FicWad

Just a quick note guys,
This is just a little (big) one shot that I’ve spent all of today writing because the idea just hit me and I had to get it down. It touches on different stuff I’ve wanted to write for ages but never really knew how to structure so I’m really excited to share it with you all, as such I was impatient and didn’t have it beta’d nor have I proof read it so I apologise in advance for the inevitable mistakes it will have in it.
Hopefully there won’t be too many and I really hope you enjoy :D
xo



“Gerard,” Lyn wandered into the kitchen, three year old Bandit resting on her hip with her arms around her neck. “Hey.” Lyn looked a little confused as she looked at her husband, sat alone at the kitchen table, flicking through a new comic book.

“Hey.” Gerard mumbled, a little voice in the back of his head whispering at him to look away from the art work spread out infront of him; easier said than done but he managed to tear his eyes from the colourful story and smile widely at Lyn and Bandit. “Did you have a good time? Hey sweetie.” He cooed when Bandit wriggled from her mother’s arms and stumbled towards him with a wide smile.

“Yeah it was fine.” Lyn shrugged, Bandit squealing as Gerard leant down to scoop her up into his lap and press a kiss to her forehead. “Isn’t Frank here?”

“Did you enjoy seeing grandma – what?” Gerard stopped speaking in a sing song voice to Bandit and looked at Lyn with raised eyebrows. “Frank? No... I assume he’s in New Jersey.” He shrugged, confused by his wife’s question.

Lyn looked at Gerard with an equally confused look, Bandit gazing between them with her thumb resting beneath her lower lip. She sensed the confusion between her parents and giggled at it, fidgeting in Gerard’s lap until he released her.

“Uncle Frankie!” She declared, skipping across the floor as Gerard got to his feet, Lyn tilting her head towards the door.

“Oh... Just, I could’ve sworn I saw his car outside.”

Gerard frowned and walked slowly out of the kitchen to investigate. “Are you sure it was his?” He called over his shoulder, certain that his wife was just mistaken as he opened the front door and poked his head out.

Pulled up to the sidewalk was a car very similar to Frank’s... in fact, it wasn’t even similar, it was identical. Right down to the personalised license plate. Gerard stepped out of the door way with a racing heart, a smile about to split his features until he realised that Frank’s car was empty. This bemused Gerard... if Frank had come to visit why hadn’t he called in advance? Or more importantly, why hadn’t he knocked the door?

Gerard blushed when he wondered if Frank had gone off somewhere, thinking they were out. Lyn had taken the car to see her mother with Bandit, and Gerard had taken the time to put in his headphones and shut out the world whilst he worked on some thumbnails for his comic. Gerard gasped when he realised Frank must have knocked when he was listening to his music and he hadn’t heard the door, but then where had he gone?

“Well?” Lyn asked softly as Gerard entered the house again, pulling the door shut behind himself. “Was it his car?”

“No doubt about it.” Gerard shrugged, gazing about as if Frank was going to suddenly jump out from behind a plant or something and shout ‘surprise!’ “I was listening to music earlier, he must have knocked and thought we were out.”

“Well he can’t have gone far on foot.” Lyn noted, the couple meeting each other’s eyes for a moment before both shrugged and made their way back into the kitchen. “He probably just went for a wander, he’ll show up.” Lyn smiled, Gerard nodding his agreement.

“I’ll try calling him anyway, let him know we’re in.” He decided, wandering to the kitchen table to pick up his cell phone. As he grabbed it from the wooden surface he glanced out the kitchen window, frowning when he saw a figure in the tree house at the bottom of the garden.

“Hey is someone in...” Gerard trailed off, walking to the window and squinting out of it. He could see someone’s feet in the tree house doorway, as if a person was lying down inside it. Scruffy... beat up converse soles...

“What is he doing?” Gerard couldn’t stop amusement coming through in his voice as he put his phone back down and opened the back door to step into the garden, Lyn turning to see what he was doing.

“Frankie?” Gerard strolled quickly down the sunlit garden, the grass pressing against his feet through his socks. Behind him he heard Bandit calling Frank’s name excitedly as she ran after Gerard, Lyn walking out after her. Gerard’s eyes were fixed on the doorway up in the tree though, his heart hammering excitedly.

“Frank?” Gerard laughed as he grabbed hold of the rope ladder that led up into the wooden structure and began to climb it. Frank made no response that he had even heard him so Gerard called his name louder, this time the sound of shoes scuffing on wood alerting him to the fact that Frank was finally aware of his presence.

“Frankie? Man, what are you doing in my tree hou –” Gerard fell short as he reached the top of the ladder and the top half of his body leant through the doorway, his eyes coming to fix on his best friend and band mate who was sat up now, looking at him with tears dripping down his cheeks. “Frank?” Gerard whispered, taking in the scruffy clothes the younger man was wearing and the bruising down the left side of his face.

“I’ve left Jamia.” Frank whispered, his voice quiet and broken and Gerard felt his heart plummet as below him Bandit begged to be allowed up.

>X<

“You don’t have to leave ya know.” Gerard whispered quietly, leaning close to Lyn as they stood in the hall, trying not to be heard by Frank who was in the living room. “Don’t feel like you need to –”

“Gerard its fine. I’ll just go back to my mum’s for a bit. I’m sure Frank will only want to talk to you anyway.” Lyn whispered back, smiling warmly and gently pecking Gerard’s lips. “Make sure he’s alright yeah? I’ll call Jamia once I’ve left and make sure her and the kids are okay too.”

“Thanks honey.” Gerard sighed, hugging Lindsay tight for a moment, grateful for how understanding she was. “We’ll only need a couple hour’s tops.”

“I’ll have dinner at mums, gives you plenty of time then. I’ll be back later, not much later than nine though okay? I don’t want to disturb B’s sleep pattern.” Gerard nodded his understanding as Lyn kissed him again and then stepped back to allow him to kiss Bandit goodbye. “Gerard... Make sure he isn’t gonna do anything stupid...” Lyn added ever so quietly, Gerard frowning at her.

“Have a little faith in him Lyn.” He sighed, kissing Bandit’s forehead and hugging her close before he straightened up to face his wife. Lyn gave him one of her looks and Gerard sighed, biting his lip. “I’ll make sure.”

“Thank you.” Lyn smiled, taking Bandit’s hand and starting towards the door. “I’ll see you later,” She smiled, turning to call a goodbye to Frank before she stepped out of the door. Gerard nodded and stood in the doorway, waving her goodbye as she got into the car and drove off, Bandits wide smile making him smile himself before he turned and made his way into the living room.

Waiting for him was the shell of a man Gerard had once knew. Frank had been diagnosed with depression on and off since his teenage years, and just a few months ago he had called Gerard and told him the disorder was back. Gerard had worried for him, but not too much. Everyone in the band knew the feeling of depression well, and Gerard knew in time Frank would get through, especially with his beautiful wife and kids around him... Apparently though, Gerard had been wrong.

Frank was curled up on the sofa, a cup of coffee nestled in his hands. Lyn had made it for him, talking softly and comfortingly until Frank had managed to still his tears. Now Lyn was gone it was up to Gerard to keep the calm, but he couldn’t help but notice Frank hadn’t had a single sip of his drink.

Gerard sighed as he sat down beside the younger man, looking at him for a long moment before Frank finally turned his head to meet his gaze, his eyes still watering.

“Alright... Talk to me.” Gerard whispered, gently taking one of Frank’s hands in his own and lacing their fingers as Frank took a deep breath and began to talk.

>X<

“Gerard! Hey!” Gerard looked up and smiled as he saw Frank rushing towards him, practically diving on him as he finally managed to break through the crowds and hug his best friend tight. “I’m so glad you made it, I was half convinced you wouldn’t come.”

“As if I’d miss your special day.” Gerard chuckled, his heart aching as he held Frank tight, the scent of his cologne unfamiliar to him. It was different to the one he normally wore, it was probably something fancier for the occasion.

“Pfft, my special day.” Frank scoffed, smirking as he stepped back, keeping his hands on Gerard’s biceps. “Everyone knows it’s the bride’s special day. I’m just another prop.” He said jokingly, laughing with Gerard though the older man’s chuckle wasn’t quite as heartfelt. “Did you enjoy the ceremony?”

“It was beautiful.” Gerard nodded, gazing at Frank and trying to picture him as the married man he was now. It felt strange for Gerard, knowing that Frank was now settling down, about to start a family... even as a married man himself it seemed just too alien.

The ceremony had been gorgeous, but that had been hard on Gerard too. His own wedding had been a quick, simple affair with just a few witnesses backstage before a show. Frank’s had been a traditional Catholic wedding, with everyone from both sides of the family present to watch as Jamia walked down the aisle in a pretty white dress. Gerard had had to leave half way through as the emotion became too much for him but he wouldn’t tell Frank that.

“I can’t believe you’re married.” Gerard sighed, Frank laughing softly and nodding as he gazed around at the many guests socialising around them. He knew he’d have to get back soon and keep accepting the many well wishes.

“I know... It hasn’t sunk in for me either. It feels like we’re gonna be stuck in our honeymoon phase for years.” He laughed, meeting Gerard’s gaze again and instantly wishing he could take his words back at the flash of pain that crossed Gerard’s eyes.

“Yeah...”

“Oh... Gerard I’m sorry, I didn’t think I –”

“It’s fine. God, it’s fine. You have every reason to be happy right now, don’t let me spoil it for you.” Gerard sighed, forcing a smile quick but he couldn’t fake happiness for Frank.

“Are things not getting any better?” Frank asked quietly, his eyes sparkling with sympathy. It felt like only yesterday that he had been sat in the tour bus, sobbing as he screamed at Mikey that he flat out refused to attend Gerard and Lindsay’s ‘wedding’. That he would rather die than see them make that kind of commitment... and now here he was, a married man himself with his heart breaking at the knowledge that Gerard’s marriage was already falling apart.

“I... I dunno. I guess... She seems to think everything’s fine again.” Gerard sighed, struggling to meet Frank’s gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck. Frank looked at him nervously, sensing that Gerard was keeping something from him.

“What is it?” Frank asked softly, taking Gerard’s hands in his and squeezing them softly. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing.” Gerard whimpered, refusing to meet Frank’s gaze. “It’s nothing important.”

“If it’s upsetting you then it’s important.” Frank persisted, Gerard looking timidly at him through his eyelashes.

“It’s not upsetting me...”

“What isn’t?” Frank pushed, Gerard hesitating a moment before he drew his hands out of Frank’s and took a deep breath to steal his courage.

“Frankie I... I... Lyn’s pregnant.”

>X<

“And so I told her that I couldn’t take it anymore and that I wanted a divorce... she hit me, told me to get out and... Here I am.” Frank sighed and leant forward to place his cup of now cold coffee onto the coffee table infront of the couch before he sat back and looked at Gerard sadly. He had been crying a lot as he told the story of his slowly deteriorating marriage, but now it seemed that his tears had all ran out.

Gerard had kept silent as Frank talked about how he had struggled over the past eighteen months to fit into the role of loving father and husband that he so desperately wanted to be. He talked about how if it hadn’t been for his children he would have left a long time ago, but that his devotion to them, and to the desire to get back his lost love for his wife, had forced him to stick things out.

“I was so stupid...” Frank whispered, lowering his head and staring at his hands clasped in his lap. “I thought if I just stayed... If I just kept faking it then things would get better. But all I ended up doing was getting myself depressed, having to go back onto that fucking medication!”

Gerard squeezed Frank’s had quickly, drawing him close and hushing him gently as he pulled him into a hug. He knew that Frank hated his medication, and hated his depression more than anything. He sometimes got angry over it, pissed off that he couldn’t control his own emotions, frustrated that he couldn’t make himself happy.

“Shh... Shh, Frankie it’s not your fault.”

“But it is Gerard.” Frank insisted, burying his face into Gerard’s shoulder and feeling the lump in his throat grow at the familiar, warm scent of Gerard’s cologne mingled with clothes detergent. “I should have seen this coming... I should have stopped it somehow. Fuck, you remember how happy I was when I got married. I thought things were finally working out... I thought I could kill who I really am but I just can’t.”

Frank started sobbing again as Gerard held him, rocking him gently as he squeezed his own eyes shut and shook his head. He knew all too well how Frank felt, it was a feeling that crept up on him often. He managed to live through it for the most part, but moments like now it seemed impossible to push it down.

“Frankie... You should never have to hide who you are. Maybe... Maybe this divorce will be great for you, ya know? You can finally start living like you’ve always wanted to.”

“Can I?” Frank demanded, looking up to meet Gerard’s gaze, his chest heaving as he tried to hold back sobs. “You think I should wait for the divorce to go through and then just go out and get a boyfriend? Hm? You think that’s what I should do Gerard? Tell everyone I’m gay and not give a shit that my kids are gonna grow up in a broken home with a faggot for a dad and a mum with a broken heart!?”

“Frank don’t talk like that.” Gerard gasped, watching as Frank got to his feet and stormed to the window, folding his arms tight. Frank lowered his head and scowled through his tears, his body so tense it hurt, Gerard just watching helplessly from the sofa. “Frankie... It won’t be like that, it –”

“God you’re so full of shit!” Frank interrupted, his voice choked up from the lump in his throat though the venom still came through. “How the fuck would you know Gerard!? You’re so far back in the fucking closet you’re on the other side of Narnia.”

“Come on Frank, that’s not fair.” Gerard whimpered, getting to his feet and feeling his heart race. It was true, and they both knew it, but it still wasn’t fair for Frank to get angry at Gerard just because his marriage was actually doing fine. “If you knew you weren’t gonna be happy then you never should’ve married Jamia.”

Frank whirled round with a look of utter outrage at this, his eyes blazing as he glared at Gerard.

“What?” He hissed, tears streaking down his cheeks. “How can you say that?” He sobbed, the pain in his chest making his body tremble, his limbs feeling as though they could collapse at any moment. “You knew how happy I was. Dammit Gerard, you hated how much I loved her! I could fucking see it, every time she came to see us on tour or I went out on a date, your eyes would be just full of hatred. It fucking killed you seeing me so happy and don’t you even dare try to deny it.”

Gerard kept silent as he gazed at Frank, unable to even open his mouth let alone deny the allegations. They both knew it was true anyway, Gerard would often cry himself to sleep or fly into a rage after being forced to witness Frank’s happy relationship.

“Dammit Gerard, I loved Jamia with all my heart... I... I admit I held back on proposing to her because I hoped we might actually get together. But when you fucking married Lyn I knew we had no chance, so I did the right thing, I proposed to my high school sweetheart and I was happy. I was happy.” Frank began to sob in earnest as he sank to his knees, the enormity of his divorce crushing onto him and making his heart break. It was hard to imagine how happy and in love he had been on his wedding day, it had been easy then to accept the fact he had Gerard would never be a couple.

“Frankie...” Gerard whimpered, approaching him slowly and sinking down to his own knees so they were level again. “Frank please don’t cry...” He breathed, the sight breaking his heart as he timidly reached out to take Frank’s hands.

“Don’t!” Frank hissed, yanking his hands back before Gerard could properly grasp them, his eyes swirling with anger as he looked up through his wet eyelashes to meet the singer’s gaze. “God, I don’t even know why I came here. I just... I had nowhere else to go and –“
”Now you stop it!” Gerard snapped, grabbing Frank by the upper arms and dragging him back onto the couch. “You know I love you Frankie, I’m here for you okay? I want to help.” Gerard sighed and pulled Frank into his lap, hugging him close even as Frank struggled and hit him weakly on the chest.

“Don’t say that... Don’t say you love me, I can’t stand it.” He sobbed, breaking down against Gerard and crying into his neck as he finally gave in and hugged him back. Gerard sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, rocking Frank gently and whispering soothing words into his hair.

“Listen... I know things are hard, but if you want to go through with this divorce then you know me, and all of your friends and family will be there for you. You know you don’t have to feel guilty for just... being honest.” Gerard sighed, Frank nodding weakly against his shoulder.

“Can I stay here a couple days?” He asked quietly, his voice still thick with tears and Gerard exhaled slowly, ashamed of the happiness that coursed through him as he nodded and tenderly kissed Frank’s jaw.

“You stay as long as you want.”

>X<

Gerard managed to smile and chat and fake happiness all the way until the first dance... But as soon as the lights went down and everyone formed around the dance floor to watch Frank and Jamia come together in a loving slow dance Gerard had no choice but to leave the building.

What with his marriage being on thin ice and his emotions being all over the place Gerard just knew he wouldn’t be able to handle the sight of Frank and Jamia, so in love. He could tell that Frank was genuinely happy, and why shouldn’t he be? This was his high school sweetheart, this was the girl he had been talking about marrying for years before now. Gerard knew he should be thrilled for him but deep down it was just breaking his heart.

Was this the reason why Frank never came to his wedding? He had always believed what Mikey had told him – that Frank was staying in the bus because he was sick. But now Gerard wondered whether the truth was a little different.

The wedding reception was being held at a small, sweet location that had been picked for its privacy. The band weren’t such celebrities that they had to worry about paparazzi, but they did know that if any fans had the opportunity to catch a look at the wedding or snap some photos then they would and Frank didn’t want that. None of them really wanted that, they wanted their private lives left just that... private.

Gerard was alone as he strolled away from the building and across the grass that led to a wooden picket fence. On the other side of the fence was a patch of trees and Gerard looked out into the darkness created by the branches as he lit up a cigarette and took a long, much needed drag.

He knew it would be hard coming here, but he had been determined to give Frank the support that he had never received at his own wedding. Now he was starting to regret it though, his eyes stinging as he tried to hold back his tears. The worst thing about it all was that it could have been avoided, Frank had given him plenty of opportunities to create a life together, but Gerard had always shied away from commitment and kept up his relationship with whatever girl he was with at the time, only ever using Frank for sex.

Gerard sighed and loosened his tie, undoing the top button of his white shirt and leaning forward to rest his arms on the fence. He felt like such an idiot. He shouldn’t have come here, it was stupid. He was only hurting himself, and probably Frank too.

“Hey,” Gerard jumped in shock at the soft voice behind him and whirled around to face Frank, his heart soaring into his throat. “What you doing out here all alone?” Frank asked softly, smiling a little as he approached Gerard and stood beside him at the fence.

“Oh I was just having a smoke erm... Aren’t you supposed to be dancing?” Gerard replied softly, glancing at Frank from the corner of his eyes and handing over his cigarette for him to share.

“Mm...” Frank chuckled softly and nodded as he took a drag on the cigarette and blew the smoke into the air. “We finished the first dance, Jam’s dancing with her dad right now so I thought I’d come find you. You skulked outta there pretty fast, I was worried you’d left.”

“Sorry...” Gerard whispered, staring ahead at the trees as he took the cigarette back from Frank and finished it off. “Just really needed a smoke...”

For a moment the two men were silent, standing shoulder to shoulder and gazing out into the trees as they shared another cigarette. Frank closed his eyes and savoured the feeling of the cool night air against his hot skin, the muffled sounds of music coming from the reception hall reminding him he couldn’t be long. But deep down he would have been happy to stand outside with Gerard for hours.

“You know, you look really gorgeous tonight.” Gerard was the first to speak, his words friendly but he was aware that they twisted both men’s hearts. “I haven’t seen you in a suit in ages.”

“Mm...” Frank nodded, crushing the second cigarette against the fence before flicking it into the trees. “You look good too.” He whispered, his tone growing serious. He knew that the words were simply friendly, but between him and Gerard such compliments had to be treated delicately.

“I hope this works out for you Frankie.” Gerard sighed, already feeling anxious for another cigarette but he resisted. He was trying to cut down, but moments like now he could chain smoke whole pockets if he let himself get away with it.

Frank looked at Gerard in slight surprise. He knew Gerard could be blunt sometimes, but it was still a shock for him to say something like that on Frank’s wedding day. He didn’t show any signs of offence though, simply nodded and gently touched Gerard’s hand.

“It will.” He said confidently, smiling warmly at Gerard. “I love Jamia... She’s only the person I want.” He said softly, pretending not to notice how Gerard flinched and tensed beside him.

“You’re sure about that?” He asked quietly, Frank nodding as he gazed intently Gerard, trying to read him.

“Of course.”

“Then why would you have waited this long to marry her? Why would you wait to see if I would be with you first?” Gerard’s words were quiet, spoken gently as if that would make it any easier for Frank to hear, but it was no surprise when the younger man bristled with anger.

“Did you love Lyn when you married her?” Frank demanded, batting Gerard’s questions away with one of his own. Gerard turned to meet his gaze, his eyes sad. He assumed that Frank was expecting him to say no and that he would then use that as proof that his marriage was going to be fine where as Gerard’s wasn’t, but the truth was Gerard had loved Lyn. Part of him still did.

“Yes. Yes I did love her.” He eventually whispered, Frank’s eyes sparkling as he glared at him.

“Then why have you still been fucking me all these years?” He spat, Gerard flinching as if he had just been slapped. His lips parted and he stared at Frank in surprise, Frank’s eyes hard and angry but deep down Gerard could see his sadness.

“I... I just can’t stop myself.” He breathed quietly, a lump rising in his throat. “I told myself once I was married I would stop that but... well it’s not like you pushed me away Frank.” He pointed out, getting defensive. Frank scoffed and turned away from him, folding his arms.

“Well you don’t have to worry about that anymore. I love Jamia and I’m going to be faithful to her. You can try all you like but I will never let you fuck me again.” He said strongly, Gerard wincing and reaching out to touch Frank’s shoulders, turning him back round to face him.

“Frankie I... I wouldn’t try that. I would never try to end your marriage.” He whispered sadly, Frank relaxing a little and reaching up to gently cup Gerard’s face with one hand.

“But that’s the problem isn’t it Gerard? You just can’t help yourself...” For a long moment both men gazed at each other, searching each other’s eyes and seeing all the emotions they had shared in the past. All the pain and anger and reluctant love.

“I’m sorry that your marriage isn’t great at the moment Gee, but it will get better.” Frank whispered softly, certain that now Lyn was pregnant Gerard would work harder at making their relationship work. He knew that Gerard had only ever been a reluctant husband thus far. “Now that I’m married we can both just be happy in our own relationships.”

“It’s not that easy though.” Gerard whimpered, his eyes searching Frank’s as his heart ached. This man had always been there for him, had put all his passion and energy into the band Gerard had breathed life into, had spent nights crying over heart break Gerard caused and yet always allowed him to hurt him again. Frank was beautiful, feisty, adoring... Gerard just wanted to love him.

“Frankie...” Gerard shook his head and slowly lent forward, his heart racing and aching as he touched Frank’s face and drew him closer but Frank turned and walked away before their lips could touch. “Frank?”

“Once you stop chasing me, your marriage will work.” Frank said softly, walking back to the reception without looking back, though it took all his strength to do so.

>X<

“Why’s he late dad?” Bandit looked up at her father with imploring eyes, framed by long, dark lashes. Gerard glanced at her and shrugged, feeling his stomach churn at the eyeliner and mascara his thirteen year old daughter was wearing. He didn’t agree with it, but Lyn argued that she had started experimenting with make up at that age and after a lengthy row in the bedroom Gerard had been forced to allow Bandit to keep the eye makeup. To Gerard it was unnecessary, his daughter was gorgeous without it, but more and more now he was having to admit that Bandit was a teenager now.

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon sweetie, it’s only been ten minutes.” Gerard pointed out quietly, his eyes scanning the parking lot for any sign of the man they were waiting for. Bandit sighed and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, chewing on a wad of bubblegum in her mouth. Another thing Gerard detested but he wasn’t such a grumpy old man that he complained about it... yet.

“Why don’t you call him?” Bandit asked, sitting on the bonnet of the car that Gerard was leaning against.

“He’ll be here in a minute.” Gerard responded somewhat snappily, his mood already awful after arguing with Lyn that morning. They had been arguing a lot really, even on Bandit’s thirteenth birthday when they had both been making a conscious effort to be amicable.

Bandit rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything, understanding that her dad just didn’t want to talk to her right now. She knew he was annoyed that she was wearing makeup but she thought that was just stupid. He didn’t understand, if she didn’t start wearing it she’d never be noticed. She didn’t even care if she got bullied at school, getting picked on for having rock star parents and dressing like them was better than being invisible.

“Is that him?” She suddenly spoke up, pointing at a car that was pulling into a space across the lot. Gerard followed her gaze and sighed, visibly relaxing as he nodded.

“That’s him.”

Bandit slid off the bonnet with a grin and began to run across the parking lot, her eyes sparkling as she saw Frank sliding out of his car and pressing his key fob to lock it. A man appeared out of the passenger’s side, taller than Frank and somewhat younger too. He stretched his arms above his head and arched his body in a seductive fashion, but Frank wasn’t watching him.

“That can’t possibly be little bumble B can it?” Frank gasped, laughing as he walked forward to meet Bandit who squealed his name and charged into him, almost knocking him over as she flung her arms around his neck.

“Uncle Frankie!”

“Heeey baby girl!” Frank laughed, wrapping his arms around Bandit’s tiny waist and spinning her round in a circle as she screamed and laughed. “My God, when did you grow up huh?” Frank gasped as he dropped Bandit down, holding her at arm’s length to get a good look at her. Her dark brown hair was all the way down her back, styled to the latest fashion and her clothes were so revealing Frank felt almost ashamed to look at her. But that’s how all the kids dressed these days.

“Jesus, is that makeup?” Frank demanded, looking at her dark rimmed eyes and Bandit smirked, whacking his arm lightly.

“Yeah it is, and mum and dad have already had a huge fight about it so don’t start lecturing me cos’ you’ll piss my dad off.”

“Language.” Frank warned, no longer looking at the young girl but instead gazing with fluttering heart at her father who was smiling softly as he approached.

“Well, someone’s aging well.” Gerard teased, Frank smirking at him as he released Bandit and closed the gap between them in a few quick strides. “Hi Frankie.” Gerard laughed as Frank flung his arms around him and hugged him tight.

“Hey old man.” Frank smirked, Gerard swatting his back lightly before he buried his face in his neck and held him tightly back. “Mmm... How are you?” Frank asked softly into Gerard’s ear, the feeling of being back in his arms causing his heart to have palpitations in his chest. The band had been on hiatus for four years, and though they had all kept in touch Frank hadn’t seen Gerard since the last tour.

“Exhausted, stressed, miserable... My teenage daughter is giving me my first gray hairs...” Gerard smirked, Frank laughing softly with him and squeezing him extra tight for a moment before pulling back to get a good look at the man he had once believed he would marry.

“Well, it isn’t showing. You still look thirty, how the hell do you do it?” He demanded, smirking as Gerard rolled his eyes fondly.

“I’d ask you the same question. Not a single freakin’ wrinkle on you.” He scoffed, Frank laughing at that and going to inform Gerard he wasnt exactly sporting many lines himself when a hand in his back pocket forced him to remember they weren’t alone.

“Oh! God, I still need to introduce you all.” Frank gasped, moving so that the hand in his pocket moved away and Frank slid his arm around the waist of the man beside him, Bandit coming to stand beside Gerard. “Gee, Bandit, this is my partner Nate. Nate, this is my good friend Gerard and his daughter Bandit.”

Gerard nodded politely at the young man grinning at him, Bandit smiling sweetly and greeting Nate with the enthusiasm of any teenager around a handsome young man. Even a handsome young man who’s gay...

“Nice to meet you guys.” Nate offered sweetly, Gerard trying not to scowl at him and keep his grin fixed in place.

“You too... Man, you don’t even look old enough to be dating Frank.” Gerard laughed jokingly, Frank blushing slightly though he didn’t seem offended as Nate chuckled.

“I’m twenty five.” He purred, his voice sweet but defensive. “Only a fourteen year age gap.” He winked, Frank laughing and shoving him gently, rolling his eyes as they all started to walk towards the restaurant they had met at.

When Frank had called Gerard, asking him if he wanted to meet up since it had been so long since they last talked properly Gerard had jumped at the chance, soon arranging for Frank to come to L.A for a couple weeks where they could catch up properly and spend some real time together. Frank had assumed he’d be staying at Gerard’s place, and had been surprised when Gerard told him he’d have to find a hotel, and that he didn’t really want him having dinner at his place that first night either. Frank had put it down to the fact he was bringing Nate and Gerard didn’t know him enough to want him in his house, plus the fact they hadn’t seen each other in almost five years... but the truth was that Gerard was afraid that if Frank came to his house he’d see how bad his marriage was getting and as soon as Frank found out Gerard knew he’d end up leaving Lyn.

>X<

Gerard was sleeping when Frank crawled into his bunk, the sound of a storm raging outside not enough to wake the singer but when he felt warm arms snaking around his waist he soon began to stir.

Frank held his breath as he tried to be as silent as possible, sliding in beside Gerard on the top bunk and slowly settling down until his head was on his chest. Just as Frank was comfortable and closing his eyes to sleep, long, pale fingers began to stroke through his hair and his eyes fluttered open again.

“Hey...” He whispered, looking up to meet Gerard’s gaze, the older man smiling sleepily at him.

“Hey...” He mewled back, drawing Frank closer and tilting his face up to share a soft kiss. “What you doing up here?”

“I’m sorry I woke you... I had a bad dream...” Frank whispered, lowering his eyes and trying to look suitably sad. The truth was he hadn’t had a bad dream at all, Frank rarely had nightmares, especially when there was a storm outside. He loved storms, as did Gerard, but he just needed an excuse to come into Gerard’s bed. The truth was, sleeping alone was never easy, but it was especially hard when he knew Gerard was just above him.

“Oh sugar...” Gerard sighed, hugging Frank close and gently kissing him again. “You’re safe with me.” He smiled, Frank smiling timidly back and sighing as he leant down to kiss Gerard again, allowing their lips to linger even longer this time.

Gerard smiled against Frank’s lips and wrapped his arms more snugly around his waist, drawing patterns on his naked back as they kissed slowly and lovingly. Gerard often warned Frank that they could never be a couple, but moments like these they both forgot that and it felt as if they had already been dating forever.

God knew they’d been fucking each other long enough.

Frank was the first to break from the kiss, gazing at Gerard with sleep hazed eyes that made the older man’s stomach swirl with warmth.

“Gee... Do you love me?” Frank asked quietly, Gerard blushing deeply at the question but he didn’t turn away like he usually did when Frank brought it up. He kept their gazes locked and gently cupped a hand around Frank’s hip, stroking his thumb along the bone protruding there.

“Do you?” He asked quietly, Frank gazing at him silently for a long moment before he gave a slow nod of his head.

“I’d leave Jamia and be with you in a heartbeat, if that’s what you wanted.” He whispered, Gerard’s heart twisting and splitting apart like goo.

“I don’t want that...” He breathed, moving his hand to take hold of Frank’s and stroke his fingers against the space where a wedding band would one day lie. “I don’t want you to leave her.”

“And I don’t want to keep cheating on her.” Frank whispered defensively, Gerard smiling sadly as he closed his eyes and sighed.

“Then don’t.” He said simply, rolling over onto his side so that he wouldn’t have to face Frank anymore. The younger man stared at him in surprise, his eyes welling with tears and he stared intently at the back of Gerard’s head, willing him to turn around and keep talking but the conversation was over.

Frank sighed and swallowed the lump in his throat. He would never get Gerard to admit he loved him... he would never get him to ask him to be his.

Frank knew he should get out of the bed but he couldn’t. He ached to belong to Gerard and he would allow himself to be hurt like this and even worse again and again if it meant he could have just the smallest time with the older man; so he kept quiet and slowly settled down, slipping his arms around the singer and spooning against him.

Both men pretended to sleep that night, and neither noticed the others tears.

>X<

Frank bit his lip as Gerard joined him at the restaurants bar, pulling out his wallet to pay for the meal as back at the table, Nate and Bandit chatted brightly.

“Don’t worry, I got this.” Frank smiled, glancing at Gerard who was already staring at him.

“Don’t be stupid, you’ve had to drive all this way, the least I can do is get the bill.” Gerard smirked, pushing Frank’s money away when he went to hand it to the waitress who handed him his receipt. Frank sighed and smiled fondly as Gerard passed over some money from his own wallet, even leaving a hefty tip before he faced Frank again, waiting for the waitress to count out the notes.

“So... You and Nate...”

“What about us?” Frank asked, smiling with playful eyes as he gazed at the older man. Gerard was starting to look less like the young rock star Frank remembered and more like the stressed father Gerard claimed to be. He still caused a flutter in Frank’s groin that was hard to ignore though.

“Fifteen years?” Gerard raised his eyebrows in a condescending look, Frank smirking.

“Fourteen.” He corrected, chuckling at Gerard’s look of disdain and he nudged him gently, thanking the waitress once she had cashed in the money and he began to steer Gerard back towards the table. “Don’t look so disappointed in me, everyone deserves a toy boy.” He said playfully, Gerard scowling.

“Is that all he is to you?” He demanded, Frank looking at him in slight surprise.

“Why? You feel sorry for him?” He asked, strolling past tables with the ex-singer. “Nothing wrong with being a toy boy. I was yours for God knows how many years, remember?” He pointed out, smirking at Gerard’s shocked look and chuckling to himself as he moved to their table where the conversation was forced to end.

Frank didn’t want to talk about Nate and he definitely didn’t want to talk about his and Gerard’s past. The band was over for the time being and Gerard was still married. Frank had been divorced for ten years and life was good. He hadn’t come to LA to be haunted by old ghosts, he just wanted a couple of weeks to have a good time and enjoy seeing Gerard again.

>X<

“Ah, fuck! Gerard!” Frank groaned, arching his back and panting harshly as Gerard rocked against his prostate, their bodies linked in the most intimate way. Frank wished it was loving, but it was just carnal lust that had built up and was now spilling over.

“Uunn...” Gerard groaned and bowed his head as he arched over Frank, gripping his hips and pulling him back against him with each thrust. It wasn’t the first time they had had sex and it certainly wasn’t the last. It was the first time on this tour though and Gerard felt the guilt swirling in his stomach as he thought about in just four short weeks he would be marrying Lindsay backstage...

“Oh God... God I wanna see your face...” Frank groaned, his muscles rippling with pleasure as Gerard took him roughly from behind, the sound of his balls slapping against his ass so obscene, but Frank loved it. He loved everything about these situations... except the guilt and inevitable heart ache that came afterwards.

“No.” Gerard panted, shaking his head and feeling sweat drip down his back as he thrust harder, his nails digging into Frank’s skin. “I... No... I can’t...” He gasped, his balls tightening as he felt his orgasm starting to take over him and whatever Frank said next was lost as his climax gripped him and he came hard inside the younger man.

Frank gasped and clutched the bed sheets so tight his knuckles stood out, his face buried in the mattress and his ass high in the air as Gerard pressed into his prostate and moaned his release. Frank moved one hand back to take hold of his own erection and bring himself to climax, almost sobbing when he heard a tiny ‘I love you’ from behind him.

Gerard pulled out of Frank when his clenching muscles became too much for his sensitive dick, Frank cumming against the sheets as Gerard sat back on his knees and ran his hands through his hair. He was aware of what he had said but he was thankful when Frank didn’t bring it up once he had caught his breath back and had rolled onto his back.

The two men gazed at each other for a long moment, neither wanting their discomfort to show. Gerard was wracked with guilt and Frank was fighting the urge to scream at Gerard for being so stupid. For doing this with him when he knew full well he wasn’t going to get with him, that he was going to marry a woman instead.

Gerard gazed at Frank’s shockingly beautiful eyes and slowly shook his head, sliding off the hotel bed and grabbing his clothes. Frank sat up but didn’t say anything as he watched him dress, already knowing Gerard was going to walk out and just roam the streets all night to avoid looking at Frank’s face.

“I’m sorry.” Gerard sighed as he yanked on his boots and walked to the door, leaving the room without another word and slamming the door shut. Frank sighed and drew his knees to his chest, bowing his head as he slumped over his legs.

“I won’t wait up.” He whispered, blinking back tears.

>X<

“Hey, there he is.” Frank smiled sadly as Gerard strolled down the hall into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and summoning up the biggest smile he could muster... but it still fell short.

“You sleep okay?” Frank asked gently, setting a cup of coffee down infront of Gerard as he took a seat at the kitchen table and nodded quietly. “You want something to eat? I’m afraid it’s all vegan stuff but I could run to the store if you wanted –”

“Just toast will be fine.” Gerard cut in, sighing as he slid his mug towards himself and sipped at the drink. Black coffee, one and a half spoons of sugar and cooled so that it was only a little hotter than lukewarm, just how he liked it. Only Frank ever managed to get his coffee perfect.

Frank nodded and squeezed Gerard’s hand before getting up to put some bread into the toaster, taking the butter from the fridge before sliding a piece of paper over to Gerard.

“I printed out an email Brian sent us... everything’s set up for the comeback tour and the new album’s on the shelves as of tomorrow.” Frank smiled hopefully at Gerard, praying that this news would be enough to break him from his misery but the older man only gazed blankly at the piece of paper.

“Do you think if I hadn’t suggested writing the new album My Chem ever would have come off hiatus?” He asked softly, Frank looking at him uncertainly. The question seemed out of place, it didn't seem to have any purpose.

“I think we would have.” He eventually answered, sitting down at the table again and gently touching Gerard’s hand. “We were all dying to get back out on the road again... If you hadn’t suggested it I definitely would have.” He chuckled, Gerard forcing a small smile.

“Do you think this tour is a good idea?” He asked softly, slowly meeting Frank’s gaze. Frank sighed at the sadness swirling in the older man’s eyes and nodded slowly.

“Yeah I do.” He said strongly, lacing his and Gerard’s fingers. “You need to get out there and do what you love again, break you out of this depression. We all need it.” He smiled, Gerard shaking his head.

“But who wants to watch us now Frankie? Music has changed... bands have changed. No one buys records anymore, it’s all downloaded and easily forgotten. And who’s gonna remember us? A bunch of middle aged has beens... I’m forty six Frankie, no one wants to watch me.”

“Hey, don’t you talk like that.” Frank scolded, slapping Gerard’s arm lightly. “Our fans want to watch us Gerard. Fans who have waited almost a decade for this. Music is still alive and so are we. So what if you’re closer to fifty than forty,” He smirked, Gerard frowning at him but a small spark lit up his eyes. “So what if I’m forty two. So we’re all middle aged and our teenage kids hate us, we’re going out there and we’re gonna show them exactly who we are.”

Gerard sighed and smiled softly. It was small, but at last it was finally genuine. He smirked at Frank and shook his head fondly, raising their joined hands to softly nestle his cheek against Frank’s palm.

“Thanks Frankie...” He sighed. He knew the shorter man was right, they still had fans who were eagerly awaiting their return, their new album kicked ass and they weren’t dead yet. “But your kids don’t hate you...”

“And Bandit doesn’t hate you.” Frank smiled, Gerard smiling back though tears filled his eyes.

“I called her last night... she said she hated me then. She said she hopes I die for what I’ve done to Lyn.” He croaked, Frank unable to hide the shock in his face. Bandit was a sixteen year old girl with the spirit of someone much older. She was fiery like her mother, smart like her father but along with that she was also unforgiving and often showed an immaturity her parents despaired at.

“She didn’t mean it Gee.” Frank eventually whispered, gently kissing Gerard’s cheek. “She’s a teenager, you know what they’re like. As soon as Lyn comes to term with the divorce Bandit will too.”

“But you didn’t hear her Frankie... She’ll never forgive me for this. She said I broke Lyn’s heart, she said I deserve to die, she said –”

“She said thing’s she’ll regret.” Frank interrupted, sighing as he moved closer to Gerard and cupped his face, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Gerard I promise you things will get better. You remember how upset I was when I asked Jamia for a divorce, God, I thought then she’d never let me see our kids again but now we’re best friends... You and Lyn have been going bad for years, once she’s over the shock she’ll be grateful for this. Your divorce will end up being more amicable than mine, I bet.” He smiled, Gerard shaking his head but Frank was insistent.

“God, why didn’t I do this when you did?” Gerard finally sighed, Frank raising his eyebrows. “If I’d divorced her all those years ago then Bandit would hardly even remember it. Things would be fine... Just like things are for you now. But now all I’ve done is broke Bandit’s heart just as much as her mother’s...”

“Gerard,” Frank sighed, shaking his head at him. “Trust me, you could have divorced thirteen years ago and it wouldn’t have been any easier than now. Divorces suck man, for everyone involved. Just have faith that it’ll get better okay? Cos’ I promise it will.” He smiled, Gerard looking at him through his lashes for a long moment as he allowed his words to sink in.

Frank grinned when he saw Gerard really considering what he had said, he finally felt as though Gerard was going to be okay and smiled as he went to move back and sort out the toast but Gerard pulled him forward again and crushed their lips together.

Frank gasped into Gerard’s mouth and squeaked in slight shock when Gerard pushed his tongue into his mouth and leant against him so suddenly they both went tumbling to the floor. Frank felt his heart skip a beat and then burst into a frantic drumming as Gerard pulled him to his chest and held him close, kissing him with a fever and passion Frank had only ever felt from him on stage.

“Mmph! Mm... Mmm...” At first Frank tried to resist but then he sank against Gerard, unable to help himself as he got lost in the feeling of Gerard ravishing his mouth. It was a familiar sensation but it had been so long since they had done this that it felt like a dream. How long had it been? Ten years? No... More like fifteen. Just over fifteen years.

Gerard felt as if his heart was about to explode as his chest filled with so many emotions it was too hard to try and distinguish them. All he knew was that he had to kiss Frankie, had to entangle their tongues and remind himself how good it felt to be against his body once again. But all too soon Frank pushed him away.

“No,” He gasped, finally managing to find the strength to shove Gerard away and struggle up onto his feet. “No... No I won’t do this.”

“Frankie?” Gerard got to his own feet with a look of worry, his heart racing. “What’s wrong?”

“I won’t do this.” Frank insisted, stepping backwards away from Gerard and staring at him with wide, slightly horrified eyes. “I won’t be your rebound.” He said firmly, Gerard flinching and feeling his heart twist at that.

“I... You’re not. I... Jesus Frankie I’ve loved you for decades and you think I’d do this just because I’m on the rebound?” He demanded, Frank staring at him in shock. It wasn’t the first time Gerard had said he loved him but it was the first time he had said it so easily and Frank knew then that all the feelings he had for Gerard had never gone away.

“Well... If that really is the case then prove it to me.” He said softly, forcing himself to remain calm and think straight. “Sort out your divorce, get through this come back tour and get through your depression and ask me out properly and I’ll consider it.”

Gerard stared at Frank for a long moment, the two men challenging one another with their eyes before slowly they both smiled. Gerard sighed and chuckled slightly, running a hand through his hair and nodding.

“Alright... Deal.”

>X<

Frank was surprised to see Lyn at the house warming party, but was thrilled that she had come. She seemed happy, smiling and laughing with everyone as she stood with Bandit who was holding hands with a boy Frank had never seen before but assumed was her boyfriend.

The comeback tour had been a huge success, as had the album, and Gerard and Frank had found their old closeness whilst touring. Frank had been a little worried that things would never be the same between them after all they had been through throughout their lives and the time they had spent apart, but on that tour they found that they were still as close and still loved each other just as much as they did twenty years ago.

Gerard had found his feet on the tour and his life had managed to slowly get back on track, the divorce with Lyn finally ending amicably and Bandit sent a long letter apologising to her father and telling him how much she loved him. It was now tucked in the back of a sketchbook of Gerard’s where he would often read it and smile.

Frank hadn’t intended to let his feelings for Gerard grow again but it was impossible to not love him when they performed on stage every night as if they had never stopped, laughing with Mikey and Ray and playing retro video games on the bus. The ‘stage gay’ had started again about halfway through the tour and just didn’t stop, and when Gerard proposed to Frank just four short months of touring later Frank wasn’t even surprised and simply smiled as he said ‘I thought you’d never ask’.

Being engaged to Gerard was everything Frank had dreamt it would be and despite the two men being in their forties they found that they had more sex than ever, unable to keep their hands off each other. When they had moved in together at the end of the tour they were just even worse and Mikey had threatened until their ‘mating season’ was over he wasn’t coming to visit.

Frank smirked as he looked at the youngest Way now, laughing with their friends as they manned the barbeque and Gerard fussed over all their guests, ensuring everyone had drinks. They had finished decorating the house just one week ago and now they were settled they were holding their house warming party which was also going to serve as their formal announcement of their engagement.

As Frank gazed around at everyone and at the lawn he had mown just the day before he wondered how he had found himself here. All the years of heart ache and guilt, of pain and anger and drunken sex... how did they end up so perfectly? Frank supposed the old saying was right... good things come to those who wait, and Frank had waited a hell of a long time for this.

>X<

“Today went well...” Gerard smiled, biting his lip as Frank stood behind him, softly kissing and nipping at his neck. “Don’t you think?”

“Mhmm...” Frank nodded, his hands resting on Gerard’s hips as the older man slowly unbuttoned his shirt. The last guests had left just twenty minutes before, but it was late and the two men were tired. The house warming had been great, but as soon as they had announced their engagement to the applause of their guests Frank had just wanted to get Gerard to bed and make love with him all night.

“It was great that everyone stayed so long, they all seemed to have fun...” Gerard added, smirking as he tried to keep up a normal conversation despite Frank’s obvious advances. “I’m beat now though, I might just get straight to sleep –”

“Oh no you don’t.” Frank growled, smirking as he dragged Gerard backwards towards the bed and spun them round so that when they fell against the sheets he was on top. Gerard laughed softly and smirked at him, sitting up on his elbows and smiling playfully at his fiancé.

“What? You got something else in mind?” He asked innocently, watching with hungry eyes as Frank pulled his shirt over his head to reveal his tattooed torso.

“You know I do.” He smirked, leaning down over Gerard and meeting his lips in a tender kiss. He could feel Gerard smiling against his lips and he smiled back, sinking down so their bodies slotted together as Gerard laid one hand against his cheek and the other on his waist, their lips working softly together.

Frank felt his heart swell and race like it always did when he kissed Gerard, his hands sliding down the older man’s side. He found that as they aged he just grew more attracted to Gerard. Back during the revenge tour when they were having sex the most he could still remember how everything felt, how when he stroked his hands down Gerard’s side he could feel every rib and then his hips bones; but now all he could feel was soft flesh and the gentle curve of Gerard’s waist.

Equally as the two men pulled back to shimmy out of their jeans Frank licked his lips at the sight of Gerard’s pale chest and stomach. He had filled out as he got older, as all men do, and he no longer worried about trying to work out and get pecs or abs. Frank was the same, both men were slim but there was no muscle definition anymore. Frank liked it though, he would always love Gerard’s body.

“Mm... You look like you’re getting moobs Mr. Way.” He teased softly as he leaned down to flick his tongue playfully against one of Gerard’s nipples, Gerard smirking and swatting his ass gently.

“Asshole. I can still fit into the same clothes I did twenty years ago.” He said truthfully, Frank laughing around the rosy nub in his mouth before he suckled gently against it, making Gerard sigh. “Mm...”

“Bitch. Once we’re married I’m fattening you up...” Frank decided, Gerard laughing softly and working his fingers through Frank’s hair as he arched his back slightly, Frank’s gentle sucking on his nipples making him tingle all over.

“Mmph... Just cos’ you’re jealous...” Gerard smirked, though Frank could still fit into the same clothes too. Neither could pull off the skinny jeans anymore, but fashions had changed so that was hardly a problem. Frank smirked and bit Gerard’s nipple playfully before kissing back up to meet his lips.

“You know I think you’re beautiful.” Frank smiled, kissing Gerard delicately as he slid his hands down his torso, feeling over his soft stomach which wasn’t quite flat anymore and gently cupping his hand beneath his balls. Gerard sighed and nodded, opening his legs wider as he kissed Frank for a moment longer before simply resting his hands on Frank’s soft butt.

“I know... And you know you’re gorgeous.” He smiled, the two men kissing again before Frank gently grasped Gerard’s soft cock and began to pump his hand around it. When they had been younger the two men could get achingly hard just from kissing, but now a days it took some stimulation. It was one of the downsides of getting older, but one of the positives was it meant not only were they more experienced, they could last longer too.

Though... neither ever did last particularly long, they brought out the teenager in each other.

“Mm... Frankie, I wanna sixty nine.” Gerard purred, stroking his fingers up Frank’s spine and making the younger man shudder. Frank smirked a little at Gerard’s bluntness and nodded his head, meeting him in a soft kiss first.

“Mm... Anything you want Sugar.” He purred, chuckling with his lover before he slowly positioned himself so he was on top of Gerard with his head pointing down towards his feet.

Both men were only semi-erect as they were taken into the other’s mouth, but both preferred it that way. Gerard raised his hands to rest on Frank’s thighs, opening his mouth and sitting up until the younger man’s semi slid between his lips and he was free to suck to his heart’s content. He loved the feeling of Frank’s cock filling and growing in his mouth, loved to feel the way he made him hard, and he knew Frank was the same as he sucked hungrily around Gerard’s half hard cock.

Frank wrapped his hand around the base of Gerard’s penis as he suckled on the head for a while before he swallowed him down and started to bob his head. He hollowed his cheeks and allowed his teeth to scrape ever so lightly against the shaft as he felt Gerard’s cock pulsing as blood pumped through the veins and filled it to a full erection. His own length was engorging and pulsing as he grew more and more aroused, moaning around Gerard’s shaft as pleasure coursed through him.

The silent bedroom was now filled with wet, sucking noises, both men closing their eyes and concentrating on ignoring their own pleasure and instead just arousing their partner. Lying on his back Gerard found it easier to relax his throat and let Frank thrust his hips down, his erection sliding right into the back of Gerard’s throat but the older man didn’t gag.

Frank groaned around Gerard’s length and sucked harder as a burst of pleasure sparked up his spine, eager to make the older man feel just as good. Between their sucks and slurps both men moaned softly, by now they were both aware of what the other liked most and Frank got busy using one hand to massage Gerard’s testicles and stroke his fingertips teasingly along his perineum, whilst his other hand caressed Gerard’s inner thighs.

Gerard groaned around Frank’s length and sank back into the sheets until the younger man’s cock slipped from his lips with an obscene slurp. Frank shuddered softly above him but didn’t stop in his own ministrations, knowing Gerard well enough to know he wasn’t leaving him unsatisfied.

Gerard sat up a little and used his hands to gently caress and knead the round globes of Frank’s ass, massaging the soft orbs and kissing lovingly all over each cheek as he sighed in delight. He was so in love with Frank, there was no part of him he didn’t adore and he didn’t even think twice before he gently spread the cheeks of Frank’s ass and slid his wet tongue up the cleft down the middle.

Frank had to pull back from Gerard’s erection for a moment so that he could gasp and moan loudly, his body trembling as Gerard began to lick teasingly over the puckered ring of muscle where, frankly, it didn’t belong. It was something that Frank had always felt a little disgusted by, and yet it was his favourite thing for Gerard to do to him. The pleasure it caused was intense and yet somehow still numb, it made Frank’s dick twitch almost violently and he would be sobbing in delight by the end of it, yet it was always elusive... never quite enough.

“Oh God, Gee...” Frank groaned, tensing and then relaxing as Gerard licked and sucked gently around his anus, Frank forcing himself to concentrate and go back to sucking his lover’s erection as his own body went into pleasurable spasms.

Gerard smiled to himself as he felt Frank writhing above him, losing himself to the pleasure that Gerard loved to cause. He pushed his tongue harder against the ring of muscle until it slid past it and he was able to lick inside just the tiniest amount. Frank was moaning and whimpering around his cock and it was sending delightful vibrations through Gerard’s groin, his erection twitching just as much as Frank’s as both men rode through unbearable pleasure.

Gerard kept Frank’s ass spread with his hands, his tongue and mouth doing wicked things that rendered his lover helpless, a finger and then two joining his tongue to prep the younger man for a long while before he was unable to resist anymore and he pulled back, panting softly.

“Get on your back Frankie.” He ordered softly, Frank weakly doing as he was told, already incredibly close. When they had been younger the act of sex itself had always been the most important thing to them. Foreplay was often skipped back then, but now they waited until they were almost at their point of climax before they would slot their bodies together. Sex now was used for that final perfect intimacy, it was used for the feeling of love and closeness that they desired, and that was what made it better than anything they had done twenty years ago.

Gerard pressed his lips to Frank’s neck as he moved above him and used his hands to spread his legs further. Frank planted his feet so that his knees were in the air, his breathing heavy as he squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped his arms around Gerard. His body was used to Gerard’s by now and he felt no pain as the older man slid into him, their hearts hammering with the love that wrapped itself around them like a warm blanket.

Their love making was slow, their limbs entwined as they wrapped around each other and breathed as one. Whenever they could choke out a word or two it was whispered like a secret into the others ear, words of love or encouragement. Gerard filled Frank up just perfectly, the feeling of their bodies linked so intimately, skin on skin, was the only thing they needed.

Gerard’s thrusts were slow and shallow, and when Frank came the clenching of his muscles had Gerard’s spilling into him barely a second later. They held each other through their orgasm’s, rolling their hips and milking their climaxes until they didn’t have a single drop of cum left.

They waited a while, sharing tender kisses, before Frank gave the nod for Gerard to slide out of him. The first second of their bodies being separated always gave Frank a strange sense of grief through his chest, his body feeling empty and shocked before Gerard would wrap his arms around him and pull him close and all would be well again.

Twenty years ago they used to lick the cum away, but now they just awkwardly wiped clean on the sheets and chuckled softly as they curled up together. Twenty years ago they might even have managed another few rounds... but now they just snuggled up together and whispered soft ‘good night’s before falling asleep together.

>X<

“God, this is the worst day of my life.” Gerard groaned, laughing a little to show he didn’t mean it even as he stared in horror at the giant ‘happy 55th birthday!’ banner that was strung across the door that led outside into the garden where his birthday party was being held.

“Ridiculous. Fifty five is a fabulous age and you’re a fabulous person.” Frank laughed, tiptoeing up to kiss Gerard with a cheeky grin. “And besides, you don’t look a day over twenty.” He winked, Gerard smirking at him.

“Now you’re just lying.” He laughed, Bandit giggling as she walked by with Cherry and Lilly, carrying plates of food outside. The guests hadn’t arrived yet but a few people were already milling around, helping finish setting up.

Gerard shook his head as he watched their grown up children chatting outside, Miles stood with Mikey, a beer in hand. Gerard felt positively ancient, but he was in good spirits. He smiled as Frank took his hand and dragged him outside to join the others.

As conversation flowed everyone began complimenting Gerard on how good he looked, Gerard blushing and thanking them. He had had his hair cut and restyled for the occasion, he had considered having it dyed black but Frank had convinced him to stay natural. His dark hair was now beginning to go grey, but he didn’t look old. Even with all the stresses of his life he was so far getting away with just a few laugh lines around his mouth and eyes, and Frank thought it made him incredibly sexy.

“I hope I look as good as you do when I’m your age.” Miles chuckled, Frank grinning as he slid his arms around Gerard’s waist and kissed his cheek. Frank too was aging well, his eyes still as lively as ever, though his faded tattoo’s told the truth of his age.

“Me too. God, what’s your secret?” Mikey laughed, Gerard smirking at him.

“Oh shut up all of y –”

“Sex.” Frank interrupted, Gerard choking on his words and staring at Frank in surprise.

“What?” Mikey laughed, Frank smirking at Gerard.

“That’s your secret. It’s why we both look so good, lots and lots of sex.” He winked, Bandit wrinkling her nose up and laughing as Cherry and Lily ‘eugh’ed in unison. Gerard shook his head fondly and shoved Frank lightly before taking his hand, their matching wedding bands glinting in the sun.

“Alright then, that’s my secret. Sex.” He laughed, the others laughing with him but Frank wasn’t done.

“Ah but not just any sex...” He smiled, looking lovingly at Gerard who blushed and smiled softly. Everyone melted a little and smiled warmly, waiting for Frank to end his sentence with the inevitable ‘making love’.

They should have known better.

“Gay sex. Gay sex is the secret.” Frank beamed, looking ridiculously proud of himself.

R&R