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BYE, BYE, JACKIE



Chapter 1 - Bad News, Good News


Music played on the radio as Will prepared breakfast. The lyrics of The Way We Were hit home like they never had before. He became pensive listening to the words. Jack had recently been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Will thought back and blamed himself that he had not taken action sooner when Jack had started to mention the dizzy spells, headaches, weakness and nausea he was having early that summer. But with Jack's penchant for histrionics, it was difficult to tell the drama queen from reality. However, things came to a head by the end of August when one morning he, Jack and Grace were sitting at breakfast guffawing over the society column in the newspaper.

(flashback)
"What will Beverly Leslie do next to get publicity...challenge Bret "The Hitman" Hart to a wrestling match?" Will roared with laughter. "Too bad Karen is in Europe now. She'd get a bang out of this!" he added.
Grace and Jack joined in the mirth. Suddenly Jack stopped laughing and put his hand to his head, wincing. Grace noticed and placed a hand gently on Jack's shoulder.
"What is it, Jack?" she asked.
"Just laughing too hard - probably only burst a major artery," Jack groaned.
His two friends shrug it off and continue to ridicule the morning news. A few moments later, Jack jumped up and excused himself. He bolted towards Will's lavatory. He barely made it as he slid to his knees in front of the bowl and disgorged his breakfast into it. Will and Grace hear his distress and are more concerned now. Will rushed to the bathroom.
"JACK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" he asked.
Jack's only answer was more vomiting. Will squatted by his friend and put his arms around Jack's shoulders as he continued to heave even after his stomach was emptied. Will felt Jack's forehead. There was no fever, in fact Jack felt clammily cold. When the retching subsided, Will helped a shaky Jack back to the table. He was pale and weak. Grace inquired if he felt okay. Jack falsely nodded in the affirmative. He tried to allay the concern he saw on their faces, fearing they would take him to a doctor if they felt anything was wrong. Jack had a morbid fear of doctors and their paraphernalia.
Will and Grace exchanged apprehensive glances. They were concerned but not alarmed. No use getting worried over a case of stomach flu, they surmised.
Jack had said he just wanted to rest so his friends allowed him to stay in their apartment with the admonition that he should call them if he had any further difficulties.
Jack agreed. Will and Grace spent a tense day waiting for a call that never came,
but arriving home that evening, they found Jack just where that had left him. He was unconscious and unresponsive. Even after he was revived in the hospital, he was weak and confused. Then the tests started which was not easy for Jack considering his medical phobias. Then came the fateful diagnosis. Jack had taken it relatively calmly, at least outwardly, which surprised his friends. They had expected a dramatic emotional outburst. It was then that Will and Grace decided to care for Jack themselves. It would be more comfortable for him in the short time he had left to have his familiar friends by his side rather than the strangeness of a hospice. They let Jack have Grace's bedroom in Will's apartment. Since Karen was traveling in Europe at the time, Grace suggested that she bring her work home and stay there days to look after Jack. When Will came home in the evening, he would see to Jack's personal needs and stay on night call while Grace slept at Jack's.
(end flashback)

The doctors had given him until the end of October at the outside. It was mid-October now, Will realized, as he glanced out the apartment window. Falling leaves swirled by on a gust of wind. It was getting too close now. Jack had always loved autumn and would romp like a kid through the piles of leaves in Central Park. Not this year...not ever again. It was difficult for the stoic attorney to think that Jack had already celebrated his last Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Easter and...birthday. He thought back, about how traumatized Jack had been when he found out that his 29th birthday was actually his 30th. Now he wasn't even going to reach 40. Will shook his head trying to dispel the morose thoughts and placed the dishes on the table. The song ended and suddenly /Hit the Road, Jack/blared out.

Dismayed at the timing of the new song, he reached over and clicked off the radio. As he did, Grace let herself in. She was dressed casually and flopped down in a chair and ate silently and quickly. It was her shift to be with Jack. When she was done, she fixed a tray of light, nourishing food and carried it into her former bedroom. It was a fifty-fifty chance Jack would keep any of it down.

He lay on his back in her bed, eyes closed. He was even paler and thinner looking than when he had come home from the hospital, Grace thought. A willowy man to start with, now his cheekbones stood out sharply, silhouetted against the morning light in the window. She wondered if he was still sleeping, but at the sound of her movement, his eyelids fluttered and slowly opened. He just stared at the ceiling, not looking at her. "Good morning, Jack!" she tried to sound cheerful, but thought to herself that she actually sounded annoyingly patronizing.

Jack turned his head away, not replying.

"Look what I have for you today. Yummy applesauce, marmalade on toast, and ummmm, hot chocolate. Man, I wish I was in bed being served by the most attractive person in this building."

"Grace," Jack said softly.

"Yes..."

"Please don't...don't feel you have to pretend any more."

This was the first time Grace could recall that she had heard Jack speak in a normal tone and not his affectedly high tenor.
"Why? What do you mean?" Grace sputtered, surprised at Jack's statement.

"You know...we both know..." he trailed off, turning his head towards her now. She could see dark circles under his eyes and the distant, frightened look in them.

Grace placed the tray in front of Jack. He didn't move.
The phone rang. She heard Will answer, then call out "Grace...phone!". She bounded out of the bedroom, almost glad to have the interruption.

"Hello! Hello!" she almost shouted into the mouthpiece. "Yes...the is Grace Adler." She seated herself on the sofa listening intently for a few moments. "Oh...oh," she gasped. "This is SUCH an honor. Of course I'll be there. Thank you. Thank you! Bye-ee!"

"What was THAT all about?" Will asked.

Grace turned around to see him still standing in the kitchenette dressed in his dark gray three-piece suit, sipping on a mug of coffee.

Oh, Will! Such good news! I've been awarded top honor by Designing Homes magazine for the work I did on the old Brewster place. I have to leave the day after tomorrow for Boston to receive a prize and a tour all the best homes in the bay area. Then..." she stopped suddenly throwing her fingertips in front of her mouth. "Oh no, not now!" she realized that in her excitement, she had temporarily forgotten about Jack.

Will smiled warmly, "You go right ahead, sweetie. Don't worry about Jack. He and I will manage just fine. Besides, I need a little 'vacation' from the office. Things are slow right now, so I can get some time off. Besides, you're not the only one that can bring work home."

"Oh, Will, you're a doll!" Grace gushed as she hugged her friend. Walking on air, she grabbed her purse and floated out of the apartment to pick up the airline tickets.

Will went to check on Jack. He hadn't touched the food.

"Anything the matter?" Will asked.

"What was that phone call...more bad news?" Jack snapped bitterly.

"Put a lid on it, huh?" Will snapped right back, then instantly regretted it. After all, how would he be feeling right now if the situation was reversed, if it was he was laying there lingering under a death sentence? "No, actually, it was good news, especially for Grace. She just found out that she won an award for her design work. She's leaving for Boston the day after tomorrow."

"Whoopee," Jack replied sarcastically. "And that would leave...who...to be here...to take care of the old sicko?"

Jack's words stung Will, but he calmly replied, "The office can manage a few days without me."

"Why does this happen...WHY?" Jack moaned.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm such a burden to you and Grace? You've got to go out of your way and juggle your schedules...just for me."

"Jack...you know better. You're not a burden. We've managed, and Grace actually prefers working here than in the office, now that Karen is away."

"KARE...BEAR!" Jack started to sob.

Will instantly regretted mentioning Karen. They had tried to send a telegraph, but it must have missed her. Leave it to Karen not to follow a travel agenda. Now they weren't sure just where she was in Europe. She was with Stan who was touring his business interests there and had planned to be away until mid-November - another month. It didn't help anyone's mood when they all realized that, given the prognosis, Jack probably wouldn't be around for her homecoming. It was the same with Jack's mother. Apparently she also decided to take a vacation and not tell anyone. Even Jack's son, Elliot, was away at college. Why was it no one was ever around when they might be needed? As usual, it was up to 'Good Old Will' to handle everything.

"Are you going to eat?" Will asked.

"NO!" Jack replied petulantly, pushing the tray away.

"Suit yourself," Will resigned, picking it up from the bed. He carried it out to the kitchen and scraped the dishes into the trash. He was going to pour the chocolate down the sink, but thought, "What the hell. No use letting good cocoa go to waste," and chugged it down. He was feeling a little peeved at Jack and his acting-out, illness beside the point.


Chapter 3 - Autumn in New York

Grace was in Boston. She had left the day before. She hugged Will and waved 'ta-ta' to Jack as she exited with an admonition that she would see him again in a few days. If she had only known...

Early in the afternoon, Will was reading some briefs at his home desk.

"Will?" Jack's voice sounded from the bedroom.

Will, sighing, tossed his pen down and went to see what Jack wanted.

"What is it?" Will asked, leaning in the doorway, surprised to see his friend sitting up on the edge of the bed.

"Can we go to the park today?" Jack wanted to know, speaking in almost his old tone.

Will was a little startled at the unexpected request, but was glad Jack was showing interest in something. Even though his eyes still looked sunken, some of the sapphire sparkle had returned to them, a sparkle that Will had not seen in weeks.

"Of course. I'd like to get out too. Just let me finish a few papers, then we can get ready," Will responded.

Jack actually smiled and bounced himself on the mattress a few times. In about twenty minutes, Will re-appeared and helped Jack get dressed. It was autumn, not really cold yet, but certainly not summer-like and Will didn't want to compromise Jack's well being any more that it already was. Jack seemed interested in every little thing Will did, even buttoning his jacket. Will called a taxi. It was too far for Jack to walk now.

The cab let them off at Central Park West. Will kept a watchful eye on Jack who hadn't been out since coming home from the hospital and had stayed in bed most of the time. Will was still worried and was on the alert for any signs of fatigue or weakness. They walked, slowly of course. Jack seemed to be trying to take in as much of the sights, sounds and atmosphere as he could. He spotted a pile of orange leaves under a large maple and started toward them. Will followed. Jack bent down and scooped up an armful. Will wondered what was happening when Jack suddenly spun around and threw them at Will, laughing like his old self. Will joined in, grabbing up handfuls of fallen foliage and returning the barrage. They were laughing so hard they finally collapsed together on the pile amid the man-made blizzard of leaves.

When they had caught their breath, Will sat up and said, "How about a hot dog?"

"You buying?" Jack teased.

Will sighed in mock frustration. He jumped up, easily pulling the emaciated Jack with him. They strolled to the nearest vendor. Jack sat on a nearby bench as Will placed the order. He brought the sandwiches and some mugs of steaming coffee over. They had a delightful meal on the simple fare as they watched brightly colored kites dance in the sky against the backdrop of the New York skyline. After a while, Will noticed that Jack was looking fatigued. He even looked a little flushed, the first color Will had seen on Jack's face in weeks. He wondered if it was from the unaccustomed exertion, the fresh air and sunshine, the hot coffee, or from something more ominous. Will asked if he wanted to go home. Jack nodded. When they were in the cab, Jack spoke.

"Thank you," he said simply.

"For what?" Will asked, truly perplexed.

"For taking the time, for the afternoon, for the hot dog, for just being a friend," then softly, placing his hand over Will's, "For everything." Jack said as his sky blue eyes met Will's warm brown.

Will felt tears welling up in his eyes, then trying to dismiss the feelings, took a playful swipe at Jack. "Get out, now, you big sissy," Will teased, but thought to himself, "You're more than welcome."

"I wish Grace were her so I could tell her, too. I've been really nasty to her the last few days." Jack mused.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Jack. She understands. You can tell her when she gets back," Will consoled.

Jack just smiled and leaned back in the seat, enjoying the bright autumn day, the ride and the company of his long-time friend.

The next day passed uneventfully. Jack was quieter than he had been the day before, but still much less morose than when he first came home from the hospital. He actually sat up most of the day and quietly watched Will, whatever he did, but refused all offers of food. Will felt a little self-conscious at the attention and was somewhat glad when Jack's bedtime rolled around.


Chapter 3 - Adios

"WILL!"

Will's eyes shot open. He looked at the clock. Almost 5:30 AM. He glanced in his bedroom doorway and saw the glow in the living room of the apartment from the low wattage light he had been leaving on in case he had to get up quickly in the night.

"Will...where are you?" Jack's voice came again, sounding tremulous and anxious.

Will leaped from bed, throwing on his robe and hurrying towards the sound. He saw Jack on his hands and knees near the couch still in his favorite powder blue cowboy print pajamas and suede scuffs.
"What is it, Jack?" Will asked.

Hearing Will's voice behind him, Jack turned his head in Will's direction. He had a blank look on his face, eyes staring, but looking at nothing.
"Will?"

"I'm here, Jack. What do you want?" Will said striding closer to his friend. He stopped short when he saw Jacks' eyes. The pupils were extremely dilated making his eyes look black instead of their usual azure tint.

"What happened to that little light you leave on?" Jack asked.
Will had a sinking feeling in his abdomen. Bending over, he put his hand in front of Jack's face and waved it back and forth. There was no response. Jack was blind. The doctor had said this might happen and when it did, it would be just a matter of hours. Will thinking quickly answered his friend, trying to keep his voice even despite the lump in his throat, not wanting to distress him,
"Uh...must be a power outage, Jack."
Suddenly the electric parlor clock sounded its half-hour chime.

Jack frowned. "Why did you lie to me...why?"

"I...I...just didn't want you to get upset," Will fumbled, then seeing no point in deception any longer said, "Jack, your eyes are dilated, you're not able to see now...you know what the doctor said..."

Will braced himself for an hysterical eruption, but Jack did something Will didn't expect.

"Hold me, Will," Jack said softly, tenderly.

Will almost totally lost it then. Kneeling by Jack, he put his hands gently on each side of Jack's face. Jack seemed almost to melt into the lawyer's warm strong arms as they enveloped him. When he did, Will felt Jack's wasted body trembling ever so slightly. Jack was so thin now that Will could feel his ribs through the pajamas; it was like embracing an old washboard.
Jack could also feel Will's body shuddering slightly with stifled sobs.

"Don't cry, Will... please. You know I'll be in a better place very soon. I'm going to the big casting call in the sky," Jack whispered.

Will could hardly hold it in now. He found himself hoping that when his time came, he would be as brave. He picked up his friend and stepping around the furniture, eased him onto the sofa. As Will sat down beside him, Jack allowed his head to flop on Will's shoulder. Will considered calling the hospital, but what could they do? - only keep him alive in misery a little longer? Then the thought came that the trip to the park had hastened Jack's decline, but even if he hadn't taken Jack out that day, the end would have come eventually. Will was glad that, at least, he had given that to Jack.

For the next hour, Will continued to hold him, even as daylight slowly brightened the window, even as Jack's breathing became slower and slower and his body warmth gradually ebbed. Suddenly, Jack heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. Will could barely hear Jack slowly gasp the words,
"Tell everyone I loved them...especially Karen. I love you too, Will. Thank you...thanks for...everything." Then Jack sighed again and his body went limp. He was gone.

Will had to fight the impulse to give him resuscitation. "Why bring him back, even if I could, only to have him go through this again. Be a REAL friend, Truman! Let him go. LET...HIM...GO!" he thought fiercely to himself.

Will eased Jack's body back into the corner of the sofa. He couldn't help thinking that it looked like Jack had just fallen asleep there. Then something fell out of Jack's hand that he had been holding onto, something Will hadn't noticed before. He glanced at the object - it was the lollipop that Jack had asked the doctor for when he had left the hospital. It was still wrapped in cellophane. Will picked it up and, staring at it through his own streaming tears, realized that it was Jack's last simple gift to him. Will pressed the candy to his cheek as he sobbed, "Jack...oh, Jack." He remembered he song lyrics of /The Way We Were /he had heard on the radio just a few days before - was it just a few days or an eternity? - playing over in his head.
Thoughts now came flooding back - memories of Jack, like his big entrance at the party where Karen's cousin, Barry, had his 'coming out'; or the time he rode a scooter he had bought on Ebay through Will's apartment; when he played strip poker with Karen wearing her powderpuff hat; the Halloween he showed up dressed as David Soul from Starsky and Hutch; the debut of his "Just Jack" cabaret act; their last day in the park together. Just too many memories of the man-child that had, up until a few weeks ago, lived life in his own exuberant style. Will knew that his passing was going to leave a large void in the lives of all who knew him.

"Goodbye, Jack. I loved you, too," Will said as he kissed his friend's pale cheek. Then wiping the tears from his eyes, he slipped the lollipop carefully into the pocket of his robe as he reached for the phone. He had some difficult calls to make.