FicWad

WARNING: This is a death fic!

Chapter 1/1

Darren slowly opened his eyes and was shocked to see Daniel standing beside the bed looking at him. It took him a few seconds to remember what had happened before he woke up and why he was so shocked to see Daniel standing there. Slowly his shocked expression changed to a smile, becoming wider with every second; he jumped up from the bed with happy tears in his eyes and threw his arms around Daniel, holding him close.

"D-Danny...I am so glad to see you...I-I thought...!"

He couldn't say anymore as he started sobbing in Daniel's arms. Daniel held him close.

"Hey it's ok love...I'm here!" said Daniel soothingly.

Darren kept sobbing and trying to tell Daniel why he was so upset.

"I-I thought I'd lost you Danny!" he said between sobs. "I thought you were dead!"

"Of course you haven't lost me, I'm here with you babe...I'm here!" said Daniel as he continued to hold him close.

"It was just a dream wasn't it? Just a terrible dream!" he said with tears still falling down his cheeks.

"Yeah...do you want to talk about it?" asked Daniel sympathetically.

Darren sniffled.

"You got killed!" he told him sadly.

"Really?"

"Yeah...it was awful...!"

Darren took a moment to calm down then he wiped his eyes and went on to tell Daniel all about his dream.

"We'd been to the ARIA's...I'd actually won an award for the best selling single by an Australian artist, and you'd won an award for best producer! It was a great night and so good for us to be winning awards again, even if it was for different projects. Afterwards, we were going to have a private celebration but then, when we were driving home...a truck...it came out of nowhere...!"

Darren took some deep breaths to calm himself then continued.

"You swerved, tried to avoid it but...you didn't stand a chance Danny...it came crashing into the car, right into you!"

He started sobbing again, and clung to Daniel like his life depended on it; even though he realised it had just been a dream it had seemed so vivid that he found it difficult to believe that it wasn't real.

"They got us out," he continued after a few minutes. "But, although I just had a cut on my forehead and a couple of broken ribs...you took the full force and were too badly hurt...they said you would have died instantly, that you wouldn't have felt any pain...it didn't make it any better for me but I was so glad that you didn't suffer, I'd hate for you to suffer! I was hurting so much without you that I was on tranquilizers...it was awful having to go to your funeral...I wanted to jump in the grave to be with you and after we buried you, I just couldn't cope without you...I didn't want to live any more...I wanted to be with you!"

He started sobbing even more and Daniel held him closer soothing him with soft words.

"I'm sorry Danny," said Darren when he finally calmed down. "I know I'm being dumb...it was just a dream...you're not really dead, you're here with me; it just seemed so real and I couldn't bear it if I really lost you!"

"You'll never lose me babe, we're together forever!" Daniel assured him.

"You know, it wasn't like a dream, it seemed so real...do you think it was a premonition...do you think it could really happen?"

"I don't think so love...it was just a dream!" Daniel assured him.

Darren wasn't so sure.

"I'm not taking any chances...let's not drive anywhere...we'll let someone else drive us when we go anywhere...that way if it was a premonition it can't come true!"

Daniel smiled lovingly at him.

"Babe...if it's meant to happen then it will...you can't dodge fate!"

"We can try!" Darren insisted.

"Yeah," Daniel agreed with a smile. "We can try!"

Darren was so relieved that Daniel wasn't dead after all and was so happy to be with him, but his dream had shaken him up so much that over the next few days he insisted that they didn't even leave the house as he didn't want to risk his dream coming true; Daniel was happy to go along with it until Darren got over his bad dream. About a week after the dream they were sat in their bedroom.

"Do you want to take a walk?" Daniel asked Darren.

"Sure, you didn't get killed while we were walking, where do you want to go?"

Daniel didn't reply, he just took Darren by the hand and led him out of the bedroom door and down the stairs. Darren was surprised to hear voices downstairs.

"Danny...do we have visitors?" he asked.

"Yeah, you could say that!" replied Daniel.

As they got downstairs Darren saw a lot of their friends were there, including the members of the Savage Garden touring band and their backing singers; Leo and her husband Rob were there too. Then he saw his and Daniel's parents, he was puzzled.

"Danny...why are all these people here?" he asked, a smile appearing on his lips. "Did you organise a surprise party for me? It's not my birthday...why are you having a party for me?"

He didn't wait for Daniel to reply.

"Hey, who cares why, all our friends and our families are here, that's all I need to know; and besides when did we need a reason to have a party?"

Darren ran happily to the lounge room and called out to his mum.

"Hey mum it's so good to see you!" he called.

His mum didn't seem to hear him and walked away, he saw his dad approach her. He put his arms around her and held her close to him, Darren wasn't sure, but it looked like she was crying.

"Mum...what's wrong?" he said as he walked towards her.

She didn't answer and he saw that she really was crying.

"It's ok love," he heard his dad say to her. "They're together now, they can be happy together!"

His soothing words didn't console her and she cried even more. Darren tried to comfort his mum wondering what had happened to get her so upset. She didn't answer him and continued sobbing in his dad's arms; he turned to Daniel.

"Danny, what's going on...did someone die?"

Daniel looked at him sadly and nodded.

"Yeah, that's right!" he told him reluctantly.

"Who...who died...is it someone I know?"

"Yeah you know him!"

"Who is it?"

He looked around and although he could see his sister, he couldn't see his brother; he panicked as he realised that his brother must be the person who had died.

"Is it Peter? Please Danny...please tell me it's not Peter!" he said desperately trying to control his threatening tears.

"No love, it's not Peter!" he assured him.

"You promise?"

"Yeah I promise...look there he is!" he told him.

"Thank God for that...I really thought...but if it's not Peter, then who?"

Daniel took his hand and led him across the room; no one seemed to take any notice of him as he made his way across the room with Daniel. Then he saw something which sent a chill through him.

"Danny...why is there a coffin in our lounge room?" he asked nervously.

Daniel looked into his eyes and saw confusion and sadness there; still holding Darren's hand he led him further across the room to where the coffin lay. He could tell that Darren was getting more anxious with each step but he knew that he had to show him this to make him understand what had happened. Maybe he should have told him sooner but he hadn't felt able to tell him before. As they reached the coffin, Darren couldn't bear to see who was inside and he closed his eyes to avoid looking; Daniel noticed and squeezed his hand gently.

"Open your eyes Dar," he said softly.

Darren shook his head.

"Open them!" he insisted.

Darren took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes, as he looked down at the body in the coffin he screamed and reeled back in shock; Daniel put his arms around him and held him. Darren looked up at Daniel, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Who is it Danny...why does he look like me?" he asked in confusion.

"Because it is you!" Daniel told him gently.

Darren shook his head.

"But...how can that be me? I'm me...I'm here...how can that be me?"

"Because it wasn't a dream Dar!"

"What wasn't a dream?" said Darren.

"The dream you said you had...where I died...it wasn't a dream!"

"Of course it was, you're not dead...you're here with me! Of course it was a dream!"

"Can you remember what happened right before you woke up and saw me at the side of the bed?"

Darren thought back to his dream.

"Yeah, I remember!"

"What happened?" he asked him.

"I couldn't stand it any more...I couldn't live without you!"

"So what did you do?"

He thought about it again.

"I took a knife out of the kitchen drawer and I went up to our bedroom and lay on the bed, then I wrote a note saying I was sorry but I had to be with you! Then I took the knife...and cut across each of my wrists...I just lay there watching the blood spurt out and then I felt dizzy and sick and then...it all went dark...I couldn't see anything but darkness until I woke up and saw you...and then I knew it was just a dream!"

"But it wasn't Dar...all that really happened!" Daniel told him. "You made sure that you were alone in the house so that no one would find you in time and you ended your life!"

"I'm not dead Danny!" he insisted. "How can I be dead? I'm here talking to you!"

"Babe...did it not occur to you that no one has talked to you or even acknowledged your presence since you came into the room?"

"They're all upset...they're not bothered about me!" he reasoned.

"No it's not that...of course they're upset but the reason they haven't talked or listened to you is because they can't see or hear you!"

"Of course they can!" Darren insisted, still not willing to believe what Daniel was telling him.

He called out to his mum and dad, they ignored him again; he couldn't understand it.

"Look in the mirror Dar," said Daniel.

"Why?" asked Darren, puzzled.

"Just do it...it might help you to believe what I'm telling you."

Darren walked over to the mirror on the wall and looked into it, he could see everyone around him but he couldn't see his own reflection and as he looked further he realised that he couldn't see Daniel either. He looked to the side and saw that Daniel was stood right beside him, his arm around his shoulder; he checked the mirror again but still he couldn't see his or Daniel's reflections.

"Danny, what's going on...where are our reflections?"

"Ghosts don't have reflections!" Daniel told him seriously.

"Ghosts...what do you mean?" asked Darren, his confusion even more apparent.

"This is your funeral love...you're dead."

"No, I'm not! If I'm dead, how come you can see me?"

"Because I'm dead too...don't you understand what I'm saying?"

"I don't know...we're both dead...we're ghosts?"

"That's right love, I died in that accident...it happened exactly as you described it but it wasn't a dream. Like you said, you couldn't go on without me...I so wanted you to be strong and get on with your life but it was like you just gave up. When I saw you take the knife up to the bedroom I was so afraid for you, I could tell what you were about to do...I saw you write your suicide note...you were crying so hard and I just wanted to hold you and tell you that it would get better if you could just hold on for a bit longer. I tried to help you...but I couldn't stop you and you killed yourself so that you could be with me!"

Darren shook his head, he couldn't believe what he was hearing; how could he be dead? But if it was true that Daniel was dead then he hoped it was true that he was dead too because he knew that he wouldn't be able to go on with his life without Daniel.

"Is this really true?" he asked, still not wanting to believe they were both dead.

"Yeah it's true love...I wish it wasn't but it is...look!"

He took both Darren's hands in his and held them up to show Darren his wrists, Darren was appalled as he looked at his wrists and saw slash marks on them.

"I...really did it...didn't I?" he asked cautiously.

"Yeah you did!" Daniel confirmed.

"Who found me? Please tell me it wasn't Leo!"

"No, it wasn't Leo, she was downstairs with Cal; Rob came looking for you and found you. He was horrified when he saw you lying there with all that blood...he told Leo to call an ambulance but he made her stay out, he didn't want her to see you like that...he knew it was too late!"

"So you were there...you saw it all?"

"Yeah I saw everything, I really tried so hard to stop you...you still had so much to live for, but I couldn't do anything to stop you...I'm sorry that I couldn't help you!"

"It's not your fault Danny, you didn't cause the accident that you died in, but I couldn't bear to live without you so the only thing I could do was to join you in death."

"You would have got over me if you'd have given yourself more time...you would have found love again eventually."

"No I wouldn't...you're the only person I've ever really loved and you're the only person who ever really loved me, apart from my family. I couldn't have found that kind of love again; we only get one true love in a lifetime."

"Maybe...but I wish you had've given yourself more time...you really had a lot to live for!"

"No I didn't, I had nothing to live for...it hurt too much to be living without you...being here with you now, even though we're dead, means so much to me!"

Darren hugged Daniel and tried to come to terms with what he'd learned.

"You say that you were there with me when I killed myself," Darren said after a few moments. "How long have you been with me?"

"I've been with you ever since the accident!" Daniel told him.

"Really...right from the start?" said Darren hardly able to believe it.

"Yeah right from the start...I never left you babe. The medics were right, you know, I didn't suffer...it hurt a bit when I hit my head but because of the other injuries I got...I was killed more or less instantly! My soul left my body and I went with you in the ambulance; I've been by your side all the time since then."

"Why didn't your soul go to Heaven?"

"I don't know, but I didn't want to leave you anyway, I wanted to stay with you to make sure that you were going to be ok. It was so difficult for me to be so close to you but unable to touch you or comfort you when you cried...I knew how devastated you were and I so wanted to let you know that I was there with you and that you had to get on with your life without me but I just couldn't get through to you!"

"I could feel you...your presence...!"

"You could?"

"Yeah...I thought I was going crazy or it was just wishful thinking, but I felt that you were still with me."

"I thought you could, at least I hoped you could...when you talked to me it was like you knew I was there."

"I knew you could hear me...I knew that if it was possible for you to listen to me then you would...were you cuddling up to me in the bed? I felt that you were there with me!"

"I was there love...I couldn't get in bed with you because I couldn't move the covers but I lay on top and put my arm around you...although I couldn't feel you, I hoped that you could at least sense that I was there with you."

"I really could feel you there...not physically but I just knew you were there!"

Daniel continued holding Darren close to him for a few moments, Darren still could hardly believe that this was true but he was so happy to be with Daniel again as he realised that it really hadn't been a dream after all.

"If this is my funeral," said Darren. "Then I must have been dead for about a week right...so how come I didn't know that I was dead until now?"

"When your soul left your body and you saw me standing beside the bed you assumed that it had all been a dream and I couldn't tell you the truth...you were so happy when you thought it had all been a dream, so I thought I would allow you to believe that for as long as I could."

"It had just happened when I 'woke up' from my 'dream'?"

"Yeah, that's why I made sure that you didn't look over to the bed...your body was lying there covered in blood and I didn't want you to see that. Do you remember we went outside and we stayed out there until quite late?"

"Yeah," said Darren, smiling at the memory. "It was really romantic sitting out in the garden with you!"

"Yeah it was...but that's when your body was found and taken away."

"How do you know who found me if you were outside with me?"

"You fell asleep and when I heard Leo and Robert calling you I went into the house and followed Robert up the stairs; I really hoped that Leo would stay downstairs and luckily she did. Rob almost threw up when he saw you; I dread to think how Leo would have reacted!"

"Was it really bad...really messy?"

"You slit your wrists, of course it was messy!"

"Yeah, I guess it would be! How come I fell asleep...I wouldn't have thought that ghosts would need to sleep?"

"It's not like a real sleep but the soul needs to rest, even when you're dead."

Darren was confused about how he could have been dead for a week without realising.

"How could I not know that I was dead? I don't understand it!"

"It happens...I don't understand how either but I have met other spirits since I died, who don't realise that they are just spirits. They go about their lives as if they are still alive, I knew that I was dead because I saw my lifeless body after my soul left it, so when I realised that these 'people' could see me I realised that they were also spirits!"

"It must have been scary for you, seeing your body like that?"

"Yeah it was a bit," Daniel admitted. "But the worst thing was seeing what you went through...I know you said that your injuries weren't too serious but they did almost lose you in the ambulance!"

"They did?"

"Yeah, I prayed that you would make it through and luckily you did."

"It wasn't too lucky for me; it meant I had to live without you and I really didn't want to!"

"Well you don't have to now!"

"No I don't...thanks Danny!" said Darren.

"For what?" asked Daniel, confused.

"For not telling me before today...it was a shock when I saw my body in the coffin but I'm glad that I didn't know that we were dead before now...I had a great week just being with you!"

"I'm glad that I didn't too, we didn't get a chance to say goodbye so it was like having a second chance at our last few days...except this time we don't have to say goodbye because we'll always be together now!"

"Well now we know that it's true about love surviving death!" said Darren.

"Yeah, it certainly does love...I'll always love you throughout eternity!"

"And I'll always love you too, there's no one I would rather spend eternity with than you!"

They held each other for a few more moments.

"What happens now Danny?" asked Darren finally.

"They'll be leaving for the funeral soon love," Daniel replied.

"Will they do what I asked?"

"Yeah they know that you want to be buried with me, so that's what they'll do...do you want to go?"

"Go to my own funeral?"

"A lot of spirits do apparently...I did, I was right beside you at the graveside...I so wanted to hold you and tell you I was there with you."

While Darren was thinking about what to do, the funeral director started putting the lid on his coffin and securing it, getting ready to take it away for the funeral.

"Ok, let's do it!" said Darren at last.

** * **

After the service in the church the funeral party went to the cemetery where the rest of the service was performed, as Darren and Daniel stood watching. Darren got very upset seeing his mum crying so much as he moved to stand beside her and he wished that she knew how happy he was to be reunited with Daniel so that she would feel better.

The coffin was lowered into the ground and Darren's mum and sister cried even more as they thought of what they had lost. Daniel held Darren, knowing how strange this would feel for him to see himself being buried.

"Are you ok?" Daniel asked him.

Darren looked at him and Daniel could tell that he wasn't.

"I'm sorry Danny, I did the right thing for me, but I've been a selfish bastard haven't I?"

"They'll be ok love; they'll help each other through this!"

"I didn't think about who I was hurting; I just wanted to be with you!" said Darren sadly. "I'm glad I'm with you but I hate to see my family hurting like this!"

He stood sadly watching his loved ones as they said goodbye to him, and then he moved closer to his mum and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Mum, I know you can't hear me," Darren said softly. "But I hope you know how much I love you and I hope that you will one day understand why I had to do what I did. I know how you feel because my heart was breaking too after Daniel died; I'm sorry for hurting you but I had to be with Daniel."

"Sleep peacefully darling," she whispered through her tears. "I love you and I'm going to miss you so much, but I understand how much you were hurting after you lost Daniel and that you had to be with him; I know how much you love him!"

Darren wondered if it was just coincidence or if she'd actually heard him, but he realised he would probably never know the truth. He and Daniel watched as his mother broke down in tears again before Darren's father led her from the grave followed by his sister and her husband and then his brother and his wife. The rest of his relatives and friends left the graveside, and then Darren and Daniel stood beside the grave looking down at Darren's coffin.

"So that's it Danny, our bodies are together down there and our souls will be together forever! What do you think will happen to us now?"

"I don't know babe, I'm guessing we're not going to Heaven...but whatever happens, we'll be together!"

"Yeah, I don't care if it is true that we won't go to Heaven because of our so called 'forbidden love'...I don't need Heaven so long as I've got you!"

The end!