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Disclaimer.
J.K Rowling went out one day so I took her characters out to play.
We ran around, they laughed with glee,
All this fun and she works for free!


The first day of classes was upon her. Phaelan went for a run in the early sunlight, to work off her nervous energy. As she approached the Quidditch pitch, she heard Hooch calling out instructions. Walking through the gate, Phaelan was almost trampled by a pack of students, wearing assorted ideas of exercise clothing, running.

"Come on, come on, keep up. You've all gone to seed over the summer. If you plan to make your house teams this year, you'd better get in shape, fast. Oh! Good morning, Professor McKenzie."

"Good morning, Madam Hooch; lovely day for a run, "greeted Phaelan. "Your team candidates?" asked Phaelan, with a jerk of her head.

"Yes, I try to get everyone out for some exercise, before the weather turns. Come along, Miss Weasley, keep up," she called out. "They all get lazy over the summer and come back like great lumps."

"Well, good luck," said Phaelan, as she began her stretches.

Across the field, the male members of the Quidditch teams noticed their newest teacher stretching in various poses.

"What do you make of that?" asked Michael Corner from Ravenclaw, as he jogged beside Ron and Harry.

"Don't know mate, she's American," replied Ron, as if that answered the question.

Phaelan began to run slowly at first and then picked up her rhythm. She preferred to run listening to music, but her walkman wouldn't work here. As she paced herself, she gradually caught up to the pack of students. As she passed them, she called out, "Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen."

"Bloody hell, Draco!" exclaimed Goyle, as he huffed and puffed to keep up. "Did you see that?"

"Yeah, nice arse," answered Draco, with a sneer. "Watch." He increased his pace and left the pack of runners.

"Oi, Harry, did you see?" asked Ron of his running mate.

"Yeah, let's go. He won't beat us," answered Harry, picking up his pace to catch Draco.

Suddenly, by ones and twos, the male members of the runners began to speed up. As Phaelan made her turn at the top of the field, she looked back and noticed the boys trying to catch her. Laughing to herself, she changed her inner clock to a faster tempo and pulled away. She lapped the running pack once more and kept going. Harry and Ron had caught up with Draco and the threesome was hard pressed to keep up a pace to put them within reach of the teacher.

"Who is she?" gasped Draco, when he saw Ron and Harry.

"She's an American, that's all we know," Harry panted. Ron's face was beginning to match the colour of his hair.

Once more around, thought Phaelan, as the fastest were starting to slowly gain. Again, she made a mental adjustment and increased her pace, as she passed Hooch, who stood mouth agape watching the event. Feeling the adrenalin high kick in, Phaelan coasted comfortably around the field one last, fast time. The last of the running pack had quit and sat to the side, watching the Alpha males of Hogwarts trying to prove themselves against a Muggle woman.

Coming round the final corner almost half a field in front of her pursuers, Phaelan slowed to a jog for the last two hundred feet and finally to a walk.

"Excellent run, Madam Hooch," Phaelan offered, as she stopped in front of the Flying Mistress, only slightly out of breath. As she waited for the others, Phaelan began the cool down stretches.

Draco, Harry and Ron came in together gasping, bent double. Ron fell on his back at the same time as Harry went on his knees. Draco sat, his head between his bent knees, panting, not at all aristocratic or proud. Phaelan straightened up and picked up the small towel she had brought and wiped her face before walking over to the boys on the ground.

"Not bad, gentlemen, but terribly unplanned on your part." Phaelan threw the towel over her shoulder. Leaning over, she sniffed the air coming from their direction. "Make sure you shower well. I don't want you stinking up my classroom on my first day of teaching. I just got the place cleaned up." Turning her back, she strode back to the castle.

Hooch had watched from the side and now came forward to look at all the bodies strewn around the grass. Shaking her head, she made only one comment, "Pathetic."

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Entering the Great hall for breakfast, Phaelan looked nothing like the previous evening. This morning her black teaching robes were open in the front to display a royal blue turtle neck sweater and grey dress pants. As she strode to the front, Phaelan read her full class schedule for the week. The students were receiving their timetables as she passed

"We have Muggle studies first thing," exclaimed Hermione, totally unaware of what had transpired on the Quidditch pitch. "I wonder what her new idea's are?"

"She plans to drill us all into exhaustion," offered Ron, only to be kicked under the table by Harry.

At the head table, Snape watched Phaelan's entrance with a scowl. As she took a seat beside him, he sighed heavily.

"Yes, Professor Snape, you have something to say?" opened Phaelan. She had become familiar with his moods over the summer.

"Your robes are open, showing your Muggle clothes. Do you deem it necessary to flagrantly display your roots?"

"Why, Professor Snape, I hadn't thought you would notice, considering I am a Muggle teaching Muggle studies, hence the clothes." Phaelan refused to rebut Severus.

"You have your day planned, I gather?" asked Snape.

"Obviously, and the other meeting tonight," she replied. Reaching into a pocket in her robes, Phaelan pulled out a large plastic hairclip and casually gathered her hair into a twist, fastened at the back of her head.

"Do you plan to divide the group up tonight?" wondered Severus.

"No, I think we need to see the group dynamic. We need to divulge the purpose of our mission, and see their reactions. The obvious leaders don't always become apparent, until they're tested," Phaelan observed

"And you have experienced this first hand, of course?" asked Snape, as his gazed passed over the gathered students in long practised habit.

"Damn right, I have. I've seen bravado melt faster than ice in a furnace, in combat. I'll get it out of them. Don't worry," Phaelan rebuked the dark man. "Of course, just having you there should scare the shit out of half of them anyways."

"I'll call for you at 7:30," Snape said, as he rose. He sighed deeply. At Phaelan's questioning eyebrow, he answered, "First year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw; one side breaking down in tears if I look at them sternly; the other asking 'Why', when I pause for a breath."

"Yeah, I've noticed you have that affect on people," smiled Phaelan, as he scowled at her.

Walking past the Gryffindor table, he managed to trip over Hermione's book bag, quite convincingly and turned to hiss at her, "Miss Granger, I will see you outside the Great Hall now."

Looking back at her friends, Hermione rose, lifting the offending bag, to follow him.

"Professor, I'm very sorry, but I was sure the bag was well under the table," she began in annoyance.

"Be silent girl, I'm not interested in your petulance or your bag." Snape looked around and pulled her away from the doors.

In a tone barely above a whisper, Snape asked, "Does your eclectic little group of miscreants still use the charmed coin as a summons?"

"Um, yes sir. Why?" Hermione wondered, confused at his question.

"Call a meeting this evening, 7:45, in the Room of Requirement. Make sure everyone knows." He nodded and turned to leave.

"But sir, why?" asked Hermione to his retreating back.

"Because," was his reply, thrown over his shoulder.

"Well that was mature," Hermione commented to the air, as she stood with her hands on her hips. Harry and Ron joined her at that moment and she pulled them along. "Come on, let's go to Myrtles bathroom. I have to activate the charm."

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Lavender Brown headed down a hallway, to a classroom no one had ever been in before, with Padma and Parvati Patil. "They moved the Muggle studies class this year." Lavender commented, "I wonder why?"

"Who knows?" answered Parvati. "Did you see the jumper Professor McKenzie was wearing this morning? It looks like Paris couture. I bet she's got a fantastic wardrobe with her figure."

"Yeah, I noticed her tits this morning as well," said Malfoy, with a sneer, "When did you turn dyke, Parvati?" Malfoy passed the girls on his way to class, with his bookend bullies, sniggering in stereo at his great wit.

"Shut it, Malfoy, before I hex a broomstick up your arse," Padma came to her sister's defence, only to cause more laughter in the ranks of Slytherin.

"Come now, ladies," said Phaelan, "That is hardly the way to deal with low-brow, gutter class humour from boys of his ilk."

Phaelan stepped out of the shadows of a statue to meet her students. "Witticisms, fashioned to amuse the less than intellectually endowed, are hardly worth your notice. Let the words entertain those who would listen, and brush off the dust caused by the draft from their hot air.

The reaction of the girls around her caused Malfoy to blush in indignation. Even the girls in Slytherin were laughing behind their hands.

"What'd she say Draco?" whispered his friend to the left, bewildered at the giggling girls.

Malfoy, who looked increasingly ill snapped "Shut it, Crabbe," over his shoulder.

"Every one here?" asked Phaelan, of the gathered upper sixth students. "Good. Welcome to the new Muggle Studies classroom. Professor Dumbledore was correct, when he said I prefer to call it Modern History and Social studies. I have taken into consideration your Ministry's requirements in this class and expanded it. I hope you will find it stimulating and inspiring. I will settle for you being awake during class, however."

The young adults in front of her laughed.

"I hope we can have a fair bit of humour in this class, I am not after all, Professor Snape."

"Cheers, Professor," Interjected Seamus Finnegan.

Ignoring his comment, Phaelan continued, "But, we will observe the decorum and courtesy I expect from young adults, or we will resort to the usual disciplinary methods. Now, welcome to my world."

At that, Phaelan opened the door to let the students enter. As they walked in, the purebloods looked around in confusion, reaching out to touch the furniture, touch the displays on the walls and looking up at the light source. Suddenly, the Muggle born students and the Half-blooded among, them who had attended Muggle School, began to applaud and cheer.

"Brilliant professor, absolutely brilliant," said Hermione, laughing.

"What is this?" asked a gob smacked Ron, as he looked around the room.

A grinning Harry called out for all to hear. "This is an amazingly, great Muggle classroom. It looks like it belongs in a twentieth century school. It's great. Wow."

The students beheld lights, made to look like modern fluorescent strips, desks, transformed to appear to have white melamine tops. Maps, of the modern world and of the United Kingdom, adorned the walls along with pictures of cars, planes, telephones computers...every modern convenience a Muggle took for granted. A white board and blackboard, side by side, along with an overhead projector, transformed from an ancient version she'd found in another class, rounded out the environment.

"All right, all right, everyone take a seat. Don't worry, Mr Goyle; we made sure the chairs were reinforced."

"This is disgusting. A place like this has no business being in Hogwarts," Draco snarled, "If my father saw this..."

"Yes, Mr Malfoy, if your father saw this, what? He'd take you out of school? Withdraw funding?" Phaelan walked over to where the blond sat and leaned on his desk.

"Well, Mr Malfoy, here's your chance. You run and tell daddy, how your delicate senses have been abused in my class and how you can't bear to sit in it. I'll walk over to my marking book and place a big fat nil against every assignment. We'll call it equal." Phaelan turned her back on him. "Oh yes, your career goal, what was it? To work in the Ministry, like your daddy. Having second thoughts, Mr. Malfoy?" Phaelan asked as she removed the teachers robe and leaned on her desk.

"Yes, I thought as much. You won't go far above mopping the floors without my class, will you Mr. Malfoy." Phaelan looked at him one last time, as he silently seethed at her assessment.

"Alright then. First, everyone take out your Ministry approved text books and hold them up for me to see." Phaelan waited till everyone complied.

"Excellent! Now make sure you read this book cover to cover, thoroughly. There are ministry tests and exams to be written based on its contents. I won't accept anything but the highest results from you and I will give you practise exams ahead of time." Phaelan walked behind her desk and pulled out a pile of Muggle magazines and newspapers.

"Now, put that book in your bags and don't bring it out in my presence, unless I specifically tell you to." Holding up the media she had ordered, through the Bookstore on Diagon Alley to be delivered on a regular basis, Phaelan began handing it out.

"This, ladies and gentlemen, will be your text book this year. Reality! Hard, cruel, funny, ridiculous, provocative, repulsive, beautiful and terrifying; all of these things; but most of all, true." Looking at their faces, she saw a myriad of feelings.

Disdain from Malfoy, joy from Hermione, fear from Longbottom and determination from Harry.
Many were confused and a couple of the girls looked awestruck.

"We will talk and debate, we will find out who you are. Not just Witches and Wizards; citizens of a great country with an amazing legacy. There are things you've learned about the History of the Wizarding world that are directly connected to Muggles."

"And that means to me?" Draco blurted out. "What difference does it make that I was born in England? I can be in any country I want, if I choose to. Why should I care about the pathetic lives of Muggles? They're just another predator to study."

"Do you know anything about the study of Ecology, Mr Malfoy? If you want to talk about the interactions of nature and environment, I suggest you study more on the nature of how your magic is sustained." Phaelan walked to the side of the class where a Bohr diagram was on display.

"Nascent energy, synergy, entropy; do you know the meaning of the words, Mr Malfoy? Have you considered what would happen if all the Muggles in the world would disappear?" she let her questions hang in the air.

"Everything in nature, is there for a reason. No thing and No one is beneath our regard. When we relegate another living creature to less than precious, we doom ourselves because a missing link in the chain of life can bring it grinding to a halt.

Turning back to Draco, Phaelan looked him squarely in the eye. "What does all this mean to you, Mr. Malfoy? It means you've earned yourself two nights detention with Mr. Filch, for your rude and unwelcome interuptions."