Categories > Celebrities > AFI > Whirlwind
"What's the matter, Litz?" Davey asked, coming back into the kitchen.
"Nothing," she said, forcing a smile. "Davey, I need to tell you something."
"Alright," he said, obviously sensing that this was important.
They both took a seat at the table. It was hard for her, looking at his beautiful face, to launch into such an ugly story. But she knew she had no choice.
"I loved my father, but he gambled. A lot. So much so that when he and my mom died in the accident, there was a lot of debt. There was nothing left for me, financially, except bills. I was starting my second year in school and financial aid wasn't cutting it. I needed money. I mean a lot of money. So...I did something I'm not proud of."
"What did you do?"
His face had gone completely serious and she could tell he was going to judge her for what she was about to say. But there was no way she could turn back now.
"For a semester I...I danced at a gentleman's club."
He blinked at her, lost for words.
"And I know they say that if all the girls who said they stripped to put themselves through school were telling the truth there'd be lots of Dr. Bambi's out there, but I'm not lying. I did it just for a semester and I saved that money to put myself through school."
"You took off your clothes for money?" he asked, slowly, as though he were trying to make sure he got it right.
"Yes."
He just stared at her, still in shock.
"Davey, I'm not proud of myself. I'm telling you this because you deserve to know."
"I deserve to know? Don't you think I deserved to know before I married you?"
"Would it have made a difference?" she asked, hurt.
"Litzy, I never was much for strip clubs, for obvious reasons, but I do know the kinds of things that go on in them. Those girls don't just dance."
"Some do."
"Did you?"
She knew this was the most important answer she would ever give in her life and because the truth was so shameful she really wanted to lie. It was probably the best thing to do in order to preserve his respect for her. But the problem was that she didn't know what Tyler knew, and if she lied and he came out with any kind of proof against her, she was done for. It seemed that honesty was the best policy.
"No."
He looked so disappointed. Then he looked away.
"Well, after working there awhile I had developed a bit of a coke problem," she explained, timidly. "And I didn't make the best decisions in certain situations -"
"Oh you think that makes it /better/?!"
"Davey, it was a long time ago!"
"It doesn't matter! You still did it!"
"I did what I had to do!"
"You didn't have to do that! You could've found any other job and gotten a grant. You're smart, you write really well. You could've found one. You didn't have to fucking prostitute yourself to go to school!"
"That's not what I did!"
"You did!"
"That's not what I set out to do!"
"It doesn't matter! What were you thinking?! Why would you do something like that?! How could you not have more self worth than that?!"
"I don't know," she muttered, dropping her head.
She didn't expect Davey to understand. He'd only ever had 4 partners and they were long-term relationships. When he'd asked her how many partners she'd had, she said 3 He now knew that was a lie.
"How could you do something like that?" he asked, quietly.
"You always had parents who loved you and supported you but at that particular time in my life I didn't have anybody. So maybe it's easy for you to sit here and judge, but you don't know what it's like to be alone."
Davey didnt say anything. She sat there with tears forming in her eyes, watching him fall out of love with her over something she'd done almost a decade ago.
"I need some time to think about this," he said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I need to get out of here for awhile. I'm gonna take Julian to visit my parents, they've been asking to see him and I said I'd bring him today."
"Without telling me?"
"There seem to be a lot of things you don't tell me."
"Davey -" she said, reaching for his hand. He pulled it back. "I see."
"You see what?"
"You're trying to punish me."
"No, I'm not. I'm just angry right now and I really need to leave and clear my head."
"Fine. Leave. Or maybe I should just leave," she said, standing up and preparing to go upstairs and pack. "That's what you want, isn't it?"
"Litzy, we don't 'just leave.' We're married -"
"It was purely ceremonial. We're free to call it quits anytime we like."
"How can you say something like that?" he asked, looking genuinely wounded. "It's not the piece of paper that matters it's the vows you take and whether or not you truly mean them in your heart and in your soul. Four months ago you promised you would love me forever and now you're ready to 'call it quits?'"
"No! That's not what I meant!"
"That's what you just said!"
"I'm just angry!"
"Why are you angry?! I'm the one who was lied to for almost four years!"
"I never lied to you, I just didn't tell you! And I don't feel I should've had to tell you until things got serious between us."
He looked at her like he had no clue who she was.
"Davey, I'm sorry. Just tell me what to do to make it right."
"I don't know how to answer that."
"There has to be a way. I want you to look at me like you normally do. Not like you are right now."
"Just...give me a little space. Okay?"
She nodded, but she didn't know what that really meant. All she knew was that they would probably never be the same.
She sat around the house for hours waiting for him to come home. She was so bored, not because there wasn't anything to do. There were plenty of things she could be doing. But she didn't want to do any of them. She wanted to talk to Davey and hold her baby, the two things she couldn't do.
Fergie called, and their conversation took her mind off of her worry somewhat, but eventually she told her what was going on.
"Oh I don't think so," she said. "If Josh gave me that crap about giving him 'space' I absolutely would go nuts. 'Space?' 'Space' to do what? Something I don't want him doing, that's what."
"Davey's not like that, he probably does need time to think things over."
"Think what over? Whether or not he loves you? He already knows the answer to that. Look, a lot of people have pasts. That was another life. Eventually he'll see that. All he's doing now is brooding. Men can be so ridiculous. Don't even worry about it. He'll come home."
"I know, but when? I miss him. I just want to drive over to his parents house and make him forgive me now."
"Uhm, why can't you?"
"Because he needs 'space,' remember?"
"Pshh. That wouldn't stop me."
"Nothing," she said, forcing a smile. "Davey, I need to tell you something."
"Alright," he said, obviously sensing that this was important.
They both took a seat at the table. It was hard for her, looking at his beautiful face, to launch into such an ugly story. But she knew she had no choice.
"I loved my father, but he gambled. A lot. So much so that when he and my mom died in the accident, there was a lot of debt. There was nothing left for me, financially, except bills. I was starting my second year in school and financial aid wasn't cutting it. I needed money. I mean a lot of money. So...I did something I'm not proud of."
"What did you do?"
His face had gone completely serious and she could tell he was going to judge her for what she was about to say. But there was no way she could turn back now.
"For a semester I...I danced at a gentleman's club."
He blinked at her, lost for words.
"And I know they say that if all the girls who said they stripped to put themselves through school were telling the truth there'd be lots of Dr. Bambi's out there, but I'm not lying. I did it just for a semester and I saved that money to put myself through school."
"You took off your clothes for money?" he asked, slowly, as though he were trying to make sure he got it right.
"Yes."
He just stared at her, still in shock.
"Davey, I'm not proud of myself. I'm telling you this because you deserve to know."
"I deserve to know? Don't you think I deserved to know before I married you?"
"Would it have made a difference?" she asked, hurt.
"Litzy, I never was much for strip clubs, for obvious reasons, but I do know the kinds of things that go on in them. Those girls don't just dance."
"Some do."
"Did you?"
She knew this was the most important answer she would ever give in her life and because the truth was so shameful she really wanted to lie. It was probably the best thing to do in order to preserve his respect for her. But the problem was that she didn't know what Tyler knew, and if she lied and he came out with any kind of proof against her, she was done for. It seemed that honesty was the best policy.
"No."
He looked so disappointed. Then he looked away.
"Well, after working there awhile I had developed a bit of a coke problem," she explained, timidly. "And I didn't make the best decisions in certain situations -"
"Oh you think that makes it /better/?!"
"Davey, it was a long time ago!"
"It doesn't matter! You still did it!"
"I did what I had to do!"
"You didn't have to do that! You could've found any other job and gotten a grant. You're smart, you write really well. You could've found one. You didn't have to fucking prostitute yourself to go to school!"
"That's not what I did!"
"You did!"
"That's not what I set out to do!"
"It doesn't matter! What were you thinking?! Why would you do something like that?! How could you not have more self worth than that?!"
"I don't know," she muttered, dropping her head.
She didn't expect Davey to understand. He'd only ever had 4 partners and they were long-term relationships. When he'd asked her how many partners she'd had, she said 3 He now knew that was a lie.
"How could you do something like that?" he asked, quietly.
"You always had parents who loved you and supported you but at that particular time in my life I didn't have anybody. So maybe it's easy for you to sit here and judge, but you don't know what it's like to be alone."
Davey didnt say anything. She sat there with tears forming in her eyes, watching him fall out of love with her over something she'd done almost a decade ago.
"I need some time to think about this," he said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that I need to get out of here for awhile. I'm gonna take Julian to visit my parents, they've been asking to see him and I said I'd bring him today."
"Without telling me?"
"There seem to be a lot of things you don't tell me."
"Davey -" she said, reaching for his hand. He pulled it back. "I see."
"You see what?"
"You're trying to punish me."
"No, I'm not. I'm just angry right now and I really need to leave and clear my head."
"Fine. Leave. Or maybe I should just leave," she said, standing up and preparing to go upstairs and pack. "That's what you want, isn't it?"
"Litzy, we don't 'just leave.' We're married -"
"It was purely ceremonial. We're free to call it quits anytime we like."
"How can you say something like that?" he asked, looking genuinely wounded. "It's not the piece of paper that matters it's the vows you take and whether or not you truly mean them in your heart and in your soul. Four months ago you promised you would love me forever and now you're ready to 'call it quits?'"
"No! That's not what I meant!"
"That's what you just said!"
"I'm just angry!"
"Why are you angry?! I'm the one who was lied to for almost four years!"
"I never lied to you, I just didn't tell you! And I don't feel I should've had to tell you until things got serious between us."
He looked at her like he had no clue who she was.
"Davey, I'm sorry. Just tell me what to do to make it right."
"I don't know how to answer that."
"There has to be a way. I want you to look at me like you normally do. Not like you are right now."
"Just...give me a little space. Okay?"
She nodded, but she didn't know what that really meant. All she knew was that they would probably never be the same.
She sat around the house for hours waiting for him to come home. She was so bored, not because there wasn't anything to do. There were plenty of things she could be doing. But she didn't want to do any of them. She wanted to talk to Davey and hold her baby, the two things she couldn't do.
Fergie called, and their conversation took her mind off of her worry somewhat, but eventually she told her what was going on.
"Oh I don't think so," she said. "If Josh gave me that crap about giving him 'space' I absolutely would go nuts. 'Space?' 'Space' to do what? Something I don't want him doing, that's what."
"Davey's not like that, he probably does need time to think things over."
"Think what over? Whether or not he loves you? He already knows the answer to that. Look, a lot of people have pasts. That was another life. Eventually he'll see that. All he's doing now is brooding. Men can be so ridiculous. Don't even worry about it. He'll come home."
"I know, but when? I miss him. I just want to drive over to his parents house and make him forgive me now."
"Uhm, why can't you?"
"Because he needs 'space,' remember?"
"Pshh. That wouldn't stop me."
Sign up to rate and review this story