FicWad

When he looked back a few hours later, Zack could honestly say that it had come out of nowhere. There had been no hints, no signs, no evidence, nothing at all. No one had warned him, or thought to slip it into casual conversation.

Maybe that just meant it was normal. Maybe it wasn't something a person used to it bothered to think about over a bottle of single malt and a pack of cigarettes. His only company save for Tifa who was glancing at him every so often with looks of understanding and sympathy. It made him think that maybe it was a privileged secret, except it didn't feel like an honour.

Zack took a drag from the cigarette between his lips, coughing a bit, but not as much as when he'd started the pack. It had been years since he'd smoked. A habit he'd broken because Cloud had asked him to. He would have given the boy the Lifestream if he'd ever thought to request it. Move mountains, swim oceans. The tiny cadet had Zack wrapped around his pinkie finger, but never realized it.

And Cloud had driven him to take up the sweetly soothing habit again. Ironic.

Situations like these really made him miss Aerith. She had always been good at listening. She knew when to talk, when to keep quiet, and when to nod and make sympathetic noises.

Aerith was gone now.

Cloud had choked through an explanation detailing her death, avoiding his eyes and tightening his fists on the edge of the bar countertop. Zack had hated him just a little in that second, something he never would have considered possible. But he did. He'd hated her. Hated the world.

Zack could hear her laughing in his dreams sometimes, and the news of her passing wasn't as shocking as it should have been. It was more like a faraway memory from a past life he could only grasp the edges of, unable to hold it or study it for very long before it trickled through the cracks of his fingers like water.

But that sent him spinning off on a baffling trip, attempting to remember things he must have lost from the time he'd passed out on the plateau, and to the time he finally awoke near the Gold Saucer, trying to figure out where Cloud was. He'd sworn to Shiva and Odin and whoever else was paying attention that if one hair on that spiky blonde head was so much as out of place, he'd rip every single goon, guard, and executive involved with ShinRa to shreds.

Zack had stolen, lied, and bullied his way from the Saucer to Costa de Sol with no remorse over his actions, because it was for /Cloud/, the same Cloud who he'd do anything for. He'd snagged himself a job on a cargo ship heading to Junon, and from there had walked the back roads and paths until he reached the outskirts of Midgar, never resting for long before returning to his goal, his tunnel vision never fading. Zack's journey had taught him two things: ShinRa was no longer the prevailing power, and a great deal of time must have passed since the last time he had made the trek, the blank stare and dead weight of Cloud absent from his shoulder. It made the second round much faster, but lonelier all at once.

He hadn't let his guard down. Not this time. Not for a single second. He had to find Cloud. He had to.

He'd managed, through some divine miracle, to find his way back to the plateau where it had begun and ended only minutes apart.

---

He hadn't expected to find company, but there he was, laying flat on his back beside a rusted Buster Sword, passed down from mentor to student several times over, soaking up the sun like a cat.

He might have been asleep or in limbo or dead to anyone else, but Zack's mako enhanced eyes could see the sudden muscles tense in his shoulders and the way a hand creeped to his side to reach for a weapon.

Zack had been as quiet as a mouse, but Cloud Strife had still heard him as if he was an overexcited Chocobo.

"It's only me," Zack said softly, and the hand froze at the same time the chest ceased all movement. After a moment, Cloud sat up, stood, not turning around, but instead supporting his weight on an old and retired legacy.

Zack noticed the differences instantly. His shoulders were broader. He was taller by at least a head, a head and a half tops. His hair was the same. His stance was that of a tired warrior, and he could feel his heart constrict with love and longing.

The clothes were black and tight. Zack appreciated this.

Cloud slowly turned, and blue eyes as bright as Materia gazed back in disbelieving awe.

And, with no indications, Zack found himself flat on his back with his own sword pressed firmly to his throat, not quite sure how it happened, but pretty damn impressed all the same.

"Who are you?" Cloud asked, voice hard and eyes iced over.

"Dude, Cloudy -- Spike -- You know who I am. Zack. Old buddy, old pal?" Zack attempted a grin but the sword dug deeper and the cold eyes narrowed.

"This is some trick," Cloud spat out, voice laced with pain. "I don't know who you're working for, or why you're here, but coming after me? Dressed as him? That's low." Cloud stood taller, and the sun glinted gold off his spikes.

"Hey now! It's me, Zack! Come on, man. Believe in me. I wouldn't make this shit up."

"Liar." His stare was detached, but fury and fire lurked beneath. "Zachary Donovan is dead. I watched as they killed him. I watched as they emptied round after round into his chest, right here, on this very spot. So I suggest getting your facts straight before coming after me pretending to be him." Cloud's blue eyes were wide now, with the rage spreading over his features like liquid heat, a look that Zack didn't like and couldn't recognize.

"Cloud --"

"This is sick. It's twisted, and wrong, and even if they isn't going to stop the bad guys it would be since to meet someone hell bent on killing me with manners for once. I want to know who the fuck sent you so I can --"

Zack prayed his plan would work. Cloud might, and could probably easily apply some serious hurt before he'd even gotten the chance to start over again, side by side and facing the world. " -- we're friends, right?"

The ranting man froze with words of hatred falling silent on his lips, and it looked to Zack like he might be suddenly sick at any moment. He found his chance rolling away, standing and brushing off the back of his ratty jeans and looking right into the pale faced friend he'd risked everything for.

"How did you -- How could you," Cloud stopped and took a deep breath, bracing himself and digging his heels into the ground. "I never told anyone about that." His voice was a whisper, but he still refused to let his guard down. Zack felt proud. His Cloud had grown up, and grown up well at that. He paused for a moment to rake his eyes up and down the formerly lanky body, now transformed into something even tastier. He took a step forward, keeping his gaze steady on those eyes he used to know better than his own reflection, eyes that now glowed and hid a stranger.

"Look," he said, holding up his hands in surrender, "I've got no weapons and I'm not here to hurt you. Fuck, never. But I... I mean... Oh shit." Zack ran a hand through his hair, making it stick out higher than before. "Okay, here's the deal. I woke up a little while ago in the desert. A month or two, I think. It's all sorta blurry. And you were no where in sight. I looked, fuck, I looked everywhere, but no one even knew where I'd come from. Hell, I didn't know where I'd come from at that point. So I've been looking for you ever since. It didn't take me long to realize ShinRa wasn't chasing us anymore. Then I realized ShinRa was gone, which took a while to process. Cause, I mean, it's ShinRa! But that made it a bit easier, you know? I was able to get a couple odd jobs that helped me get back to Midgar because all I knew was that I had to find you and keep you safe. That's all I could think about. But I had to be sneaky. Just in case. I wasn't making anymore stupid mistakes. And I swear, I wasn't even trying to find this spot again. I did though. And there you were. And, uh... Please put the sword down?" Zack flashed an encouraging smile, but Cloud only swallowed hard instead. He could see the blonde's lower lip was trembling.

"You're Zack." It was a statement instead of a question. Cloud's face had gone blank and devoid of emotion, but he still managed to hold the weapon up with only a slight tremor.

"Live and in person."

"You swear." Cloud was beginning to look slightly desperate, with a healthy dose of scepticism lacing his voice.

"On my mother's grave, I swear I'm The Zack."

"Your mother is alive."

"Oh. Really? I mean, that's great. Huh. I should probably go see them soon. Let them know why I've been missing in action since I was eighteen. But the last few totally weren't my fault!" Zack's trademark grin appeared, wide and full of mischief, and Cloud finally lowered the sword.

He turned around and shoved it back into the dusty earth, wedging it deeply down and taking care to make sure it was straight and sturdy. His hand lingered on the hilt for a moment, before he turned back to Zack.

"How long has it been? My sense of time is all messed."

Cloud was silent for a moment before he answered the question. "Eight years, give or take. Since Niblehiem. Almost three and a half since you died."

"You're shitting me! That's impossible! It can't have been that long."

"I wish I was."

"So, I'm how old now, twenty-six?"

"Twenty-seven. Your birthday was last month."

"Fuck!" Zack crossed his arms and glared at the grey city a few miles away, eyes shooting arrows.

Cloud winced as if a familiar headache had suddenly came rushing back like a trooper home from a horrible war. "Let's get something straight. I still don't trust you. I don't know if I even believe you yet. And if it turns out that you're going to try and double-cross me, you won't be living to regret it. Are we clear?"

Zack blinked, and stuck out his bottom lip. "Wow. I'm so totally feeling the love here. Yeah, fine. I'll convince you. I just have to get drunk and do something stupid. It'll be like old times, with you dragging me home and lecturing me on my drinking limits!"

Cloud sighed and started walking towards the large motorcycle Zack hadn't noticed until just then. He straddled it, flipping switches and making her purr like a kitten. Zack felt himself fall in love once again, adding a tally to the unending score board he kept in his head. She was beautiful. Magical. A work of art. He wanted to stroke her, worship her, take care of her until he was old and grey and couldn't do anything but admire.

The ex-mercenary was about to put on his goggles when he noticed that the newly resurrected man was standing six feet away in a blissful daze. He rolled his eyes at the blank stare and slightly slack jawed expression. It was nothing new.

"Get on, Zack."

"Pretty. Shiny. Can I marry her?"

"She's taken," Cloud said, eyes lighting up a little. "Besides, the Zack I know doesn't tie himself down to any woman."

"The Zack has an exception to every rule. Would you considering loaning her to me for an illicit affair?"

"Get on the damn bike."

"Can I drive?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

---

He'd met Cloud's group of very odd and mismatched friends. Tifa had recognized him, letting out a shriek while dropping an entire case of brand new drinking glasses on the floor when he'd popped out from behind Cloud with a shout of greeting.

After three more similar death threats from Barret, the creepy Vincent character, and the Yuffie girl, they'd grudgingly settled down and Zack was able to have a truly wonderful first sip of alcohol after eight years of sobriety.

---

"You never know how much you appreciate the good stuff until you go so fucking long without it. Shiva bless that SOLDIER endurance, eh Cloudy?" Zack smirked and took another gulp of whatever was in his glass. He'd stopped keeping track about four drinks ago.

Cloud nodded and stared down at his own shot of some strange glowy purple concoction. Zack wanted one.

"So, I was thinking, tomorrow how about you and me go for a walk? There's this girl I want to hunt down in Sector 5. She's probably hanging around that old church. You might remember me telling you about her. Aerith? She's one hell of a girl man. A real good friend. Hey, we should all --"

Zack was cut off when, without warning, the sound of glass crushing against glass and bone reached his ears. He looked over, surprised and concerned as the impassive Cloud watched the purple drink and blood mixing together to ooze down his arm. Tifa sighed, and pulled Cloud's hand to her, picking out the glass and looking at both men with sadness in her eyes. Zack found himself shocked silent, but Cloud didn't even flinch as Tifa wrapped his hand in a cloth. He was mute for a few minutes, before turning to look at his companion.

"I knew Aerith. She was... I knew her." Cloud closed his eyes and Zack could see him swallow heavily. "Zack, she's gone."

"Gone? Like, on a trip?" Before he even said it, Zack knew the words sounded foolish. He wasn't stupid. He got what Cloud had meant.

"Zack..."

"Son of a bitch. Aerith. I mean. No. Why? How?" Zack's head dropped to his chest and his ran a hand through his hair. "Not Aerith."

Cloud was silent for a minute before answering. "She was murdered." He winced, and shook his head, as if trying to dispel the memory. Avoiding Zack's eyes, his hands came up to grip at the edge of the counter until his knuckles went white.

"Who? Who would hurt a flower girl?"

"Sephiroth."

---

It had taken most of the night, but Cloud had gone through the entire saga. It was hard to believe. It sounded more like something out of an adventure story.

AVALANCHE. The reactors. The city of the Ancients. The Black Materia. Sephiroth. WEAPON. Holy. The Lifestream. Losing himself in stolen memories.

After the tale was over, Zack had fallen into bed half drunk and desperately trying to hold back his emotions. Aerith was /dead/. His parents thought he was dead. People and places he used to know and care about were gone forever. It was all just so /wrong/.

Cloud had been in love with Aerith. From the sound of it, she had loved him back.

Cloud didn't remember him.

---

"I remember you, as a person. I remember you were my best friend, pretty much my only friend. I remember how I met you, and I remember how you died. There's some almost clear stuff I haven't put together yet, but the truth of it is... I just don't remember the in-between. Adventures and training sessions and you getting me into trouble and then bailing me out. I know it happened, but I don't remember."

---

That had come as a shock and a blow to the heart. The two people he loved most weren't around anymore. Aerith was gone and Cloud was so different.

Zack had fallen asleep smelling flowers on his pillow and thinking about boyish blue eyes.

---

"What's shaking, doll?"

"It's about time. I've been looking for you everywhere. EVERYWHERE!"

"Woah, woah. Calm down. What's the rush? You need to relax. It's not like we're going anywhere."

"You are."

Faded. Muffled. Can't remember. Focus, focus!

"He needs you more than he needs me."

"He barely remembers me."

"So you have to make him."

Don't leave, beautiful. Stay here.

"He needs you to show him how to be happy again." Can't process, can't understand. "I can hear him calling for you inside his heart, even if he can't."

Wake up!

--

After that, the days were long and lazy. Weeks passed by and Zack had finally gathered his balls and gotten up the nerve to visit the little church. It was different. It'd looked like one hell of a fight had gone on, the large patch of flowers reduced to almost nothing. Instead, there was a pool of water that sparkled in the sunlight. He sat there for a while just watching before Cloud had shown up. He'd nodded with simple understanding, and they'd both stuck their feet in the small pond, feeling the tickle of the water while Cloud told him of Kadaj and Sephiroth's return and the geostigma.

Then Cloud told him about seeing... Him. Walking away into the white light with the spirit of Aerith, and Zack could only stare because... That meant he had really been dead.

And now he wasn't. Something else to contemplate.

It had been two months since he'd been 'back', and Zack found himself learning all sorts of new things about Cloud's friends. Yuffie had an obsession with Materia. Vincent was older than he looked, but would never age. Cid was the perfect drinking buddy, and he was able to recall long forgotten drinking songs from Wutai and Kalm. Tifa didn't appreciate their musical skills, and usually dumped ice water on their heads if they got too loud. Sometimes she tended to do it just because she felt like it.

Barret had a small daughter who hero worshiped her father and Cloud, and was never far from the side of her little friend Denzel. The kids both lived above the bar, three doors down from Zack's own room. They were a family, and Zack was starting to find his own place with them.

Which, of course, meant everything was bound to go wrong.

It was a typical night. He and Cid had been exchanging war stories when...

--

The bang of the door opening and slamming shut again made Zack jolt up in his seat. A quartet of people crowded in through the door, and everyone in the room groaned. He tilted back on his bar stool until he could see faces, and his jaw dropped open slightly.

Turks.

Zack had always been on semi-decent terms with the Turks, ignoring them as long as they in turn ignored him back. He knew a few personally, like the red head and the bald one. Reno and Rude, never apart. The other two, a blonde woman who's face he recalled from a helicopter and of course, Tseng, he wasn't actually acquainted with. They grabbed the table closest to the bar, sitting down with moans of appreciation. Tifa had already loaded up a tray with a variety of drinks and was setting it down in front of them. Zack was thankful for his enhanced hearing and the luck that he was sitting close enough to their table to be able to eavesdrop.

Tifa smiled and passed Rude a whiskey. "Well, if it isn't tall, dark, and handsome. What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

Rude smiled back slightly, and jerked his head in the direction of the red head. Reno snarled in disgust as he noticed the slight flush on the other Turk's face.

Reno turned around, scanning the room and nursing his drink, until he found the familiar blonde head at one of the back booths. He grinned, and turned back to his coworkers.

"Evening, Lockhart. How's life?" He winced and glared at the blonde woman. "Fuck Elena, stop kicking me. I just said hello."

A steely glare. "What do you want Reno?"

"What do I always want?" Innocent green eyes stared back, but they were useless. She'd known him far too long.

"He's busy tonight. Come back some other time. Next year maybe."

"Do you know how to not be a bitch, Lockhart?" A palm slammed down on the table, and Reno glanced next to him to find his partner in crime looking down from behind dark glasses.

"Sorry. I forget that this one is off-limits." Reno clicked his tongue, and slid the empty glass back to Tifa. "Found 'im anyways. Thanks for the booze, yo. Have fun talking about rainbows and puppies. I'm out of here."

Tifa reached out suddenly, grabbing his sleeve. "Reno, I'm serious. Can you please leave him alone tonight?"

"Yeah. Right. I'll do that." Reno jerked his arm away, and strode across the bar floor.

Tifa rested her face on her palm, and took a deep breath. "This is going to get very ugly, very fast."

"Why?" Elena asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Tifa jerked her head towards the bar where Zack, who was obviously keeping one eye on the redhead, only half paying attention to Cid, was sitting. "Him."

Zack took that moment to glance over at the Turks and bare his teeth. Elena choked on her drink, Tseng froze, and Rude almost made an expression.

His attention returned to the booth in the back. He couldn't see Cloud's face because of the high-backed seats, but Reno was sprawled out just right, relaxing and acting like he owned the entire place anyways.

He blocked out Cid entirely, and strained to hear the conversation over the roar of the patrons.

"Hey Strife, I'm horny. Let's go upstairs and fuck."

Zack blinked.

"No."

"Oh, come on. We're finally back from that stupid trip to Corel. Do you know I almost died? Yeah. I was trying to save this kid in the well and I fell in. Broke my leg in three places."

"Really. You recovered awfully fast."

"Good healing." Reno thumped his hand against his heart and smirked.

"Whatever."

"I might have been kidnapped."

"Who'd want you?"

"That's just plain mean."

"That's life."

"Strife, it's been three months since I've had sex. Three months. You know how long that is in Reno years? Really fucking long! You haven't even been picking up your stupid fucking phone for fucking phone sex."

"I've never had phone sex with you."

"Yeah, but you used to at least answer and tell me no before cutting me off. What gives?"

"I've been busy."

"With what?"

"Stuff. None of your business."

"Why?"

"Reno, my best friend just walked back in from the cold clutches of death. I've been preoccupied."

Reno stared for a moment, looking oddly like he was thinking. "What, the SOLDIER? He's dead, yo."

"He's at the bar, yo."

Reno tilted his head out of the booth, and saw Zack looking back at him. His face went pale as he swore too low for Zack to make out. He raised his voice again and shouted across the bar. "Hey, that whole, you know... Hunting you down and trying to kill you thing... Water under the bridge, right?"

Zack stared straight ahead, not moving in the slightest.

Reno leaned back against the leather seat once more. "Ker-fuck, I'm screwed."

"Cloud! Can you take out the garbage for me!" Tifa's voice floated across the room, and Reno glared at her. Cloud, of course, got up to help her out. Reno lit a cigarette and frowned at the ceiling. Zack counted exactly thirty seconds before he put it out on the table and walked out the front door.

Several audible sighs of relief could be heard, which made Zack smile. It wasn't the presence of the Turks these people disliked. It was Reno himself. He could understand that. He didn't think he liked Reno much either.

He told Cid he was going to the bathroom, but instead took a turn and ended up in the back alley to see if Cloud needed some help. He rounded the dumpster and stopped dead in his tracks.

Cloud had Reno pinned against a wall, one hand closed over both of his wrists, the other lifting Reno's leg for better leverage. Two sets of hips were grinding against each other. Cloud's mouth was firmly attached to the Turk's neck, and with the silence of the night, Zack could easily hear every groan and grunt.

He should go back inside. Pretend he had never seen this. Go to the bathroom, block it from his memory, and just act like it hadn't happened. Instead he backtracked until he couldn't been seen in the shadows. And watched.

Cloud let go of Reno's wrists and his now free hand slid down to unbuckle two belts. Reno shoved him away, pushing him across the alley until Cloud was the one with his back to the wall and Reno was the one in charge. They kissed, and that was probably the worst thing. The kiss wasn't harsh and angry and full of lust. It was soft. They were used to this. They were lovers who hadn't seen each other in months and couldn't wait to feel skin against skin any longer.

Reno slid down Cloud's body, unzipping the blonde and reaching inside to pull out a familiar and fully erect cock. He bent his head forward and mouthed the tip, licking and lapping like a man dying of thirst with a fresh pool of water. Cloud's head fell back against the brick wall with a sickening crack, but neither man called a halt to their activities.

They shifted, Reno moving out of sight, but Zack could still see the agony and ecstasy written clearly on Cloud's face as he was brought closer and closer to release. He tensed up suddenly, but Reno had moved away and was moving back up Cloud's body at a torturous pace. Their foreheads touched briefly as they visibly tried to catch their breath, and then Cloud turned to face the wall. Reno attached his teeth firmly to the nape of Cloud's neck, his movements suddenly becoming desperate and jerky as he tugged at Cloud's pants until they hung low enough for Reno to shove two slicked fingers inside.

Cloud hissed but thrust back anyways, and Reno's other hand drifted back down to his cock, teasing and giving whispering touches, but not enough to make him come. Cloud ground his teeth together. "Do it already, you fucker." Zack flinched at the needy tone weaving it's way through Cloud's words.

"Damn. If you say so." Licked at the slightly bloody tooth marks on Cloud's neck and stepped away so he was now only just barely touching Cloud's body, using both hands to completely undo his own pants. He fumbled for a second, and Zack could see his hands shaking with nerves or anticipation or something, and... He should really be looking away because this was sick and wrong and it hurt but he just had to see.

Reno pulled himself out of his pants and had himself up inside Cloud in record time, but neither moved for awhile as they adjusted. Everything about their body language indicated that this was a frequent occurrence, and Zack wondered why no one had bothered to mention it before he had to actually see it.

They were moving now, shallow thrusts and age old rhythm. Zack willed himself to turn around and leave but his feet wouldn't move and his eyes couldn't break the contact he had on the pair.

Cloud had one hand braced on the wall, and the second was reaching to his shoulder to grasp at the hand Reno had placed there, their fingers gripping and intertwining. Reno's other hand was firmly holding Cloud's cock, rubbing lightly at the head with his thumb as Cloud thrust forward into his palm.

Reno whispered a sequence of words that Zack couldn't really catch because he had stopped listening, but the phrases "Fuck yeah" and "Fucking missed you" found themselves in his ears and he finally closed his eyes in an attempt to block it all out.

He opened them again when he heard the breathing become shallow and the moans just that much louder. Reno was frantically thrusting deeper and hard now, and Cloud was all but plastered against the brick wall, coming in spurts on Reno's long fingers. Reno wasn't far behind, bucking Cloud up higher and higher until they were both sagged against the wall trying to catch their breath.

Cloud turned around in Reno's arms and they tried to clean themselves up a bit before Reno leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Cloud's lips. The blonde scrunched his nose, but was smiling and Zack finally figured out how to move his legs again and headed back inside.

The bar was quiet now, the rowdier crowd chased out while he was gone and Zack would have felt bad about abandoning Cid if he had been able to feel anything at that point. The Turks had left as well, and he only had to deal with a few uncaring stares.

"Give me a triple," he asked Tifa, staring at the bar counter as he sat down on his cold stool.

"Of?"

"Of whatever the hell your strongest stuff back there is. I don't give a rat's ass. Just get me drunk."

"What happened?" Tifa peered at him and set down a tumbler of amber liquid. Zack picked it up and sniffed it.

"Went to help Cloud with the trash. Reno was back there." He drained the drink in a single gulp and indicated to Tifa to keep them coming.

"Oh." She winced and turned her back to him.

Zack snorted and smiled grimly. "You knew."

"Not many people do. It's probably best to keep it quiet. Cloud likes his privacy, and Reno is... Reno. I'm sorry."

"What for? You didn't do anything wrong." Zack knocked back the second drink. Whatever this stuff was, it burned, but in that really good way that let him feel something other than numbness. He saw a discarded pack of cigarettes two seats over, and reached for them. There was a lighter inside and only three smokes were missing. Someone must have equipped him with a luck materia between the door and the bar.

---

Which brought him back full circle in his musings. Unfortunately, he was at the point in drinking where one finds themselves so drunk they were sober again, tossing the entire night to waste but unable to avoid the morning-after headache.

He took another drag off his cigarette and signalled Tifa over.

"You're a bartender, right? You listen to people?" he asked.

"When they need it. Or when I can't escape. Have something to get off your chest, trooper?" She smiled warmly. A mother's smile, a sister's smile. It reminded him or Aerith and how she used to sit patiently through his rants over whatever adorable thing Cloud had done that day that had him so frustrated he just wanted to bend the cadet over and have his way with him. Multiple times.

"You ever been in love, doll?" Zack asked.

Tifa tilted her head and looked sad. "I thought I was, once. But then I had to grow up, and it took the backburner in my life. When I pulled it out again to examine it, it was different. It wasn't meant to be."

"Cloud."

"Cloud. I held onto it for a long time. And then I had to get over it, because my chance was pretty much gone. There was Aerith, and it took him years to let go of her. When it wasn't Aerith, it was you. He tries so hard to remember you sometimes. You were the most important person in his life for so long. He knows, but it's all blank. And then when he'd finally realized you both forgave him, I thought, maybe now. Maybe this is my chance." Tifa sighed and looked down to examine her thumbnail.

"But by then he was sleeping with Reno." Zack lit another cigarette with the coal from his last one and passed it to her. She smiled and took a tiny drag.

"Yeah. I just didn't expect it. Who in their right mind would've? So one day Reno goes missing, which isn't really uncommon, because he's the least self disciplined person in existence and you can always find him drunk in an alley somewhere, but it had been three days and the Turks were beginning to think he was dead. Rude came by to ask Cloud to track him down before Tseng blew a gasket. Except by that point Cloud had been missing for a few days too. But neither of us connected them together. They were rivals to the bitter end in everything. We searched around and found Cloud checked in at the Walmarket inn, in one of the upper rooms. I ran up to get him, thinking he was punishing himself again and I'd have to snap him out of it, Rude followed me, and that's when we heard them. I think we stood there for ten minutes before it sank in. They both reappeared that night, and no one else ever figured it out. Reno's just taking advantage of him. Or blackmail. Something. I thought it would stop now that you were back. That Cloud would have the courage to tell him to back off. Or maybe castrate him. That would be nice."

Zack shook his head and laughed bitterly. "Whatever it is between them, there's feeling. I saw it. Maybe it's overshadowed by lust, but it's there. Somewhere."

"It isn't something either of us enjoy thinking about."

"Nope."

There was silence before Zack cleared his throat, looking hesitantly at the back stairs.

"Can you keep a secret?" Tifa smiled, nodded, and Zack closed his eyes. "You know the old train yard? The one that's almost impossible to get through without running into something to fight?" She nodded again, and leaned over the bar as Zack's voice got quieter and quieter. "That was the first place I kissed him."

---

"Why are you bringing me out here in the middle of the night? If I get caught out after hours, you know what the sergeant is going to do? You get me in trouble often enough as it is!" Cloud squirmed on the back of the motorcycle and shouted in Zack's ear. He could feel the younger boy shaking with laughter through their layers of clothing, so Zack didn't take him too seriously. He pulled into the old train yard, dodging through broken down cars and over ramps on the tracks.

He parked the bike where he could see it in the moonlight, wary of the thieves that roamed the sector but confident they weren't stupid enough to steal from a newly promoted SOLDIER First Class. He took off his helmet and tossed it to the ground, then turned to his friend. "It's the warmest night we've had in months! We deserve an adventure. And you have tomorrow off. Live a little, you stuck-up sourpuss."

Cloud squawked like a chocobo in mock anger, making a dive for Zack. The SOLDIER was too quick and danced easily out of the way, so Cloud just folded his arms across his chest and pouted.

Zack threw an arm around the younger boy, and they shoved at each other as they climbed up on top of one of the rusty cars. Zack could tell Cloud was only half surprised to find a blanket and a couple of the softer ShinRa issued pillows waiting for them, and he wagged his tongue at the cadet before flopping down on his stomach and shoving one of the pillows under his head. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep for about seven seconds before he got bored and peeked an eye open to see what his friend was up to.

Cloud had been laying on the other pillow, staring at the stars. The sky was oddly clear considering this was Midgar, the home of pollution and smog, but he eventually turned his head to look at Zack as he felt the hard stare being directed his way. Zack smiled, not his overwhelmingly friendly grin or the lecherous smirk Cloud was used to, but a genuinely soft smile. Zack turned over onto his side and reached slowly for the blonde, pulling him closer so they were spooning without actually touching. Zack's hearing could detect Cloud's heartbeat speeding up, which he took as a good sign, and rubbed soothing circles on the back of his neck, trying to calm him enough so that he wouldn't run at the first licks of panic that would soon start curling in his belly.

Zack knew nothing if not Cloud's every single habit and pattern. Right from the beginning, they'd had an unconventional friendship, that would have been strongly frowned upon if any of the higher ups had caught on. Zack enjoyed touching hugging and platonic cuddling, and Cloud was lost and scared and the perfect snuggle partner. They often spent the end of the days together curled up on Zack's bed, talking and poking fun at the other. Zack had forced away the urge to make a move on the small boy for over a year now, but Cloud had turned sixteen last week and had grown up a lot since they'd become friends.

Cloud relaxed slowly, leaning back into Zack's long body, shifting until one of the SOLDIER's arms was his new pillow. The hard bicep that was the reward for the years of training Zack had put in couldn't have been as comfortable as it apparently was, but Cloud wasn't complaining. Zack lifted his other arm until it was resting around Cloud's waist, fingers lightly curling into his sweater.

They didn't move for some time, and Zack was almost beginning to think Cloud had fallen asleep when suddenly, the boy turned around in Zack's arms so they were face to face, noses only inches apart.

Zack propped his head up with his arm, smile fading until his face was blank and solemn. He leaned in slowly to brush a feather light kiss on Cloud's forehead, and Cloud responded by tightening his hold on Zack's leather jacket. But he didn't pull away.

They rested their foreheads against each others, breathing deeply. Zack decided to just take the plunge and leaned into Cloud until they were pressed firmly together. Legs intertwined, with hips against hips and heart against heart. Mouth pressed softly against mouth.

Zack was doing his best to hold back and not scare the kid off, but it was so damn hard. Cloud tasted like everything and nothing. Toothpaste mostly. He rolled them over until he was on top, never breaking the kiss.

Cloud started to move his lips under Zack's careful coaching, imitating the way Zack kissed the best he could. Then he bit his teeth lightly against Zack's bottom lip, and the black haired boy was forced to hold back a buck of his hips. A groan escaped him and he could only hear dimly as Cloud let out a strangled whimper.

Zack pulled back, trying desperately to catch his breath and tell his body to please please just slow down. His biggest fear was that he'd scare Cloud.

But Cloud was smiling. Blushing, but smiling nonetheless. Zack couldn't have stopped the accompanying grin if he wanted to. His forehead fell to Cloud's shoulder as he tried to hold back a giddy laugh, and before they knew it they were both trying to hold their composure so neither boy would fall off the roof of the car.

Zack fell back onto his back again, but this time pulled Cloud with him, arranging the boy like a blanket, draped over him in all the right places. The last few giggles faded away, and Zack lifted Cloud's hand and placed a chaste kiss on his palm.

"I've wanted to do that for longer than you can imagine."

Cloud tilted his head back to stare at Zack with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Oh, hell yeah. Since the first day I saw you practising your drills. Damn hot."

"Shut up! You're horrible!" Cloud buried his face in Zack's neck, but Zack could still feel his lips twisting into a small smile. He tickled Cloud lightly in the ribs. "Hey, that's not when we met. You crashed into me! You ripped my uniform, so you took me to get a new one and then out for drinks."

Zack grinned sheepishly, and gave a guilty chuckle. "Actually, I might have planned that. I'd seen you doing drills the week before and spent the next three days trying to figure out how to meet you without singling you out to your entire unit."

"You're joking."

"Nah. I saw you and thought to myself, 'Zack, if you don't find a way to make that guy a part of your life, you'll kick yourself for the rest of it.' So I followed you a bit, hacked into the system to get your schedule, and cleverly staged my timing just right to make you crash into the ground. One of my better plans. They don't always work out so smoothly."

"I'm perfectly aware of that. I can't believe you've never told me this before. We've been friends forever!"

"Well, I might have had dirty intentions."

"No kidding."

They settled back into a calm silence, listening to the far-off sounds of the reactors humming in the distance.

"Zack?"

"Hmm?"

"Do me a favor?"

"Okay."

"That's it?"

"Have I ever turned you down?"

"Nah. Can you maybe quit smoking? You taste a bit like an ashtray."

Zack laughed, his rumbling chest causing Cloud to slip slightly. Zack sat up, one arm around the boy, the other dipping into one of his pockets to pull out his cigarettes and lighter. He kissed them, making a dramatic Zack-like show of it, and tossed them over his shoulder. He settled back down, pulling Cloud with him.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

---

Zack stubbed out the last cigarette of the pack in his ashtray and stood up. Tifa was frozen in place, staring at the bar. He murmured a request for the nights drinks to be added to his tab, and slipped out the front door.

He hadn't meant to, but he ended up at the church. It was dark outside, but the moonlight was trickling in through the holes in the rafters making everything glow in a way that should have been eerie, but just came off as peaceful.

Zack stared at the water until his eyes grew heavy. He felt the fingers drift over his temple, and the cool kiss on his brow. His body grew warm, and he felt a memory that was only half his drift over his thoughts. He chased after it, all the way into his dreams. And then he was asleep.

---

"Zaaack. Oh, Zaaack. Where are you?" Aerith called. Honestly, the biggest peeve about being a floaty mystical being among millions of other floaty mystical beings was that you could never find who you were looking for when you needed to find them.

How annoying.

They needed some sort of paging system.

"ZACHARY DONOVAN!"

Or that.

Grrrr. That... That... Grrr. He frustrated her. Honestly, you'd think he enjoyed this game. Which wouldn't surprise her at all. Eternity was a long time without something to read. Why not play hide and seek when she really needed to find him?

"ZACK, IF YOU'RE NOT FRONT AND CENTER BEFORE I COUNT TO THREE, I'M TELLING EVERYONE IN HEARING DISTANCE ABOUT THE TIME WITH THE RUBBER CHOCOBO, THE TIARA, AND THE GIRLS FROM THE HONEY BEE!"

Silence.

"ONE... TWO... TWO AND A HALF..."

"Alright, alright. Keep your booties on." One of the shadows on her left shimmered and took on a more familiar face. He grinned in that way that only he could do, so she retaliated by sticking out her tongue.

The depth and maturity of their relationship would never cease to amaze her.

"What's shaking, doll?" Zack leaned back and laced his fingers behind his head while she rolled her eyes.

"It's about time. I've been looking for you everywhere. EVERYWHERE!"

"Woah, woah. Calm down. What's the rush? You need to relax. It's not like we're going anywhere." Zack tilted his head and gave her his puppy eyes. They never failed. Not on her, not on Cloud, and not on his mother.

Okay. Maybe his mother.

"You are." Aerith told him, looking oddly serious. Zack's back went a little straighter and he stared at the last of the Cetra.

"Excuse me?"

"I just came into possession of this... Power. This energy. My ancestors have been keeping it hidden, keeping it safe, for.. Well, forever. It wasn't ready until now, you see. It couldn't be used. There wasn't enough. But they tell me that now it is. They say I can use it."

"Babe, you've completely lost me."

Aerith closed her eyes and cupped her hands. Sparks flew from every direction, gathering and taking shape, making this tiny ball of light, pure and blue. She brought it to her lips and blew on it, once, twice. It turned from blue to red, and from red to purple.

"What is it? Materia?" Zack leaned closer to examine it, and the sudden hum of power would have knocked him off his feet if there was, you know... Ground to stand on. Floating around had advantages sometimes.

"The Cetra have been collecting spare energy since time began." Aerith opened her eyes and smiled gently. "Small amounts. There was never enough to spare, you see. Only slivers and drops. It had to be pure and untainted, and as time continued, people became touched more and more by selfishness and greed. But they protected it. They kept it from people who would use it for evil purposes. And now it's mine." She cradled it close, like a mother would hold her child. "It can only be used once. Just once. Just one time, and it will expel someone from this... Place. It'll give you a second chance. You didn't deserve to end up here so soon. Not when you should have had so much life ahead of you."

Zack looked up sharply, staring right into Aerith's eyes. No...

"I have the power here to send someone back, Zack. One person. One chance. I can send a single life force back to the Planet. Make them solid and real again."

It's not like we're going anywhere.

You are.

"Hon, you should use it on yourself. You... You shouldn't have died the way you did. It wasn't fair for anyone. I've done my time. I screwed up, I let down my guard. I'm alright with this."

She smiled and shook her head. "Zack-"

"Aerith, no. No, I won't let you do this. You deserve this chance. You're not supposed to be here, beautiful. You're --"

"He needs you more than he needs me."

Zack fell silent. "He barely remembers me."

"So you have to make him. Zack, you were ten times more dear to him then I could ever hope to be. I love him. I love him like you love him, but he needs you. He needs you to show him how to be happy again. He's settled his guilt with me. He's let go, but I can hear him calling for you inside his heart, even if he can't. Zack, you have to go him. Save the boy we both love so much."

Zack clenched his eyes tightly as images of a blonde boy flashed in his head. Eating together, sleeping together, fighting together.

Cloud... We're friends, right?

What would Cloud have said if he could speak?

"Aerith."

She kissed his cheek. "Take care of him, you hear me? Treasure him. I'll see you both soon. But, you know... Not too soon." An amazing smile spread across her face, and he thought he might have seen her wink.

And then there was blackness.

---


----------------------
AN: I finished this about a month ago. It's been sitting on my LiveJournal, but I was lazy and didn't bother posting it here till now. My LJ is always the hot spot for my fics. =P

I took on this monster of a project without knowing what I was getting into. I figured five or six pages, tops, and it ended up being sixteen. Anyone who reads my shit knows three pages it cause for celebration in my head because my attention span equals that of a poodle with ADD.

So yes. I have plans and notes for this to turn into a trilogy, but please please don't ask me for part two because now that part one is out of the way I have to think about other stuff. I move into my dorm room in exactly four days, and start college in just over a week. Fanfic is not going to be on my list of priorities. Once I get settled in I swear I'll tackle part the second, but expect it to take at least a couple months.

On that note, I hope you enjoyed reading The Stupid Zack/Cloud/Reno Thing That Wouldn't Leave Me Alone as much as I enjoyed writing it. It went through about seven rewrites before I was happy, and I'll probably tweak it until doomsday but the BITCH is DONE. MWAHAHAHA. Okay, now to go sleep ;_;

As always, comments are love, constructive criticism is appreciated, and if you find a typo for the love of god let me know.

Ciao!