FicWad

(Sorry about the long delay; I‘m getting back in to the swing of things. This is just a short filler to keep things moving. I hope to post again soon.)



**



“Are you comfortable?” I snuck up on Madeline, making her jump. She was cuddled up on the couch, underneath my black comforter. She looked so small and fragile, curled up and waiting for /me/.

“I am. Is the popcorn cold? You took a long time.”

I rolled my eyes and handed her the bag of popcorn. “It’s fresh. Ryan made me start over because the first bag got cold.”

“I love Ryan.” Madeline commented as she opened the bag.

I sat beside her, “More than you love me?”

“Um, awkward.” Madeline sighed audibly. “I don’t really actually love either of you but I mean, it’s really nice that you love me.” Her cheeks were growing red with each passing second. “It was a figure of speech. I don’t really love Ryan… I’m just appreciative that he appreciates the importance of hot popcorn.”

“He remembered drinks too.” I handed her the Pepsi, as I set my own on the coffee table in front of us. “He’s done the whole human thing before.” I let her love comment go, knowing how difficult love was when you were a mortal. Everything was different; when you had forever… things changed, dramatically. Time no longer held meaning. It didn’t for me anyway. It hadn’t for a very long time.

“Well, I know he used to be a human but you were too…” Madeline opened her Pepsi and took a drink. “Thank you, by the way.”

I just nodded, “I meant that he’s dated a human girl before.”

“When he was human?”

“No, it was after he was turned. Her name was Alexis. She was a nice girl and Ryan dated her for… Hmm, I think they dated for at least a year.”

“Oh.” Madeline frowned, “He told me that the last time he was with a human was when he was a human.”

“It’s a touchy subject for him.” I informed her as I glanced at the television screen, “Did you pick out a movie?”

Madeline let the subject go without any questions, much to my surprise. “I know we were thinking more along the lines of romantic comedy but I saw ‘I am Legend’ and I’ve really wanted to watch that movie for a while… So I was wondering, can we watch that instead?”

“I told you that it was completely up to you.” I answered, with a grin. “That’s a good movie choice too, so why the hell would I complain?”

Madeline smiled, “Oh… Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.” I waited for her question, hoping it didn’t have anything to do with Ryan’s romance. I’d already said too much. That was his business, not mine.

“Since you’re dead… does your, uh… Damn, just nevermind.” Madeline’s entire face was bright red and she refused to make eye contact with me.

“No, does my what?” I wanted to know what she was getting at.

“Well, since you’re dead how exactly do you, you know?”

“No… I don’t know. What are you asking me?”

“Does your dick work?” Madeline’s face went brighter as the ‘dirty’ word slipped from between her lips and I was left incredibly insulted.

“My…” I trailed off intentionally as I frowned, “I have a fully functional penis.” I finally spit out. Why did everyone have to sexually pick on me today?

“Oh.” Madeline couldn’t look at me.

“Would you like me to prove it?” I teased, after getting over the initial defensive emotion that had spread through me at the insinuation that my sexual abilities were limited.

Madeline started choking on air and I had to pat her back as gently as I could manage to get her to start breathing properly once again, “You could just say no, there really is no need for you to kill yourself instead.”

Madeline glared at me, “I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I just breathed wrong.”

“You breathed wrong?” I couldn’t help but laugh at her, “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“For a guy that wants to get in my pants you like to make fun of me a lot.” Madeline pointed out.

“You’re the one that was picking on my penis.” I suddenly laughed as she once again blushed bright red, “I can’t even say that word without your entire face turning red.”

“I just don’t use it very often.” Madeline mumbled, obviously embarrassed.

“Well, we could nickname it if you wanted.” I teased. “What about the monster? I kind of like that.”

“If you like the idea of keeping your pants on for the rest of your life then that is what we can call it.” Madeline replied.

“What is with everyone thinking that I’ll never have sex again in my lifetime? That kind of hurts.” I clutched my chest as if I’d been shot.

“Well, a guy that nicknames his penis isn’t really known to get a lot of action…” Madeline giggled. “And really, the Monster?”

“You know, girls are known to like sex as well. So, what about you?”

“What about me? I don’t nickname my lady parts.”

“Lady parts? Classy.” I laughed. Who wouldn’t laugh at that?

“Thank you.” Madeline kept her tone serious, and her face straight.

Then she pressed the start button and my sexual inquiries were drowned out by the sound of Will Smith being awesome. Plus, I kind of had a short attention span…

I couldn’t really remember what we’d been talking about anymore.

Oh well.