Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
"GRANDMA! CALL 911! GEE'S FUCKED UP MAJORLY THIS TIME!" Are the last words I remember hearing. "Sorry..." Are the last words I remember saying clearly. Maybe it was the pills had began to kick in or the Puerto Rican rum I washed them down with or hell, even the blood loss from ruby red ribbon dripping down my arms but the night had reached nightmarish quality and the details are still unclear to me.
I woke up before everyone else and got dressed in my usual outfit; black combat boots, black skinny jeans, black band shirt, black hoodie and me rimming my eyes with black eyeliner. I tried to tame my messy black mane but quickly gave up. My brother woke up at some point and questioned me about last night. I didn't answer though, he was never normally concerned and most of the time liked to act like I don't exist, and instead got my backpack on and left.
My name is Gerard Way but that isn't that important. This could be your story, the kid from down the street's story and in a way, I wish it was, but this is my story and mine alone to tell.
I don't know when I decided I wanted to die. I didn't wake up thinking 'I want to kill myself today.' and I wasn't practicing writing my suicide note in class. I wasn't in class anyway, I treated the day like any other. Walk to school, drink in my hiding place, go out of school, skip most of classes, smoke cigarettes, walk out of school. I'm the weird kid who you talk about in the back of class, who gets picked on and beaten up by the jocks, who doesn't fit in with any group and ends up sitting alone at lunch, his little brother looking over every now and again, giving half hearted apologetic looks before turning back to his friends. If I made a bit more of an effort, I would fit in with Mikey's friends and maybe he would stop acting like he doesn't know me. But it's a bit late for that, isn't it?
I have a boyfriend called Bert. He doesn't go to my school so I hardly see him. I think we met at a concert and we've stuck with each other since. He's probably the only person who cares about me and that's probably why I love him so much, cause I needed someone to care if I died or not.
Bert was meant to be meeting up with me at the park after school but he never came. Instead he called me. "I'm sorry Gerard, you have too many problems, I don't think I want to do this anymore." He said before hanging up. I sat down beside a tree, gobsmacked, for awhile.
In hindsight, it wasn't so much him breaking up with me that cracked me. It's the fact that I poured all my love and humanity in him and he, like everyone else in my life, hurt me. I called my mother in pain and desperation but all she said was "I'm sorry your hurting." And just then something dark that I never knew existed clicked with me.
I had been getting abused by my stepfather for years and now my brother had been too, my mother had always been too scared to help and often agreed with him. But that isn't too important right. Now I'm going to die.
I realize for years I had been taking drugs, drinking too much and having sex in a vain attempt to forgot what he does to me. But that no longer work. I felt that the best way to escape was to kill myself. No, I felt the only way to escape was to kill myself.
I ran home. I knew that Mikey and Grandma had gone to put flowers on my dead relatives graves and I got a text from Mikey saying that they were going to get pizza afterwards. I had at least an hour.
I walked into the kitchen and got out the butchers knife and alcohol from under the sink. I raided the medicine cabinet and walked into the bathroom, locking the door. I put my favourite song on repeat and crawled into the bathtub. I wrote out a small suicide note to Mikey and mom, saying sorry as I couldn't think of what else to say. I opened up some pills, swallowed a handful, drank some of the rum, and started to cut deep into my ghostly skin. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. "No one cares about you Gerard. No one will even notice your dead until they find your lifeless corpse. Your worthless, Your nothing." I told myself while continuing my pattern. I wonder what hell's going to be like. Well, I'll be there soon. I heard banging on the bathroom door. Some screams. "I'll be out in a minute!" I shouted, laughing a little. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. I could hear Mikey shouting down the phone. Not to get an ambulance but to get Grandma over. Well, this must be all to much for a fifteen year old. Knowing your older brothers is killing himself in the bathroom. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. Swallow, Drink, Cut... Swallow, drink... Cut... The bathroom door swung open. "GERARD!" I heard someone scream. My brother. "DON'T DIE ON ME!" He screamed. My sight got hazy. "Why..." I whispered. "DON'T PULL THAT SHIT WITH ME GERARD ARTHUR WAY!" For a second I felt bad for him seeing me like this. But then I stopped caring all together. "GRANDMA! CALL 911! GEE'S FUCKED UP MAJORLY THIS TIME!" He screamed. I dropped the knife in my hands. "Sorry..." I said softly before closing my eyes.
The rest of the night is like a dream. Or a nightmare. I keep coming in and coming out.
I heard sirens and see flashing lights. I feel someone's hand in mine. I think it was my brothers. And my grandmother's had her hand around my wrist. It hurt a lot. "Only one of you'd can go in the back." I heard an unfamiliar voice say. "I'll go." I heard my brother say, his voice cracking slightly.
Fade out.
I'm on a stretcher now and I can see clearer. Mikey was sitting beside me, red eyed and frail looking. I reached out my arm to touch him but not only were my arms painful to move, I was strapped down to the stretcher too.
Fade out.
I'm no longer in the ambulance but I'm being carried. People saying numbers and my name. It must be code or something like that cause if it's not then I must be going mad. I'm placed down on a bed and my clothes are stripped off me. Well, cut off me. Then they tie on a hospital gown and put a mask over my face.
Fade out.
I hear someone sobbing but I don't know who it is as my eyes aren't opening. "I'm sorry." I hear an unfamiliar voice say. Before I can protest, I fade out, for the last time.
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NOTES
So, this is my first fic on here! Yay! I promise Gerard DOES survive, just...
Yup...
I woke up before everyone else and got dressed in my usual outfit; black combat boots, black skinny jeans, black band shirt, black hoodie and me rimming my eyes with black eyeliner. I tried to tame my messy black mane but quickly gave up. My brother woke up at some point and questioned me about last night. I didn't answer though, he was never normally concerned and most of the time liked to act like I don't exist, and instead got my backpack on and left.
My name is Gerard Way but that isn't that important. This could be your story, the kid from down the street's story and in a way, I wish it was, but this is my story and mine alone to tell.
I don't know when I decided I wanted to die. I didn't wake up thinking 'I want to kill myself today.' and I wasn't practicing writing my suicide note in class. I wasn't in class anyway, I treated the day like any other. Walk to school, drink in my hiding place, go out of school, skip most of classes, smoke cigarettes, walk out of school. I'm the weird kid who you talk about in the back of class, who gets picked on and beaten up by the jocks, who doesn't fit in with any group and ends up sitting alone at lunch, his little brother looking over every now and again, giving half hearted apologetic looks before turning back to his friends. If I made a bit more of an effort, I would fit in with Mikey's friends and maybe he would stop acting like he doesn't know me. But it's a bit late for that, isn't it?
I have a boyfriend called Bert. He doesn't go to my school so I hardly see him. I think we met at a concert and we've stuck with each other since. He's probably the only person who cares about me and that's probably why I love him so much, cause I needed someone to care if I died or not.
Bert was meant to be meeting up with me at the park after school but he never came. Instead he called me. "I'm sorry Gerard, you have too many problems, I don't think I want to do this anymore." He said before hanging up. I sat down beside a tree, gobsmacked, for awhile.
In hindsight, it wasn't so much him breaking up with me that cracked me. It's the fact that I poured all my love and humanity in him and he, like everyone else in my life, hurt me. I called my mother in pain and desperation but all she said was "I'm sorry your hurting." And just then something dark that I never knew existed clicked with me.
I had been getting abused by my stepfather for years and now my brother had been too, my mother had always been too scared to help and often agreed with him. But that isn't too important right. Now I'm going to die.
I realize for years I had been taking drugs, drinking too much and having sex in a vain attempt to forgot what he does to me. But that no longer work. I felt that the best way to escape was to kill myself. No, I felt the only way to escape was to kill myself.
I ran home. I knew that Mikey and Grandma had gone to put flowers on my dead relatives graves and I got a text from Mikey saying that they were going to get pizza afterwards. I had at least an hour.
I walked into the kitchen and got out the butchers knife and alcohol from under the sink. I raided the medicine cabinet and walked into the bathroom, locking the door. I put my favourite song on repeat and crawled into the bathtub. I wrote out a small suicide note to Mikey and mom, saying sorry as I couldn't think of what else to say. I opened up some pills, swallowed a handful, drank some of the rum, and started to cut deep into my ghostly skin. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. "No one cares about you Gerard. No one will even notice your dead until they find your lifeless corpse. Your worthless, Your nothing." I told myself while continuing my pattern. I wonder what hell's going to be like. Well, I'll be there soon. I heard banging on the bathroom door. Some screams. "I'll be out in a minute!" I shouted, laughing a little. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. I could hear Mikey shouting down the phone. Not to get an ambulance but to get Grandma over. Well, this must be all to much for a fifteen year old. Knowing your older brothers is killing himself in the bathroom. Swallow, Drink, Cut, Repeat. Swallow, Drink, Cut... Swallow, drink... Cut... The bathroom door swung open. "GERARD!" I heard someone scream. My brother. "DON'T DIE ON ME!" He screamed. My sight got hazy. "Why..." I whispered. "DON'T PULL THAT SHIT WITH ME GERARD ARTHUR WAY!" For a second I felt bad for him seeing me like this. But then I stopped caring all together. "GRANDMA! CALL 911! GEE'S FUCKED UP MAJORLY THIS TIME!" He screamed. I dropped the knife in my hands. "Sorry..." I said softly before closing my eyes.
The rest of the night is like a dream. Or a nightmare. I keep coming in and coming out.
I heard sirens and see flashing lights. I feel someone's hand in mine. I think it was my brothers. And my grandmother's had her hand around my wrist. It hurt a lot. "Only one of you'd can go in the back." I heard an unfamiliar voice say. "I'll go." I heard my brother say, his voice cracking slightly.
Fade out.
I'm on a stretcher now and I can see clearer. Mikey was sitting beside me, red eyed and frail looking. I reached out my arm to touch him but not only were my arms painful to move, I was strapped down to the stretcher too.
Fade out.
I'm no longer in the ambulance but I'm being carried. People saying numbers and my name. It must be code or something like that cause if it's not then I must be going mad. I'm placed down on a bed and my clothes are stripped off me. Well, cut off me. Then they tie on a hospital gown and put a mask over my face.
Fade out.
I hear someone sobbing but I don't know who it is as my eyes aren't opening. "I'm sorry." I hear an unfamiliar voice say. Before I can protest, I fade out, for the last time.
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NOTES
So, this is my first fic on here! Yay! I promise Gerard DOES survive, just...
Yup...
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