FicWad

****

It was the hiss of the door opening that woke him. Feet scuffed across the carpet, and cloth rustled as it hit the floor. His heart skipped a beat, knowing what was happening, wanting it. The anticipation made him hard.

His body rolled a little as the bed dipped to one side, the other sliding under the blanket with him. Knowing hands slid down his body - a caress here, a tweak there, nails lightly scratching through fine hair. He shuddered, welcoming the hungry kiss and its demands.

He hadn't expected a visit tonight, but they didn't plan these things. They just happened. He'd wake up to find the other in his bed or he'd slip into the other's quarters and initiate it. They never spoke of it, before or after. By daylight, it never happened.

A nudge between his knees and he moved them apart. Moist fingers probed at his opening. He grunted and passed the other a bottle of lube he had hidden under his pillow.

This was so good! It filled him with need and chased away the fear that nearly paralyzed him some days. Fear of death, fear of draining, fear of capture and intellectual slavery, fear of surviving alone. It gave him something else to focus on.

There was no conversation. They never shared words of endearment, of love or even lust. Panting, smothered moaning, the click from the cap on the bottle, the gurgle of fluid pouring out, the hum of the ventilation system, his own breathing harsh in his ears filled the room. Talking would only ruin it.

He wanted to demand the return of the fingers, to beg for more. He bit his lip instead, and bucked his hips impatiently.

A strong hand grasped his cock and stroked it in a steady rhythm as the now-slick fingers of the other slid into him. He pulled his knees up to his chest to allow greater access. Pressure built inside him and he wanted to wail. He bit down on the noise instead, managing to hold it down to a whimper.

The fingers withdrew and were replaced by the firm, blunt head of a cock pressing against his anus. Weight settled on him and the hairy arms slid under his shoulders, angled so that his head was cradled in calloused hands. He sealed his mouth to the other's, pouring all his need into the bruising kiss.

One thrust, filling him, the pain before the promised pleasure, his yelp smothered by an agile tongue. He locked his legs around that lean torso and pulled, urging the other on. A minute thrust and then they were off, the pace hard and fast and frantic with need, the need to feel, the need to forget, the need to get lost in the moment. Mouths traveled across stubbled cheeks and down to quivering Adams-apples, tongues traced collarbones, teeth nipped and grazed. He slid his hands down, clutching, caressing, then moving up to tangle in short, fine hair.

The friction and the heat, building, overflowing until he grabbed the other's head and returned to that talented mouth. Lips pressed together, he mouthed, "Now!" and the finale began.

They clutched each other, clinging together, denying the loneliness and pain in the heat of the moment until they lay gasping in repletion. He found comfort in the bulk holding him to the mattress and wished the other would stay to hold the night at bay. He didn't ask.

A hand brushed his forehead and then patted his cheek. He hoped the longing he felt wasn't obvious in his eyes. It may have been, because the other touched foreheads with him, before giving him a quick kiss and getting out of bed.

Rustling clothes as the other dressed and then headed to the door. He wanted to call him back, wanted more. Not more of the sex, though he wouldn't complain, but more of the closeness, the intimacy. He was on the verge of calling the man back, but restrained himself. The rules, unspoken as they were, precluded words, rejected emotion beyond the need, required that what they had never be mentioned. There was no room in this thing for love, for vulnerability, for cuddling and soft words.

The door opened and the other man hesitated, framed in the light. He turned and looked back at the bed, his face in shadow. Then he stepped into the hallway and the door closed, leaving Rodney alone again, in the dark.