FicWad

Name: Taboo

Author: WriteTheNiteMareAway

Rating: R18+
Warnings: Yaoi (guy on guy sex scenes, for those people who don't know), possibly upsetting or unpleasent themes, depending on your views.
Diclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its character, and so on and so forth...

Taboo
One sizzling heated look and I was a goner. He looked at me with those burning brown eyes and beckoned me to follow him with those hips. And who could deny such a sweet request. One last scorching look before he disappeared behind a door. I quickly followed, opening than quickly closing the door behind me. Before I could react, a warm, hard mouth was upon mine and I was pushed up back against the door. The heat consumed me as I responded wrapping my arms around his smaller frame to bring him closer to me.
Passion and hunger took over as I started to consume the other-worldly being in my arms. It was hard and rough, with only spit as lube, but it was amazing. He reacted to every touch beautifully; I was surprised we weren’t caught. The fire built and built until it was finally realised and all we could do was cling to each other. The next thing we knew we were lying, naked, on the floor in each other’s arms.
Disappointment filled me when he rose out of my arms to get dressed and he started to leave without another word. I followed behind him, also getting dressed. I couldn’t look him in the eye because I had thought this might have been more but it seemed that, at least to him, it hadn’t. And it was because I wasn’t looking at him that I didn’t see him approach and I was not prepared for the pulse racing kiss he gave me before huskily whispering in my ear.
“Now we will be together forever.” He nipped my earlobe before opening the door and walking through it.
It wasn’t until the door was about to close that I finally got my voice back. “Wait! What’s your name?”
“Ichigo Kurosaki.” He said with a beautiful smile and a look that sent shivers down my spine.
Later, after the sound of the door closing reached my ears, there was only one thought in my mind.
Oh hell yeah, I was a goner.
~*~
Grimmjow laughed making Ichigo give him an odd look.
“What?” Ichigo asked cautiously.
“I was just thinking about the time we first met,” Ichigo gave him a cheeky smile which made Grimmjow want to devour him, “The first thing you ever said to me was ‘now we will be together forever’. You know if anyone else had said that to me in the first hour of meeting them, even after such amazing sex, I would have punched them in the face and avoided them after that thinking they were a little nuts.”
“Well it’s lucky that I am not ‘anyone else’,” Ichigo spoke softly, snuggling into the warm body behind him.
“You most certainly are not,” Grimmjow growled, but in a sexual, possessive way.
Ichigo smiled, he liked it when Grimmjow was possessive...most of the time, anyway.
“I was right though, wasn’t I? Together forever.”
“Through thick and thin,” Grimmjow whispered against Ichigo’s upturned mouth before possessing it with a searing kiss as hot and burning as the first time.
They were really getting into it when someone cleared their throats. Ichigo and Grimmjow both jumped and looked behind them. Shinji stood there with a creepy smile on his face. Pervert.
“What do you want?” Ichigo sighed.
“Bell went ten minutes ago,” Shinji said, creepy smile still present.
Ichigo looked down at his watch then swore and stood up.
“You’re such a cock-blocker, Twinkle Toes,” Grimmjow growled at Shinji.
Ichigo ignored the comment and instead grabbed his bag and leant down to give Grimmjow a quick kiss before leaving but Grimmjow grabbed his wrist just as he stood straight again.
“Wait, can’t you stay here with me. You are already late. Why not just wag the whole period,” Grimmjow said looking up at Ichigo with pleading eyes.
Ichigo laughed and bent down again to give Grimmjow a longer, more passionate, kiss.
“We can hang out later. I really need to get to class,” Ichigo said against Grimmjow’s mouth when they parted.
“You’re such a nerd,” Grimmjow replied at Ichigo stood straight again.
“Shut up, dumbass,” Ichigo said smiling both knowing that they were only kidding.
Ichigo walked over to Shinji who was tapping hid foot, pretending to be impatient.
“Come on, you douche bag,” Ichigo growled as he caught up to Shinji.
Shinji pouted, “You two are the most violent, grumpiest people I know but when you’re around each other all you do is smile and act all cutesy. Why can’t you act like that normally?” Shinji whined.
Ichigo punched Shinji in the arm, “Shut up.”
Shinji pouted again and rubbed his arm.
“Well, it’s true.” Shinji just earned himself another punch.
~*~
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Ichigo groaned and rolled over.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Ichigo shot up, quickly getting up and opening the window having realised what the sound was. As he opened the window a spray of rain from the storm outside fell across Ichigo.
“What are you doing? It’s raining outside. You must be soaked,” Ichigo whispered harshly as Grimmjow jumped through his window to land on his bed before stepping onto the floor.
Instead of answering Grimmjow just started stripping until he was naked then climbed into bed with Ichigo. Ichigo was about to complain, he being so cold and wet, but then he got a good look at Grimmjow’s face and quieted, wrapping his arms around Grimmjow trying to comfort him.
“Your dad, again?”
“Yeah,” Grimmjow sounded tired and defeated.
Ichigo moved closer and slowly and gently pressed kisses all over Grimmjow’s face, careful to avoid the bruises. Grimmjow didn’t do anything at first but then he wrapped his arms around Ichigo to bring him closer. From the position that Ichigo was now in he couldn’t move much so he just let Grimmjow hold him, knowing that was what he needed. Anyway, it made Ichigo elated that he was the rock that held Grimmjow down. Grimmjow just laid there for a while breathing in Ichigo’s scent in deeply. Ichigo’s skin started to tingle and, as if Grimmjow could read his mind, Grimmjow flipped him over and started too slowly, but no less passionately, kiss him.
Ichigo melted and wrapped his arms around him, deepening the kiss by opening his mouth. Unlike most of the times they came together this was slow and gentle. Ichigo still felt as though Grimmjow was trying to possess him completely but it was so caring, Ichigo could feel Grimmjow’s love in his slow careful movements. Ichigo started to pant, because even though it was slow and loving he could help but feel an uncontrollable lust towards Grimmjow whenever he touched him.
Grimmjow kissed a trail down his front until he got to Ichigo’s boxes, slowly pulling them off. Ichigo shivered, he could literally feel Grimmjow’s heavy gaze on his most intimate area. Ichigo twisted his top half to open his bed side table. Pulling out a bottle of lube he sat up, Grimmjow also following him and sitting up with a questioning look on his face. But Ichigo didn’t say anything, instead he pushed Grimmjow back gently and straddled his waist.
Ichigo wanted to take care of Grimmjow. He wanted to take care of Grimmjow when he was hurting, for when he hurt, Ichigo also hurt. Grimmjow needed to be taken care of at this moment and Ichigo needed to take care of him. Ichigo bent forward and kissed Grimmjow’s neck. With his hands he opened the bottle of lube and covered his hand before tossing the bottle to the side. As he slowly kissed Grimmjow’s neck, he slowly slipped a finger into himself. A soft moan left his lips as the feeling that he loved to much.
Grimmjow felt like he was burning. Though it was rare, Grimmjow loved when Ichigo did this, when he prepared himself, and it made Grimmjow burn with need. It was not like Ichigo didn’t like doing it; it was because whenever they made love it was usually passionate and rough. No time for foreplay, their need to be together in a physical way consumed them until they couldn’t think. So it was incredibly amazing and pleasing for Grimmjow and Ichigo to take it slow for once.
By the time Ichigo reached Grimmjow’s cock he already had three fingers in himself. He was panting heavily, small moans escaped his mouth as he slowly stretched himself. He purposefully avoided his prostrate, wanting to feel that bliss only when he and Grimmjow were connected.
“Nngh, Ichigo, I can’t take anymore,” Grimmjow whispered huskily. “I have to be inside you.”
Grimmjow sat up, pushing Ichigo back and following him until he loomed above Ichigo, his two hands next to Ichigo’s head. Ichigo wrapt his long, lean legs around Grimmjow’s waist as Grimmjow leaned down and kissed him. Grimmjow grabbed the bottle of lube from the edge of the bed and covered himself in some. Ichigo lifted his hips for Grimmjow and wound his arms around Grimmjow pulling him in closer as Grimmjow lined himself up.
Grimmjow slowly pushed in making both him and Ichigo groan when he was finally seated to the hilt. Then he started to rock his hips. It was slow but felt amazing. The fire slowly building in both of them. Ichigo had his arms wrapped around Grimmjow and was moaning in his ear, face flushed, eyes hooded and wet, swollen lips parted. It wasn’t the usual all consuming fire they felt but a slow course of fire, like molten rock spreading through them until it finally erupted, both Grimmjow and Ichigo calling out their releases.
They both fell back onto the bed, Grimmjow still in Ichigo, still in each other’s arms. Ichigo sighed in pleasure; Grimmjow would be fine, he could already feel Grimmjow getting over what had happened. Then Ichigo laughed a little.
“What is it?” Grimmjow asked softly, wondering why Ichigo was laughing.
“I was just thinking that we were lucky that there is a storm because I am not sure that we wouldn’t have woken my family up with the noise we were making,” Ichigo said with a smile.
“But we were quieter than usual,” Grimmjow said with a small smile himself.
“I know. And that is precisely the reason why I won’t have sex with you when my family is home,” Ichigo said, kissing Grimmjow’s neck.
Grimmjow laughed. Ichigo smiled and listened to the beautiful sound. They would lay here for awhile before Grimmjow would have to go home, so he wouldn’t be caught here. But for now Ichigo was just happy lying with him, listening to the sound of Grimmjow’s heartbeat.
~*~
Ichigo woke up to the sound of swearing and yelling. He was roughly moved when the body he was slightly laying on top of was pulled over him. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked around blurrily, confused at what was happening. When it finally clicked Ichigo stumbled out of bed and towards the commotion over near his door.
Isshin, Ichigo’s father, was roughly pushing and shoving Grimmjow, yelling for him to get out.
“What are you doing?!” Ichigo yelled running over and wrenching Grimmjow’s arm out of Isshin’s grip.
Ichigo pushed Grimmjow back and stood in front of him, slightly bent at the knees in a protective stance.
“Get out of the way Ichigo, that thing has to get out of my house right now!” Isshin yelled. Ichigo had never seen his father like this.
Ichigo was about to retort when Grimmjow cut him off.
“It’s ok Ichigo, I’ll go,” Grimmjow said. Ichigo looked at Grimmjow, half angry, half hurt. “It will be better if I leave. You need to talk to your father anyway and he is too angry at the moment to talk to you properly.” Grimmjow started to go get his clothes but not before bending slightly and whispering in Ichigo’s ear before kissing it, “Thick and thin.”
Ichigo watched as Grimmjow walked passed his father and put his clothes on before leaving his room. Ichigo crossed his arms, furious with the way his father was acting. Nothing was said until they heard the quiet sound of their front door closing.
“Put some clothes on and meet me down stairs,” Isshin said before leaving.
Ichigo had forgotten that he was naked but he was too angry to be embarrassed. He stomped over, grumpily pulled his boxes on and stormed down stairs. Ichigo didn’t understand why Isshin had gotten so angry. Ichigo had never seen Isshin so angry before and at first it had shocked Ichigo into silence before this uncontrollable rage took over. Was Isshin acting this way because he had found him in bed with another guy? Or did it have something to do with Grimmjow? But that was silly because Isshin doesn’t know Grimmjow. Does he?
“What is your problem? I know it must have come as a shock to find me in bed with another guy but that was blowing it way out of proportion!” Ichigo yelled when he reached the kitchen and saw Isshin waiting for him.
“You are to never see that boy again, do you hear me,” Isshin said ignoring what Ichigo said.
“What?! I can do and see who I want!” Ichigo growled, folding his arms across his chest.
“You will never see him again. Do you understand me?” Isshin said each word slowly and for the first time in his life Ichigo was scared of his father.
“No,” Ichigo said simply. He would never give up Grimmjow, not matter who told him too, no matter what happened.
Isshin looked at him incredulously. Then with a sigh he asked wearily, “How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long have you been seeing him?” Isshin growled.
“A year,” Ichigo said proudly.
Isshin groaned and ran his hands over his face.
“Why do you have such a problem with us?” Ichigo said, truly confused at Isshin’s anger.
“You are never to see him again. You are forbidden. If you do not listen to me and I find out that you are still seeing him, he will be visited by the police,” Isshin warned in a soft but menacing tone.
“But he hasn’t done anything wrong! What could he get in trouble for from the police?” Ichigo exclaimed.
Isshin stared at Ichigo for a few moments before answering, “…Who do you think they will be most likely to believe? Me, a good, hardworking doctor, or a teenager that looks like a delinquent?”
Ichigo stared at Isshin in disbelief. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that Isshin would have such a reaction to finding out that Ichigo was in love with a man. He wasn’t even gay, he was bi, but he was in love with Grimmjow and if Grimmjow wanted it, Ichigo would stay with Grimmjow forever. And, yes, Ichigo knew that everyone does not think that they will last, everyone says that high school sweethearts never last but Ichigo was going to make this work because he had never felt anything like this before and he was absolutely positive that he would never feel this again for anyone.
After a few silent minutes of staring at his father, he saw no other option than to nod in agreement. Of course he wasn’t really going to stop seeing Grimmjow but it looked like Isshin was not budging. Isshin nodded, signifying that he had acknowledged the agreement. Ichigo quickly took to the stairs hyper aware of the distrusting stare at his back. Ichigo fell onto his bed depression sinking in because Ichigo knew that he would be watched very carefully from now on. But he didn’t care if they world was trying to separate them he would find a way for them to be together.
~*~
Ichigo and Grimmjow continued to see each other, of course. But it was hard; they didn’t have a lot of opportunities to be together. They couldn’t openly be together at school, not only would people give them a hard time about being together but word would get back to Ichigo’s father and that was exactly what they were trying to avoid. Ichigo had told Grimmjow what his father had said and Grimmjow had looked upset. Grimmjow said that he was sad that Ichigo’s father hadn’t accepted their relationship and now they had to hide it even more than before.
So Grimmjow and Ichigo would steal moments at school to meet up and be together, most of the time it was make out sessions, they had even had sex a few times. The only other times they were together were the rare occasions that Ichigo and Grimmjow went out together. Which was rarer than it sounded. Ichigo was being watched like a hawk, not only from his father but also from all of his father’s friends, which were a lot of people, majority of them freakishly good at being undetectable. And Grimmjow wasn’t allowed out a lot. His father didn’t like him going out.
Both Grimmjow and Ichigo were getting more and more frustrated at their separation. They were getting desperate to see each other more and would do risky things. It was only natural there was going to be a slip up.
~*~
Ichigo chuckled. Grimmjow was usually so graceful but he seemed to be too excited to care.
“You know, you could have just come through the front door, right?” Ichigo said still chuckling to himself as Grimmjow finally landed on the floor with a huff.
“Yeah but what if your father had a neighbour watching or something? I wouldn’t put it past him,” Grimmjow said standing up to slowly step closer to Ichigo
“You right. Thankfully you were actually using that brain in your head today,” Ichigo said stepping closer to Grimmjow.
“Hey, I always use my brain,” Grimmjow replied but he wasn’t upset about the comment, if the husky whisper in Ichigo’s ear was anything to go by.
Ichigo’s father, Isshin, had left with the twins to go on a holiday and Ichigo would be on his own for the week. At least that is what Isshin thinks. Ichigo will actually be accompanied by the boyfriend that Isshin hates so much. Grimmjow and Ichigo couldn’t have been more ecstatic; they had a whole week to themselves.
Ichigo smiled and tilted is head up to meet Grimmjow lips. They had planned to go slowly, carefully, to savour it but as soon as their lips met the familiar fire started to burn through them. Ichigo started to moan into Grimmjow mouth when Grimmjow started to caress his sides. The sound’s Ichigo was making was driving Grimmjow crazy and Grimmjow ripped off Ichigo’s shirt before tossing him onto the bed. Grimmjow wasn’t worried that he had hurt Ichigo or annoyed him by chucking him around so carelessly because he knew Ichigo liked it. He liked the roughness, the heat and the passion. They both did.
Ichigo was panting, the only thought in his head was more. Ichigo pulled at Grimmjow clothing until it was all off. Ichigo released a breath before starting to devour Grimmjow, his beauty was hard to resist and made Ichigo want to lick him all over. He was almost fully consumed by the fire now and didn’t protest when he was flipped around and two, lubed up, fingers pressed at his entrance. In fact Ichigo whined and pressed against them. Grimmjow groaned and shoved his fingers in Ichigo making Ichigo release a sweet, deep throated, moan.
Grimmjow didn’t waste time, after scissoring his fingers a few times he put in another finger. The fit was tight and a little uncomfortable but Ichigo was too consumed in the flames to notice. Grimmjow only had his fingers in Ichigo for barely minute before he couldn’t take it anymore. Between the fire throughout his body and Ichigo whining and begging for Grimmjow to ‘just take me’, Grimmjow couldn’t ignore the need to be connected to Ichigo in a way that they rarely got to do anymore.
Grimmjow rubbed the left over lube over his cock before aligning it. Grimmjow paused to look down at Ichigo and growled at what he saw. Ichigo was laying down his arms above his head, clenching the sheets above him tightly, his head turned to the side his face flushed, wet lips parted as he continuously moaned Grimmjow name and his brown, now dark brown from want, eyes stared up at from through half lidded eyes, looking at him with such passion, need and love that it sent shiver through his spine.
But what really got Grimmjow going was that Ichigo had raised his arse in the air and spread his legs in the most submissive position. It thrilled and humbled Grimmjow at the same time that Ichigo surrender to him in that way. He was touched that Ichigo would surrender to him and he knew that he would never surrender to anyone else in any way.
Put that all together and Grimmjow couldn’t help himself as he roughly thrust into Ichigo.
“Arhhh!” Ichigo cried in pleasure as his prostrate was hit dead on, his hold on the sheets tightening.
Grimmjow groaned, stilled for a few moments before starting to pound into Ichigo, hard and fast. Just the way Ichigo loved it. Ichigo moaned, meeting Grimmjow’s thrusts and twirling his hips. Just the way Grimmjow loved it.
“Ngharhhh, Grimmjow. Grimmjow!” Ichigo cried out, his back arching.
“Ichigo,” Grimmjow groaned against Ichigo's neck.
Ichigo was letting out continues cries of pleasure, barely a pause in between them. Ichigo was burning. He felt like he was burning and all he could think about was ‘more’. It always felt like this when Ichigo and Grimmjow met in this way. It was hot and Ichigo felt like he was melting, he felt like electric was running through him. The feeling was so amazing and out of this world that it was addictive.
Grimmjow watched Ichigo and felt himself get closer to cumming. Ichigo was so beautiful, his eyes rolled back as he twisted and squirmed in pleasure. Orgasm worthy noises leaving his wet, swollen lips and a blush covered his whole body as if he was on fire. It felt like Ichigo was on fire, if the boiling heat around Grimmjow’s cock was any indicator. Grimmjow leant down and bit the back of Ichigo’s neck knowing that was one of Ichigo’s sensitive spots.
Grimmjow almost died when Ichigo started making whining, begging, pleading noises.
Ichigo screamed as he came.
Grimmjow growled and came inside Ichigo as the boiling heat around him tightened even further. Ichigo shuddered, in a good way, when he felt the familiar warmth spread throughout him. Ichigo covered Grimmjow in kisses as he got his breath back. After a few minutes Ichigo got impatient and straddled Grimmjow, whether he was ready or not.
“Already, baby?” Grimmjow said with a rueful grin.
Ichigo smiled a dark, cheeky smile before the heat and passion consumed them again.
~*~
It was many hours later, Grimmjow and Ichigo had only just gotten to sleep, so they didn’t hear the front door opening. Or Ichigo’s name being called out. Nor the footsteps up the stairs. No, they didn’t hear any of that. In fact the first thing that they heard was the sound of a body hitting the wall. Ichigo jumped awake instantaneously and looked around in bewilderment. Isshin had Grimmjow up against the wall and off the floor, his hands around his throat. Grimmjow had taken a second to come to full awareness, but when he did he realised that the loud sound that had woke him up was the sound of him hitting the wall. Funny, he didn’t even feel the impact, nor had it been the thing that woke him.
Ichigo felt his breath rush out of him in a second but in the next second he was jumping up and flying over to Grimmjow and his father. Ichigo was too worried to even think about how Isshin had gotten Grimmjow up against the wall without waking Ichigo up with the effort it would have taken. Ichigo rushed over and pulled at Isshin’s hands.
“What are you doing?!” Ichigo screamed. But Isshin wouldn’t budge. Grimmjow started to go purple. Ichigo withdrew his fist and threw it at Isshin’s face as hard as he could. That seemed to shock Isshin out of his rage. Isshin dropped his hands and took a step back.
Ichigo rushed to Grimmjow and caught him before he could hit the floor. Ichigo cradled Grimmjow head into his chest, chanting his name over and over again. Ichigo gently stroked the side of Grimmjow face as Grimmjow slowly got his breath back. Ichigo completely ignored Isshin as he calmed himself down. Even though Isshin hated Grimmjow he was surprised about what he had done. He was about to kill Grimmjow, he didn’t realise his hate went so deep.
After Grimmjow was breathing properly Ichigo helped him up, still caressing him wherever he could, and trying to comfort Grimmjow. Ichigo walked past Isshin, ignoring him, knowing that he wasn’t going to try and do anything to Grimmjow. After helping him get into clothes, Ichigo walked Grimmjow to the front door.
Ichigo opened the front door, “You should go home. I’ll talk to him,” Ichigo said softly knowing that Grimmjow would know who he was talking about.
Grimmjow just nodded; his throat too sore to be able to speak.
“I’m sorry, so sorry. I didn’t think he would react like that,” Ichigo said stepping closer to rest his head on Grimmjow’s chest.
Grimmjow put his hand under Ichigo’s chin and pulled his head up for a kiss. Everything was said in that kiss. Grimmjow left straight afterward. Ichigo sighed and watched him walk down the street in the early hours of the morning. Ichigo was standing there for a few minutes before he heard steps behind him.
Rage hit Ichigo full force. He spun around, flew at Isshin and gave him all that he had. Isshin grunted in pain and didn’t try to stop the hits. Ichigo was so angry. He couldn’t believed Isshin had almost killed Grimmjow. His love. Dead. Ichigo shivered at the thought. After a few minutes of Ichigo releasing out his anger on Isshin the only thing that could be heard were the sounds of flesh hitting flesh and the grunts of pain from Isshin.
A groan escaped the proud, strong mouth of Isshin. That finally broke through Ichigo’s rage induced state. Ichigo stumbled backwards until he hit the wall, leaning against it for support. Ichigo was panting, exhausted, emotionally and physically from the outburst. Isshin groaned and pulled himself up until he was sitting, leaning against the wall opposite of Ichigo. Neither of them said anything for a long time. Finally Isshin spoke.
“Why did you not listen to me when I told you that you were not to see that boy again?” Isshin’s breath had settled back down awhile ago.
Ichigo hadn’t been looking at Isshin, he couldn’t look at him. But when Isshin had spoken he looked at Isshin in astonishment, ashamed feelings forgotten.
“Why?” Ichigo asked bewildered. Isshin just stared steadily Ichigo people in the eye. “Because you have no right to tell me who I can and can’t be with,” Ichigo answered eventually.
Isshin sighed, he sounded utterly defeated. Ichigo frowned. “So you love him.” It was not a question it was a statement but Ichigo answered it anyway.
“Yes. And I plan to continue loving him no matter who tells me I can’t,” Ichigo said defiantly.
Isshin sighed again and lowered his head into his hands.
“I didn’t want to tell you this but I have no other choice,” Isshin muttered not intending Ichigo to hear but he did.
“Tell me what?” Ichigo asked, confused and a little worried.
“You can never be with Grimmjow-” Isshin started to say but was interrupted.
Ichigo blew up in anger again and started yelling at Isshin and all the ways he could fuck himself. Isshin had to yell at Ichigo to get him to quiet.
“I wasn’t finished!” After Ichigo quieted, Isshin continued, “I wasn’t finished. You can never be with Grimmjow because...” but Isshin faded off, not wanting to continue but he knew he had too.
Ichigo misinterpreted the fade off as Isshin trying to come up with a lie. “Because, what? Because you don’t want me to see a man? Or maybe it is because Grimmjow isn’t good enough for me? Is that it? Does he not come from a good enough family for you?” Ichigo raged.
“Ichigo!” Isshin said in a voice that he rarely used with Ichigo, in fact he had only used one other time. It made Ichigo pause. Isshin continued talking before Ichigo could cut in again. “You can never be with Grimmjow because,” Isshin told a deep breath before he continued, “Because he is your brother.”
Ichigo’s world came to a screeching halt. Brother? Grimmjow was his brother? But then Ichigo realised that Isshin was probably just saying that so that Ichigo wouldn’t see Grimmjow ever again.
“That’s impossible. Stop lying!” Ichigo yelled.
“I’m not lying. No! Listen!” Isshin voice scared Ichigo and it shut him up. “Nine months before you were born, Misaki was out getting some groceries when someone grabbed her. They...they raped her. She was left in bad shape, not only physically but also emotionally. Misaki struggled to deal with what happened to her, and not matter what I did, I couldn’t make it better,” Isshin winced at the memory. He continued.
“But then something happened that made it worse. She found out she was pregnant. And it wasn’t my child. I knew she knew who the person was that raped her but she wouldn’t tell me who. She had always been kind, but it wasn’t until then that I realised just how pure and perfect she was. I urged her to get rid of the child, thinking she would be able to get over the incident better if she didn’t have a daily reminder running around her legs, but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t get rid of you.”
I thought she would hate you, I knew I would, but when a beautiful little boy was born into the world from that evil monster, it blew me away to see the absolute love and affection she had for you. I was even more surprised when I fell in love with you as well. She loved you more than anything in the world and I always had a suspicion that she loved you even more than our two children that followed three years later.”
You see, I think instead of making it harder for her to forget and recover, you made it easier for her to get better. I think she thought of you as the beauty that came out of the ugly. I had no idea who the father was until you were the age of seven. Misaki was having a nightmare. She moaned, it was such a pained moan that it nearly tore me to shreds, his name in her sleep. I finally had the name of the monster that had hurt my beloved. Of course I wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was him so I came up with a plan to get a sample of his DNA and tested your blood with the sample.”
It was 99.9% match. He was your father, and he was the man that had hurt Masaki. I was prepared to kill him, scum like him shouldn’t have been allowed to live. But Masaki had seen the DNA test and stopped me before I could put an end to his life. She made me promise that I wouldn’t do anything to him, claiming that if I was arrested she wouldn’t be able to take care of the children all by herself. She persuaded me and I kept my distance. Of course I couldn’t take the case to the police because all the evidence had been taken and destroyed from my clinic by Masaki not long after it happened.”
I have never stopped hating that man, the man who had hurt my love so deeply. I watched him, in case he wanted to hurt Masaki again but even after the accident I still watched him in case he wanted to hurt my family again. The man was a monster and what made it even worse was that he was married with a child. A little boy, two years older than you.”
Ichigo had sat still as stone has he listened to Isshin’s story, unable to really understand what was happening. But Isshin was not finished and Ichigo dreaded what Isshin was going to say next, having a feeling that what he was going to say was not going to be good.
“And that little boy was called Grimmjow.”
Ichigo’s world fell down around him. Ichigo couldn’t hold himself up any longer, his knees giving out and he sunk to the floor. He stared at the floor but he didn’t really see it. All he could concentrate was the enormous pain that exploded in his chest.
Grimmjow was his brother. He and Grimmjow could never be together. They couldn’t see each other again. Ichigo’s heart gave another unbearable lurch. Ichigo grasped his chest as he gasped for air; it felt like his windpipe was closing up. Like his body rejected the notion of never seeing Grimmjow again and was trying die, to not exist with this terrible pain.
“I just had to grab something, so I will go now. See you in a week,” Isshin said softly. He was about to head to the door but paused. He walked to Ichigo and put a hand on his shoulder but got no reaction. Isshin sighed. “I’m sorry Ichi.” And he really was but he thought it best if he left and let Ichigo deal with it alone.
But Ichigo didn’t hear him, he just sat there staring wide eyed at the floor. Ichigo felt like the breath had been sucked right out of him. He felt like he was suffocating, like he was dying. And Ichigo wanted to die, it hurt too much to know that he and Grimmjow could never be together again. Grimmjow. Just thinking of him had him wailing his name.
Ichigo barely moved that week, the only thing that kept him going was that he knew that he had to break it off with Grimmjow. He had to tell Grimmjow that he didn’t love him anymore. It was the only way that Grimmjow might ever get over him and led a semi normal life. Ichigo knew that if he died and Grimmjow knew that he still loved him he would go crazy with heartbreak and probably kill himself, but if Grimmjow thought that Ichigo didn’t love him anymore, though he would still have an unbearable heartbreak, at least he would have no reason to try and follow Ichigo into the dark obis of death. And Ichigo did plan to die, for he could not live with this knowledge.
So just before he was going to end it all he called Grimmjow.
“Ichi? Are you ok? What did you dad say?” Grimmjow said before Ichigo could say anything. Grimmjow had wanted to call Ichigo earlier but knew that Ichigo would call him when he was ready.
Ichigo didn’t know what to say so he decided to just say it out right, “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
The other end of the line was silent for a few moments, then, “What?”
“I want to break up, I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
It took all of Ichigo’s strength to make sure his voice didn’t waver.
“What? Why are you saying that? Is it something your dad said?” Grimmjow said, sounding distressed.
“No. He just made me realise that I don’t want to be with you anymore,” Ichigo said, forcing the lump in his throat back down.
“T-that’s a lie. You said we would always be together. Why are you saying this now? What happened? Tell me Ichigo,” Grimmjow said, half growling, half pleading.
Ichigo was about to start sobbing, he had to end this now. So he said the only thing that might convince Grimmjow.
“I don’t love you anymore.”
He made sure he said it in an ice cold voice as hard as steel. Then he hung up because he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his resolve. Then the sobs came, heart wrenching, body aching sobs. Sometime later he calmed down enough to start the rest of his plan in to action. He already had the injection beside him. That was the good thing about owning a clinic, he knew how to get to the drugs, not that he needed them before. Ichigo picked up the needle and before he could think of it he shoved it into the crock in his arm.
He felt the uncomfortable sting of the fluid rushing into his blood stream before yanking out the needle and tossing it to the side. He then slowly slid sideways along the wall until he was lying on the ground. Ichigo reached for the picture of Grimmjow he had gotten and placed beside him. As he stared at the beautiful, smiling face of his love he felt the pain begin to dull. The drug was taking affect; he would lose consciousness in two minutes and be dead in five.
Ichigo sighed as images flashed in front of his eyes. So many images. Most of them were of Grimmjow; smiling, frowning, pouting, scowling, smirking. Grimmjow’s face was all he saw as black entered his vision. Not long now he thought. The pain had gone now; he only felt regret that he couldn’t make sure that Grimmjow believed him.
Ichigo was drifting now, his eyes blurring but he still saw Grimmjow’s face, a single image now, though it was blurred. Ichigo gave a small smile as he breathed out two last words that no one would hear.
“Together forever.”
~*~
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Ichigo frowned. What was that annoying noise?
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Ichigo eyes slowly opened determined to stop whatever that noise was. He groaned feeling terrible, like he was just been hit by a bus.
“Ichigo?” a worried voice asked.
Ichigo slowly turned his head to look at the owner of the voice. His eyes fell own a familiar face.
“Dad? What am I-” Ichigo started, confused as to why he was in a hospital but then it all came back.
Ichigo gasped. Pain blossomed in his chest when he realised he wasn’t dead. Why wasn’t he dead? Ichigo let out a sob, even though he tried to retain it.
“Dad? Why aren’t I dead?” Ichigo asked, looking at his dad in anguish.
Isshin groaned and fought the urge to cry himself. “Son. Don’t say that. You don’t want to die.”
Ichigo brought his hands up and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “No, no, no.” Ichigo practically moaned.
Isshin bent over to rest a hand on Ichigo’s shoulder but Ichigo lashed out and slapped his hand away, a look of betrayal and unthinkable pain in his eyes.
~*~
Ichigo had been let out of the hospital a week after he woke up. He was seeing a psychiatrist. And he hadn’t seen or heard from Grimmjow since the night he tried to kill himself. That both relaxed and tore up Ichigo. His whole being ached to see Grimmjow again, to touch him but Ichigo knew that it would be disastrous for both of them. So through sheer will Ichigo managed to stay away from Grimmjow. It killed Ichigo but he did it.
Ichigo still wanted to die but he was being watched like a hawk. So he never had the chance. Everyone was making him face life, a life with that he had no point living because without Grimmjow it was pointless.
It had been a month since his suicide attempt and Ichigo was lying in bed. He lay their concentrating on breathing; the pain was so consuming that was all he could do, to concentrate on breathing. The ball he was in tightened as excruciating pain swept through him. The pain was so great that he didn’t hear the telltale sign of a visitor until it was too late.
Thump.
Ichigo jerked up. A large, dark being loomed over Ichigo...but it was so familiar that Ichigo was not scared. Ichigo’s throat locked when Grimmjow face came into the light of the moon.
“You are a fucking idiot, do you know that?” Grimmjow growled walking towards Ichigo until he was standing right in front of him. Ichigo just swallowed trying to clear his throat. It didn’t work. “Why would you do something stupid? Why would you try and leave me that way?”
Ichigo stared at Grimmjow for a few silent moments before he finally got his voice.
“I...It was a spur of the moment thing. My father had told me how angry he was with me and he thought I was disgusting and I just...I just didn’t really think about it. And I wasn’t trying to leave you. I already told you that I don’t love you anymore and that I don’t want to be with you,” Ichigo lied, unable to look Grimmjow in the eye.
“That’s a load of bullshit and you know it,” Grimmjow growled.
“What? How would you know if it was true or not?” Ichigo growled back at Grimmjow, getting angry at him for being presumptuous.
“I was there when you were dying, I was the one who saved you,” Grimmjow growled.
“Wait-you were the one who found me?” Ichigo asked, all anger draining at the terrible thought. If Grimmjow had been there as he was dying than that meant that it hadn’t been a hallucination and that means that Grimmjow had heard what Ichigo had said to him. So basically Grimmjow knew he was lying, about everything.
“Yes I was there, you-wait, you didn’t know?” Ichigo’s horrified face answered Grimmjow’s question. “I found you, pale and dying on the floor and as I held you, waiting for the paramedics, did you know what you said?” Ichigo shook his head, not because he was unknowledgeable about what he said but because he didn’t want to hear, knowing that it will have undone everything he had done. All his resolve he had built up and knowing that Grimmjow would never let Ichigo go now. “’Together forever’ you said. I know you saw me or you probably think it was a hallucination or something but guess what, it wasn’t. So don’t give me that bullshit about not loving me. Now tell me the real reason why you tried to kill yourself. I know it had something to do with the reason why you told me that you didn’t love me anymore.”
Ichigo started to shake his head, a whimper escaped his throat. He stumbled backwards until he hit a wall. Then he started to sob out a chant of ‘no’. Ichigo couldn’t bring this pain, this suffering, this abhorred knowledge to someone he loved so dearly. Grimmjow frowned, surprised at Ichigo's intense reaction and worried about Ichigo.
“Come on Ichigo, tell me. I don’t care what it is, I will always love you. You should know that,” Grimmjow said carefully walking closer to chigo to place a hand on his shoulder. Ichigo flinched.
“No, no, no,” Ichigo whimpered. “We can’t be together anymore.” Ichigo said still furiously shaking his head.
“Why not?” Grimmjow asked quietly.
Ichigo just shook his head. He couldn’t tell Grimmjow.
“Tell me,” Grimmjow growled, roughly grabbing Ichigo’s arms.
“I can’t” Ichigo whined.
Grimmjow stared hard at Ichigo but he didn’t crack. After a few silent minutes Grimmjow growled and released Ichigo. Grimmjow reached into his pocket and pulled out a Swiss army knife.
“You tell me the reason or I will cut my throat,” Grimmjow said, deadly serious.
“What? Why would you do that?” Ichigo asked, scared and bewildered at Grimmjow’s seriousness.
“There is no point living if I can’t be with you and you are being stubborn to tell me the reason we can’t be together so, well, I just don’t feel like living anymore,” Grimmjow said raising the knife to his neck.
“Wait! You can’t do this,” Ichigo exclaimed.
“What? Are you the only one allowed the try and kill themselves?” Grimmjow said harshly.
“No wait!” Ichigo cried out, Grimmjow paused at what he was doing.
“Are you going to tell me?” Grimmjow asked slightly lowering the scissors.
“I...I don’t know if I can. It not something that you can change or make better,” Ichigo said giving up, knowing that he was going to have to tell Grimmjow.
“Just tell me, I can handle it,” Grimmjow said.
Ichigo sighed and slowly walked over to his bed and sat down. Ichigo motioned for Grimmjow to join him. Grimmjow walked over to Ichigo and sat down beside him but not before placing the knife back in his pocket. Ichigo was glad that Grimmjow wasn’t trying to kill himself anymore. They sat in silence as Ichigo decided on how to tell him.
“Tell me,” Grimmjow softly said, gently caressing his face.
“I...I don’t know how,” Ichigo said quietly.
“Just tell me,” Grimmjow said.
Ichigo sighed. Well here it goes. “We can’t be together anymore because...because we are brothers.”
Ichigo watched as Grimmjow just stared at him. Then Grimmjow flinched back.
“What?” Grimmjow said, looking extremely confused.
Ichigo didn’t say anything but he felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he watched Grimmjow come to grip with what he said.
“You’re lying, aren’t you? Tell me you are lying,” Grimmjow practically pleaded.
Ichigo didn’t look way from Grimmjow’s painful gaze but he didn’t reply.
“Tell me!” Grimmjow yelled, panicking.
Ichigo still didn’t say anything but he knew he didn’t have to. Grimmjow groaned and rock forward like he had been hit in the stomach. Grimmjow sat back up and looked Ichigo in the eye. Ichigo let out a sob at the anguish in Grimmjow’s eyes.
“Wha-how-what do I-how can this-I just- why-” Grimmjow stuttered unable to form a proper sentence.
Grimmjow whole face had twisted into a mask of anguish and Ichigo knew his face was the exactly the same. Grimmjow looked around, looking very lost, a few more times before looking back at Ichigo. Grimmjow moaned Ichigo’s name and cradled the side of Ichigo’s face in his palm. Ichigo placed his hand over Grimmjow’s and let out a sob. Both Grimmjow and Ichigo were crying now, tears streaming down their faces.
It was not fair! To have finally found something so beautiful suddenly ripped out of their arms. They could never be together...couldn’t they?
And even though they knew it was wrong Grimmjow and Ichigo both leaned in, their lips bare millimetres away. They hesitated, they could feel the others hot breath against their lips. Then Ichigo said something before he even realised that he wanted to speak at all and it blew all hesitation out of the window.
“Together forever.”
Grimmjow let out another sob, from both sadness and happiness, but replied, “Through thick and thin.”
And then they were attacking each other. Hands were everywhere, it felt like Grimmjow’s hands were everywhere on his body and it was turning Ichigo into mush. They knew what they were doing was wrong but they didn’t care. They loved each other and were not going to let anything get in their way. Ichigo returned Grimmjow’s kiss with just as much fever. It was hot and passionate but it was also tinge with sadness. It was beautiful.
Ichigo was already gasping for breath and he still had all his clothes on. Grimmjow seemed to have come to that realisation at that very moment because he took upon himself to divest Ichigo of all his clothing. They didn’t waste a lot of time with foreplay, Grimmjow roughly pushing Ichigo on to his hands and knees and began to prepare him.
When Ichigo felt the tongue on his rear he felt like he was going to burst. And when Grimmjow added two lubed up finger to the mix, Ichigo couldn’t hold back the moans, though he tried to stifle them in his pillow. He didn’t get much preparing, not that he really needed it. Ichigo was almost too tight when Grimmjow entered him.
Which he just did.
Ichigo arched back, crying out. Grimmjow wrapped an arm around Ichigo and pulled him up so that Ichigo had his back pressed up against Grimmjow's chest, his thighs on either side of Grimmjow’s as wide as they could be. Ichigo quickly attached his hands to Grimmjow, one to the back of his head the other to one of Grimmjow’s thigh. Grimmjow couldn’t stop caressing Ichigo’s whole body while he rocked up into Ichigo.
They started to make love, slowly, lovingly and passionately.
“G-Grimmjow,” Ichigo gasped out, turning his head to the side.
“Ichigo,” Grimmjow groaned out.
Grimmjow leaned in and took Ichigo’s mouth in a fierce kiss. They could both taste the saltiness of their tears that had started to run down their faces again. Ichigo had never felt like this before. The confusing rush of extreme emotions was tearing him apart. To be experiencing the physical and emotional pleasure of being joined to the person you loved, and the love and joy that he felt just being around Grimmjow, and the sorrow and despair he felt because of their impossible situation, was so overwhelming that Ichigo thought he might just die. And Ichigo knew that Grimmjow felt exactly the same way.
It felt like both hours and only a few moments later when they both reached that pinnacle of pleasure, clinging to each other as their body’s convulsed. They fell back onto the bed, still clinging to each other, Grimmjow still inside Ichigo. They fell asleep like that moments later.
~*~
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
Ichigo sighed, content.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
Ichigo ran his hand over the warm, hard chest underneath his head.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
Ichigo gently nuzzled the chest, lightly kissing it.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
The chest beneath him moved but Ichigo held it in place.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
“Mmm, Ichigo, what are you doing?” a beautiful voice asked him softly when he wouldn’t let the chest underneath him move out from underneath him.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
“Listening,” Ichigo whispered.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
“To what?” Grimmjow asked softly.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
“Your heart,” Ichigo said equally as soft.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
“Why?” Grimmjow asked, his lids lowering.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
“Because it reminds me that you are real, that you are mine. It’s soft but strong, like you, and I love the consistency of it, the consistency of your love,” Ichigo finally said.
Bu-bump. Bu-bump. Bu-bump.
Grimmjow felt his breath leave him as his heart clenched. Only him. Only Ichigo could make him feel this way. Only Ichigo could make him love him so much that it felt like his heart was going to shatter. Only he could say things that left him speechless, and made him want to consume him whole so they would ever be apart. And it was only him that could ever make him happy. He was the only one that could take all the pain away from just being in his presence. It didn’t matter that their relationship was taboo, in more ways than one, because there would be nothing left of either of them if they were separated. Ichigo was the only one he loved and would ever love like this. Of that, he was sure.
As if reading his mind, Ichigo murmured, holding onto Grimmjow never planning to let go, not that Grimmjow ever wanted him to;
“Together Forever.”
“Through thick and thin.”
The End

AN: Sooooo...how was it? I was a bit nervous putting this out. It is not read by anyone else and I know that I am not that great at editing my own stories. I was mostly worried that I didn't develop the story and the characters properly, it is my usual down fall in stories, I always rush them. I hope they weren't to OOC, I tired to show that they were only like that together and their usual selves around everyone else with the whole Shinji bit, I hope it succeeded. ^^
Sorry I didn't say about the incest theme, I didn't want to give anything away ^^
Thank you for reading!