Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Let's Put A Smile On That Face
Mikey's POV
Every day seemed to go the same way. Rehab was probably one of the worst places to be when your brother/best friend is missing. I was extremely rude and ignorant towards the staff, i hated them. I hated that place. I wanted to get out and find my brother. Fuck alcohol, i was an idiot to drink again. I know what you're thinking. Mikey, there are 318.9 million people in the country. Let alone the whole world. I know, i know. I just wanted to go around asking people if they had seen him anywhere. Any possible sighting of him, i would show up. Any place he might be, i would go to. I was so, so desperate. I needed him. I wouldn't be alive without him.
*
Ray's POV
I had tried to forget about gerard. I was under the assumption he just decided to leave, which may seem very harsh, and it was, really. But i was stupid. Overrall, my life had gotten a lot better. I had settled down in a small, enclosed mountain town in Canada. My wife was pregnant, my solo project was soon to be launched. Everything was looking okay.
Frank and i never talked. We had an argument. Frank was so angry about me assuming gerard had left us by choice. I pushed him, but a little too hard. He fell over, hitting his head on a table and knocking himself out. He didn't tell anyone what happened... But i couldn't understand why. Didn't he hate me? I thought he did, at least. In fact, he should have. I was talking shit about someone who could be dead and attacked him. Guilt overwhelmed me whenever i thought about it. I didn't want to accept what i did to him, i couldn't.
*
Frank's POV
I couldn't get to sleep. Lying in bed, next to jamia. She was so cute when she was sleeping. I looked at the clock on my bedside table. Midnight. I sighed, getting up and going into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and leaned on the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I hate myself.
Flashback
"Frank, Can we go now?" Gerard asked over the music of the bar.
"One more pint, i promise" I slurred.
I was drunk, same went for ray and mikey.
"I don't want to stay here, people are looking at me" He croaked.
"Well, not everything is about you gerard!" I laughed, saddistically.
"Please, it's not fair on me" He said quietly.
"Go fucking smoke, nobody wants to hear you complain" I pushed him angrily.
He looked hurt, but walked out nonetheless. Thankfully for me, nobody had noticed me shouting at him.
I was such a dick.
End of flashback
I then realised i was crying. I couldn't take this anymore. I opened the cabinet, taking out my tube of anti-depressants. I filled the bathtub up with water. I sat down in the cool water, fully clothed. I took the cap off the tube. I guess this was it.
One pill.
I'm sorry, gerard.
Two pills.
I'm so sorry, gerard.
Three pills.
I'm really sorry, gerard.
Four pills.
Why did you leave, gerard?
Five pills.
Was it really my fault, gerard?
Six pills.
I should have cared more, gerard.
Seven pills.
I hope this fixes it, gerard.
Eight pills. Nine pills. Ten pills.
I'm going to kill myself, gerard.
Eleven pills. Twelve pills. Thirteen pills.
If you're still alive, i'm sorry i can't survive without you, gerard.
Fourteen pills. Fifteen pills. Sixteen pills.
There was a knock at the door. "Frank?"
Seventeen pills, eighteen pills, nineteen pills.
"What are you doing in there, frank?"
Twenty pills. There were none left. I started sinking into the bath, getting more tired. Wait no, i change my mind! i don't want to die! i have to stay for jamia!
"Frank? you're not.. OH GOD, NO, FRANK, NO!" Jamia started banging at the door, but it was too late.
Black spots started to enclose my vision. The door bursted open, and jamia cupped my face, seeing what had done.
"I'm so sorry" i whispered, closing my eyes for what i thought was the last time.
Every day seemed to go the same way. Rehab was probably one of the worst places to be when your brother/best friend is missing. I was extremely rude and ignorant towards the staff, i hated them. I hated that place. I wanted to get out and find my brother. Fuck alcohol, i was an idiot to drink again. I know what you're thinking. Mikey, there are 318.9 million people in the country. Let alone the whole world. I know, i know. I just wanted to go around asking people if they had seen him anywhere. Any possible sighting of him, i would show up. Any place he might be, i would go to. I was so, so desperate. I needed him. I wouldn't be alive without him.
*
Ray's POV
I had tried to forget about gerard. I was under the assumption he just decided to leave, which may seem very harsh, and it was, really. But i was stupid. Overrall, my life had gotten a lot better. I had settled down in a small, enclosed mountain town in Canada. My wife was pregnant, my solo project was soon to be launched. Everything was looking okay.
Frank and i never talked. We had an argument. Frank was so angry about me assuming gerard had left us by choice. I pushed him, but a little too hard. He fell over, hitting his head on a table and knocking himself out. He didn't tell anyone what happened... But i couldn't understand why. Didn't he hate me? I thought he did, at least. In fact, he should have. I was talking shit about someone who could be dead and attacked him. Guilt overwhelmed me whenever i thought about it. I didn't want to accept what i did to him, i couldn't.
*
Frank's POV
I couldn't get to sleep. Lying in bed, next to jamia. She was so cute when she was sleeping. I looked at the clock on my bedside table. Midnight. I sighed, getting up and going into the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and leaned on the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I hate myself.
Flashback
"Frank, Can we go now?" Gerard asked over the music of the bar.
"One more pint, i promise" I slurred.
I was drunk, same went for ray and mikey.
"I don't want to stay here, people are looking at me" He croaked.
"Well, not everything is about you gerard!" I laughed, saddistically.
"Please, it's not fair on me" He said quietly.
"Go fucking smoke, nobody wants to hear you complain" I pushed him angrily.
He looked hurt, but walked out nonetheless. Thankfully for me, nobody had noticed me shouting at him.
I was such a dick.
End of flashback
I then realised i was crying. I couldn't take this anymore. I opened the cabinet, taking out my tube of anti-depressants. I filled the bathtub up with water. I sat down in the cool water, fully clothed. I took the cap off the tube. I guess this was it.
One pill.
I'm sorry, gerard.
Two pills.
I'm so sorry, gerard.
Three pills.
I'm really sorry, gerard.
Four pills.
Why did you leave, gerard?
Five pills.
Was it really my fault, gerard?
Six pills.
I should have cared more, gerard.
Seven pills.
I hope this fixes it, gerard.
Eight pills. Nine pills. Ten pills.
I'm going to kill myself, gerard.
Eleven pills. Twelve pills. Thirteen pills.
If you're still alive, i'm sorry i can't survive without you, gerard.
Fourteen pills. Fifteen pills. Sixteen pills.
There was a knock at the door. "Frank?"
Seventeen pills, eighteen pills, nineteen pills.
"What are you doing in there, frank?"
Twenty pills. There were none left. I started sinking into the bath, getting more tired. Wait no, i change my mind! i don't want to die! i have to stay for jamia!
"Frank? you're not.. OH GOD, NO, FRANK, NO!" Jamia started banging at the door, but it was too late.
Black spots started to enclose my vision. The door bursted open, and jamia cupped my face, seeing what had done.
"I'm so sorry" i whispered, closing my eyes for what i thought was the last time.
Sign up to rate and review this story