FicWad

Absolutely nothing could match a pain so potent and fresh in my heart. He's gone and I can't know for sure if he's coming back; I've really fucked up. The reason he fled is because we'd been fighting- I was drunk and I'd accused him of sleeping around. He was absolutely dumbfounded and hurt...and after seeing the pain in his eyes, I knew I was wrong and stupid. But I didn't want to admit it, so I'd carried on fighting and arguing. Carried on pushing my babe to the breaking point... I beat him and insulted him for no reason at all. I've really fucked up...I've never been so cruel to him. Sure, we've quarreled before, but those times neither of us were drunk and it never got physical.
This evening though; I remember his words so clearly...I remember the emotion so apparent in those big brown eyes. We'd been arguing for almost thirty minutes and the fight was escalating quickly. I backhanded him and he recoiled, shaking slightly.
"Iz, don't hurt me like this...you know I would never cheat on you!" His breathing was heavy; chest heaving as he fought to keep from bawling.
That made me mad and that's when I punched him- a nasty right hook into his jaw. Oh God...Now I'm beginning to sob as I recall the memory.
He slid down the wall and hid his face in his hands- it was clear that he was crying now. I was boiling with rage in my drunken state so I kneeled down to his level and began shaking him violently, screaming, "You stupid fucking slut! Answer me! Stop crying like a god damn baby!" I shoved him down and stood up and kicked him in the stomach repeatedly, blindly- only to punch him once again and kick his ribs. He wailed and clutched his stomach in fear.
"Help me Izzy..please! Please help me! My stomach, it-" he was cut off as I tried kicking him again but he rolled away and stood up weakly, stumbling to the front door to unlock and open it.
"Where the fuck you going?" I slurred. He coughed up a little blood, one arm holding his midsection and the other resiling to hit me. I didn't have time to think when his fist met my jaw, and I staggered back.
All I remember since then is him glancing back at me with fear then exiting the house.. I was still reeling from his punch and I fell back and hit the wall. Yep, I was knocked out. Now I'm awake, four hours later, with a bad hangover and a broken heart. I'll understand if he doesn't come back, but I can't live without my Duffy. I don't know what came over me. I've been under heavy amounts of stress lately because of the recent success of the band, and I took it out on Duff- my only love. What happened tonight just goes to show one of the ways of how dangerous a person can be under the influence of alcohol. Dammit, I'm sobbing my eyes out! I cry louder and scream and pull my hair, doing something- anything to block out the sadness. I try and think of happier times with him, and all of a sudden I hear something soft, a soft voice like an angel.
"Shh...everything's gonna be okay. I'm here now." The voice continues whispering sweet nothings in my ear and I become aware of long fingers threading through my hair. I finally look up from my hands and see the most wonderful sight. It is an angel. My angel.
"Duff?" I whisper incredulously. My arms lock around his waist and he winces, but I just hold him to my chest since I need him. I need Duff so much. I'm frantically apologizing to him amongst many chokes and sobs. Still, he says nothing but kisses my forehead and rubs my back comfortingly.
"Baby, please say something. Please don't leave me. I love you. Please forgive me!" My face is buried in his shirt, muffling my words, but I know he understands what I said.
"I'm not lea-" he begins but I cut him off and ask, "W- Why'd you come back?"
Duff tilts my chin up so I'm looking at him and he gently kisses me as his thumb brushes away all my tears.
"Because I love you. I couldn't leave you, Iz. You're so precious to me; besides, we all make mistakes. You could beat me so bad I'd in bed for a week and I'd still make love to you afterwards. You're my soulmate, Izzy."
I pull back to study his face and I can't believe it; can't believe what I've done to him. Duff's perfect face is now bruised and beaten- an obvious black eye and swollen purple cheek. I lift his shirt and gaze in horror at the bruised ribcage covered with bandages. My breath is coming in pants now as I try not to start crying again..but I cry anyway.
"My p- poor baby...I'm so, so sorry. Duffy..I'm a monster...you should've left me when.. y- you had the chance! I- I ..." Duff cuts me off with a passionate kiss and cups my face in his hands. I look into those deep sienna eyes that I just wanna fall into, and I do. Our foreheads are pressed together and he's caressing my cheekbone.
"Izzy, you are not a monster. I love you unconditionally and you don't understand how much I need you. I'm afraid of losing you every day..I'm afraid of losing my baby..." he exhales and places butterfly kisses on my forehead, nose, eyebrows, chin, hair, cheeks....God am I getting dizzy. I need him.
"You'll always be my baby, my darling lover with gorgeous brown eyes and a big heart. I love you so much," Duff declares huskily.
"Duffy, I love you," is all I can say. He's got me in that hazy state that I can only reach when I'm with him.
Duff lifts his t shirt again, exposing his tummy, nipples, and chest.
"Please kiss my bruises, Iz. Please make me feel better again," he pleads gently.
Duff removes his bandages and whispers, "Let's make up, darling."
He teasingly nips my chin before laying back on the couch and gazing up at me. I take this as an opportunity to start planting soft kisses on his belly, occasionally licking. As I gradually inch up to his chest, Duff's hands caress my back and my hair.
"That's it..." He mumbles, panting.
The arousal in that voice makes me aware of Duff's thick erection straining against his tight pants; and at this moment I realize that never in my life have I needed a person so badly, for everything, and never have I felt so needed by anyone else. Not for just sex. No way. In fact, Duff is the only person I've ever made love to and I'm about to do it again.
Duff whimpers when I lock our lips together amorously; I love this man so much. He's kissing me hard and fisting and unfisting and refisting my hair. I forget about everything around us until, "Oh..Izzy...wait," he moans.
Confused, I pull back and straddle his hips so I don't hurt his bruises.
"What's wrong?" I feel worried. But why should I? I shouldn't. I have faith in my babe. Everything's okay now.
"Nothing's wrong, darling. In fact, everything's perfect..." He trails off before lightly kissing me.
Duff sits up a little and reaches for his jacket that's strewn across the back of the couch we're sitting on. He digs around in the pocket, pulling something out, but I can't tell what it is cause it's so dark.
"Close your eyes," He orders softly.
I close my eyes and become aware that he switched on the lamp next to us. Then he lifts me off his legs and stands up off the couch. I can hear it, not see it, which is frustrating.
"Kay, open your eyes."
I do as he asks, my eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness.
Oh God, could it be?!
Duff is in front of me kneeling down on one knee, and he's holding out a ring box. Those eyes are shining with tenderness and mine are probably wide as saucers.
He takes my hand and kisses it delicately, a serious expression on that gorgeous face.
"Izzy Stradlin, will you marry me?"
I feel like a little girl as I squeal with delight, "Oh, yes Duff! Yes! Of course I'll marry you!"
I practically tackle that lanky body, lavishing kisses everywhere.
"Hey, save the sex noises for the sex, doll." He says jokingly, referring to my "oh yes!" declaration.
"Oh, I will," I reply seductively, covering up my embarrassment.
Then reality kicks in: this man is going to be my husband. I'm going to be "Izzy Mckagan", which I have absolutely no problem with.
"My husband..." I mumble sort of protectively.
My legs are wrapped tightly around his waist and I'm content resting my head on his shoulder. Duff's hands rub along my thighs in that way only a husband can do to their wife; I've seen how it looks when a married couple shows affection for each other and it looks like this which makes me feel ashamed for some reason.
"Duffy, do you ever wish I was a woman?" I ask sheepishly.
He pulls back to look at me.
"Never, baby. You're my man. You turn me on so much- in fact, I get hard every time you walk in the room......damn, Iz, you're getting me hot again..."
I know he's bluntly making me aware of this this cause once again I feel that long, thick erection pressing against me. My need is just as great as his now and I'm getting harder by the second.
"Then turn off the lights and tell me just what turns you on, sexy." I growl in Duff's ear.
He plops me on the couch before switching the lights off again, leaving us in complete darkness except for the bit of moonlight shone through partly-translucent curtains. A split second later, Duff is on top of my body and we're grinding against each other, kissing furiously.
"Start talking," I command, slapping his ass.
"Mm, yeah. I love it when you tease me and slap my ass, Iz...oh..." He moans loudly as I squeeze him through his pants.
"And your tummy...is..r- really cute, pu- pumpkin," he gasps, "I love it. Love your tummy."
I pull his pants down, muttering, "And?"
"You got a nice, tight little ass." I squeak a little when Duff shucks my pants as well and squeezes my buttcheeks a few times.
"You like that?"
I nod eagerly and remove Duff's underwear.
"Take your pants off." He murmurs, stroking himself fiercely. I obey, groaning since I can't get enough of watching this hottie pleasure himself.
"Sexy, slim thighs..." He muses, hand trailing closer and closer toward the waistband of my underwear, eventually stripping it off. Yeah, now we're both completely naked from the waist down.
My arms are around his neck, legs around his waist, and I'm panting and kissing his throat with my eyes closed; my favorite position since we're as close as possible.
"My one and and only," I think aloud and run my hands through his dirty blonde hair.
Duff responds by grazing his lips against mine as he grabs my arms and places them above my head, planting affectionate kisses along them.
My lover sits me up a little to rid me of my shirt, doing the same to himself.
"And I like your cock, too." Duff says with a child-like snicker.
I groan when his hand finally wraps around my length and begins stroking.
"Duffy...." I trail off, my voice dreamy.
He never stops stroking both our dicks as he rests his head in the crook of my neck, listening intently.
"What is it, baby?" He replies gently, brushing some hair out of my eyes.
"Please...m- make love...to me," I beseech, struggling to speak since his hand is making me nearly convulse with pleasure.
Duff's hand refrains from stroking when he rests on his elbows to look into my eyes. My eyes are adjusted to the dim lighting and I can make out those breathtaking umber gems softening, falling into my own.
"Thank you, Izzy..." He moans softly.
This is special for us; a first since I've always been the one who tops. But I want to completely give myself to my gorgeous lover, my fiancé.
"Are you sure, darling?"
"Yes. Make me yours."
I can tell Duff is elated and he's frantically kissing me whilst trying to grab the bottle of lube off the end table.
"I just want to make you happy, baby." I say warmly. I love him, I really do.
"And you have, honey poo." Duff replies, calling me my pet name. He's forever an awkward, giggling dork but that's why he's so cute.
"Okay, ready?" Duff asks cautiously after coating his fingers with lube.
"Uh-huh. Just be slow, okay?"
"Don't worry, sweetie. I'll be careful." He reassures, beginning to kiss me while entering his fingers.
I try to ignore the pain by kissing Duff fervently as he starts stroking me again. Doing the same to him, I rub his back encouragingly.
"Are you alright, Iz?"
"Keep going," I answer confidently whilst gritting my teeth.
Duff senses my discomfort, breaking our kiss. He moves to ministrate endearing kisses on my chest and collar bone, then moving to suck on one of my nipples.
I sigh, smiling. We're both relaxed doing this for a few minutes, the pain slowly dissipating, until Duff's fingers hit something inside me that feels amazing. So this is what it feels like to bottom....
"Oh shit, baby!" I shriek.
He pulls his fingers out in panic, scared that I'm hurt.
"Oh god, please don't stop! Fuck me now...Duffy..p-please, I can't hold...in gonna-" I say frantically but Duff interrupts me: "Shh...it's okay hun..almost there..." And then I hear his sigh of relief.
I try to hush but I need him inside me..now. I try not to beg anymore, so instead I stroke his cheekbone, eyes closed, listening to the sound of lube being applied. Whimpering. I'm hopelessly whimpering since he's got me worked into such a frenzy.
Finally I feel the head of his erection at my entrance and my hips jerk with anticipation. Duff fills me in one push and is soon thrusting in and out of me, hard and fast. It doesn't take long for me to spread my legs as wide as I can, throwing my ankles over his shoulders. What can I say? I need it...bad.
"YES! Oh...fuck! Harder, Duff, harder! Oh..." I've lost complete control, my hips violently rocking up and down. I feel like such a slut, but that turns me on even more so.
"I love it when you scream my name." Duff declares, his voice lower than usual.
I'm moaning deep in my throat, loving the feeling his cock gives me.
"Tell me," my lover implores.
I can barely hear since my voice is high and frantic with moans and screams.
"W- what...Mmm.. What..do you mean?"
Duff eyeballs me, amused at my highly aroused state. I'm blushing now.
"You're blushing, baby. God...so fucking adorable," he says amongst gasps.
"What'd you mean?" I query further, now genuinely curious as to what he meant earlier.
"Tell me...w-what you want...I need..to pleasure you.." Duff grunts, barely getting that sentence out.
I think for a moment, surprised by his question.....or was it an offer? Whatever. I've made my decision.
"Turn me over and kiss and lick my ass."
What? A bit strange, but that's what I want and he did say to tell him what I want.
"As you wish, muffin."
He flips me over so I'm getting fucked from behind. Yeah, this position really gets me off.
Next, I feel little nibbles along my crack, then sloppy kisses.
"Mmm...Duffy...you feel so good."
Duff is thrusting into me at a wild pace, upon my request of course. His soft hands are massaging my ass, then lightly caressing with his palms; Suddenly his hand brushes one erotic spot on my right cheek, making me cry out again.
"Ahh..! Yes, yes! Keep touching me...oh fuck! Right there, don't stop!"
I feel my lover's hand start rubbing that one spot again.
"Right here?"
"Uh-huh...mmm.." I respond wistfully.
Then I start to feel it, the tingling.
"Oh shit! Duff I'm gonna cum!" I scream, squeezing my eyes shut.
Duff thrusts as fast as he can and strokes me, moaning loudly as well.
"You can do it, baby. Cum for me."
Duff whispers lovingly.
"Oh God, fuck me harder!" Duff does just that, hitting my magic spot as I cum, hard.
"Oh...oh..yes..Duffy.." I trail off, mumbling nonsense, watching as the warm white liquid is finally being released from me.
Shocks of pleasure rumble through my body as Duff continues thrusting, cumming a few seconds later.
"Oh, Iz... My baby...." Duff says under his breath, extracting himself from me and lying on his side so we're facing each other. I feel so wonderful, I bet my body is glowing. Now I know what it's like to receive the love instead of giving it; physically, of course. Now I know what it feels like to be touched so intimately by the only person who can make the experience truly perfect. Now I know what being fucked feels like afterwards; and I love the feel of his seed dripping between my legs.
"I love you so much, honey poo." He whispers in my ear- I can hear the happiness in that beautiful voice.
"I know." I reply, giggling.
"So, Duffy, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, love."
"Why'd you ask me to marry you tonight?"
"Why not?" He replies jokingly.
"Duffyyy..." I whine.
"Okay, okay...I guess I thought we should have a stronger commitment. And I knew you'd be so happy...I just want to make you happy, baby."
My eyes were watering and I hoped he couldn't see as I wiped the droplets off my cheeks.
"But...I hurt you..." I trail off.
"Doesn't matter to me. If you really love someone, you should give them a second chance. And I'll forgive you for just about anything, Mr Stradlin. Does that answer your question?"
I ponder for a moment, then wrap my arms around that perfect neck, sighing.
"Yeah." I utter, still thoughtful.
After a minute of no sound except for our quiet breathing, I think my lover has fallen asleep until, "Whatcha' thinkin' about?" Duff wonders aloud, softly kissing my forehead.
"How perfect and gorgeous you are, and how much I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. That's what," I answer matter-of-factly, draping one of my thighs around his hips.
"Oh, Iz..." He moans.
That's all it takes and we're at it again. I glance at the clock and it's almost 5am, but I'd rather be making love to Duff than anything else, and he's the one who replaced the pain in my heart with one thing I've never truly felt until now: love.