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"Here." A small notebook fell onto Brendon's lap, and he looked up to see a smiling Ryan.
"You're late." Ryan sat down next to him, crossing his skinny jean clad legs. Brendon opened the notebook, flipping through the pages. "What is this?" Ryan bit his lip, leaning on Brendon as he looked at the pages he had scribbled on.
"Their people." Brendon looked at him, holding his breath as he looked at the way his teeth held onto his bottom lip, digging in ever so slightly to make the plump pink line slightly white.
"People?" Ryan laughed a little, pointing to the page.
"People." Brendon looked back down at it, looking at the cut out pictures with writings on the side. "It's everyone that's ever hurt you and how they did it." Brendon closed the book, looking at his boy. He smiled a little.
"Ryan, do you know what day it is?" Ryan looked confused for a second before nodding.
"Friday." Brendon pushed Ryan down, pinning him on the soft grass.
"And do you know what that means?" Ryan smirked, knowing exactly what it meant.
"No, could you tell me?" Brendon kissed him, the older boy laughing as he kissed Brendon back roughly. He pulled away, licking his lips as he stared at Ryan.
"You went through two days of torture." He put his lips to Ryan's ear. "And my parents are out of town." Ryan giggled, an actual, girly, loveable, and adorable giggle.
"Brendon Boyd Urie, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"Both of them shared a large impish grin.
"That is exactly what I'm suggesting. What do you say Ross?" Ryan laughed, crashing his lips to the younger boys.
"Yes, you twat."

Ryan was on the floor of Brendon's room, flipping through a magazine as he talked to an unresponsive Brendon. The younger boy stayed on his bed, looking at him with dreamy eyes as Ryan pretend not to notice. Brendon couldn't help but take in every aspect of the older boys appearance; watching the way his pale and thin lips moved as he spoke, his black eye had almost completely healed allowing Ryan to trace his eyes in black, the lids having grey eyeshadow over them to make the honey orbs shimmer in the light. His chestnut hair was styled perfectly in it's Ryhawk form, something that Brendon knew he had spent time to perfect. His black tee clung to his body, raising up ever so slightly to show his pale hips, hugging the slight curve from his ribs to his thin waist. It left his thin arms bare, allowing Brendon look over the bruises and cuts that he and others had made, and the rosary that was wrapped around his left hand and wrist. It made him sick, and he knew that he wanted to show the older boy that someone loved him. Brendon licked his lips, his eyes trailing down Ryan's grey skinny jeans that showed just how perfect his thin legs were.
Finally, Ryan decided that it was time to stop talking about his plans that Brendon didn't care about, and closer to the time that they finally finished what they had tried to start a million times. "Brenny, what are you thinking?" Brendon tore his eyes away from Ryan's perfect ass to his gorgeous face and smiled.
"I'm just thinking about how positively ravishing you look right now." Ryan blushed, rolling over so he was on his back.
"If you want me, then come get me." A smile tugged onto Brendon's lips, and he rose from his place on the bed, climbing on top of Ryan who let out a small laugh.
"Ry, I don't think you know how much I want you." Ryan brought his own smirking lips to the mischievous grin that was Brendon's. They kissed roughly for a few moments, Brendon's elbows going on either side of Ryan's head while his legs tangled with Ryan's. Their lips moved against each other hungrily, Brendon ignoring the slight feel of pain that came from Ryan roughly moving his lips against his cut.
Ryan's hands went around Brendon's neck, tangling in the soft brown hair so he could pull the younger boy's lips closer to his own. In return, Brendon moved so that his growing hard-on was against Ryan's, grinding into the other boy as he pulled his lips away. The two panted and moaned for a few moments, Brendon never stopping the rhythm of his hips against Ryan's. The soft noises that were coming out of the older boys parted lips were enough to keep him moving.
He put his lips back to Ryan's, the other boy kissing him fiercely. A tongue ran across thin lips, and a mouth opened willingly. Tongues battled each other, the grinding never stopping. Ryan lost, and Brendon explored the other boy's warm and wet mouth, delighted to taste honey and vanilla cigarettes as his tongue searched every nook and cranny. Ryan flipped them over, panting over Brendon as he ground his hips into the younger boys once more, his eyes closed as he let out a husky moan. The sound drove Brendon mad, though he would never admit it.
Ryan's hands moved to the hem of Brendon's shirt, slowly finding their way under it as his lips found their way to the soft skin on his neck. His hands roamed Brendon's toned chest, his fingertips moving along the pale skin, leaving trails of warmth that went straight to Brendon's bones. His lips trailed down Brendon's neck, tasting the slightly sweaty skin as he searched for his sweat spot. Brendon gave a loud whimper, arching his back as he panted under Ryan's touch. Ryan, pleased that he had found Brendon's weakest spot, started to bite and suck at the spot, making Brendon moan and writhe under him.
"Fuck, Ry." Brendon groaned. Ryan smirked against his skin, moving his lips downwards as he moved his hands up. He detached his mouth from Brendon's skin long enough to discard his shirt, allowing one of his hands to move down to palm Brendon's hard-on through his jeans. His other hand toyed with one of his nipples, his mouth sucking on the other, rolling the rosy bud between his teeth. Brendon groaned under him, his hands tangling in Ryan's soft hair. Ryan let go, staring at Brendon with a small smirk on his face.
"Bed?" Brendon nodded, and Ryan got off of him, losing most of his clothing as he made his way to Brendon's bed. Brendon watched Ryan with lust filled eyes, loving the way his body moved with every step he took. He pushed himself off of the floor, taking his pants off as he stumbled over to the bed that Ryan was currently lying on. He got on top of Ryan, taking in every aspect of his turned on body. His skin was flushed to a light pink, his thin lips were pulled into a small smile, his hair that he had spent at least an hour on was destroyed, sticking out at odd angles. His chest rose and fell with his small pants, his hard-on still hiding under the thin fabric of his boxers. He was the essence of perfection, and just looking at him made Brendon want to do everything to him.
"Bren?" Brendon snapped out of the trance Ryan's body put him in, making him remember what to do. He left a small trail of butterfly kisses down Ryan's chest, leaving a small mark when he got to the V of his hips. He hooked his thumbs under the elastic of the other boys boxers, his mouth going down to the small bulge that made a tent in the fabric. He licked and sucked at it, his lips moving slowly while Ryan let out soft moans. "Brendon…Fuck. Want you, inside me." He moaned the words, his breathing nothing but husky panting. Brendon felt his stomach flip at Ryan's words, and he lifted his head, pulling Ryan's boxers off.
He moved so he could pick up the bottle of lube off of the bedside table, popping the cap. The sent of cherries drifted through the air, making Ryan lick his lips in anticipation. Brendon spread some on his fingers, moving his hand down to Ryan's entrance, circling around it while the other boy gave off a soft moan. "Fuck, Bren. Just do it." He groaned, his back arching in pleasure as Brendon bent his head down to lick the tip of the older boys swollen member.
"Tell me if it hurts to much, okay?" Brendon whispered the words, looking into Ryan's honey eyes as the older boy nodded his head. Brendon pushed the tip of his index finger in, feeling Ryan stiffen under him. "Ry?" Ryan shifted slightly, biting his bottom lip.
"It's okay. Keep going." Brendon stared at him for a moment, hesitant to keep going when he was obviously in pain. But Ryan was begging him to continue, so he pushed his finger in deeper, making Ryan's face contort. Brendon watched as Ryan bit his bottom lip, one of his hands tangling in the sheets as the other went to Brendon's hair, gripping it somewhat loosely. He waited until Ryan seemed like he could handle it before pulling the finger out slightly, pushing it back in slowly. Ryan gripped his hair tighter, pulling on it ever so slightly.
Brendon moved so his lips could press against Ryan's, one of his hands going to the older males throbbing cock to try and distract him from the slight pain he was feeling. He continued to push and pull his finger in and out of Ryan, pumping in time with the other movements, working his lips against a pair of kiss swollen ones. It only took a matter of moments for Ryan to start letting out soft whimpers of pleasure, his grip on Brendon's hair loosening. Brendon pulled his lips away from Ryan's, staring at the way his face contorted in pleasure; his lips parted as he panted, his hair sticking to his face from his sweat, his eyes glazed over with lust, his flushed body slick with sweat. Brendon hooked his finger in Ryan, making the other boy shudder under him.
"Fuck, Bren." He tightened his grip on Brendon's hair, his hips rising to get more friction. "More." Ryan groaned, and Brendon smirked ever so slightly, pushing a second finger in knuckle deep. Ryan tensed up at the intrusion, biting his lip once more as Brendon slowly started to push in and out, creating a steady and slow rhythm. He waited until Ryan was whimpering once more to go faster, creating a scissoring motion that occasionally hit Ryan's sweet spot, making him shudder and moan under him.
"God, Ry. You look so fucking amazing." Brendon captured Ryan's lips with his own, moving them against his hungrily. Ryan gave a soft moan, and Brendon pulled away.
Ryan smirked at Brendon, staring into his big chocolate eyes. "I'm ready." he mumbled, pressing his lips to Brendon's once more. Brendon pulled his fingers out, leaving Ryan to feel empty. He reached for the bottle of lube once more, spreading some onto his member, never letting his lips stray from Ryan's. He pressed the tip of his member against Ryan's stretched and slick hole, getting ready to push in. He pulled his lips away from Ryan's, letting his forehead fall against the other boy's.
"You sure you're ready?" Ryan nodded, his hand that was tangled in Brendon's hair going to the other boy's shoulder, giving a soft smile.
"I trust you Brendon." Brendon couldn't help but think he was more nervous about what he was about to do than Ryan. He let out a shaky breath, pressing his lips to Ryan's.
He pulled back and looked in Ryan's begging eyes, giving a small nod. "If it hurts to much, just bite me, okay?" Ryan nodded, and Brendon slowly allowed himself to push in. He felt his tip go past the first ring of muscles, loving the way they felt against his sensitive skin. Ryan's nails dug into the skin around his shoulder blade, his lips finding the younger boys shoulder. He bit down, his eyes filling with tears at the feeling. It wasn't that it was bad, just…new. Brendon grasped Ryan's member once more, running his thumb over the slit and down the rest of the shaft.
Ryan gave a small nod, and Brendon pressed in a little more. Ryan took in a sharp breath, his nails digging into Brendon's skin once more. "Try to relax." Brendon mumbled, kissing his neck. He didn't go any farther until he found Ryan's sweat spot, making him give a soft whimper before giving a gasp at the feeling of Brendon pushing in deeper. He had to use every ounce of restraint from pushing in all the way without the consent of Ryan, but he knew it would be worth it in a matter of time. They continued on like that, going inch by inch until Brendon was all the way in, shuddering over Ryan. He kissed Ryan's neck sloppily, smiling ever so slightly.
"Does it hurt?" He mumbled against the skin on Ryan's neck, sending chills down his spine. He detached his teeth from Brendon's shoulder and nodded ever so slightly.
"It- It isn't unbearable." Ryan stuttered the words, and Brendon kissed him, knowing very well that it couldn't be anything less than painful for him. "Bren, you can move." Brendon nodded, slowly pulling out before pushing back in. He could see the pain that crossed on Ryan's face, and he honestly didn't want to continue. But Ryan was nodding his head, telling him it was fine, so Brendon continued to move in and out at a painfully slow pace. It took a while, but Ryan got used to the feeling, letting out small moans and gasps, begging Brendon to go faster.
Brendon continued to be cautious, though he wasn't even close to denying Ryan what he wanted. He knew for a fact that he could never say no to him; it didn't matter what he was asking, there wasn't a single fiber in Brendon's being that would allow him to deny one of Ryan's requests. It just wasn't the way it worked. He loved him too much.
"Fuck. Brendon, I- I'm gonna-" Ryan groaned, and moaned and shuddered under Brendon, coming in-between their stomachs. Brendon felt the muscles tighten around him, watching as Ryan reached pure bliss, and found that it was impossible to hold back. He rode out his orgasm with tiny thrusts, moaning Ryan's name over and over again. He pulled out, collapsing next to Ryan, who tossed his arm over Brendon's chest, rolling halfway on him as he panted. "I love you." Ryan pressed his lips to Brendon's, pulling away with a wet smack. Brendon smiled as he attempted to catch his breath, snuggling his face in Ryan's sweaty hair.
"I love you, too." It didn't take long for the two to fall asleep under the now dirty and rumpled sheets, the room smelling like musk and cherry lubrication. The last thought that filtered through Brendon's tired mind was what his 'mother' would think if she knew, and he couldn't help but laugh. Because he didn't give a fuck as to what she thought, all that mattered was the exhausted boy that slept on his chest. The only person in the world that could constantly ware him out, and drive him mad.

The weekend was spent playing dusty board games in-between showers and sex. There were times spent doing absolutely nothing, the two just staring at the ceiling as they muttered about their ghosts from the past, telling the other that it didn't matter, when they both knew they wouldn't be talking about it if that were the truth. Because it was one of the only things that mattered, and they both knew how it would end their future.
Brendon even brought Ryan to his real mothers grave, kissing the granite as he apologized for all that he had done, and all that he was going to do. Ryan held him, allowing him to cry on his shoulder for what must have been more than an hour. He didn't mind, he never did. Ryan loved making Brendon happy, it was the only thing that kept him going. Knowing that he could make Brendon happy for one more day, one more hour. Just one more minute of his sickly sweet smile; it was the worst drug Ryan was addicted to, and he couldn't control it anymore than he could control the movement of the waves or the leaves change in colors.
But once Sunday night came, Ryan had to leave. There was nothing he wanted more than to stay with Brendon, tone curled up in a warming embrace, but his step-mother and father were coming home, and he couldn't be seen. Not when he was supposed to be a good little mormon boy. So Ryan left, kissing Brendon goodbye as he forced himself to walk to his house, dreading every step that brought him closer to the hell he had to call home.
His father screamed and bitched at him for being gone all weekend without saying a word. And Ryan knew better. He knew that there was no way in hell that his father actually cared. He guessed he just missed someone to talk down to, to take his anger out on. Because that's all Ryan was to his father to begin with. Just a punching bag waiting to take a few new blows. And he hated every second of it.
He collapsed in his bed, closing his eyes as he tried to ignore the sound of his father and mother screaming at each other. They honestly couldn't get along. Never had, and never would. Ryan wondered why they were even together, but knowing his family, it had to do something with a one-night stand followed by a pregnancy, and then himself. And his parents couldn't have a child out of wed-lock. Oh no, that would never do.
He groaned, rolling over, waiting for silence to fall over his run down house. About an hour later, all that he could hear was the soft buzz of the TV entertaining itself in the living room, and Ryan knew that his mother had taken over the bed, his father crashing on the couch once more. He gave a sigh of relief, rolling onto his side as he tried to sleep. And he was almost out when there was a soft knock on his window. Ryan opened one eye, staring at the windowpane in confusion. Another soft knock. Ryan got up, shuffling over to the window. He unlocked the small latch, pushing it open.
Brendon climbed in, kissing Ryan with a smile on his lips, blood on his hands.
Ryan caught one of Brendon's thin wrists "B, what did you do?" Ryan looked at the blood stained hands that were Brendon's, and the younger boy looked down guiltly.
"I-" He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it soon after as he attempted to find the words to say. He pressed his forehead against Ryan's, giving a small sigh. "Ryan, you know that I love you right?" Ryan nodded a yes. "And you know that I would do anything to be with you?" Ryan gave another small nod, wrapping his arms around Brendon.
"You-You didn't…kill them, did you?" Ryan struggled with saying it, but he had to know. He needed to know that his Brendon wasn't a killer. He was too good for that. He was too good for everything that involved Ryan's fucked up life. Brendon let out a small laugh, rubbing his nose against Ryan's still messy amber hair. He inhaled the sent, forcing himself to remember it no matter what.
"No, I couldn't do that." He gave out another shaky laugh. "She caught me cleaning up one of the messes we made, and she…she just knew what I had done with you. So she started to scream and attack me with everything that she could grab. And then-" He got slightly chocked up, tears falling into Ryan's soft hair. "Then she got dad, and I just, I couldn't take it. She made me look evil, and I had to fight back." Brendon moved so his nose was against Ryan's soft cheek. "I had to fight back for you. For us." Ryan nodded, giving Brendon a soft kiss.
"You can get comfy in the bed." Ryan said softly, his hand on Brendon's cheek. Brendon nodded, letting go of Ryan's small frame. He took his shoes and jacket off, allowing them to make a small pile on the dirty floor of Ryan's room. He looked over at Ryan, who was searching on his desk, before he got on the bed, crawling under the warm sheets. Ryan came over to him, sitting on the bed right next to him.
"Brendon, can you promise me something?" Brendon looked up at him, and smiled.
"Anything you want." Ryan bit his bottom lip.
"Give me your arm." Brendon nodded and outstretched his arm for Ryan to take. He watched as Ryan pulled the cap off of a sharpie, writing on his arm. He laughed at the feeling, making it hard for Ryan to write on his soft skin. When he let go, Brendon looked at the words that had been printed on his arm in black ink. 'Marry me, carry me, bury me. To the end.' His brows furrowed in confusion, and he looked over at Ryan to ask him what it meant, but it was already to late. Ryan was snuggled under the covers, deep in sleep with his body as close to Brendon's as he could manage without climbing onto of him.
Brendon gave a soft sigh and a small smile, wrapping his arms around Ryan, allowing himself to fall asleep in his boys arms.


~~~~~

So I got a new computer! (Yay!) It's super nice and makes writing all the better. So chances are, I'll be updating more and they should be better chapters too. Anyway, hope you like it as always.

PartyPoison: Glad you're excited, and I'm hoping this story won't be a disappointment, though I'm sure it won't be, because I'm putting my heart into it.
And it's not the first time I've lost a friend, most of them only last a few years for me anyway. It's one of the reasons why I try to not get close to people.

Obsessive-Fangirl: Happy to make you excited for something new. And I'm over it. It wasn't that big of a deal, I just...got lost in the moment I guess.
I don't know if you've said that, but it does make me happy to read that.

SyraStrange: It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when people tell me I'm a good writer. Like a kitten in a microwave. (That's horrible, I know.) I think I might screw up more than normal people, but I've always been this way, so I don't think it's because I'm broken so much as it's just part of my personality.

AnotherKnifeInMyHand: Gosh, we all hope so. I actually got the idea for this story while going back and forth between Revenge and Bullets. It really was their best album, in my opinion anyway.
I think as long as I keep posting new chapters and stories on this site, I'm not going to be allowed to forget it. You're all just so sweet.

TheAnonymous: I don't do too well around other people, mainly because I'm pretty sure I have borderline personality disorder, so I'm all over the place with my emotions every day of every year. It confuses people, really. But it's okayy, because I know that it doesn't really matter. I'm going to move in a few years, and all of this will be behind me no problem.

-xoxo Pansy.