FicWad

Aren't we all just a bunch of fucking liars, saying and doing what's expected of us? All of us jump around like fucking puppets on a goddamned string just trying to please the people around us. We truly are actors on the stage of life.

He would have loved to write a song about that, but there wasn't any way in hell the execs would allow that one. He decided long ago the he would just go through the motions and make everyone happy or at least reasonably pleased. He did have an image to uphold; he did his best to live up to the legend. Party hardy. Laugh it up!

Steven Tyler wasn't happy at all. He was lonely-incredibly lonely. He had been numbing his loneliness for weeks; booze, downers, then take handfuls of speed to get enough energy to write and record. And repeat-more downers to sleep, more speed and coke to get going again.

Life's awful hard when it's a lie. His whole existence was nothing but a show, or so he always told himself; now he realized it was just a lie. He loved Cyrinda: That was a lie. He didn't feel too bad about that one; she's a liar, too. He did feel bad about poor Mia, trapped in the middle of the mess. No kid deserved that.

He spent a lot of his free time in his rooms, getting stoned, or drunk, or both. He just wanted to get away from all of them, get away from everything just hide. Hide from the studio, from management, from Cyrinda. Hide from all the pain. He spent hours thinking about his past mistakes, his past pain. He dwelt on the bad and never really remembered the good. It never failed; the night would ultimately lead to one particularly hard lesson. It always ended the same way.

He looked around the room of course he was alone. He made sure that his door was locked, and retrieved his special bag-the bag that contained his 'special things'. Not his drugs, something more precious than any powder.

He sat down on the bed, and pulled the zipper open. His fingers went over his knife, his fragrance bottles, his prayer beads, his lucky figure of Buddha-and rested on his most valuable treasure. He removed the plastic bag, and pulled out Joe's black shirt. He smelled it: Joe's exhilarating scent was still there. He ran his fingers over it, remembering how Joe's physique formed it. Sometimes he'd get angry at him, sometimes he'd cry over his lost love.

He sat there again on his bed holding the black tee shirt lost in thought. Why did Joe have to be so goddamned two faced? When they were alone, he was so caring but all he did was one little mischievous action, and Joe was completely pissed at him forever. He thought about what had made him fall out of his graces. Fuck if he could only turn back the hands of time...

It was about three months after their last rendezvous-the rendezvous where Tom caught them. They were in New York City, going to see the executives for a meeting. All of them were in the elevator; the doors had just closed. He was standing beside Joe in the very back of the elevator with Joey, Brad and Tom in front of them. The three of them were talking about some fight on TV, he really didn't pay too much attention to them.

He looked at Joe-his eyes were a little squinter than usual. He should have let him be, but he couldn't. He was feeling especially frisky that day; he reached over and grabbed Joe's butt and gave him a hard squeeze.

Joe's eyes widened, shocked by what he'd done. He remained silent, but his hand reached back and grabbed onto his. He almost cried out at Joe's monstrous grip. He angrily pulled his hand away but before he let go, he gave his hand another hard squeeze then cast it aside. He looked at him and frowned; Joe's eyes bore a hole into his very soul.

He rubbed at his hand; he knew he'd gone way too far over the line. He rubbed his hand though the meeting trying to get some feeling back into his pinky and ring fingers. Joe ignored him.

Afterwards, they were alone in the cab going back to the hotel. He was still rubbing his hand, he noticed that it was beginning to swell and bruise.

"Would you just stop it?" Joe angrily ordered.

"I think you broke my fucking hand!"

"Too bad I didn't!" Joe crossed his arms in front of his chest. "What the fuck was that all about anyway?" He snorted.

"I didn't think you'd mind-"

"I wouldn't mind?" He exploded. "Yeah with the guys standing there, I wouldn't mind it!"

He noticed the cabbie look at them in the rear view mirror; Joe did too. "Sorry man." He said quietly. He knew that he had betrayed Joe's trust. He would make it up to him next time...

But there was never a next time. He sighed; he should have thought it over before he acted. He replaced his treasure once again, and popped some downers. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day in the studio. They were all long days anymore. This album was the hardest one so far. They were fighting so much so that Joe refused to be in the studio when he was around. That hurt. But in a way, he was glad that he was alone in the studio; Joe can be very distracting. He had caught himself looking at that beautiful ass a couple of times, he hoped that nobody else caught on-especially Elyssa.

He squirmed in his bed, still uneasy; he couldn't relax. He grabbed another pill and swallowed it. He needed SLEEP. NOW. He had to get some sleep or he wouldn't be worth a damn tomorrow. He needed to stay focused; this album has to be brought in under budget and quick; they were between tours. Time was of the essence...who the hell was he trying to fool? Himself? He knew better. He missed Joe. He missed his touch, that magic tongue; his Joe-Joe never was a disappointment. He loved the way Joe made him sweat. It was a good sweat, a sweat like when he ran around on stage.

Like he'd ever have that sweat again. He pissed Joe off. He thought about finding some little blond girl and explore her for a month: The dream vacation. He sighed as he felt his anxious body begin to relax.

________________________________________

Steven was standing in the doorway of the studio watching a pigeon peck at the ground, thinking about how great his dream vacation would be when Joe walked out. He was a little startled-he didn't know that he was gonna be here today. He stopped and handed him a note, and just as quickly walk away. Steven didn't even have a chance to react.

It was a simple little note, written in Joe's hand, asking him to come to this house alone. He wanted to explain some things to him. He would make him dinner, and they could talk shit over. He kept reading it, over and over again. Talk? Hmmm. He hoped that he wasn't reading too much into it. Still a guy could wish, right?

He went back to his rooms; he wanted to wear something...hot. He wanted to wear something that would make Joe kick himself for being an asshole. But he decided not to get too wild, just in case he just wanted to talk. He knew that Joe had a thing for black velvet; he decided on a royal blue shirt and black velvet pants to this rendezvous. He could be arousing, yet dressed like a rock star.

One last look in the mirror; he messed with his hair. He knew he looked fabulous, even if that did seem vain. He needed something else, he quickly grabbed a white silk scarf and placed it around his neck. He looked at himself again: not just fabulous-perfect! He sighed and thought to himself: This is it; either way everything's gonna be different. If Joe's tongue was just talking, then it's done, time to move on. And if not...well, that would be great.

Steven took a cab to the address he was given; he tried to remain calm, but his heart was racing with anticipation. He felt like his heart was gonna break right outta his chest. He began to think about what the hell was going to happen. What was he walking into? God, was this some sort of set-up? Maybe he was gonna try to get more power and get everybody against him? Nah, Joe wouldn't do that: Elyssa would. He wouldn't be her mule. This was Joe Perry here; Joe didn't have the intestinal fortitude to call all the shots in a band.

What did Joe want? Write another song? No, he wouldn't give him a note for that. He wants to 'talk'. Talk about what? The tour? The album? God, what's going on? What was he doing here?

He rubbed his sweating palms together. For the first time, he was second-guessing this meeting. Maybe he should just go back to the hotel and forget about it. No. He had been wishing for a chance to 'talk' for months. He was in too deep. He thought about popping a couple of downers, but he decided not to. He wanted to have some stamina; just in case.

He paid the cabbie, and walked up the sidewalk. The full moon was out rising over the trees; a slight breeze was blowing. It was a secluded place; the next neighbor was a half a mile away. He cleared his throat and knocked on the door.

Joe answered, dressed in a black silk shirt and incredibly tight leather jeans. "Hey you're on time!"

"Yeah, well," Steven got lost in those hazel eyes, "I can get my ass going when I wanna."

"Come on in." Joe held the door for him; he took his coat. "I hope you don't mind spaghetti."

"No, that's great. I'm starving." Steven looked around. It was a nice cozy little bungalow. "This is nice place. Rental?"

"Yeah, I rented it for the weekend."

He followed Joe into the dinning room. He stopped dead, shocked by the sight: White pillar candles were lit everywhere, a bouquet of red roses were arranged on the table.

Joe brought two glasses of wine. "Here." He handed Steven one, then clinked his glass against his. "To us."

"To us." Steven repeated. He drank it, hoping this would calm his nerves. "Joe," He looked around in disbelief, "This is really something."

Joe frowned a bit, "Don't you like it?"

"No, its-" He stopped for a second. "Incredible."

Joe smiled. "So are you."

Steven swallowed hard: He didn't read too much into the note.

Joe ran his hand through Steven's hair and rested his hand on his neck. "You know I got a hard time saying shit. I just want you to know how much you mean to me, that's all." He gave Steven a tender kiss on the lips. "I know I've been a bastard lately," he said softly. "I just want to let you know that I'm sorry about the past few months. Me and Elyssa keep fighting, and I take it out on everybody. Things will change, I promise."

"Joe, I-"

"No." He smiled again. "You know what to call me."

Steven's knees about gave way. "Joe-Joe." He couldn't help saying it breathlessly.

He gave Steven another little kiss, and turned. "Dinner's about ready. Have a seat, I'll be right out."

Steven watched him disappear into the kitchen. He wasn't hungry for food anyway not now. Not after this appetizer; he wanted the next course that Joe was gonna serve up. "Do you need any help?"

"No, I got it. Thanks."

Steven sat down; he ran his fingers over the soft rose petals. This was a tender side of Joe he'd never ever had seen before. Just when he thought he had him figured out, he goes and does this.

As promised, Joe brought out the spaghetti, and the bottle of wine. "It smells great." Steven smiled, "Did you make it?"

"Yeah, my Mom's recipe. Try it."

He was still a fabulous cook. "This is really good." He washed it down with another glass of wine.

"I was hoping you like it."

Steven ate quietly, his eyes watching Joe. God he was so delicious! The warm glow of the candlelight on that chiseled face, that hair...He was fabulous! He caught Joe watching him, too. Thank God he didn't take those downers.

After dinner, they sat down in front of the fireplace. Steven watched him stoke the fire; then he swooshed the wine around in his glass, thinking about all the troubles they had between them. His mind then went to the studio. "So did you get my notes on the new song-"

"Do we have to talk about the album?" Joe asked.

He shrugged. "I just don't see you around the studio much anymore."

Joe threw another log onto the fire. "Yeah, I know." He almost said it grudgingly. "You know you can just say one little thing to piss me off to no end."

"Sorry."

"It's like I got a dozen burrs under my saddle with Elyssa then you add about seventeen more-"

"Sorry."

"Like I said, I know I've been taking Elyssa out with everyone." Joe finished his glass. "Maybe I should try to be around more. It's not fair leaving all the shit for you to handle by yourself." He looked at him, "How's Cyrinda?"

He downed the rest of his wine. "The same. She's still a black hearted bitch."

He had lost track of how many glasses he had drunk; he had a pretty good buzz right now. He reached for the bottle, when Joe's hand took his. "Steven." His voice was so low, so incredibly sexy.

He didn't know why he was so timid, but he was. He felt Joe brush his hair over, then his lips on the back of his neck. He tried to remain calm, but he couldn't. Just the touch of those lips on the nape of his neck made him shiver, "I thought you were over me." He said quietly.

His statement stopped Joe for a second. "Over you?" He took Steven by the shoulder and gently turned him so they were facing each other. "Baby, I'll never get you outta my system." His arms embraced him.

"Yeah," Steven felt Joe's breath on his neck, somehow it brought his courage to the surface. "But why now?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean," He gave a shrug. "I thought you were over me."

"Look baby," Joe took his hand, his calloused fingers rubbed against Steven's soft skin. "It wasn't like I didn't want to be with you, you know but we gotta be careful. I don't want anyone to find out. I don't want her finding out you know. I know she was watching me for a while."

"I never told." He would never tell anyone about their encounters. He would never betray that trust. For a few weeks afterwards, he waited for Tom to drop a hint of what he had seen. He was certain that it would never happen and he was right. He had a lot of shit over on him: Shit Tom didn't want Terry to ever find out.

"Yeah, I know you didn't. I hope Tom kept his mouth shut." Joe continued. "What matters right now is that we're here together. I love you Steven. I know I should have said it more, but I do. I'm gonna show you how much I love you. I'm gonna prove it to you." His hand ran down to Steven's thigh, he massaged it hard, "Black velvet." He cooed. "You remembered."

"Oh God Joe-Joe." He whispered. He could feel himself getting aroused. Joe's mouth moved to his neck, he sucked it hard, making Steven gasped. He embraced Joe, he could feel his heartbeat, he could feel him breathing harder.

Joe looked at him, "I do love you. I love you more than anyone else on the fucking planet."

Before he could react, Joe leaned forward and kissed him hard. Steven had forgotten what those lips were capable of. As Joe's tongue wrestled with his, he ran his hands slowly over that silk, enjoying every fiber of his beloved Joe-Joe.

Joe held his neck, still kissing pushing his tongue deeper and deeper down his throat. He took his own tongue, wrestling it with Joe's, feeling the warmth, and tasting the spices of their dinner.

He didn't remember that Joe was this into kissing; usually a couple of kisses then down to the action, but not this time. There was no rush. Steven felt Joe's warm breath on his face as he continued pressing his lips to his. Neither one could get enough of the other. Joe's hands kneaded at Steven's chest, gently caressing at first, then he pressed harder.

They finally broke away, both gasping for breath. 'I need him.' Steven thought to himself, as his fingers grasped his silk collar. "Joe-Joe, what do you want me to do? Whatever you want, baby, I'll do it." He was so happy to be here; so happy that he wanted him. Joe had forgiven his childish grab in that elevator. "Whatever you wanna do to me-"

"I want to love you, Steven." He kissed him again, "I want you to be happy; I want us to be happy."

Steven smiled; he wasn't being used. That felt great.

"Come with me baby." Joe whispered. "Come to the bedroom." He sealed the offer with a nibble on his ear.

He obeyed and followed Joe up the stairs. He really didn't pay much attention to décor-he was too busy watching him. They sat down on the brass bed, he leaned over and kissed Joe, he could hear him breathing heavier. His fingers unbuttoned that black silk shirt and pulled it off of him; he sighed seeing Joe's chest. He'd seen it countless times, but this time it was his.

Joe brushed his hand over Steven's hair, then wrapped his arms around him. He began leaning forward, pushing him back onto the bed. Steven submitted to him. Joe was lying on top of him, kissing him, his fingers moving down Steven's shirt, nimbly unbuttoning it.

Steven moaned as his hands gently massaged his back, he felt Joe's hard cock on pressing on him; he knew Joe could feel his, too. He was in heaven. He breathed Joe's scent deeply into his lungs. God he loved his scent! He thought the shirt was great, but the real thing was incredible. It made his heart race. His fingers dug into Joe's back making him let out a little cry. That brought him back to reality. "Sorry."

"Please hurt me." Joe moaned. "Hurt me baby."

"Are you a bad boy?" Steven asked, with a devilish smile.

"Uh-huh. I'm really bad. I'm so bad."

Steven gave Joe another little dig, he groaned. "I think bad boys should get a spanking." He licked his face.

"A spanking huh." Steven repeated.

"Uh-huh." Joe's eyes sparkled as he nodded.

Joe let Steven sit up but he pushed him back onto the bed. He ran his hands over that leather-encased body. Steven unbuttoned the jeans, but he took the tab of the zipper in his teeth and pulled it down. He heard Joe let out an excited laugh. He ignored him and pulled the leather down. Joe wasn't wearing anything else. He'd forgotten how magnificent he was. With a quick pull, the jeans were history; he threw them over his shoulder.

He pulled Joe's naked body up and put him across his lap, he gave him a hard smack right across his ass. Joe sucked air. Steven gave him another slap. "Bad boys have to learn."

Another slap, another moan. "Oh God, harder."

Steven obeyed. He pounded Joe's ass until it was as red as the roses sitting on the dining room table. His hand stung from the spanking, so he knew how his ass felt. Joe sat up a bit, sweating from the pain. He wasn't done with him yet. If he liked spankings, well he'd love this. He quickly took the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around Joe's wrist. "Oh yeah," He moaned. He sat up, and looked at him, "You know I've been really bad."

"I know, and you're gonna pay." Steven took his other wrist and tied it too. Joe squealed in excitement. He pushed him back, took the scarf and tied the ends to the brass headboard.

"Tighter," Joe breathlessly pleaded, "Tighter baby."

Steven pulled the silk ends tighter, making him moaned again. He knew he was in pain; he looked at his Joe-Joe, naked, helplessly lying on the bed. "You are a very naughty boy." He said in his lowest tone. He had an evil thought: He took the votive candle and lit it. He looked deeply into Joe's eyes, he didn't say anything; his eyes spoke for him. He wanted it; he wanted pain.

He tilted the candle, letting the hot wax drip onto his bare skin. Joe jumped and let out a cry; Steven knew he loved it. He waited and dripped wax onto his nipple. Joe gasped he pulled at his restrains in vain. He dripped the wax again and again, watching his skin jump and hearing his moans and cries.

He carefully sat the votive down, and caressed Joe's chest, looking at the cooling wax. He took his tongue and pried the wax off with it. He heard Joe breathing harder as his tongue licked and danced its way down his torso. He loved the way Joe tasted. He kept his eyes locked onto Joe's as he retrieved the candle.

He could hardly contain himself. "Oh God," He moaned. "Steven-"

He howled as the wax hit his helmet. Steven was getting hotter just listening to him wail. He continued to drip the wax over his stomach, balls and thighs.

Joe had his head back digging it into the pillow. He gave a low moan at the cool sensation of Steven's tongue, prying the wax off of him again. He pried the wax off everything but he saved the best for last.

He felt Joe squirm a bit as his tongue worked on the wax on his cock. He was getting harder by the second. Steven put him completely in his mouth; rubbing the tip of his tongue under Joe's head did the trick.

Joe tilted forward, deeper into Steven's throat. He had forgotten how he tasted. He never remembered Joe being this vocal either. He let out another scream; he was trying hard to catch his breath.

Joe sighed when it was over. Steven let him go, looked at him and untied his hands. He watched Joe rubbed at his wrists. "You OK?" He looked at the pink spots covering his chest.

"Oh yeah." Joe brushed Steven's concern aside. He knelt and pushed Steven's shirt off his shoulders. He gently kissed Steven's face, then his lips. "Thanks." His hands went to Steven's pants. He gently unbuttoned them and pulled them away too.

They were both naked, both kneeling on this huge bed. Steven continued kissing him until Joe broke away. "Wanna play a game baby?"

"Sure."

Joe went over to the other nightstand, he came back with a little jar of strawberry jam and a can of whipped cream. "You take this," He gave Steven the jar of jam and licked his face again, "And put it where you want me to lick you." He picked up the whipped cream, "And put this where you want me to kiss you." He kissed him tenderly.

"Jam for licking and cream for kissing. Anywhere?"

"Yeah, anywhere you want me to lick or kiss you."

Steven let out a vocal purr. He sprayed his finger in the whipped cream and placed a dab on his lips. Joe obeyed and kissed. He smiled, waiting to see where he was going to go next.

He took the jar and dipped his finger into it. He tilted his head back, and placed a stream of jam down his throat and onto his chest. Joe again licked every little bit of jam off of him.

He looked at Joe, then put another dollop of cream on his nipple. "Oh God I love this game!" Joe exclaimed as his mouth moved to his nipple.

Steven blinked hard, trying to stay focused. He really wanted to pour the entire jar down the front of him and tell Joe 'Bon appetite!' He took the cream again, and placed it on the side of his neck. Joe moaned as he kissed Steven.

Joe sat up again, staring at him; Steven took his long thin finger and dipped it deeply in the jam jar. He had a good amount on his finger. He slowly ran it down the front of himself, going from his collarbone to his bellybutton. Joe went after it like a starving dog after a bone. Steven ran his hand over Joe's head delighted by that warm tongue working its way down his body.

"More baby." He groaned.

Steven waited for a second, he knew that Joe figured since he was so close he would just automatically go for the obvious place. No. He wasn't that predictable. He waited for Joe to look at him; when he did, he placed a little dab behind his ear.

"Oh I think you're a bad little boy too." He whispered as he sat back up and licked off the jam. "You're teasing Joe-Joe, aren't you?"

Another wicked thought crossed Steven's mind. God would he do it? Fuck, he's the one that said anywhere.

Joe looked at him, waiting for the next spot. Steven got up on his knees and took the jam and stuck two of his fingers in it. He looked at Joe, then smeared his asshole.

Joe didn't flinch. He started licking Steven immediately.

He was shocked, he numbly put the jar down on the nightstand. Steven got on all fours, he moaned as Joe licked and rimmed him out. When Joe was done with him, he had to lie back across the bed. He had been aroused beyond belief. Joe leaned over him, waiting.

Steven took his fingers and put the jam on his inner thigh. Joe licked it off. He now put the jam on his balls. Joe smiled then went to work. Steven couldn't help but to moan as that magic tongue moved across him. Joe finished quickly he took Steven's fingers and licked them clean. He was rock hard feeling that tongue against his fingers.

He took a dab of the cream again and placed it on his hip. He sighed as Joe's lips early kissed him.

He couldn't hold out anymore. He took his fingers and dipped them in the jam again; slowly went over his hard cock. Joe again followed his actions. He licked Steven hard. He gasped as he felt his warm moist tongue going over all his sensitive areas. He kept licking and moving his hands over him. He took his fingers and rubbed him hard.

"I can't take anymore." Steven said breathlessly.

"I got to have you too." Joe said between gasps.

He felt Joe put him in his mouth. He was licking and sucking at him until he released. He felt his body quiver as the orgasm hit. He was gasping for breath, his fingers tore at the bed, as Joe sucked the life out of him.

He was trying to catch his breath his eyes were closed, numbed by the release Joe-Joe just put him through. He felt Joe take his arm, then he heard the unmistakable ratchet sound of a handcuff closing. He opened his eyes seeing Joe locking the handcuff around his wrist. The other one was around the headboard.

Joe moved the other side of the bed, he took his other hand and did the same. He now took Steven's ankles and locked them in cuffs too. "You'd better have the keys." His eyes narrowed.

"Oh yeah, I got them." Joe knelt down and picked up the silk scarf; the one Steven had used to keep him a prisoner. "Just one more thing."

"I not sure-" With that Joe quickly put the scarf around Steven's mouth, using it like a gag. He tied it quickly around his head.

"I'm not done with you yet, baby." He said coolly.

Steven was in bliss: tied to Joe's bed, even though he wasn't sure about the gag. Fuck, he'd try anything once. Joe was kneeling beside the bed, his hands gently caressing Steven's body. "I like this, do you?"

Steven made a muffled 'Uh-huh', and nodded. He looked at Joe, anticipating what he had in mind. He shuddered at the icy cold sensation running down his hand and arm.

Joe made his way down Steven's arm, slowly moving the ice cube over his inner arm. Steven started breathing heavier as the ice cube made its way to his neck. Joe slowly moved the cube over his face and exposed lips. "Do you like that?" He asked gently.

Steven let out a low gratified moan.

He ran the cube down over Steven's chest; he gently caressed his nipples with it. Steven pushed his head back, trying to cry out. The cube danced its way down his body, across his abdomen.

Man he thought cream and jam were fun...

He watched Joe teasing him, his hand gently guiding the cube around. The cube was on his inner thigh and under his knee and then it slowly made its way back up his thigh.

Joe knelt beside him; looked at him, and gave him a dirty little smile.

Steven felt the ice cube go into his rectum. He let out a muffled scream, feeling that icy sensation pulsating through his body. He looked at Joe smiling at him, he sat up, held himself and sprayed Steven with his own jam. He felt Joe's warm fluid running over his chest, his neck and face. He whimpered in delight.

When Joe was done, he laid on top of him, wrapping his arms around Steven's sticky body. He was still under the magical feeling of the ice cube. He shuddered as Joe removed the gag. "God where'd you learn that one?" He said between gasps.

"I love you." Joe cooed. He brushed some of Steven's sticky hair out of his eyes. He put his head onto Steven's chest and sighed. He stayed there for a few minutes before he retrieved the key and let Steven out of his cuffs. He looked at him, lying on the bed, all sticky and sweaty. He looked down at his own sticky body. "I think we gotta take a shower, but only if you promise to drop the soap."

"Deal." Steven said as he stood.

________________________________________

It was heaven being here; sharing Joe's bed, Steven looked at him sleeping away, so peaceful, so handsome. He snuggled closer, and wrapped his arms around Joe's bare chest. His thoughts turned to this magical night they spent together. This was easily the greatest sexual experience he had ever had with him. He kept telling him that he loved him; he told him over and over again. That was the best thing of all: His Joe-Joe loved him.

He had a new dream vacation in mind now: It'd be great if nobody found them, say for a month or at least for a while anyway. God, if they could just stay here, in this house for a week that would be so fucking cool. Just the two of them, nobody else, nobody demanding every little fucking thing, no record to be made; no meetings, nobody using them. Just the two of us in this bedroom with no other cares at all-nothing at all but our love. Fuck that would be great-it'd be a fucking miracle too. He felt Joe's hot breath on his shoulder as he fell asleep.

Steven woke up, he was on his side; he was staring at him. "Joe-Joe." He purred; he stretched. "Morning." He felt Joe's hard cock on his hip, and he felt his own morning wood.

"Hey baby." Joe leaned and gave him a little kiss. He ran his hand through Steven's hair. "How did you sleep?"

"Great." He stretched again-he always loved the feel of satin sheets against his bare skin. "How about you?"

"Wonderful." His mouth moved to Steven's shoulder and began licking him.

He had a slight hangover from the wine. "What time is it?" He tried to focus his eyes on his watch.

He pulled Steven closer to him. "We got time." Joe answered. "Why are you in such a fucking hurry all the time?"

The old troubles started to creep back into his mind. "Don't you think we better get back? What if they start looking for us?"

"So? They won't find us. I told Tom that we were going out to party. They know we aren't in our rooms."

The biggest problem of them all now crept into his mind. He crawled up onto Joe's chest. "What about Elyssa?"

"So?" He kissed him again. "I love you so much Steven."

"I love you Joe-Joe." Steven gave him a deep passionate kiss-a kiss that began to stir things up. He felt himself kneading at his chest, wanting to break free long enough to breathe, but not doing it. He didn't want to leave his embrace for a second.

Joe rolled him onto his back, "If I asked you to do something," he murmured, "Would you do it to me baby?" He ended the question by expertly licking his chest.

"Sure."

"I wanna, you know see what it's like." His voice was still just a murmur.

What it's like? What the hell? We've done everything...almost everything- "You want me to go through the back door?" Steven said with a smile when he realized what he meant.

Joe smiled too. "Yeah, I wanna see why you're screamin."

"I'm screamin cause you're so fuckin hot," Steven leaned up a bit, "I'm screamin cause you're so damn good at it-"

"Please baby, please." Joe grabbed a Vaseline jar off the nightstand, "I want you to do this to me. I want it so bad." He leaned down and kissed his neck.

Steven swallowed hard, he couldn't help but to let out a sigh. He felt Joe's fingers grasping him, and gently massaging his cock. "How can I say no?" He managed.

Joe straddled him, he was working his fingers around him, making him hard. Steven saw that Joe was way too excited so he pulled his hand away. He took the jar and put his fingers in it. "You gotta relax." He took his greased fingers and gently slipped them into Joe's ass.

Joe gasped as Steven's long fingers hit his prostrate. His head went back in a low moan. He kept his head back, but his hands found Steven's stomach-he gently massaged away as those fingers kept moving up and down inside him.

He remembered his first time-he wanted Joe to have a better experience than he had. Maybe he changed his mind. "If you wanna quit I understand-"

"No." He answered quickly, "Oh God no."

Steven was getting more and more aroused, listing to his lover's gasps and moans. He knew that Joe was just about as relaxed as he was going to get. He removed his fingers, and greased his erected cock, then helped him squat onto it.

Joe was quickly back to moaning, his hand moved to his own cock and he began to jerk. Silently Steven took Joe into his hands and began to do that to him. Joe rode up and down, keeping time with Steven's motions.

Steven swallowed hard again and kept up the motions. It was almost instantaneous Joe let out a shriek as his orgasm hit him; he came right in his hands. Steven felt himself screaming blissfully as Joe rocked harder and harder.

Joe hung his head down, drenched in sweat. He wiped his hand over his face before he got off Steven. He looked over at him, "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"Uh-huh." He gave a broad smile.

"Thanks baby." Joe curled up beside him. "I get it now. I know why you like that."

"It ain't so bad is it?"

"Nah." Joe laughed. "But then I have a great teacher."

________________________________________

Everyone was beginning to feel the pressures of the road. Steven handled it like he always did: drink and drugs and sex with groupies. He thought that maybe if he had another little sexy night with his Joe-Joe, things might go along a little more smoothly. They seemed to get along better in the studio after their last tryst. Yeah maybe they both needed a good game or two again; a night that would cement their emotions again. He knew better than to innocently grab him again. He wasn't that stupid. He was trying to see if he could ever get him alone, but that was impossible.

When you're on the road, little things mean a lot. As the weeks wore on, Steven couldn't believe the change in Joe. He was a completely different man with Elyssa practically attached to him. The caring and compassionate man he had spent a night with had been replaced with this thing. He was full of anger, ready for a fight at the drop of a hat. He was drinking and shooting up a lot, even for him.

He knew that he had brought some of the fights on himself; sometimes Joe could just push his fucking buttons and set him off. Joe could be so fucking conceited; thinking he knew how the arrangements should be. He knew how the song should be fucking arranged: Who wrote the son of a bitch anyway?

He would say something off the cuff about Elyssa, and Joe would sulk. He didn't really get it. He knew Joe wasn't head over heels in love with her. He was in love with him. Then Joe would piss him off, by playing wrong. God he hated that! He wouldn't sing! Son of a bitch!

Steven thought that if he could get Joe alone, just for a few precious minutes, maybe he could get to the heart of the problem. Then he saw his opportune moment. Joe was sitting at the hotel bar, slowing drinking a beer. Steven looked at him; he just stared into the bottom of his mug. Steven heard whiskey calling out his name; he took his drink and walked over to him. "Hey Joe." He waited for invitation, but never got one. He finally invited himself to sit down.

"Steven." Joe replied curtly.

He didn't really want to just come out and ask him. He decided to feel Joe's temperament out. "So, did you and Brad work out that solo-"

"Yeah." Joe's eyes didn't move off the mug.

Steven was lost, what the hell? "Did I do something to piss you off?"

Joe frowned at him. "Nah, Elyssa and me got into it."

"Oh." Steven was relived that he wasn't the problem. "What happened?"

Joe finished his beer, and motioned to the bartender for a second. He grabbed his new mug and motioned to Steven to sit with him at a booth. He obeyed.

Joe looked around, he whispered so low that Steven had a hard time picking up his voice. "Elyssa confronted me about that night, you know that night. I got some pretty good marks, and she wanted to know who gave them to me."

"Sorry." Steven whispered just as low. "Didn't know I was getting that rough."

"Yeah, but I asked for it." For a moment his darling Joe-Joe was back. He gave a slight smile at the memory, then reality set back in. "Anyway, I must have been talking in my sleep, cause she knows."

"What makes you think that she knows?"

"She confronted me about you." Joe ran his hand through his hair. "She's gonna tell my family."

Steven frowned; so he was the problem. "What fucking proof does she have?"

"None that I know of."

Steven knew that silence in this affair was of the up most importance. He never spoke of it to anyone, but he never did kiss and tell with the rest of the guys either. "She's just bluffing! She's just trying to control you-"

"She doesn't control me!" He angrily replied. "Nobody controls me!"

His outburst took him by surprise. "Yeah, I know. You're your own man, Joe." He wanted to run his fingers over Joe's but he didn't dare. He leaned forward. "I know you're a real man, baby."

He calmed down as finished his beer. "Steven, please."

He looked around; the bartender was placing the clean glasses on the shelf. He then looked at Joe. "I really miss you. I wanna-"

"No."

"Please."

"Goddamn it Steven!" He slammed his mug on the table.

"Why not?"

Joe frowned, trying to find the words. "Man, I just can't."

"Oh I see. You don't need me now. You got that crusty cunt of yours to keep you happy!"

"Not now." Joe said in a hush tone.

Steven was silent as it hit him: he would never be anything but Joe's guilty secret pleasure. He knew that they would never be a public item, but God! He was just a convenient fuck!

"I gotta go, talk to you later." Joe quickly got up and left.

Steven finished his own drink. He fought not to cry. Joe did use him. It wasn't love at all, just sex. He got up and walked slowly to the elevator. As the doors closed he thought: Maybe things will go better when we play Cleveland.

_____________________________________

Steven was sitting alone in his room, looking over the city. What a fucking day! He couldn't help but to go over the night's events again and again...

Goddamn it. It's bad luck to bring wives along. They were in the trailer before the show, all of them trying to get ready at once. "How could you let your old lady do that?" that's all it took. He got Joe mad by implying that he wasn't man enough to control her. He knew that nobody could ever control Elyssa. But he said it; he knew it was a mistake.

Terry and Elyssa got into it; nothing new they were always fighting. He heard Tom and Joe arguing now. He looked around and saw Terry stand there, hands on her hips staring at Elyssa.

Elyssa, should have known she was up to no good. He numbly joined the group.

"So?" Terry challenged. "Tough shit, honey!"

It all happened in an instant. Elyssa threw the glass of milk she was holding and hit Terry square in the face. Joe stepped in to protect Elyssa, Tom was like a wild bull.

That's when he said it: "How could you let your old lady do that? How can you let her be like that?"

Joe glared at him, thank God they were ready for them to go on.

They all took that anger and channeled it into the songs. The show was fucking great-the best one of the entire tour except...Joe wouldn't sing his parts. He played too fucking loud-throwing everyone else off. He completely rearranged his solos-leaving Brad in the dust.

He gave him a couple of looks-son of a bitch! He knew that Joe knew this was how to really hurt him: He wanted the songs to be 'perfect' and Joe not singing and playing too loud made them less than perfect.

The audience loved it, but it burned his ass to no end. This is not how any of the songs should be played. There was always some tension, but tension was what made them work the best. Not this time. He wanted to punch some fucking sense into that thick skull but he didn't. They had a show to finish.

He could hardly contain himself as he walked off the stage. He blindly walked into the trailer the others were there they were already picking up the stupid fucking milk argument. He didn't care about milk. "What the fuck was that all about?" he screamed at Joe.

"What?"

"You know what you bastard! I tell you how do play a fucking song-"

"You!" He gave him a shove, "Don't tell me what the fuck to do!"

"Oh no, that's not my job! That's your honey bunny's job! Why don't you start keeping your old lady in line instead of taking your fucking frustrations out on me! If you spent half the goddamned time you do bitching at me and put it to keeping her fucking mouth shut-"

"Why do you just assume that Elyssa's at fault here?"

"Cause I know Elyssa."

"You just wished you knew her! It always pissed you off that she wouldn't sleep with you! Besides Terry started it!" Joe pointed at Tom, "Maybe he should keep his bitch in line!"

Tom went forward, "Terry got a glass of milk thrown at her! That was uncalled for-"

"She deserved it!"

Steven felt his blood boil, watching him sit down and light a cigarette.

"Come on Joe," Joey started in, "What the hell's with you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah you!"

Joe looked at them-a united front against him: against Elyssa. "Maybe I should leave the band!" Joe threatened.

His temper took him up on the offer. "Yeah, maybe you fuckin' should!" He shouted back.

"Oh yeah?" and he stood up, almost challenging him.

Usually this would have just led to a fistfight and everything would go back into its rightful order. Not this time. Steven had all this pent up hurt and anger; he had this pain that Joe had inflicted on him. He wouldn't let his pride get hurt again. It had to be released somehow.

"FUCK YOU THEN! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" Steven screamed at the top of his lungs.

Joe stormed out. He was gone. Steven picked up the nearest thing-a beer bottle and threw it against the wall. "That's how you fucking throw something!"

He was devastated by it, yet he was too proud to admit his own fault. He was convinced that guitarist were a dime a dozen. Dozens of guitarist would kill to replace Joe and Joe could be replaced.

As he put the shirt back in its bag, he kept thinking about Joe's loyalty: He was shocked that Joe stood beside Elyssa. He couldn't believe it! He took her side. After all that they had been through, how he hated her, and he stood by that fucking cow! He never would have put money on that one. Even if Joe had used him, he was certain that he at least loved him more than the She-Devil.

Joe was completely out of his life. He never knew what loneliness was until now; he only ever thought he had pain in his life until now. He had to get rid of the pain; he had taken some downers, and was beginning to numb.

He thought about the fight, how Joe just screamed 'Maybe I should just leave the band!' and walked out of the trailer. The more he thought, the angrier he got. All that Joe said he meant to him, and he treated him like this. Joe turned on him, and after all he did for him. He fucking made that man! He took that raw energy and showed him how to harness it! Joe turned on the band! That motherfucker!

Joe said that he loved him, but he went with her. That hurt worse than anything: Joe loved Elyssa more than him. He figured that Joe was afraid of Elyssa's threats; he would come around when he knew that she was bluffing. He clung onto that hope; maybe he should try to talk to him. No. No he wouldn't bow down to him, not after this. He would let Joe come back. Yeah, Joe would be back, begging for forgiveness; returning like a starving dog, with his tail between his legs. Yeah, he'd be back. He swore to himself that he would never be onstage with that man again; he'd certainly never share a bed with him again either.

There was a knock on the door; he didn't want to talk to anybody...but maybe it was Joe. He made sure that the bag was placed back in the drawer then he opened the door slowly, and saw Tom standing there. He walked away letting Tom enter. He returned to his chair, and to his bottle. He looked at Tom as he sat on the bed. "What a fucking night."

"Yeah." Steven said numbly.

Tom clasped his hands. "The press has heard about Joe-"

"Yeah I suppose it had to come to the surface eventually."

"They want to know if we're done."

He angrily stood. "Done? We don't fucking need him! He's just a fucking guitarist! No we aren't done! Got it?"

Tom quickly nodded. "OK Steven."

"Good! Fuck Joe Perry! We don't fucking need him! Fuck Joe and his little wife Elyssa too!" He handed Tom his bottle. He watched his bassist take a long drink, "We can handle anything, man."

Tom handed the bottle back, he wished he could be as certain of this as Steven was.