FicWad

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

-oOoOoOo-

What do you do when you find out your boyfriend is going to have to face down a dragon?

For Pansy, the answer was obvious: kill every single adult who thought this was a good idea. Bombing the ministry's Department of Terrible Ideas wasn't going to be nearly enough. She now had proof that the insanity of the magical world infested multiple departments. No, they would all have to be wiped out.

At least, that's what she wanted to do.

If she'd had any faith left in the authorities of this mad world, it was annihilated by the fact that the fools like Dumbledore, despite his attempts at a kindly grandfather persona, apparently thought it was a good idea to put teenagers up against nesting mother dragons.

Hell, it would be easier to just put them in a battle to the death against a male dragon than to try to steal an egg (even if it was fake) from a nesting mother dragon. These are already some of the most dangerous and vicious monsters in the world- but yes, let's seemingly attack their unborn children on top of it all.

In fact, maybe she should suggest just trying to kill the beast to Harry. It would probably be easier than enraging a mother dragon by trying to get to her nest.

At least her scream of frustration brought a smile to Harry's face. The swearing probably helped too.

And that was a nice step up from the terror and disbelief that had been written all over it previously.

"What are you smiling about?"

"It's just nice to have someone on my side who realizes how completely mad the world is," he answered. "You know, I'm really glad to not feel like the only sane person around here."

"What are we going to do, Harry?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll have to do some research."

"Research? They're dragons. Enormous, destructive monsters. What more do you want to know?"

"Well, while Hagrid led me out to see where they're being kept, he also saw Charlie Weasley. As in, one of Ron's older brothers, who happens to work at a dragon reserve in Romania. Now, if there are people who are dragon keepers, then they've got to know some spells to protect themselves, right? I mean, I've heard that Charlie gets burns sometimes, but there's a big difference between a burn and being completely roasted alive. So-"

"So, we find out how they protect themselves." Pansy grabbed Harry and kissed him in relief. "You're pretty brilliant sometimes."

"I have my moments. Want to know something funny?"

"Anything would be a nice change from how much I want to kill the people in charge of this fucking tournament right now."

"Hagrid decided that showing off the dragons would be a good idea for a date."

"Do I need to worry about that giant trying to steal my boyfriend now? That's definitely not something I was planning on having to deal with."

"Not with me." Harry rolled his eyes, and Pansy relaxed a little more about the stress of dragons. At least they had the beginning of a plan. "With Madame Maxime, the Beauxbatons headmistress. He took her on a nice romantic stroll through the countryside to see the enormous flame-breathing monsters."

"Well, as frightening as thinking about Hagrid's sex life is, at least he's going for a woman that he wouldn't necessarily kill if he tried to sleep with her."

"They would need a really big bed," Harry chuckled. "I just wish I hadn't been dragged along. Hagrid's my friend, but listening to his version of flirting was both horrifying and strange. However, I did see something else interesting. Karkaroff was there sneaking around in the bushes."

"That means all three champions will know about the dragons beforehand."

"Yep. Everyone's cheating. Nice level playing field, I suppose."

"It's a bit sad that the other schools need to cheat against you, even with their champions having age advantages. I guess you are pretty amazing."

"Maybe you're biased, but I like to think you're right," Harry chuckled.

"Alright, let's go to bed. We probably both have some frustrations to work off."

"Now, that's a brilliant idea. I guess you're pretty amazing too."

"And don't you forget it, Harry."

"Never my love."

-oOoOoOo-

The next day was a Sunday, so Harry gathered Luna and Hermione and they were all off to the library. Hermione thought it would be a good idea to research dragons themselves, just to see more about any capabilities and weaknesses the different breeds might have. She then spent the rest of the afternoon collating her notes and putting together a very meticulous cheat sheet about every type of dragon.

Harry forgot to mention to her that he already knew the three breeds that were on hand until Hermione was well underway on this task. He had seen what happened when someone got in the middle of one of her projects, so he just let it be. No reason to make her mad at him while he knew she was enjoying being so overwhelmingly thorough.

Meanwhile, Harry, Pansy, and Luna looked up dragon keepers and the distant reserves where the massive beasts were kept, as far away from muggles as possible. Dragons were an enormous breach of the statute of secrecy just by existing. The entire thing would collapse if one of them ever got loose in a civilized area, especially with video evidence. That idea made Harry think that one of these days something would happen on live television and the magical world would be exposed for good. It was really more a question of when, not if. And after everything he had seen of the magical world, he strongly doubted that there was any sort of plan to deal with that eventuality.

But for now, all he had to worry about was staying alive for a few more days.

So, he set aside those thoughts and focused on what a couple of books said about the profession of dragon wrangling. Several spells were noted that they used on an almost constant basis, and the group made notes about them all. Despite the seeming incongruity of it, a dragon's breath was not the most dangerous thing about them. Wizards had plenty of spells to protect against fire.

Their physical prowess on the other hand- their size, strength, fangs, claws, and occasionally spikes or other natural weapons- that was not something easily dealt with, especially since dragons were highly resistant to magic. Getting up close and personal with a dragon was not a good idea.

Harry briefly wondered what sort of maniac would read these things and think that working with dragons sounded like a good idea. Then again, after all the other insanity he had experienced in the magical world, there were probably much worse things out there. Basilisks and nundus both existed after all, and at least dragons didn't kill you instantaneously.

At least, not usually.

He was just going to have to hope that his luck didn't run out too soon.

-oOoOoOo-

That night at dinner, one of the Weasley twins told Harry they needed to talk to him in private.

So, he and Pansy followed them to an empty room on the fourth floor after their meal.

It didn't escape his notice that Pansy kept her hand on her wand as she eyed Fred and George. The last time she had been in private anywhere near them, almost a year and a half previously, the Weasley twins had stood by and cheered when Ron cursed her in an otherwise empty hallway.

Harry thought about how much had changed since then, and he hoped that whatever this was all about would be much more pleasant. Fred and George had never seemed to have any problem with Pansy ever since then, even apologizing to her.

Still, she and the Weasleys just did not go together. At least Ron wasn't here, as Pansy loathed him most of all. Harry kept his fingers crossed, regardless.

"So, we noticed that you weren't at Hogsmeade today, Harry," Fred began.

"Yeah, we went yesterday, plus I had something to work on today."

"I see," replied George. "Well, you missed out on something very educational, so we couldn't let you get away without learning what we found out today."

"You guys are actually encouraging me to learn something? You are the school's biggest class clowns, two guys who supposedly blew their OWLs so badly that your mother's shrieking could be heard halfway to the next town. What type of bizarre mirror world have I stepped into?"

"Laugh it up while you can, Harry. This is serious."

"Alright, what's got your knickers in a twist?"

"We just happened to run into our older brother Charlie today," Fred answered.

"Charlie, the brother who just happens to work with dragons," George continued, "and Charlie, who just happens to be in the country for some reason. Call us suspicious, but we knew this was no coincidence."

"That's before we got to talking with him. He admitted, at least once we got him alone and he threw up several privacy charms, that he was here as part of the tournament. Harry, you've got to deal with dragons."

"And not just regular dragons, but nesting mothers. This is really bad news."

"We wanted to make sure you knew what you were dealing with, especially considering..."

Fred trailed off and looked over at his brother. They seemed to be arguing something over with nothing more than a look. Eventually, they nodded and he finished his thought.

"The thing is that Charlie told us he had written Ron a couple of weeks ago about the first task."

"For some reason, Charlie's always had a soft spot for Ron," George interrupted. "No idea why, really."

"I guess someone in the family had to," Fred laughed. "Anyway, Charlie heard that Ron's best friend Harry Potter was picked as the Hogwarts champion, so he wanted to warn you about this. He knows exactly how dangerous dragons are, even if he is still crazy enough to want to work with them. Charlie said he wouldn't want any untrained teenagers to try to get past nesting mothers, but especially not someone who was still only halfway through his schooling."

"Well, that's both smart and reasonable of him. I'm kind of shocked that a dragon handler of all people would be looking out for my benefit," Harry responded.

"Yeah, Charlie's a good bloke," George agreed. "Unfortunately, we know that Ron never said a word to you about any of this."

"Since he seems to be trying to win the award for biggest prat in Gryffindor," Fred added. "We knew you weren't trying to get into the tournament. You weren't even there all day, and after what happened when we tried to put our names in only to have the parchment somehow changed to your name, we knew something else was going on."

"Like it was some sort of trap for you, Harry. Hell, it's not like this would be the first time."

"That's true," Harry said with chagrin. "Look, guys, I appreciate the thought, but thankfully Hagrid is a better friend than Ron. He showed the dragons to me last night."

"Oh, well, that's good. Do you have any idea what you're going to do yet?"

"I've got a couple of ideas," Harry replied. "That's what I was working on today."

"Alright, good. Let us know if you need our help with anything."

"Thanks."

"No problem, Harry."

Fred clapped Harry on his back as George took down the privacy spells, and the Weasley twins were off on their merry way.

"You can let go of your wand now."

"Better safe than sorry," Pansy retorted.

"They aren't that bad, you know. And they definitely wouldn't attack a friend of mine."

"Let's go back to our rooms and put on some music. This has been a very stressful weekend. I need something to get my mind off everything."

"Sounds good to me."

"Then lead the way, Harry. No one will stop us when you've got a serious look on your face, and I don't think either of us feels like being social right now."

-oOoOoOo-

The next couple of days flew by, and soon enough professor McGonagall was leading Harry outside to a tent on the side of the forest. Pansy, Hermione, and Luna walked with him most of the way, and he tried to keep them all calm by wondering at why they were having the first task in the middle of the week. Harry definitely would have preferred to spend the afternoon in his Runes class, rather than facing death for the umpteenth time, all of them in the few years he'd been in the magical world.

He may have survived a decade of hell with the Dursleys, but at least they never went so far as to try to kill him. Although, Vernon definitely had wanted to on a few occasions.

That brought a nasty smile to Harry's face, which Pansy asked him about.

"Just thinking about the justice you got for me," Harry whispered to her.

Hermione and Luna wished him good luck and both girls hugged him before going off to find places to sit. Luna said she would save Pansy a spot, although she wasn't paying a lot of attention right then.

Pansy had a wicked grin of her own as she remembered watching those muggle bastards being dragged off to jail. Good riddance.

"We're almost there, Harry. Just remember the plans. All of them."

"I do. Don't worry, I have no intention on making this any more difficult than it has to be. If something goes wrong, I'll just blow the task. I've got things to do tonight that don't involve me being stuck in the hospital wing."

"Right, then just keep tonight in your head." Pansy looked around to make sure they were alone as they stood in a corner of the tent. "We both know how you want to celebrate."

Harry smiled widely as Pansy smirked at him before walking off. If only there hadn't been anyone around, she would probably have snogged his face off for good luck.

At least, she had given him a wonderful wake up. And now also promising the most fun way to celebrate.

If the rest of Gryffindor knew what was on his mind, they would be disappointed that their champion would not be interested in partying with them afterwards. But the guys would all understand why. Or, at least the ones who had gone through puberty would. Some of the little first years might still be some of those odd kids who thought girls were icky.

Harry really never understood that point of view. Not that he was any sort of miniature romeo in primary school, but at least the girls didn't beat him up the way Dudley and his little goon squad would. Sure, a few of the girls had made fun of his clothes and whatnot, but that was much preferred to physical violence.

Harry tried to relax as he stood in a corner all alone. He saw the other two contestants speaking with the heads of their schools, but of course, Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen. Even McGonagall hadn't said much before leaving him there.

'I guess it's a good thing I never expect anything from the adults in my life,' he cynically thought to himself. Useless bunch of wankers. What other conclusion could Harry really come up with? If they weren't turned on by constantly placing students- especially him- in danger, then Dumbledore, McGonagall, and company would run a very different sort of school.

One without competitions that sometimes killed the teenagers involved, for example.

Harry's concentration on feeling annoyed with the authority figures around him then grew even stronger as the press showed up. Multiple photographers and reporters were there, some of them speaking other languages, and of course the sleazy Rita Skeeter was back again. There was something seriously wrong with that nasty shrew.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he tried, and probably failed, to keep a scowl off his face.

'Facing a dragon wouldn't be as annoying as this.'

That made him let out a small snort. His sarcastic thought at least gave him a couple of minutes where the stress of the reporters faded into the background. Thankfully, the ministry officials, Bagman and Crouch, turned up at that moment. They were accompanied by the headmaster, looking outrageously garish as usual.

Harry wondered if his choices of robes, always colorful if not downright bizarre, were meant to frustrate the students, all of whom were forced to wear uniforms and plain black robes. At least in muggle schools with dress codes, the teachers always dressed up in suits and whatnot as well. Dumbledore really wasn't setting a very good example.

But then, this was the same man who thought giving an unrepentant scumbag like Snape a chance to torture and belittle teenagers was a good idea.

The fact that the heads of both of the other schools were clearly helping their champions while professor Dumbledore had done nothing for Harry, as usual, was starting to crush what little respect Harry still had for the old man. This was the same person who had dumped him on the Dursleys' doorstep after all.

In the end, he just quietly nodded along at the silly mystery the bumbling Mr. Bagman insisted on as he had the three teens draw little figurines out of a bag that represented the dragons they would have to face. There were no shocks as Harry drew the most largest and most aggressive of the dragons, a Chinese Fireball. He was going last as well, which meant he had all too much time to wait to face his doom.

Harry hoped that Pansy wasn't freaking out too much as she sat in the stands. He didn't think it could be easy for her having to sit there and just watch as his life was in danger.

-oOoOoOo-

She was sitting there desperately trying not to scream, especially as so many of the idiots around her were actually excited for this spectacle. If Harry died out there, Pansy thought she might just start casting the killing curse at everyone in sight.

Oh, she would definitely start with those vile bastards sitting in the section of the stands reserved for the judges. But she wouldn't stop until every single one of these useless cheering twats around her was lying dead at her feet.

"He's going to be alright, you know?"

She looked over at Luna whose wide eyes and smile snapped Pansy out of her darker thoughts.

"We can't know that, Luna."

"I agree," Hermione added. "This is terrible. I hate having to wait knowing what Harry's going to be facing. I just hope he can stay calm and focused."

"Harry is good under pressure," Luna argued. "He didn't flinch when Lucius Malfoy cast the killing curse at him last year. He responded to the dementors attacking at the quidditch match faster than even professor Dumbledore. And from what you've told me, he didn't blink when everything was revealed with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew last spring either.

"I have absolute faith in Harry." The blonde turned her gaze onto Pansy. "You should too. Harry will never fail you."

"I hope you're right, but I can't help but worry."

"Why do you say something like that Luna?" Hermione asked. "As much as I love him, Harry isn't perfect."

"No, but he doesn't have to be. Still, I know my friend well, and I stand by what I said."

"I think I like your method of prediction more than Trelawney's," Pansy said with a hint of a smile trying to break past her anxiety.

"Good. Let's keep talking about other things you like."

Pansy had to let out a nervous giggle at that. Luna really was the best.

-oOoOoOo-

Parvati knew that she wasn't as brilliant as someone like Hermione Granger, but she did have very strong social skills and she had been noticing more and more little things this fall. Pansy had become something like a friend over the last year, which was definitely strange considering what she remembered from the caustic but distant girl of a few years previous. The revelation that her father had been a Death Eater made a lot of sense, especially with how much she had changed ever since she had gotten away from him.

And become close with Harry of course.

Oh, Harry.

Parvati's crush on him was so much worse since it turned out that he was one of only a handful of boys that never seemed to drool all over Fleur Delacour, the impossibly fair blonde bombshell. She had even caught herself checking out the French girl's bum on one occasion.

She didn't even bother to stifle her sigh. Lavender wasn't paying enough attention to notice, and Pansy was busy with Luna Lovegood.

There had been more than a few mean things said about the Ravenclaw who had somehow wormed her way into being one of Harry's closest friends, but Parvati would never utter anything like that after seeing how he had told off Ron, his supposed best friend, when he had called her Looney.

The blonde girl was often seen hanging all over Harry, and oh how much Parvati hated her for that. At least she had never seen them kiss.

But that thought also brought up a suspicion in her mind.

Pansy was never anywhere near as physically affectionate with Harry as Luna was. Even Hermione, the supposedly platonic-only best friend, was a lot more likely to be seen hugging Harry than Pansy was.

And yet, neither of those girls actually lived with Harry like Pansy did. They had spent the entire summer together, while Parvati just daydreamed that she was off vacationing with Harry instead. Maybe on a beach?

Time for another sigh.

But beyond that, who really knew what Pansy might get up to behind closed doors with him- and this year Harry spent a lot more time shut away in his quarters, becoming thoroughly anti-social. It was so much worse the last few weeks, and it all started that night when he had been selected for the tournament. While Harry had been summoned to find out the rules and whatever else from the ministry officials, Parvati had raced back to her dorm to change her outfit and put on a bit of makeup.

There would be butterbeer and probably (hopefully) firewhisky going around the common room. She could have some herself, liquid courage she had heard some of the older students call it, and then take a drink to Harry whenever his hands were empty. She was going to congratulate him, and if her nerve didn't falter, she would do it with her lips pressed to his.

It wasn't a fool-proof plan, but it was the best she could come up with on such short notice.

Then everything fell apart.

Harry stormed into Gryffindor tower that night looking like he hated every single person there, regardless of the fact that they were cheering for him. He had brushed the entire party off and went straight to his room.

That would have been bad enough, as Parvati's hopes for the night crashed down before her eyes as he turned his back on her.

But, Pansy followed right behind him of course. And all of a sudden, Parvati's eyes were wide open. Pansy was always with Harry. No matter what. Even if he was in a bad mood or wanting to be alone, he never made her leave his side.

It looked like the competition for Harry's affections had been right there in front of her the entire time.

-oOoOoOo-

A few minutes later, Krum was called out first to face his dragon. Harry sat down and closed his eyes, trying to relax by running through some of Pansy's Occlumency techniques. Muggles would have called it meditating, he supposed. Still, better to do something other than just sit there worrying.

"What are you doing?" a French accent asked him.

Harry cracked his eyes open and saw Fleur Delacour looking down at him. He supposed she would never do something as undignified as sitting on the ground. Never mind that there was no one there to see her do so, other than someone she had already dismissed as a 'little boy.'

That still really pissed him off.

"It's called Occlumency."

"I know what Occlumency is," Fleur replied testily. "Why would you do something like zat now?"

"Maybe you prefer pacing around while stressing yourself out, but I try to keep a cool head when I've got something dangerous to do."

She nodded and stopped herself from fidgeting nervously.

"I notice you weren't surprised by ze dragons."

"And neither were you. Same for Krum."

"Did your 'eadmaster tell you?"

"No."

"Who did?"

Harry considered closing his eyes and ignoring her, but Delacour was being much less of a bitch than the first two times he had interacted with her. He wondered at why her attitude had changed.

"Why are you so interested?"

"I've 'eard many conflicting things of you, monsieur Potter. Some of ze other students of your school do not speak highly of you, but others tell the most unbelievable stories. You are an enigma."

"I'm surprised you care," Harry muttered before deciding to stand up. Having her look down on him physically was a little too on the nose. "Not that it really matters I suppose, but the same person that showed Madame Maxime the dragons also told me."

There was a roar from outside, but Harry didn't particularly care how Krum was doing. Especially not after hearing the rumors of his interest in younger girls. He hoped the creep got roasted.

"Really? Zis 'agrid fellow? Can you tell me about 'im?"

"Sure, I guess. Hagrid has been the groundskeeper for many years. He also now teaches the Care of Magical Creatures classes."

"And why did it fall to 'im to inform you about ze dragons? I would 'ave thought your headmaster would be looking out for you more. Especially with you being so young and supposedly not entering your own name."

"Dumbledore seems to like remaining mysterious, so you'll have to forgive me if I can't explain his actions to you."

"I see. Are you friendly with 'agrid?"

"Yeah. He's one of my favorite teachers, even if he isn't always the most polished at it. He really knows his subject, and that counts a lot to me. I already knew a fair amount about dragons, largely in thanks to him."

Fleur nodded at that and looked at Harry speculatively.

"Is it true 'zat you drove off a hundred dementors last year at a quidditch match?"

"I didn't count them all, but yes I did cast a Patronus when those monsters attacked. I don't think too highly of a government that would put those things anywhere near a school, and knowing how atrocious my luck can be, I tried to prepare for them when I heard they would be nearby."

"It is impressive zat you would learn such a spell at that age."

"I wasn't doing it to impress anyone," Harry sighed. "It was necessary."

"May I see it?"

"Why?"

"I myself have not learned 'ze spell but am curious to attempt it."

"Alright," Harry shrugged as he pulled out his wand. "You'll want to stand back."

-oOoOoOo-

While at first her pride had not let her show any interest in him, there was something strange about Harry Potter. He was one of the very few teenage boys she had ever seen that hadn't stared at her for one thing, but he was also not at all like the fairy-tale hero in the books her little sister had so loved, at least before they were all pulled from the shelves a year before.

Not that Fleur would ever admit to having ready one or two (or nine) herself when she was younger. They certainly had not helped her to learn English, either.

But ever since that disastrous first meeting, she had been curious about the boy-who-lived.

And everything she heard from the various stories about him had made her more curious. Gossip about him slaying a mythical beast in some long lost hidden chamber, rescuing a girl from certain doom- now that sounded just like those silly books. But apparently the the entire school had seen him survive a duel to the death against a Death Eater. And there was visual proof in the newspaper that she had already seen of him conjuring a Patronus to drive off dementors who had attacked the school during a quidditch match.

He was supposedly only a fair student, not bad but certainly not a genius, and yet he had mastered a spell that few adults could manage at only thirteen.

Fleur strode back across the inside of the tent. There was another swell of noise from the crowd outside just as Harry shouted out Expecto Patronum!

And then she understood just why he had asked her for more room. Suddenly, Fleur Delacour had a feeling that Harry Potter was going to do much better in this contest than she had once thought.

-oOoOoOo-

Pansy was nervously looking over to the tent repeatedly as Krum tried to attack the dragon to distract it so that he could get to a golden egg prominently displayed in the dragon's nest. He was going for a rather uninteresting brute force approach, and after everything she had heard of Durmstrang she was neither surprised nor impressed by the quidditch star.

Just as cheers began, drawing her gaze back over to the contest, there was a bright flash of light that came from the tent Harry was in. She almost got up to run over to check on him, but Luna grabbed onto her arm and pulled her in close.

"Don't worry about it. I think Harry was just practicing."

"Practicing what?"

"It's meant to be a surprise."

"For who?"

"Me," Luna giggled. "Harry's such a sweet guy."

"What are you talking about, Luna?" Hermione asked from her other side.

"You'll see Hermione."

Granger looked frustrated, and Pansy held back a giggle of her own. She couldn't always understand what Luna was talking about either, but seeing it drive Granger to want to tear her own hair out never got old.

A moment later the next dragon was led out, and Fleur Delacour stepped into the arena.

-oOoOoOo-

Harry stopped smirking as the French girl left the tent. His Patronus looked very impressive, especially with its ridiculously large size. So much for just being a little boy, huh?

He was going to have to put that aside now. Fleur had dropped the arrogance, and it just wouldn't do for Harry to be more rude than someone French.

So instead, he went back to sitting down and trying to meditate, focusing on the plans he had made with the help of his three favorite girls. The Patronus made him think of Luna, and he knew that she would appreciate his little joke even if it didn't do much good in the grand scheme of things. Still, a distraction of a few seconds could be helpful, and Harry wasn't above taking every single advantage he could, no matter how small it may be.

As he closed his eyes, he tried to decide exactly if he could afford to hide any of his skills. It would be risky to try to do so against a dragon of all things, but he knew there were plenty of other dangers out there.

Harry guessed that he could hope that the simplest of plans would work, and he did his best to imagine that his bipolar luck would let him get away with something so easy.

If only...

-oOoOoOo-

Pansy was much more impressed by Delacour, who went with a much less flashy idea of how to deal with a dragon. She sang a sort of charmed chant that made the dragon entranced. Parts of the crowd- especially the boys- seemed to be more affected by it as well, although others were grumbling about this being less 'fun' than Krum's approach.

She had to hand it to the French girl, it worked like a charm.

'Oh no,' she thought. 'Did I just make a pun that bad in my own head?'

Luna was rubbing off on her. The goofy little blonde would have laughed her head off at that joke, lame as it might have been.

Well, at least it was a tangent that kept her from worrying for a few more minutes as the arena was cleared and the next dragon brought out for Harry.

"Please be careful, Harry," she whispered like a prayer. Luna reached down and squeezed her hand in support as Pansy closed her eyes and held her breath.

They were calling his name now.

-oOoOoOo-

Harry stepped out and had to blink to get used to the bright sunlight of the afternoon. The crowd roared as he came out, and for a second he was reminded of some film he had seen a few brief moments of years ago before the Dursleys yelled at him. It was something about gladiators being forced to fight for the amusement of the jeering Romans.

He felt a kinship with those fictional warriors as he drew his wand and ducked behind a bit of rock for cover.

Harry began with plan A.

"Accio golden egg!"

Simple and direct- just summon the damn egg over to him. Unfortunately, it was not to be, as the egg didn't budge.

Alright, time for plan B.

"Accio Firebolt!"

Trying to outfly a dragon might not have necessarily been the best idea, but as a nesting mother, even a breed as aggressive as the Chinese Fireball wasn't likely to stray too far from her eggs. However, this would make Harry a lot more maneuverable and fast, as well as potentially letting him fly very far from the range of the creature's fiery breath. All of that could be useful.

He realized that he might should have called for the broom first, as it had to travel the better part of a kilometer from the school to reach him. Harry supposed they could have stashed it much closer before hand.

Oh well, it was something to learn from.

There was a wave of heat as the dragon launched yet another blast at the rock Harry was crouching behind.

He was relieved when Sheila came rocketing into sight, and Harry leapt onto her once she was near enough. He didn't care how often Pansy made fun of him for naming his broom; she deserved to be treated with the utmost care if she helped him survive against a dragon.

Harry had an inane thought that this could be a great advertising opportunity: Firebolt versus Fireball! If only he had the forethought to try to set something up with the company. He loved the broom after all, and the magical world couldn't really have a bigger celebrity endorsement than the boy-who-lived.

Maybe Colin Creevey could get him a good photo and he could approach them afterwards.

If Pansy knew what was going on in Harry's head as he flew up and out of the reach of the dragon's flames, she would be screaming at him.

-oOoOoOo-

It turned out that she was screaming at that very moment anyway. Most of the crowd around her was as well. Harry and his damn broom. They were going to give her a heart attack one of these days.

Then Pansy understood what Luna had been talking about earlier as she saw Harry point his wand at the dragon.

"Expecto Patronum!"

His silvery dragon burst forth and flew towards the red and gold Chinese Fireball.

She snorted briefly as she realized that Harry was having to face the dragon that shared Gryffindor's colors. Of course he was. Things like that always made her want to slap someone.

Luna was cackling with glee though, and that made her glance briefly over at the girl. Pansy thought back to last spring, as Luna had said something about a dragon flying over the quidditch pitch during Harry's next match, and Harry introducing it to his draconic Patronus.

Well, this might be as close to quidditch as Harry got this year. Pansy could only shake her head at the absurdity of her boyfriend making a private joke at a moment like this just to please Luna.

She assumed he would argue that it was also a distraction, but she knew that deep in his heart, Harry did it more for Luna than any other reason. That's just how he was. Harry could be just as ridiculous as anyone else at times.

But then she had to smile as not only was the dragon confused by its spectral counterpart, but the crowd was also shouting and not paying nearly enough attention as something black flew into Harry's empty hand.

-oOoOoOo-

The draconic Patronus was doing its job as Harry took a quick glance to see exactly how much attention the judges were paying to him, and all of them seemed to have their eyes more on the two dragons, real and invoked.

It was just the chance he needed, so he cast the summoning charm one last time.

He used his wand again, but did not speak the words aloud. Harry wasn't sure how well this part of the plan would work, but so far he hadn't needed to use any of the defensive spells for dealing with the dragon's breath, so that at least was a point in his favor.

As he weaved about in the sky, keeping one eye on the Chinese Fireball, Harry watched the other direction as he awaited the object that he soon saw streaking towards him. His left hand reached out and caught it.

The sorting hat.

Harry wasn't certain if this would work again, but if he was in need of the sword of Godric Gryffindor for dealing with a basilisk, then surely he could use its help once again when facing a dragon.

And then Harry had to smile in spite of the metal handle of the sword bonking him on the top of the head.

"Hello again, Mr. Potter."

"Hi. Do me a favor and stay up nice and high so I won't have any trouble seeing the dragon."

"You want me to ride atop your head while you take on a dragon? You certainly are a Gryffindor."

"I figure that I kind of owe you for helping to deal with the basilisk, so I shouldn't just drop you in the dirt after pulling out the sword."

"I appreciate that," the hat replied. Unknown to Harry, the hat's mouth broke out into a grin.

"Good, well, I need to concentrate now, so please don't distract me."

Harry took the sorting hat's silence as an agreement.

Now it was time for him to really get to work.

-oOoOoOo-

"I can't believe him," Granger shrieked from the other side of Luna. "Is he really wearing the sorting hat to face a dragon?"

Pansy was muttering and shaking her head in disbelief. She knew he wanted to try to summon the sword, but this was unbelievable, even by Harry's standards.

"Pansy, please don't take this the wrong way," Luna managed to say in between giggles, "but I really love Harry right now."

The blonde had barely paused from laughing at Harry casting his draconic Patronus at the real dragon when the sorting hat flew into his hands, and now she had tears of mirth streaming down her face. Pansy understood even better a part of their friendship now- things occasionally got noticeably weirder around Harry at times like this, and the strange little Ravenclaw girl greatly approved of such madness.

(She was really going to have to stop thinking of Luna as little though. Harry could get away with it, but Pansy was now shorter than her, and that was maybe the one thing she really didn't like about her. At least Luna never gave Harry any of the looks that she had seen from some of the other blondes that had infuriated her so much.)

Anyway, Pansy supposed that a bit of madness wasn't so bad if it helped dispel some of the danger Harry was constantly plagued with.

Then Pansy almost fainted as she saw Harry do something so insane that she wanted to strangle him.

While the Chinese Fireball was still roaring at his Patronus, Harry flew right at the beast.

-oOoOoOo-

He just knew that Pansy would want to kill him for this, but Harry saw his opportunity and took it.

The dragon was still confused by its ghostly opponent, so Harry flew wide around one side with the sword held in his left hand. Then he dove in toward the creature's wing and slashed at it.

He pulled up as fast as he could as the Fireball let loose a shriek of pain and swung around to face him, launching a fireball his way.

"Protego!"

The shield charm wouldn't last long against the dragon's flames, but he only needed a second to get further away from it and back out of the range of the beast's breath.

It worked well enough, and Harry was then swerving around through the sky, never staying still long enough for the dragon to focus much of an attack on him.

Now the only question was what he should do next. He wished that he had worked harder at the idea of conjuring something to attract the dragon's attention. If only Fawkes would swoop in to blind the dragon like he had the basilisk, Harry could just head right for the nest.

But the legendary bird of fire was not making an appearance that day, so Harry continued circling the arena, looking for his next opportunity.

-oOoOoOo-

"What the fucking hell is he doing?" Pansy screamed.

"That was not part of the plan," Luna admitted.

"Really, Luna," Hermione groaned. "You're saying that Harry never told any of us about a ridiculous idea to try to attack a dragon at close range. We all should have known he would do something like this."

"Why?"

"It's Harry, that's why. Who else has anything close to the insanity in their lives like he does? This is the same person that had two different people cast the killing curse at him while in school last year."

"From the same worthless family too," Pansy added. She could now think a bit clearer as Harry had pulled back out of the dragon's range and was circling around defensively. "I need to thank him again for cleansing the country of the Malfoys."

"He didn't do anything to Draco's mother though," Hermione suggested.

"Actually, he did."

"What?" Hermione screeched. "He went after a grieving mother too? I don't believe that; Harry wouldn't do such a thing."

"Not like that, Granger. He talked her into leaving the country shortly before we came back to school. With all the Death Eater activity at the Quidditch World Cup, Harry wanted to warn her in case the "old gang" decided that Malfoy Manor would make a good headquarters."

"That's probably good thinking," Luna said. "I've heard the family was incredibly wealthy and their home was proof of it."

"It was definitely large enough to house a whole lot of mask-wearing terrorists."

"Harry came up with that by himself?"

"Don't act so surprised, Granger," Pansy snorted in derision. "Harry has plenty of good ideas.

"Besides, having the sword as a fall back option if the dragon got too close was always something he was thinking of doing. We all know how resistant to magic dragons are. I just don't want to watch him actually try to kill one with a sword."

"Even if it works?" Luna asked.

"My heart may give out if I have to watch much more of this."

"Don't be overly dramatic, Pansy," Luna chided her. "It doesn't suit you...

"Oh my!"

Her blonde friend's shout was nothing compared to the strain Pansy felt. Her fingernails were once again cutting into the palms of her hands.

"I can't believe he did it again," she moaned as she closed her eyes.

'Please don't die out there, Harry.'

-oOoOoOo-

It took Harry awhile to really see it, but after what seemed like much longer than the minute or so it took, the Chinese Fireball was definitely slowing down. Its head was also drooping a bit as it roared and tried to fire off one more blast at him, even though he was more than far away enough for it to be unable to reach him.

When he circled around again and the beast's head swung in the wrong direction to keep him in sight, Harry flew down and slashed at its other wing. A bit of blood splashed up onto his arm.

The Fireball let out another pained shriek as it stumbled on the ground, apparently no longer able to fly, not that it had ever been willing to move more than about thirty or maybe forty feet away from the nest in the first place.

Harry backed off then. You never wanted to push a dangerous animal when it was wounded and desperate.

But something strange was happening. The dragon was staggered, shuffling slowly as it gave out a few more roars that were noticeably lessening in intensity. It was as if the beast was dying right before Harry's eyes.

And a moment later, the dragon keeled over and fell into the dirt.

Harry was so shocked that he just sat there on his broom for a few moments. The crowd's reaction was widely varied, a few boos, some cheers, but mostly just mutters of disbelief. He composed himself and flew down to the nest, keeping an eye on the dragon just in case this was the world's most unbelievable version of playing dead. But it did not stir as Harry picked up the golden egg and flew over to the exit as the dragon handlers swarmed into the arena to investigate just how the Chinese Fireball had expired.

-oOoOoOo-

"Is that it?"

Weasley's annoying voice broke the silence near Pansy, who turned to look down the aisle at him with fury. Luna once again held onto her hand though, so Pansy was unable to go for her wand to start cursing the worthless bastard.

"Let's go see Harry," Luna said as she squeezed her hand to draw attention to what was more important than vendettas against Harry's former friend.

"Good idea," Granger said as she stood and led the three of them down to the tent off to the side where Harry had gone.

They had to push past a couple of reporters who were trying to get in to ask questions. Pansy had her wand out by then though, and threatened anyone who stood between her and her lord with pain worse than death.

The rest of Harry's year mates were following fairly close behind, and Neville Longbottom once again wondered why such a nice guy like Harry hung out with someone as terrifying as Pansy.

He slowed down and decided to let the girls go in first. Hanging back a bit, further away from the scary witch sounded like a much better idea than charging in to give Harry a pat on the back. Most of the other Gryffindors did the same; but Ron Weasley did not have that same sense of self-preservation, and Neville could only shake his head as he watched Harry's former best mate shove on past the others.

-oOoOoOo-

"I'm fine, seriously Madam Pomfrey." Harry lifted his arms and turned his body in a full circle. "Look, my robes aren't even singed."

"I've heard you claim to be fine too many times, young man." The healer waved her wand around a couple of times as she fussed over him, but just as Harry had claimed, her diagnostic spells all came back negative. "Well, surprisingly it looks to be true for once. It would be nice to not have to see you in my infirmary one of these years."

"Now that we can definitely agree on," Harry grinned.

"So, what exactly happened out there Mr. Potter? And would you please take that silly hat off!"

"I am not a silly hat."

"Oh do be quiet Eugene."

"Eugene?" Harry asked as he removed the sorting hat from his head and set it down on a nearby bed that he was happily not going to be needing. He slid the ancient Gryffindor blade back inside it as well- he never knew when he might need to pull a sword out of a hat, but it was certainly a better trick than a simple rabbit.

"He refuses to tell us his real name, so we all have to guess. I called him Eugene first many years ago."

"Why Eugene?" Harry asked.

"I was fresh out of training as a healer when I started working at Hogwarts. I was young and flustered and it was the first thing that came out."

"She has called me Eugene ever since. Don't feel too bad though, Poppy, it was hardly the worst guess I've heard. But if someone ever actually guesses my name correctly, the pot will be lost," the sorting hat replied.

"The pot?" Harry wished Luna was here. This was the type of conversation that was right up her alley.

"When Godric created me all those years ago, he thought it would be amusing to try to make everyone who worked at the school guess my name. No one ever has."

"There is a ten galleon entrance fee," Pomfrey said with a scowl. "All employees of the school have to pay it when they first start here, if they can't afford it it is deducted from their pay."

"That's crazy," Harry replied with a look of disbelief.

"What is?" a familiar dreamy voice asked from over his shoulder.

"Ah, Luna, just the girl I was hoping could join us. We're discussing the sorting hat's unknown name."

"Can I guess?"

"Only school employees, I'm afraid miss Lovegood," the hat replied.

"Oh poo, that's no fun."

"Why exactly is there a gambling pot about your name?" Harry asked. Pansy and Hermione were both looking on quietly, one clearly annoyed at all of the people gathered around and the other obviously fascinated at getting to hear the sorting hat having something to say other than just singing a song once a year.

"My old friend Godric was a bit of a drinker," the hat began to explain. "He thought it would be funny to try to make the other founders guess at the name he had come up with, and when none of them succeeded, his joke turned into an idea. Now that there was this pile of gold just sitting there, he recognized that he could do some good with it. And thus was the beginning of the Hogwarts scholarship fund."

"But, I thought you said there was a pot that could be lost." Now Harry was really confused.

"Technically, there is a vault with thousands of galleons that would go to a winner if they ever actually discovered my name. But, I assure you that is incredibly unlikely. For you see, drunken lech he may have been, but Godric was also brilliant, and he picked a truly unique name. Therefore, once he had a couple of decades with the gold piling up as they took on new staff, he decided to start spending it when he needed to on those students who were truly destitute.

"There have been many good souls who have followed in his footsteps ever since, and it has grown immensely as many have put back portions of their pay to help with the scholarship fund. Professor Dumbledore, for example, has put thousands of galleons into it by himself. After all, no one goes into the teaching profession to try to get rich."

"I could argue that Lockhart the fraud did exactly that, forcibly extracting hundreds of sales of his books."

"That is unfortunately true, but thankfully the damage he did to the school was minimal other than that bit of extortion."

Harry had to smile at the hat's agreement that Lockhart was a con man.

But then Ron had to butt in and bring the conversation to a halt.

"See, I knew Harry would handle this just fine," he said as he strolled up to them with a smarmy grin.

Harry saw Pansy tensing, with her wand in hand, while Luna was on her other side, whispering in her ear and clearly trying to keep her friend calm. Hermione was goggling at Ron's attitude- hadn't the prat seen the dragon try to roast Harry alive? That would have been the scariest thing she had ever seen if not for all the other times she had witnessed Harry's life in danger.

But Harry wasn't surprised by any of this. Ron was too self-absorbed and immature, which would have been fine for an acquaintance, but not when he had willingly placed Harry's life in more danger by refusing to pass on Charlie's warning about the dragons just because he was feeling like a petty son of a bitch for the last month.

"What are you doing here, Ron?"

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you too important to hang out with your old friends? Or are only girls that fawn all over you allowed in your presence now?"

Luna was now holding Pansy by both arms as she struggled, obviously wanting to hex the ginger into the middle of next week. Harry stepped in front of her to keep Pansy from doing anything that would get her in detention for the rest of the year.

"Heard from Charlie lately, Ron? The twins told me you had and that you refused to warn me about the dragons because you've been having a little jealous fit for the last few weeks." Ron flushed red and Harry could see him about to blow his top.

"Save it, Ron, I don't want to hear anything else from you. You've been envious of me for a long time, and I usually would let it go. But when my life is in danger and wallowing in your bad mood is more important than me, our friendship is over."

"Screw you, Harry!" Ron had his fists balled up and Harry thought he might even take a swing at him, but instead he just turned and stomped off, pushing past the gaping crowd behind him.

"Finally," Pansy muttered. Harry turned and saw her expression, still a bit angry, but a smirky little grin now gracing her face. He had to agree now, Ron was just not worth worrying over anymore.

Professor McGonagall stepped inside the tent, just after her voice was heard yelling at Ron to watch where he was going.

"Mr. Potter, the judges are ready to reveal your scores."

-oOoOoOo-

Harry was pretty surprised as he walked back up to the castle. He was in the lead after the first task. Three different judges had all awarded him ten points, and after he had slayed a dragon, come out unharmed, performed some impressive magic and flying, all while finishing the task faster than the other two contestants, that was probably understandable.

The fact that those three judges were Bagman, Crouch, and Karkaroff of all people was not. Dumbledore and Maxime had scored him well too, and hilariously Dumbledore's seven was his lowest mark. But then, Hagrid was bawling his eyes out over the dead dragon, and the headmaster was probably going to have to console the silly giant over the whole affair.

Harry wondered if that was another old friendship that he might be losing now. Hagrid was obsessed about magical creatures, and the more dangerous the better, which meant dragons were pretty much his favorite thing in the world.

But that wasn't too important at the moment. He had to decide how long he was willing to be sociable for the rest of the day. He looked at his watch and realized that it was only a couple of hours till dinner, so he guessed he could manage that much and just call it an early night after the meal.

His nerves were a bit shot after the stressful afternoon anyway.

However, he did make a brief detour to his quarters to change and let Pansy try to snog him silly. She agreed that they probably should not just hide away all afternoon, but told Harry that he needed to keep plenty of energy in reserve for their own more personal celebration later that night.

And that was definitely something he could agree to.

-oOoOoOo-

The festivity in the Gryffindor tower ended up being a lot of fun, even with Ron sulking in a corner for most of it. Harry wasn't really the life of the party type, but Luna was such a blast that she kept him from wanting to just call the whole thing off and disappear with Pansy for a week or two. Seeing Hermione loosen up and relax was nice too; she was doing a lot better this year without the time turner and extra stress of a too-full schedule.

Harry had to refrain from eating too many sweets during the party. He didn't want to ruin dinner nor deal with a sugar crash later. So, he handed half the various treats people kept plying him with to Luna. She seemed to be able to eat anything she wanted.

The Gryffindor table in the Great Hall was basically still carrying on the revelry during the evening meal. Harry tried to relax and let the chaos just wash over him. This turned out to be a more helpful thing when he headed back to the tower, as several people thought he looked tired, so it was much simpler to convince everyone that he needed to get some rest after such an excitement-filled day.

Harry found it easy to ignore the disappointed looks as he bowed out of more partying that night to slip into his quarters, with Pansy following along behind him as always.

Neither of them noticed that one particular set of dark eyes watched them go, full of longing to join them.

-oOoOoOo-

Pansy had Dobby help her clear the center of their room as Harry was made to sit down on the couch. He was told to wait for a moment as she went to change.

A familiar drum beat made him turn his head as Pansy had picked such an obvious song. But then he saw her come out in the shortest plaid skirt he could imagine, with a white shirt that she was only using two buttons of tied just below her breasts, which called attention to her cleavage even as her green bra peeked out. She had thigh high stockings and black heels on as she strutted over towards him in time with the music.

Pansy was a vision of the quintessential naughty schoolgirl.

She danced and bent and swayed in front of him, showing off the contours of her body in a hundred different ways, every single one of them making him as aroused as he had ever been. She slowly removed the outfit piece by piece, and by the time the chorus came along, Harry wanted more than ever to 'fuck her like an animal.'

Pansy knew what she was doing too, as she continued to tease him, pushing him back down to his seat with her foot when he tried to stand up or reach for her. By the time she turned around and slid her panties down, giving him a perfect view of her delicious arse, Harry would not be denied any longer.

"I drink the honey inside your hive" could not be a more perfect line as he started to devour her.

She shuddered as he dove tongue-first into her. Pansy was never going to get tired of how much Harry enjoyed oral sex.

He wasn't the only one who was immensely turned on though, and she was coming sooner than she imagined she would, but then Harry knew her body better than she did in some ways. Specifically, the ways that made her feel incredible. She couldn't remember the last time she touched herself. When would she ever need to do so with him always so eager to please?

As her spasming core started to relax, she felt Harry crawl behind her and slide inside. Pansy was glad he had gotten the hint as she really enjoyed doggy style when she felt so overwhelmingly excited like this. She let out a pleased yelp as he started thrusting into her vigorously. Harry was more likely to be the dominant one now of his own accord, and she loved him for it as he pistoned into her over and over again.

Pansy was surprised when he stopped and pulled out, but before she could complain she felt his lips on her again, licking and suckling at her clit. He wrung another orgasm out of her, and soon she felt her legs shivering. He kept going though, and she was begging him to stop, to let her rest.

But instead, his tongue just slid in between the cheeks of her arse, and then she felt him licking her there.

"Oh God, Harry!"

It felt good, if a bit strange, but she was just so turned on by the idea of him wanting to do that to her. She felt her pussy getting even wetter as he did this, despite him not actually paying it any attention just then. She enjoyed it for a moment, but Pansy really needed him inside her again.

"Fuck me, Harry! Now!"

He chuckled with his mouth still pressed up against her puckered hole and she shivered, but he pulled away. Harry was back inside her then, hammering away, and Pansy was soon feeling intoxicated by the almost unbearable amount of pleasure coursing through her. It was as if she was on the edge of yet another orgasm, and it just dragged on and on, an endless lusty plateau. Finally, the spark hit and shockwave after shockwave pulsed through her, as a thoroughly amazing orgasm stretched out leaving her clenching her fists.

It was a couple of moments later before Harry burst inside her, his hips pounding into her a few final times, and Pansy closed her eyes as she collapsed onto the ground when he released his hold on her. She felt completely shattered.

She heard him gasping for breath as he crumpled next to her. She turned her head and saw Harry laying on his back next to her.

"Fuck," his voice was low and gravelly. "That was awesome."

"Yes it was."

Pansy rolled over and listened to the sound of both of them trying to catch their breath. Once she felt like she might be able to stand, she got up and went over to the record player. She grinned as the droning beginning of 'Prayers for Rain' started and stalked back across the room to Harry.

He had a goofy smile on his face as he looked up at her, and she smirked as his eyes focused right between her legs. Harry was so easy, and she was glad of it. She stood right over him, egging him on, and tapped one foot next to his face.

"I hope you realize we're not even close to done," she teased.

"Of course."

"Take my shoes off." Harry reached up to steady her calf as he began his task while she balanced.

"The stockings stay on though," he insisted as she sat down to straddle him. Pansy giggled at that as Harry leaned up to kiss her. She stroked along his jaw as she pulled back to question him.

"Why did you stop in the middle like that?"

"I felt like I was about to come, and I didn't want to yet."

"Why not?"

"It was more fun to draw it out a bit," Harry explained with a small shrug. "I mean, orgasms are awesome, but I tend to like them more when there's a nice build up. Plus, you know I love eating you out."

"Oh, I know." She wriggled a bit, as she felt him stirring again, and he leered up at her. Harry rolled them over and lifted her legs up. He set her feet on his shoulders as he caressed down her legs, and then pushed back inside her.

Her desire was reignited, and she briefly wondered if they might actually make it to the bedroom before the next round. But all thoughts were driven out a moment later as Harry's hands were rubbing up and down her legs, and she began to clench again, spilling over into the bliss of another orgasm.

They were both going to be sore the next day at this rate, but surviving a dragon could only be celebrated properly by shagging their brains out.