FicWad

I hide in the small closet of my room, holding the door shut and desperately hoping no one comes to find me. Fate decides against being kind as I hear footsteps arrive at my bedroom door. The door creaks open and I hold my breath.

“Mikey?”

I can tell in my brother’s voice that he’s worried, a bit more annoyed though, but I can’t give in. I must stay hidden. I silently pray that he’ll leave the room and search another place, but his footsteps only get closer. I need to take a breath, but I can’t. Not now when he’s so close. He could hear me, and then what? I’d have to crawl out of the closet and start explaining. I do not want to explain.

I hear him sigh, “Mikes, I know you’re in here…”

Why did I have to roll up my sleeves on the way home? I’m such an idiot. So what if it was hot outside? I’m such a fucking idiot. Now I have to pay.

“MIKEY!”

I cover my mouth as a soft squeak escapes. No. Gerard just leave. Leave and let me continue my silent suffering. Another pair of footsteps enter the room followed by a voice I really wish I didn’t hear. No. Not him. No, please. Not him.

“Gee, is he in here?” His voice is shaken with worry.

“I’ll check under the bed…skinny fucker’s probably there.” Gerard snorts.

Under the bed? Guess it’s good I decided against that option. Fuck I hear footsteps getting close. I bite my lip hard as the get even closer. The footsteps stop.

“He’s not under the bed…” Gerard lets out an impatient growl.

“Found him.” The voice says softly.

Despite my efforts to keep the door shut, Frank Iero is stronger than me and easily opens it. I try to run past them, but get caught by two pairs of arms. I kick, scream and flail wildly to escape, with no such luck. They toss me onto my bed and sit on each side of me.

“Mikey what the fuck!” Gerard grabs my arm, making me wince in pain.

Frank slaps his hand “Easy!”

I start to shake. Leave me alone. I can’t explain. I don’t want to explain. Just leave me alone.

Frank wraps an arm around me “Shh… it’s okay sweetie.”

“It’s NOT okay!” Gerard yanks up my sleeve, revealing many scars “Why the hell would you do this Michael?”

Frank gets up and shoves his boyfriend out of the room “I’ll handle this.” He shuts the door in Gerard’s face and locks it before Gerard can say another word.

I look down and hug my knees. Please go Frank. Don’t pity me. Don’t waste your time. Please just go.

Frank rolls up his sleeve “You see these scars?”

I look up and gasp. There is no way happy hyperactive Frank Iero would hurt himself.

“I used to do that, and more, so I won’t judge you okay? But you’ve gotta talk to me.”

I shake my head and hide my face in my knees. He walks over and gently rubs my back.

“Please? Talking to me about your problems is a much better outlet, sugar…”

I blush slightly as he calls me sugar. I hate when he calls me that, but love it at the same time. Love it because it’s comforting and makes me feel loved. Hate it for the same reasons. He’s with Gerard, so I need to keep my feelings hidden. Especially from Gerard.

He sighs and pulls me into his arms. I uncontrollably smile a little and lean into him.

After a long silence I weakly whisper “Frank, I want to die.”

He frowns and hugs me closer “No sweetie. No. You’re just upset. It’ll all work out in the end.”

“Unlikely.”


“What’s hurting you so much, Mikes?” he asks in a sad voice.

I can’t tell him. I can’t get rid of the only friend I have. I can’t do it.

“Mikey, please?”

I have to tell him something at least. Just to make him back off some.

“I’m gay, Frank.”

His eyes widen “Mikey, you have a girlfriend.”

“I hate her. I hate her and her stupid friends. I hate the way she makes me feel. I just wanted to fix myself. But it isn’t working. I know she’s cheating on me. I know she’s only with me because it’s some joke to her and her friends. I just… I wanted to fix myself.”

“Fix yourself? Honey, you can’t fix what isn’t broken. I’m dating a guy right now. Am I broken?”

I shake my head “You like girls too though. You don’t want to vomit every time you think about…g-girl parts. I’m supposed to want a wife and kids but I don’t. I just want…” You. I want you.

He hugs me tight “Michael James Way, love is love. Dick, vagina, boy, girl, it doesn’t matter, you understand?”

“But it does. Gerard would hate me.”

“Why would he hate you? That’d make him a hypocrite…”

I don’t answer.

“Mikey?”

I look up at him.

“Is there some guy you like at school?”

I nod, but that’s as honest as I’m getting.

“Who is it?”

I shake my head.

“Is it that…. Ray guy?”

I shake my head.

He bites his lip and whispers “M-Me?”

I start sobbing onto his chest, and refuse to answer. No. He can’t find out! I can’t tell him how I feel! Please Frank just let it go. Don’t make me tell you. I can’t handle loosing my best friend. Please don’t make me tell you. I can’t do it. I wont. Please I’ve told you enough as it is!

“Mikey…honey?”

I just cry.

“Look at me, sugar.”

I look up at Frank, blurred through the tears. He leans in and kisses me softly. I instantly kiss back. Our lips stay together until a few tears fall between them. I pull back and look away.

“Gerard.” Is all I manage to choke out.

“You aren’t the only one dating someone else to try and get over your feelings…” He sighs, “He’s such a jerk to you Mikey…I hate it.”

“That makes two of us.”

He smiles and gently wipes my eyes “Don’t hurt yourself, Sugar.”

He takes my hands in his and kisses every cut and scar on my arms. I blush and smile, feeling his gentle kisses. He actually likes me.

He smiles up at me and kisses my lips again. I kiss back, wrapping my arms around his neck as he holds my waist tightly. He pulls back and chuckles.

“What’s so funny?” I pout.

“How ironic, that you were hiding in the closet…” He grins, even managing to get a smile out of me.