FicWad

Chapter 14 But I Don't Wanna

Harry stared wide-eyed at the man. His clothes looked even shabbier than usual, and Harry noticed that his eyes looked very red and blotchy. "Is everything alright Professor?" Harry moved further into the room, and watched as Lupin gave a sort of half smile.

"Well you know Harry not really, but I didn't come here to talk about my well being." Harry raised his eyebrows at the man, He couldn't help but be a little confused by this statement, and more than a little worried.

"Sir than what did you come to talk about?" Lupin's once handsome face seemed to turn even more grave, and he motioned for Harry to sit in one of the desks. Reluctantly Harry followed. In truth he was not really sure if he wanted to know what had made the man so upset.

"Harry I was actually summoned here to see about you." Harry frowned at this. Okay so his behavior and his attendance hadn't been at the all time best, but he hardly thought someone needed to be 'summoned' on his behalf. Especially such an important member of the Order.

"Well there's no need Professor. I'm all better now, so you can tell Dumbledore to stop worrying." Lupin sighed, running his fingers through his hair that was slowly turning more and more gray.

"Harry there's no need to lie." Harry was about to cut in, and say he that he wasn't lying when a hand silenced him. "If you are really as you're telling me, then how come you just ran in here crying?" The raven-haired boy opened and shut his mouth, not really knowing what to say. He did have a point though. So he wasn't perfect, but to reprimand him on crying was just not fair. Seeing as how Lupin himself had all the symptoms of someone who had cried themselves to sleep a lot recently.

"That was personal." He bit out, and as an afterthought added. " And believe me it won't happen again." This time it was Lupin who frowned. Harry could feel the anger start to boil up inside him. He hated the fact that one of both his father's and Sirius' closest friends was now looking down on him. "And by the way I don't need a father to come and scold me when I get bad...I had two of those remember? And as I recalled I got them both killed, so it might not be a position you want to try to take on lightly."

Lupin's eyes widened at that, and then they were filled with a deep sadness. Harry could already see traces of tears starting to form in the corner of his eyes. "So this does have something to do with Sirius." It was more of a statement than a question, and Harry felt himself getting angry again.

"No. This has nothing to do with my godfather, so before you start that 'oh it wasn't your fault...you don't need to change bullshit' save it cuz I've heard it, and it's crap."

"But Harry it wasn't you fault..." Harry's eyes burned with fire. He had had enough.

"I SAID SAVE IT!" Harry was shaking with anger, but the strange thing was he didn't really see what could have gotten him this mad. Sure Sirius was a touchy subject, but he had never thought he would have gone so ballistic. A sneaky suspicion was forming in his head that it might have something to do with him already being hella pissed at Draco. "Listen I'll talk to you, but not about Sirius, and if that's all you wanted to talk about then you might as well leave." Harry saw a single tear slide down the werewolf's cheek, and felt a little remorse for making him cry. After what seemed like centuries Lupin spoke again. Although his voice was much softer, and held a raspiness to it.

"No Harry, that's not all I came to talk to you about." Lupin paused, and inspected Harry's features as though not sure whether to continue. "Now Harry I know this might be a bit personal, but you see I have to ask, because of who he is." Harry smiled halfway through, and the werewolf gave him a quizzical look. So that was what this whole interrogation was about? Though now that he thought about it he really wasn't all that surprised. He had been expecting it sooner as a matter of fact.

"Oh I get it! You came to ask me how I could ever be crazy enough to get involved with a Malfoy...Am I close?" Lupin nodded, but looked sharply at Harry when he began to laugh. "And here I thought this was going to be something important. Don't worry about me and Malfoy sir...There is no more me and Malfoy." Lupin's eyes widened at this.

"What happened?" Harry scoffed at this. Was the man really trying to ask that question. He wouldn't be so mad about it, but whenever somebody asked it they always had they fake concern in their voice. If they didn't approve they should just say instead of trying to pull off all that sincerity crap. Everyone was obviously glad that him and Draco were through, and yet they acted like it was a big tragedy.

"What do you think happened? He's a dick...pardon my French professor. But anyways like I said you don't have to worry about me getting abducted, or joining the other side, or whatever you were worried about, because I am 100% Malfoy free." Harry gave Lupin a huge grin, and was disheartened, but not surprised, when he didn't receive one back.

"That's good to hear Harry, but still the situation is serious. When you were with him...did you let anything about our side slip?" Harry narrowed his eyes. So they thought he was an idiot who couldn't keep his mouth shut? How dare they think that he would just tell secrets about the Order like that. It was amazing how much they babied him, and he resented it terribly.

"No Lupin during our pillow talks I didn't mention anything." He said those words with more venom than was necessary, and his former teacher seemed to have caught on.

"Don't take it the wrong way Harry. It's just we needed to know...I mean with the way you've been acting lately you shouldn't be surprised it was a thought that occurred to everyone." Harry got up from his chair.

"Well it's good to know the Order has so much trust in me...and for your information Lupin Draco hates Voldemort. He would never be on that decrepit bastard's side! So get your facts straight before you go accusing your allies...or am I even that anymore?" Lupin got up too, and the sadness was back in his eyes. This time however Harry could care less. Let him be sad, it was nothing compared to how he was feeling.

"Don't be like this Harry. You know you don't really believe those things." Harry narrowed his eyes. He wasn't really liking this so called 'reunion'.

"Listen I have things to do. So unless there's anything else, I'll be going now." Harry turned to leave, but a strong hand on his shoulder stopped him. He sighed before turning back around. "Yes?" The word escaped him in a tone that would have probably gotten him slapped if he was still back at the Dursleys'. He heard the man sigh, and suddenly realized how tired he sounded.

"I'll always be there for you Harry. Just because Sirius died." Harry made a hissing noise at that, but Lupin ignored it. "Just because he died doesn't mean you're alone...I've taken up the empty Defense Against the Dark Arts post again so I can be closer to you." Harry quickly nodded, and walked away. Not really knowing what else to do, or for that matter if he could do anything else.
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Harry stretched in bed. It had been a week since the little 'great hall' incident, and it had gone pretty much without a hitch. Though today had been the day Harry had been dreading since he decided to come back into public. Today started off with a double potions lesson. Now it wasn't abnormal for him to dread potions, but this time however it was different. It was almost like he was terrified to even step through the door. He couldn't place his finger on it, but it was as if they shouldn't even be having a potions lesson. Not one with Snape anyways.

"Harry get up. Let's go to breakfast." Harry sighed at Ron's sleepy voice drifted from the other side of the curtains, but reluctantly rolled out of bed. He saw the red head smile at his tired form, and if he had the energy he would have scowled. Without really thinking about it he began to get dressed. "Holy shit Harry where the hell did you get that?"

Harry spun around towards his friend, trying to see what he was gaping at. "Get what Ron?" He watched the red head frown, and then shake his head disbelievingly.

"Fuck I didn't think even you were that thick...The tattoo Harry! When did you get the tattoo?" A weight settled in the pit of the Gryffindor's stomach. He hadn't even thought about the mark on his back since the day on the train with Draco. The arrogant blond had never bothered to explain where he had got the thing. However he doubted that his friend would like his answer which was 'I don't know,' so he lied.

"Malfoy did it..." As an afterthought he added. "stupid prick." He had been doing that a lot lately. Making whatever snide comments he could towards Draco seemed to get Ron on his good side. After seeing that it had indeed worked again, Harry continued pulling on his robes. His mind however was on the snake that was strangely tingling on his back.

After the uncomfortable morning, he arrived at an even more uncomfortable breakfast. The Slytherins' favorite pastime nowadays was to sit at their table scowling at Harry why they ate their own meal. Today however was a thousand times worse, because the Gryffindor-Slytherin match was the next day. By just walking into the room it caused the entire table to bust out into hisses. Plenty of insults were thrown at him while walking to his seat, and he did his best to ignore them.

Without looking up he sat down by Seamus and Ron, fully focused on the act of just spreading jam on toast. Though after he had accomplished this world renowned act, he found that he couldn't eat. His thoughts kept traveling back to the mark on his back, and he did something he had made sure not to do for an entire week, he looked at Draco.

Harry gasped at what he saw. It wasn't anything different, but just looking at the blond took his breath away. He was picking at some eggs and bacon. Strangely enough though he wasn't talking to anyone. His hair had grown, and was now cascaded in front of his eyes. Harry's heart clenched when Draco looked up. The blond seemed a bit surprised to find Harry staring at him, but quickly covered it with a sneer. Though, despite the hostility, Harry didn't look away. He was transfixed with the blond's beautiful pink lips, and he couldn't brake the lock between their eyes. For some reason he felt if he did they would never share such a moment again. Finally Draco began to lose patience, and mouthed the word 'what.' Harry realized how desperately he missed him. That said he quickly looked down. He had to be strong after all.
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"Pull out your books, and turn to page 196. We will be studying aging potions today, and after you have finished reading the chapter you will write a 2 foot long essay on the effects of it." Harry looked up when Snape entered the classroom, and felt his eyes widen. Truthfully he had no idea why this feeling of dread was with him, but he felt himself begin to shake when he locked eyes with the greasy potions professor.

Although he had to admit to himself that that might have something to do with the fact that his body had suddenly gone rigid from the cold. He had no idea how they could legally keep it so cold down in the dungeons. He found it strange though that the coldest part of his body was the mark on his back. It literally felt like it was going to freeze off if he had to be there any longer. "Ah Mr. Potter. How good of you to join our little class for once...Tell me did you have a nice little vacation last week?"

Harry looked up at Snape, and wished that he hadn't. His eyes teared up, and he felt like he would pass out. His back hurt terribly, and he wished he was anywhere but there. He couldn't help but think that Draco had put some magical mark on him. Using said mark to just torture him whenever he wanted to. Just thinking that he shot a look at the blond, and was surprised by what he saw. He was completely white in the face, and staring directly back at him with what Harry could have sworn was concern. The concern was shot lived though, because as soon as he caught him looking the blond immediately turned away. Harry forgot totally about Snape, and was only reminded of him when two hands slammed down on his desk.

"Mr. Potter I asked you a question, and you would do well to answer it." Harry was shocked for a second. For one thing he had totally forgot what the question was. Now normally in these situations you can get off with just a simple nod, but at seeing Snape's face he realized that this was definitely not one of those situations. He winced when the potions professor grabbed his face, and he could have sworn he heard a sort of growling coming from somewhere in the room. This was blocked out of his mind however when he felt a surge of icy coldness go through his body. He looked directly into Snape's eyes, and not for the first time felt fear. "Mr. Potter you will do well to pay attention in my class...and you will do even better to never miss one of my classes again. If you do I can assure you the consequences will be dire." That said he walked to the front of his class, plopping down into his ratty old chair. Sadly his little outburst seemed to affect the entire class, and they were all transfixed looking from Harry to Snape. "Get to work now. Unless you want detention of course." This subtle threat seemed to snap everyone out of their daze, and Harry heard pages turning at a remarkable rate. He however couldn't concentrate on homework. His mind was still caught up on Snape's cold touch...so very much like another touch he knew well.

Harry's head was spinning. There was no reason why Snape should remind him of Silas. There really wasn't much to compare now was there? They had the same color hair, but that didn't matter because while one was long, greasy, and disgusting. The other was short, spiky, and pretty. Harry made a mental note not to describe anything as pretty again before he went on with his evaluation. They were both relatively evil, yet in different ways, so that couldn't be it either. A little voice in the back of his head kept telling him that there was something he should know about the greasy haired professor.

He looked around the room again. His friends were busily scribbling on their parchment about the many uses of any aging potion, and so getting no help from them his gaze traveled over to his ex-lover. The blond's eyes were staring at his book, but Harry knew he wasn't doing his work, because they were out of focus and not moving. This struck Harry as very odd. Potions had always been Draco's favorite subject. He was first in the class next to Hermione. Although hadn't Ron said something about Draco acting odd in this class? Harry thought about how Ron had said he had almost acted afraid of Snape, and he could only think of one person the blond was afraid of. The two things clicked in Harry's mind, and he really wished they wouldn't have.

Images of Christmas break flooded back to him. His deal with Silas, the darkness, and Snape. Snape was dead! Then that meant that this imposter Snape was. "Oh shit!" Faces turned to look at Harry at his outburst, but he didn't at this point care. He leapt out of his seat, letting the stool clatter unnoticed behind him, and white faced made a beeline for the door. He vaguely heard Snape, or rather Silas, telling Draco to go after him.

Harry ran as fast as he could. He ran until his lungs ached, and his veins pumped battery acid. He ran until he couldn't run anymore. He ran until he ended up in the opposite side of the dungeons. A part Harry knew people didn't go. It was deserted besides a few chains where the previous caretaker had punished the students. Harry could feel the bile rising to the top of his throat, and he let it out. Wiping his mouth, he sank against the wall. After sinking his head in his knees he let the tears fall.

It completely baffled him on how he could be so stupid as to forget all of that. Lupin was right...he definitely was not okay. In fact he was about as far from okay as you could get. He had dumbly sworn his allegiance to three different parties...two of which, up until the mark had been burned into his back, he had been sure were on the same side. He grabbed the side of his head, willing it to remember what had happened during the two weeks of fuzziness, but all he could see was darkness.

"Are you alright?" Harry's head snapped up at the familiar voice, but found it a lot less comforting than he had previously.

"Go away Malfoy...I just want to be alone." When he heard a scoff he looked back up to see the blond had kneeled down beside him, and they were now only inches away. Harry felt his heart skip when he felt the blond's hot breath on his lips.

"You remember don't you? That's why you ran away." Harry's self control was slipping away from him, and he felt himself inching closer and closer to the body in front of him. He quickly nodded, which caused Draco to frown. "I didn't want you to find out like that...I was gonna tell you, but well I think you know why that wasn't possible." Harry looked into gray eyes, and didn't see any resent, quite the opposite in fact they looked completely sincere and caring. Whatever self control he still had flew out the window.

Harry flung himself forward so that he was buried in the blond's arms. He snuggled his head into Draco's chest, and could feel him stiffen. He didn't feel the normal arms come around him, but at this point he didn't care. He was just glad to be able to touch him again, and snuggled even closer, crawling all the way onto his lap. Once there he let himself truly cry.

Harry went a step more, moving up to Draco's face. He ignored the angered look, and instead began laying kisses everywhere he could touch. He touched his lips to the blond's, and immediately deepened it. Although after about a minute of no response, he pulled back.

Of all the things Harry expected to see in the blond's face, fury was not one of them. He thought he would see a smirk of satisfaction by the fact that Harry had literally crawled back to him, but no. Draco's lip was curled in a snarl, and Harry could hear a faint growling sound coming from low in his throat. Harry's eyes widened when the blond pounced, pinning the Gryffindor underneath him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Potter?" Draco's eyes were narrowed, and he continued to drive Harry further into the stone ground. For the most part though Harry couldn't help but feel extremely turned on. A moan escaped his lips, and he watched Draco's eyes narrow further. Harry gasped as a hand struck his face, and he could feel slight blood forming at the corner of his mouth. "Do you think that just because you become a whiny slobbering brat and jump on me that all's forgiven?"

Harry thinking that this was just another of Draco's 'punishments' raised his hips to meet the blond's. He heard the him growl again...although he thought there was a slight moan too, though that didn't matter. The blond was soon off him, and he found himself thrown against the wall. "Don't let your fucking ego get the best of you Potter...You weren't that good." Harry was confused by this statement.

"What are you talking about?" To this Draco laughed, before walking over to Harry's crumpled form against the wall. Once there Harry bit back a yelp as he harshly grabbed his face.

"Please Potter do you really think that when I came here that my intentions were to sleep with your disgusting carcass?" This only accomplished confusing the raven-haired boy more, and he looked up at Draco with questioning eyes. "God you're thick...okay fine let me explain this more clearly. Do you really think that after all the shit you did to me that I would ever lower myself so much to sleep with you again?...You weren't that good, and I could definitely get better." Harry's eyes darkened, and he pulled his face out of the blond's hands.

"I don't know what I ever saw in such a bastard!" Harry spat out, and Draco put a hand over his heart in mock pain. "If you're not here to console me, then why the fuck did you come here?" Draco started to laugh, and Harry was really wondering what he could have possibly said that was so funny.

"Is that what you call a good old fuck these days Potter...'consoling?'" Harry scowled, and began to pick himself off the ground. He had definitely had quite enough of this conversation.

"You never answered my question...Why did you come here?" Draco shrugged, and Harry balled up his fists, ready to punch the blond at the first thing he said.

"Silas' orders...but then again you should know all about those. Tell me Harry when you sold your soul what were you thinking about?" Harry felt tears brimming at his eyes again, and knew he had to get out of there.

"You're an asshole Malfoy...You want to know what I was thinking about when I got that fucking mark?" Draco smirked.

"Oh yes lover-boy, please enlighten me." Harry couldn't hold back anymore. He swung at Draco with all his strength, and was surprised when he felt his fist caught. "You didn't think you could get away with that little move twice, did you?"

"You know for a second there...yeah, I kinda did." Draco smirked before releasing Harry's arm.

"Now Potter, before your little antics, you were telling me about what you were thinking of." An idea popped into Harry's head, and he smirked. He took a step forward, cupping the blond's cheek.

"I would think that would have been obvious Draco. What do I always think about?...you." Harry reveled in how the blond's eyes widened, and then softened remarkably. He moved in closer so that there lips were barely touching, and heard Draco's breath hitch. He waited an agonizingly long moment until the blond shut his eyes, and then with all his strength kneed him in the groin. He watched the blond gasp, and then double over, finally falling to the floor, groaning in pain. As he was walking away he thought he aught to have the last bitchy word so he added "asshole" before walking back to the Gryffindor common room.
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Due in large part to what had happened earlier, Harry had decided to skip classes for the rest of the day. It was now around dinner time, and after a few excuses of not feeling well to his friends, he collapsed on his bed, pulling the curtains shut. His logic was that if he just never left his bed that nothing bad could possibly happen. But one shouldn't always listen to one's logic...should one?

"Running out of my class today Harry...naught y naughty...and here I thought I was doing a pretty good job teaching." Surprised at the sudden intrusion, Harry jumped back, hitting his head against the wall in an attempt to escape. He heard a laugh at his expense, and looked up to glare into red eyes.

"Silas you got a lot of fucking explaining to do." Harry watched as the boy sighed, and then felt his stomach lurch when he began to crawl towards him. Harry sat there frozen as Silas practically crawled into his lip, and his eyes widened when he pressed their lips together. Harry tried to pick up his arms to push the invading mouth away, but they suddenly felt like lead. Without really wanting to he began to respond to the kiss. His head was screaming no, and yet his tongue dipped in and out of the burning mouth. When Silas finally pulled away he was feeling more than a little dazed.

"Mmm I love the way you taste Harry..." See now how can you really love something that you've barely experienced. "You have no idea how hard this past week has been...It's been torture trying to resist the urge to touch you." What exactly did that mean? The question was pushed from his mind as Harry found himself panting as the red-eyed boy's hands traveled all over his body. Gone was the freezing touches...When Silas touched him now there was only heat.

"Uh Silas...Oh gods stop...mmm I don't...oh god...I don't want this!" Although he had just made that statement, he felt his body arching to each and every one of the touches. When Silas grazed his lower region he almost cried out in pleasure. Even though he was sure he didn't want this, he whined when the touches stopped and Silas pulled away.

"How could I be so silly...You don't remember the two weeks I had you, of course you would want me to stop." Harry's eyes widened, and he forced his body to back up further against the wall.

"What the fuck are you talking about?...What did you do to me?" Harry watched Silas smile, and felt a chill go through him.

"Oh I assure you Harry...everything I did to you, you begged me for." Harry suddenly felt revolted at himself for responding so eagerly earlier. He made a quick grab for the curtains, but a freezing hand pulled him back. "Going so soon Harry? And here I thought there were some questions you would be dying to ask me." Harry scowled, knowing that the red-eyed boy was right.

"Why can't I remember anything?" Silas scoffed.

"Simple memory charm...I didn't think you even needed to ask that question." Harry scowled, but he knew that getting angry probably wasn't the answer so he continued with his negotiation.

"Why are you pretending to be Snape?" To this Silas's eyes darkened, and at first Harry thought the boy wasn't going to answer, but after several minutes he hissed one word.

"Orders" Harry wanted to ask 'what orders?' or 'why would you get such orders?' but he knew he would get nothing more from Silas on this subject. It was plain he either didn't like the orders, or didn't like getting orders. If Harry was betting, he would bet on the latter. Now was the time to ask the question that had been eating away at him.

"Why did you mark me as yours?...I thought you followed Voldemort." Silas scowled, and Harry gasped as he was suddenly pulled towards him.

"Not yet Harry. You'll learn soon enough." Silas' voice was almost a hiss, and Harry felt a twinge of fear go through him. "Now Harry I didn't exactly come here to talk...I have other needs that I want you to take care of." Harry's eyes widened as their mouths were once again crushed together. Harry tried to push Silas away, but the same warmth spread through him, making all of his limbs completely sedated. As soon as they broke away for air Harry took the opportunity to speak his case, because he had a feeling that if Silas touched him again he'd never be able to.

"Silas wait stop...I can't you know I can't...I don't want to sleep with you." Harry was surprised when Silas smiled.

"Draco was right. You do have a huge ego. I don't want to sleep with you Harry...well at least not yet." Harry didn't have a chance to respond, because his lips were once again claimed. And after some quick situating by Silas, Harry found himself laying between Silas's legs. He looked up at a smiling boy, and glared daggers. "As I said Harry I don't want to sleep with you, but that doesn't mean I don't want to release inside you." Harry began to back away when a cold hand grabbed him again. Harry was not going easy though.

"Listen you can't make me, and I don't want to, and it will be rape so let me go!" Silas slightly frowned.

"You're too stubborn, you know that? It will only be rape if I sleep with you, and since I don't intend on doing that yet, your entire theory's flawed. And if you didn't forget when you gave yourself to me, you gave your whole self to me, and believe me I can make you." Silas reached up, and began stroking Harry's hair. The soothing touch suddenly traveled down his back, and then stopped. "Now Harry I know you have a very good mouth on you, so be a good boy and use it." When Silas' hand grazed the mark on Harry's back the boy's mind went blank, and instead was replaced by something else.

Harry knelt in-between Silas's knees, and began to undo his pants. He heard the red-eyed boy gasp, and felt himself smile at knowing he was causing his master such pleasure. In the back of his mind he heard shouting that he shouldn't be calling this person master, but ignored it, slipping the boy's boxers down past his thighs.

He took Silas into his mouth. Hearing the boy gasp in pleasure, and buck his hips forward causing Harry to deep throat him. Harry happily complied, and now the red-eyed boy was moaning in pleasure. With his tongue he stroked the long vein that ran up the side of the shaft, and heard a definite scream which made him smile again.

"Harry...gods Harry hurry up people will be here in a couple minutes." Hearing the warning Harry quickened his pace, soon feeling Silas's member enlarge, and then blast warm cum down his throat, which he greedily drank before pulling off. Harry saw the smile of bliss on Silas's face, and felt rather proud of himself. He even moaned into Silas' mouth when he was pulled towards him. "Very good Harry...good luck at Quidditch tomorrow pet...until next time." With that Silas was gone, and Harry felt himself getting very tired, and as soon as his head hit the bed he was asleep.
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