FicWad

*

"Liking me makes you drink?" Kade asked, wrinkling her nose in confusion.

Spencer shrugged, awkwardly shifting his weight as he stared at the wall behind Kade. He couldn't look at her.

"That wasn't really an answer." Kade said softly, feeling horrified. Was she that bad to like? The initial euphoria at Spencer liking her had faded quickly...

"You ran off with Brendon the other night." Spencer mumbled, "I um... I figured..."

"Oh my god." Kade covered her mouth, horrified at the insinuation. "So... you thought Brendon and... and now you think Ryan and Jon? God Spencer, what do you think of me?"

"No, no!" Spencer practically yelled, shaking his head. "I didn't think- I didn't." Oh fuck well he did think that. How could he deny it? "Did you?" Why not just settle for being a complete jack ass?

Kade's eyes narrowed, "I haven't slept sexually with any of your friends. I didn't even sleep over at Brendon's. I slept here. With Jon and Ryan because they were making me feel better."

Spencer's eyes softened, "How come they had to make you feel better?" He still didn't know exactly what happened. "Are you okay?" He quickly asked, feeling like a jerk now.

Kade shook her head, not wanting to think about it. She wouldn't lie though. "I'm not okay, no."

Spencer stepped closer and Kade tensed, not particularly wanting him to touch her. Then he did. It should have been a simple sweet gesture but to Kade it wasn't. To Kade it was anything but. "Let go of me! Don't touch me!" Kade yelled in Spencer's ear, trying to shove him off since he had wrapped her in a hug.

He barely had time to react and then Jon was pulling him off of Kade and Ryan's arms were wrapped around Kade. Spencer felt hurt as he watched. Kade wasn't pulling away from Ryan.

"Ryan, I- I don't want to be here. I'm ... I think I'm gonna leave." Kade mumbled against Ryan's chest.

"I'll take you out for breakfast." Ryan said.

Kade shook her head, "Can we uhh talk in your room please?" She whispered.

Ryan nodded and they walked to his room while Jon and Spencer stood in silence in the living room.

"I th-think I'm gonna go back home." Kade mumbled, not liking the drama she was causing.

"You are home." Ryan responded, set on not letting her go back to her father.

Kade shook her head, "Just back to my dad... I mean things weren't always that bad Ryan. They really weren't. I mean, sometimes we got along and..." She chewed on her lip, "That was the only time he did that and- and he was mad about me being in jail with Brendon and I-I kind of looked like... I was in a bad place with Brendon. It looked wrong."

Ryan shook his head, "Let me show you something." Ryan said, pulling his laptop open which was sitting on his desk. It started loading and Kade watched silently as he typed something in google, bringing up pictures of women looking bruised. Kade looked away but Ryan grabbed her chin somewhat roughly, surprising her. "Look." Ryan commanded, needing her to understand how serious abuse could get.

Kade looked at the screen and the harsh images brought tears to her eyes. "He could kill you Kade." Ryan said, staring at her. "People die from abuse all the time. It's not unusual in the least. It's dangerous to go home. And now he's raping you. A lot could happen. He could hospitalize you." Kade didn't look surprised. "Or I'm guessing he already has. Now that he's raping you he could impregnate you which could cause you to have a baby with problems. You're not gonna be the same." Ryan said and then he did something that even disgusted him but he needed to drive the point home. Ryan pressed his lips against Kade's, pressing his body against hers. Kade's eyes widened and she jerked away breathlessly, falling backwards on to his bed. "Something as innocent as a kiss will never feel the same for you and that's a shame." Ryan whispered, "I think it's already gotten bad enough, don't you?"

Kade glared at Ryan, quickly standing from the bed. She stepped forward, pressing her lips against Ryan's again. She ran her fingers through his hair, trying to grab as much of him as possible. Ryan was completely confused but soon enough she pulled away, "I'm not afraid of you." Kade whispered, trying to prove him wrong though she knew him to be right.

"Are you sure?" Ryan breathed out, knowing that if he didn't win this argument that Kade would go home. He knew she wouldn't be okay if that happened. Would she be okay if he did this though?

Kade nodded, thinking she'd won.

Ryan nodded slowly, "Okay... you're not afraid of me." Kade had stepped away, "Come here then." Ryan licked his lips and looked straight at Kade.

"O-okay..." Kade stuttered, stepping forward again. She closed her eyes as Ryan slid his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Their bodies were now touching. Kade's breathing had increased. Ryan was being slow, wanting her to ask him to stop. He wanted her to understand how bad things with her father had become... he couldn't let her go back.

"Ry-R-Ryan..." Kade stuttered out as Ryan grinded his crotch against hers through their clothing. Though she was pretty this didn't turn Ryan on at all and he got no erection. He didn't like that she was frightened. He just wanted to make a point.

"Yes Kade?" Ryan breathed out, grinding once again as he guided her back towards the bed.

"I um- Spencer and, and J-jon are out in the- the liv-living room waiting for us." Kade stuttered.

Ryan nodded, smiling. "It's okay. This won't take long." Ryan replied, leaning down and kissing Kade. She fell backwards on to the bed, clutching at his blanket.

Kade squeaked. It was a small animal like noise. Ryan let up, staring at her, waiting for her to speak. "P-please... you're- y-you're right Ryan." Kade whispered, breaking down in tears.

Ryan sighed, getting off of Kade. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hu-" Ryan stumbled as Kade kicked him in the face.

Kade's eyes widened as she watched Ryan hit the ground with a thud. Someone started knocking on the door. "Everything okay?" Brendon asked. When the fuck did Brendon get here?

Ryan groaned, "It's fine. We are talking. Give us a few!' Ryan called, clutching his nose. He spoke quietly, "That hurt."

Kade rushed to Ryan's side, dropping to her knees. "I'm so sorry Ryan... I got so scared then so angry and I-" Ryan pressed his fingers against her lips to quiet her.

Kade was surprised to see Ryan smile, "No, it's good. You stood up for yourself. I'm proud." he admitted. "I didn't mean to be an ass... I mean, I view you as a little sister too..." he said of earlier, "But you need to know that you can't go back. It wouldn't be good."

"I-I-I know." Kade whispered, stuttering. She hated herself for stuttering so much, especially around Ryan. Ryan wasn't scary. He was sweet. She had to learn to tell the difference between threats and friends. Her father had taken that from her, just as Ryan had been showing her. "I wanna stay here. I want to live with you... I uhh... I can pay rent. How much?"

Ryan laughed and shook his head, "Don't worry about it." He muttered.

Kade shook her head, "Um, it won't be for long. I- I should be able to get my own place pretty soon."

Ryan looked at Kade with a smile, "I'm not too worried about it. Um, wanna go back out to the guys? Did Spencer bug you? I can ask him to leave."

Kade bit her lip and looked towards the door, "I wanna face him. I want to face them all Ryan. I want to... heal." She said softly. "I want to feel all right around people again."

Ryan nodded, understandingly. "Well let's go start this healing process then." He said, gently giving her hand a squeeze before opening his bedroom door for her.