FicWad

DISCLAIMER: Obviously I don't own Harry Potter, the amazing series belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Not making anything out of writing this.

This is my first shot at writing fanfiction. The idea just popped into my mind out of nowhere in the middle of the night, literally. I hope you find the idea of this story somehow intriguing and appealing as I did back then. Rated M for the concept of the story(the title says it all, isn't?) and for future chapters. And without further ado, enjoy reading!

CHAPTER 1

She was standing on the Hogwarts grounds and staring out across the lake when suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and felt a chin settled comfortably on her right shoulder. She can't help the tugging at the corners of her mouth, for she already knew the identity of the person and made no move to turn around but just instead placed her hands on top of his and continue on staring across the lake.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered in her ear and then kissed her right cheek.

"Us." she whispered in response. She loves this part on their relationship. When either of them starts the conversation in a whisper, the other, as if on cue, will also whisper in response. Because in those times, she knows that his attention is solely on hers, and he is listening intently to what she's saying no matter how mundane it is. And she really appreciates those moments.

"And what about us?" he asked. Kissing her cheek again and this time resting his lips on it while waiting for her answer.

"Nothing specific really. I just love being us, me having you and you having me." And then she turned her head to give him a quick yet lingering peck on the lips, she pulled away smiling at him.

"I can't say I feel the same." he said. She raised an eyebrow, but it quickly went down when she noticed that he was looking at her intently - like he's looking at her for the first time - and said "Because no matter what, I still love you more than us. It's because of you are the reason in the first place that I can say us." Then he smiled his most charming smile "As in me having you and you having me." Before pressing a gentle kiss on her lips.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

She heard the timer she set up before taking a shower and felt the water running down her body, successfully getting her out of her reverie. It was her usual routine when taking a long bath or shower, always making sure to set up a timer before she gets in, so that she won't lose track of time in case she made an unexpected trip down memory lane. She picked up her towel on the hanger, wrapped it around her body and got out of the shower, picking up an extra towel on the way to dry her hair. She likes drying her hair manually and not using her wand for it when she's taking her time to ponder on things, things mostly related to him.

It's been 3 years and she still can't forget him. Still can't forget everything about him. His usual set of untidy black hair, his bespectacled green eyes that she always found herself getting lost into, his strong arms wrapped protectively around her, his toned muscular body pressed against hers, his different set of smiles if he's being charming or apologizing or seducing or anything, his voice when he's calling or whispering out her name. He still affects her, he still got a hold of her even if he doesn't know it.

She still remembers him. And above all, she still remembers that fateful day.

The day when her world came crashing down on her. The day that she can never bring up in a casual conversation, or any discussion at all, without going into a whirlpool of emotions. The day that was still too painful for her to even think of, because once she started to think of it, her mind would go automatic and replay everything that happened that fateful day. Feeling the now familiar pain course through her veins again. And it will be like he's leaving her all over again.

After torturing herself for replaying that fateful day in her mind over and over again, to find some answers to her 'why, when, where, how' or just seek solace on his face showing signs that he didn't mean any of it - that it's hurting him too -, she had noticed things she didn't even gave a blink of an eye back then. If only she had then she would have known better, and that's something was amiss when she saw him wearing that unreadable expression she only saw him wore twice. How could she forget when she was there with him in the events? Once on the Battle in the Department of Mysteries - when Harry had a vision of Sirius being tortured and then she, along with Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville came and fought the Death Eaters - was the day his godfather, Sirius Black died. And the second is the very next year named as Battle of Hogwarts - when Voldemort with his Death Eater followers attacked Hogwarts - Albus Dumbledore died saving him from the Killing Curse from Voldemort thus giving him the opportunity to strike back an attack, finishing the Dark Lord once and for all. For he is the only one who is able to kill Voldemort. The only one who have the power, the Dark Lord knows not. And never would she have thought that she would see him in that particular expression again, one that directed towards her nonetheless. She should have suspected it, when he had been acting strange and distant after that particular summer. She should have questioned his sudden change of behavior, she should have demanded answers from him there and then. She should have, but instead....

She just stood there, watched as the love of her life walked away from her life. With just a "I'm sorry, it's over." then he left her life for good, but in her case it had been for bad. She was left there without a proper explanation why. Without a proper closure. Just like that, he left. Left her with broken promises, unfulfilled plans, a reneged future, and shattered to million pieces of a heart.

And she hates him for it. She hates him for breaking his promises, she hates him for backing down on their plans, she hates him for not being with her the past 3 years, and she hates him for what he had done to her heart but still love him with every piece left of it.

Yes that's right. It has been 3 years since that fateful day, and within the span of 36 months, 156 weeks or 1095 days she had given up on asking herself'what I had done wrong' or wondering 'where it all went wrong'. She had lost hope of him coming back to her on bended knees, asking for forgiveness and to give him another chance, or at least of him just coming back. She had lost hope of him fulfilling his promises and their plans. She had lost hope ever since the day she saw him with /her/.

Of course she heard the rumors going around the mill - who doesn't when it involves the Savior of the Wizarding World - laugh at it even, just to push aside the hurt it was causing her in just imagining him being with another woman. She was torn apart during the circulation of that rumor, some parts of her wanted to believe the rumor, so she will then have a reason to curse him, blame him, and most importantly hate him. But unfortunately, those parts of her was in no comparison to the part that still believes in him - still loves him.

So when she had been informed that he will be attending a Ministry event, she immediately thought of finally getting answers from him - whatever his answers might be - and if the fate will have it, get back together with him. That's why she took her time to select the dress she will be wearing that night and pamper herself for him, to hear him say the words she missed coming from his mouth. So when she saw him with her, you can just imagine how much self-control she had to enforce on herself not to cause a big scene and just go straight at him to curse them, hit him so hard that she can at least make him feel of the tiniest bit of pain he was causing her at that moment. How much she cursed herself that day for just standing there and doing nothing but stare at them, stare at her. /How /she /looked in /her /dress, how /her /hair flows perfectly down /her unblemished back, how her /arm was wrapped possessively around his waist - his arm draped on /her pristine shoulder -,how she laughed at his joke, how she looked at him adoringly, how everything about her seemed flawless. It was the first time in a long while since she had felt that insecure because of someone, she felt that the long hours it took her for the preparations that night was like she had done it in a rush compared to how she looked.

So after that night, she busied herself in everything she can be busy about. Sure she dated once in a while, going to dinners, talking then if she's in a good mood, kiss the guy. But she never dated a guy twice. She just dated them for the sake of dating, for the sake of her friends and family never-ending persuasions to stop. After that night, she convinced herself on certain things.

No more "what ifs" as she goes on her everyday life, no more pondering on "what could have been", and no more checking the Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly or even The Quibbler on updates regarding the Boy Who Lived. No more of those things. No more him.

She finished getting ready and got up to go to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries to begin with her full and busy day ahead of her, her first day as a registered Healer, and she can't wait for the day to start and get it over with.


Well that was just the introduction of my story, you'll know who is the girl described here in the next chapter, so you'll have to wonder for now and tell me what you think of the story, and also at my first shot in writing fanfiction? Badly needed your reviews for faster update!