FicWad

Author's notes: This fic came about as a personal challenge to see if I could pair Sephiroth and Cloud, in-game. (An E for effort?) It pulls from Sephiroth/Cloud boot camp fanon. Babel provided invaluable help with both a great beta and insight. Any mistakes, be they grammar or characterization, are mine. Concrit welcome.


What You Deserve


Mother whispered in my ear. A siren call that echoed softly, come with me ...

My plans were almost complete. Only one piece remained.

Cloud was on the ground below me, so close I could almost touch him. Yet the Mako cocoon of the Planet kept me snared in its grasp, suspended in the Northern Crater. The Shinra executives scurried around like ants, so sure they had the black materia within their grasp. I wanted to step on them and grind them under my heel. Pull myself free from my mako prison and crush their bones under my hands.

I had been chosen to be the leader of the Planet and rule over all. I longed to feel destruction at my fingertips. To witness the fall of a race that was not worthy. To call down Meteor with my own hands in a blaze of energy that would prove I was the Chosen One.

But I was forced to wait for the black materia.

I could feel a part of Cloud rebelling against my calling, trying to resist his destiny. But I could also feel resignation overpowering the last bit of strength he clung to so desperately. It made my long-dormant blood sing.

His powerful body had hardened over the years, and I was satisfied with my choice. He would make a worthy lieutenant.

I used a small amount of power to float him up to the branches of the mako roots, letting him sit upside down, far from the contamination of the vermin below him. I could raise him as high as I wanted, as high as he was willing to go.

Listening to his words was like hearing the strains of a symphony.

"I wasn't pursuing Sephiroth. I was being summoned by Sephiroth. All the anger and hatred I bore him, made it impossible for me to ever forget him. That, and what he gave me."

He raised his voice.

"Sephiroth? I'm here. And I brought you the black materia."

The Lifestream erupted around us in a wall of water.



Cloud entered through the green veil of the Lifestream with leaden steps. He would soon realize that being a puppet could be freeing. When controlled by another, all the hardships of decision-making, the constant second-guessing of every movement, fell from your shoulders. He should be grateful of the chance I was offering him.

I blanked the landscape to a disconcerting sea of white with no landmarks or physical objects for his eyes to lock on to. It was always best to keep your opponent off-balance. And, for now, Cloud was still my opponent. I couldn't truly trust him yet. Not until I had him bound irrevocably to me.

His hand shot out to grab onto something, anything, in a frantic attempt to fight vertigo in the void and stay balanced.

I waited for the perfect moment to draw his attention to me. "Welcome home."

He jerked upright. I had taken care to make the first impression a strong one. Black leather and silver hair against a stark backdrop of white. It was a picture designed to evoke emotion.

I held Masamune at my side, relaxed but still alert.

Cloud didn't meet my eyes, instead looking down at his feet. "I'm here. Just like you wanted."

I knew then I could lower my sword. I sheathed it then gripped his chin to draw his eyes up.

"Cloud." I searched his face hard. I didn't want him to fight me, nor did I want this weak-willed man before me. I dug my fingers into his chin harder. He slowly looked up, met my gaze... and held it.

"Good, you will serve me well."

"I will." His voice was wooden.

He would relax soon enough. He would see I could be a kind master.

"I have plans for you, Cloud. Wonderful plans." I released him and spread both hands out to the side, bestowing a great gift upon him with my words. "You can join me in the Promised Land... if you prove yourself worthy."

I was anxious to begin. But, first, I had to put Cloud exactly where I wanted him so that he would never fight me again. I soothed my mind to concentrate on the qualities that had raised me to general: patience, strength, and cunning.

I only needed to knock him down one last step before I could rebuild him up into the man I needed him to be. I needed there to be no doubts that he was /mine/.

Stretching out my mind, I could sense the struggle in his thoughts. Our shared Jenova cells transmitted his fears as easily as if we shared the same body:

Avalanche.

The word blared out at me in neon colors from his mind. Followed soon after by others:

Reactor.

Bomb.

2,000 gil.

It was the opening I needed. With a small flick of my wrist, I changed the white around us to a new scene. The Mako reactor rose high above our heads. With a bright flash and a rumble of sound that shook my body, the reactor erupted in a ball of energy. The sky turned red from the explosion, and black smoke flared out to provide a majestic backdrop for the piercing flames.

The ground rocked under our feet and Cloud flinched, reliving the moment in a three-dimensional panorama too vivid to ignore. His face turned stark white, his eyes transfixed. I couldn't help but admire him. He held on, forcing himself to watch, for much longer than I expected.

He was looking for atonement for his sins. I would give it to him.

The plate fell. Screams resounded in the shock of the aftermath, faceless people calling out their last. Children cried for their mothers. Men dug frantically through the rubble for their wives and loved ones. Cloud finally tried to close his eyes. I jerked hard on his chin and shook my head in warning.

"Look."

I used my general's voice, a voice that commanded obedience.

"Look at what you did."

I needed to break him, and break him hard. I sent out a vision of him, leaning relaxed against a building wall and watching the destruction with a cruel smile on his face. It was enjoyment that he surely hadn't felt. But the man's memories were already so skewed, he'd believe it. He'd believe anything I showed him.

I watched him fall to his knees beside me. Then break.

With another flick of my wrist, I blanked the scene back to white.

Cloud sat at my feet, head bowed and shoulders shaking. I stretched out my mind to begin the rebuilding process. And recoiled back. The emotions were too intense, the feelings too overwhelming for me to read. I had to calm him. I needed him broken... but not irreparable.

He ground his fingernails into his palm and bit at his lip until a small trail of blood flowed down the side of his mouth.

The familiar library in the depths of the Shinra mansion shimmered into focus around us, books taking form on either side. A faint outline of me appeared as I paced frantically in the hall, a book in my hand, my body tense, my face devastated-

No!" I snapped my hand and the world turned back to white.

I advanced upon him and he flinched back, confusion in his eyes.

I would not go back to that night. My stomach tightened at just the hint of what he had been thinking. Had he been pitying me? That would not do.

He hadn't even known he was controlling the Lifestream. It had just been a vague thought from his mind almost brought to fruition. The power he had... It was unbelievable. It renewed my vow to make that power work for me. Not against me.

This time, I changed the scene sharply. It wasn't vague or faint, as Cloud's unwitting attempt had been. We were back in boot camp, when Cloud had been striving for SOLDIER. He was the one to be pitied.

And I wouldn't let him forget it.

Cloud slowly pulled himself to his feet, looking around the barracks and unconsciously tugging at the uncomfortable fit of the grunt uniform. He squirmed his shoulders and wiped his hands at the fabric, as if he could wipe away the uniform and all the memories that went with it. His weaknesses were easy to find, easier to manipulate. Striving for SOLDIER... and failing. It was his worst nightmare, even worse than the reactor.

I provided all the realism in the scene I could conjure. His bunk, second one to the right on the bottom, surrounded by a small amount of keepsakes he'd brought from home. Useless knick-knacks and sappy mementos.

I could see him devolve back to that time in front of my eyes, as easily as if he were really there. He ran his hand over the bed frame and I knew what he could feel. The frame would be solid, the metal would be cold. It was my power.

The sheets were crumpled on the bed, still unmade, and he darted a look back over his shoulder. His body tensed as if expecting to be reprimanded at any minute. He started tugging on the sheets, too hard, too frantic, and pulled one corner off the mattress completely. His hands shook as he hastened to tuck it back in.

I dropped my hand on his shoulder. It was time to start rebuilding him into the man I needed him to be.

He looked up and actual, physical pain showed on his face.

I made my words warm and comforting. "It's okay. We can make it better. Do you want me to make it better, Cloud?"

Cloud nodded. I found myself wanting to fix him.

"Please." His voice was so low, I could barely hear it.

The barracks flashed, and he was back in a SOLDIER uniform. Zack's uniform. But it apparently made Cloud feel safer. He was no longer the lost boy from boot camp. Now he was a man.

I nodded as confidence crept back on to his face. "It suits you."

I gave him the room of a first class SOLDIER, with the buster sword leaning in the corner as a reassuring presence. Cloud's shoulders squared and he let out a small breath. He didn't say anything. He didn't need to. I could see the gratitude in his eyes.

Spying the sword, he stood a little straighter and strolled over to the corner. He grasped the hilt and raised his eyebrow at me in a cocky way I recalled often while watching his travels.

With a sneaky grin, he swung the sword towards my neck and I caught it with Masamune in a clash of ringing steel. A true smile crossed my face. It felt odd. But right.

I laughed, low and quiet. "Always the fighter, Cloud." I dropped my sword and sheathed it with a deft swing. "Yes. That's better."

A tingle of awareness ran through my body and temporarily diverted my attention. I looked towards the edge of the Lifestream. "It's time."

Cloud looked up. "Time for what?"

I ignored him. "Yes. It begins now."

Raising my hands out to the side, the barracks fell away to leave us standing on the edge of a cliff with black clouds roiling behind us. The atmosphere stretched tight with restrained energy and the darkness fed my joy.

Cloud made small, halting steps towards me, as if being tugged, and I subtly adjusted my calling.

"Stay."

His body jerked as I released my unconscious pull on him. "Not you. Just them. I'm saving you for better things."

Cloud stood still, trying to understand, his face screaming his confusion. But this was not for him to experience. The storm intensified and lightning flashed behind me.

"Just watch, Cloud. And see the power you can share."

The black-caped clones entered through the veil and shuffled past Cloud as if he didn't exist. As the first clone approached me, I reached out my hand and sparks flew from my fingertips, reds, blues and greens mingling together then spreading outwards in a spray of color.

I took in the clone, and all the cells of Jenova it contained, in an exhilarating rush. My body glowed, a light in the darkness to lead the way. The air crackled around me. My senses sharpened until I was sure I could taste the wind.

When the last clone had served its purpose, I closed my eyes and breathed deep. The cells raced through my blood and I wanted to share the feeling, to give Cloud a glimpse of the joy that awaited him. I snaked my hand out to grasp his wrist, and placed his hand flat against my chest. His calluses were rough against my skin, the feeling only interrupted by the thin straps of leather that crossed my chest.

"Can you feel it, Cloud? The power?"

Cloud hesitated, eyes locked on his hand and my pale skin underneath it. His hand was shaky.

I tilted my head. "Do I intimidate you?

My smile turned feral. Obsession and power made my blood sing.

"Say my name, Cloud."

I waited patiently to see what he would do.

His hand quit shaking. His eyes remained fixed on my chest.

The tips of his fingers curled lightly into my skin.

Then he slid his hand ever so slightly down my body.

With that one touch, my plan changed. He had been a young boy once, who had watched me with reverence, a ducked head and a blush on his cheeks if I looked his way. I used it.

I lowered my voice. "I want to hear you say it."

He swallowed and finally said my name in a low, silky voice that raised the hairs on my arms. His submission was bringing out emotions I'd once shed with abandon, desires I had thought long gone.

"I remember the way you looked at me." I stroked Cloud's cheek and he closed his eyes. "I could feel your gaze follow me around the compound."

His skin grew warmer under my hand.

"What did you think when you were watching me? Tell me, Cloud."

He remained silent until I ran my thumb over his lip, and his eyes opened back up in surprise. He shifted on his feet, and I could see the conflicting emotions behind those impossibly blue eyes. I dropped my hand and waited as the silence stretched out.

"I would imagine..." Cloud trailed off, and looked away.

I forced my voice into a coaxing tone that had previously been reserved for persuading politicians to part with money for SOLDIER. It felt rough at first, but came back frighteningly easy in the face of Cloud's hesitance.

"That's it. Tell me, Cloud."

Cloud looked up, and I gave him a small nod of encouragement.

"I would imagine I hadn't polished my boots and... you would call me in to your office." Cloud's voice grew lower. "You would say you had to punish me."

I circled behind him in the comforting white blankness, keeping my voice soothing even though my body was strung tight with energy. "What would I do to you, for your... punishment?"

"You'd make me bend over the desk."

Cloud paused, and I leaned in from behind to whisper in his ear. "Like this?"

My desk appeared before Cloud, a single piece of furniture in an otherwise empty tableau.

He looked back over his shoulder, words forming on his lips, then faced sharply back to the front.

I stood closer behind him. "Did you pleasure yourself at night... quiet in your bunk and not wanting anyone else to know?"

He shivered under my breath.

"Did you steal moments with other men wishing it was me?"

Cloud gave the smallest nod of his head. With every confession, he was falling further under my control. I smiled.

He gained confidence upon my approval, and I strolled over to the lone chair and propped my feet on the desk, a relaxed pose designed to soothe the way for my next question. He was mine now. I could tell. But this had gone beyond the mere pulling of strings. Now I was intrigued.

"What else?"

Cloud retreated into his mind, enveloped in thoughts that were barred from me. I leaned forward on the desk and snapped him back to reality by repeating the two simple words. "What else, Cloud?"

He tilted his head and looked out from underneath his bangs. "I... I sneak into your room, pull down the covers." His voice grew stronger as he spoke. "I try to move slow, so slow, as I pull the covers back, able to see more of your bare body with every inch."

Had others thought of me in such a way? I should have taken more time to experience life back then, instead of striving so hard for Shinra. The name left a bad taste in my mouth. Shinra was no longer. The world was about me now. My wants. My needs.

I flicked two fingers and the scene changed into a perfect recreation of my quarters. It felt comfortable to be back in the one place I'd ever considered truly my home. There were no knick-knacks and mementos on the nightstand like there had been in Cloud's room. But then, I didn't need such frivolous belongings.

Cloud looked around the room, his first time in an officer's private quarters. It was a spacious room, as befitted a leader, with mahogany furniture and plush carpet. It contained all the comforts not afforded to those in the lower ranks.

I flicked my wrist again, the movement so small and subtle Cloud didn't see it. He turned in surprise when I called to him from the bed where I now lay. Sprawled out in perfect relaxation, I adjusted the blanket down over my chest.

Another flick of my wrist and Cloud stood in his regulation sleep-wear, alone in the center of the room. I watched him with narrowed eyes from the bed.

"Go on."

Cloud took the invitation he was given, walking towards me with all the determination I remembered when he was back in training camp, fighting to keep up with the other hopefuls. As I lay back and watched him, his eyes bore into mine, any sense of submission gone.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and his hand was steady as he curled his fingers in the blanket to pull it down a few more inches. I found I was holding my breath at his sure movements. No one had ever dared approach me with such confidence before.

Cloud's fingers curled tighter in the blanket.

"You catch me, but I had already seen so much." His words flowed over my body. "I was able to feel my hand against your naked body. It was enough. Even if I received solitary for a week, it would be worth it."

I snapped out my hand to clasp his wrist.

"Like this, Cloud?"

He nodded, no fear in his eyes, only desire.

I tightened my grip. "And what do I do next?"

Cloud smiled, ever so slightly. It was a secretive smile that sent chills over me.

"You push me flat on the bed. You cover me with your naked body, your lips by my ear."

He ran his eyes over my chest, a look so physical I could feel it.

"Then you ask me what in the hell I think I'm doing."

His sheer audacity made me shift uncomfortably. This was turning into more than a game. I rose to my knees and threw him bodily on the bed. Bracing my arms on either side of his head, I looked down.

"What do you think you're doing?"

I tried to keep the confusion from my face, but things weren't going the way they were supposed to. Cloud was supposed to be quivering below me. Not be this confident man so sure of every movement.

The world had always been mine, from general to leader of the world. I was able to keep my cool in any situation. But sex... It was the one area I hadn't had much time for. And now Cloud was running the show.

I blinked down at Cloud and searched his face for the answer. He simply smiled and dipped his eyes.

"Then you tell me that you're hard."

I was.

He stretched out underneath me and his clothes slid away. I hadn't done that. I hadn't called on the Lifestream. Cloud had. The power he held...

He reached a hand up behind my head and pulled me down towards him for a soft brush of lips against mine.

I jerked back.

No one kissed me. But the brief touch triggered something I hadn't known I wanted. The simple act of touch. I had spent too many years in a cocoon. Too many years with my physical body hidden away from the world.

I braced my knees around his hips and grabbed his hands, yanking them up over his head to rest on the pillow. If I were going to kiss, I would do it my way. Harsh and demanding, I forced him to open up underneath me. His moans of encouragement turned the simple act of kissing into so much more.

I stretched my body out over his. It was just like he had said in his fantasy. But I wasn't doing this for him. I was doing it for me. I lived in a world of want, take, have. His reactions weren't affecting my choices.

But the way he writhed underneath me was addicting.

With just the slightest shift of the Lifestream, I slicked my fingers with lube then nudged his legs apart. He smiled. And waited.

I inserted them slowly while watching the anticipation on his face. There was no doubt. I wanted this with all my being. To slide into him. To experience the heat of another body wrapped around mine. To feel his body around mine.

He responded to my unspoken thought, Jenova's cells now a two-way street into our feelings, emotions, and actions. With a knowing look, he spread his legs wider.

He pulled at my shoulders and urged me to enter, soft whispers and softer moans. When I nudged against his entrance, his head sank back against the pillow and he sighed in anticipation, baring his neck as if not caring that I could snap it in a heartbeat. So open. Just taking what he wanted. I found myself giving it to him with ease.

The tightness was incredible. Every sense was multiplied, every nerve ending thrummed under the intensity. I slid in, slow and steady, then tried to bring my breathing under control as I allowed him time to adjust.

He didn't need it. He started to move under me and I had to close my eyes and hold still. I wasn't ready yet. It was too soon. I braced myself on one arm and put a hand on his shoulder, a silent request to wait. He understood and ran his hand down my cheek.

At the light touch, I couldn't hold back. Too soft. Too gentle. I pulled back so just the tip was inserted then pushed fully into his body. He rocked back against the bed and let out a cry. Of pain, of pleasure, I wasn't sure, until he looked up, sly and cocky underneath me, and deliberately rocked his hips.

The part inside me that I had kept restrained for so long came unhinged. Rough, feral, and I couldn't seem to fuck hard enough to satisfy him. He wanted more, crying out my name, then biting his lip. Sweat beaded on my brow, and my breath came harsher with every drive inside him. I didn't want it to end.

On my next stroke, he pulled his legs back further and I sank deep. I could feel my hips flush against his body, and it tipped me over the edge. No longer able to stop the inevitable, I pulled back for one last thrust into his body, hard and wild and riding the edge of the storm.

Sensing my closeness, Cloud took himself in hand, bringing himself to completion in time with my thrust. His back arched into the mattress and his lips were slightly open as he shuddered beneath me. I emptied into his body at the sight.

Catching my breath seemed to take forever as I relaxed down over his body. He swept his hands over my back and shivers ran across my skin. My limbs were shaky, something that had not happened even after battle, no matter how rough the fight. But slowly, a languid ease spread through my body as he lay warm and comforting underneath me.

He ran his hand over the back of my head and trailed his fingers down through my hair. It was an intimate act that I had never allowed before. Why him? Why now?

I jerked up. Something was wrong.

Was he trying to trick the black materia from me, with his kind looks and open expression?

It was the only answer. A ploy. He wanted the black materia for himself. I should have known he was a manipulative bastard. All humans were.

I reared up, venom flowing wild in my veins. The scene flashed back to white, with both of us standing in the blank landscape, fully dressed. The black materia appeared in my hand.

Cloud stumbled briefly before he caught his balance.

My face was blank. "It won't work."

The way he looked at me, searching and confused, made me wonder for a moment if I was wrong. But I was never wrong.

I swung Masamune to prick at his neck. "You won't get away with it."

He stood quiet, a disappointed look on his face. As if he knew me. As if he understood me. As if... he pitied me. I pushed the sword further against his neck at his insolence.

He simply closed his eyes.

I hesitated. But only briefly.

With a blast of power from my hand, I forced all the knowledge and wisdom of the Lifestream into his mind. It left him a pale version of himself, incoherent and rocking on his feet while small mumbles escaped his lips. Watching him devolve so quickly, I felt a tightness behind my eyes that I blinked away.

It would have been more humane to simply kill him, like putting a tortured animal out of its misery. Instead, I opened a river to the outside world. Mideel. There were doctors there. Perhaps they could save him. Perhaps they couldn't.

I didn't stop to think why I bothered.

Cloud was gone. The materia was in my hand. All was as it should be.

The world was a cruel place. Inhumane, as I had known all along. They were an unworthy race and deserved to be exterminated.

I forced a smile on my face as I summoned Meteor.


~~~