FicWad

Chapter 28 In the End it Never Really Mattered




Lucius Malfoy couldn't believe what he was doing. In fact he was so shocked at what he was doing that any minute now his mind would overtake his body and run the other way for cover. Truthfully it really was his the only option left to him, but that didn't mean he had to like it. And what was with all this dust everywhere? You would think someone who gave them self the title of the 'Dark Lord' could afford some house elves. How could anyone live in this filth? He sure as hell couldn't. He could barely tolerate it in fact Lucius was definitely sure that as soon as he was done here he would have someone blast this place into oblivion for ever having the audacity to unknowingly piss him off.

The elder Malfoy shook his head in disgust. He seriously was going insane if he could have such thoughts going through his head. He could only blame that on Narcissa, she could turn anyone insane. With all of her home owling magazines, and her wizard charge cards. It was a fucking zoo all the time at their house, zoo meaning owls with huge packages were always flying in with meaningless items and using up all of his money. Not that it mattered they had so so so so so so much of it. That didn't mean that the constant yapping about all of her new things didn't slowly start to steal his sanity.

She was probably to blame for turning Draco as crazy as he is now. Potter for fuck sakes...He must be taking crazy pills. He would pawn off his son's recent slip in sanity on the fact that he was just acting on Silas's orders, but he couldn't even do that anymore. When they were at Christmas Lucius thought that the only reason Draco was being so affectionate with the Potter brat was because he was trying to get under his skin, which he very much succeeded at. No though, it couldn't just be a small ploy to rebel against your parents, no he had to go and actually fall head over heels for the brat.

Of course he would still like to tell himself that he was being totally irrational over this, and that Draco didn't really feel that way towards Potter, but he had seen the film. That Draco that was in the film was a Draco he had never seen before, that Draco was happy. So happy with the boy-who-lived in fact that he risked his own life to save him...might already be dead in fact.

No, he would be damned if his son went before him. Lucius might have done some fucked up things in his life, but this would not be one of them. He would not be one of those fathers who outlived their sons. He may have failed Draco as a perfect role-model father, but he wouldn't fail him again. The moment he saw that the hospital bed that was supposed to be containing his son was empty a cord inside him snapped, and he knew he couldn't live the way he was living anymore. The only one that can truly understand the mess they've made is the person who made it.

"My my Lucius what have I done to have your presence in my home for the second time tonight?" Lucius bit his lip to keep it from curling up in distaste. The cold hiss echoed through the empty hall, and seemed to blow a freezing wind through his bones. He quickly did a bow, and then returned to a less formal position.

"My Lord I'm sorry if I've intruded, but I have a matter of great importance to discuss with you, and I wanted to do it in private." In light of his statement he quickly looked around to confirm the fact that they were alone. Though this was working well with his plan, it didn't make the plan any easier to stomach. Speaking of his stomach it gave a small growl, he really should have eaten something before he left.

"Oh, so it's to be that kind of meeting." The blond had to bite his tongue to stop from growling back an argument. He couldn't loose his head now, he wasn't nearly finished. "And here I'm usually the one who has to summon you for them." Lucius actually felt like vomiting into his own mouth at that statement. As if he would ever actually ask for those punishments...as if anyone would.

Lucius could still remember the previous time that he had been forced to inhabit Voldemort's bed...it was what actually made him become a spy. Well that and the fact that another one of the dark lord's plans got botched by a 15 year old, oh and it was the only way to get him out of prison. The last time he had to feel Voldemort's sweaty cock slide in-between his slick thighs they had had an audience, the last time Voldemort chose him for a bed partner Draco had been made to watch. That single act alone had made the younger Malfoy loose all complete and utter respect for his father. Truthfully though, Lucius couldn't blame him. He had already lost respect for himself.

With his head bowed low Lucius grimaced, and once again kneeled. "Whatever you wish of me my lord. I am your humble servant." He lowered himself to the ground as far as possible, so far in fact that his forehead was touching the cool tiled floor. "I pledged my life to you and your cause...body and soul." You know sometimes it amazed him how he could spout out so much bullshit without so much as a pause to recollect himself.

There comes a time when you have to do something you really don't want to, and all you can really do at times like these are grit you teeth and bare it. That's why when Voldemort walked over to the blond and with a jerk pulled him up so that their mouths met, the only thing Lucius could do was go with it and hope that sometime in the near future it would stop.

Thankfully after a few seconds of having to taste his wretched breath the cause of all his problems pulled back with a triumphant smirk on his face, as if he had actually gotten one up on Lucius Malfoy. Well Lucius would show him differently, the heavy lump in his pocket from Dumbledore would assure that.

~~ FlAsHbAcK ~~


Lucius stomped angrily through the castle halls, fully intent on seeing its great headmaster and giving him a piece of his mind for losing his son. Seriously it wasn't as if he was a pack of fucking peanuts was it? Isn't this why Narcissa insisted that the little brat went here instead of Durmstrang, because of the safeness factor?

He spoke that ridiculous password to the gargoyle to make it spring aside, and then stepped up the revolving staircase. Honestly swirly twirly gumdrops? Always one for dramatics, Lucius burst his way through the door and into the office to see something quite odd, well more off than normal.

That mudblood girl that had been antagonizing him before was lying on the floor, having some sort of fit or something. Her body was spasming, and Dumbledore was casting spell after spell on her to try to get her body to relax again. The Weasley boy was standing back watching with a look of pure horror on his face, probably the scariest thought going through his head was the fact that he could do nothing but watch.

Though it seemed that he himself was in the same predicament. He was too dumfounded to do anything but just watch as after what seemed an eternity Dumbledore finally got her body to calm down. As soon as the body did calm down however, the girl sprang up from where she was lying and started to rant incoherent things. Do to the pure strangeness of it, Lucius did nothing but stand back and watch.

"Dumbledore I did it! Harry, he went back!" She practically threw her hands up into the air in excitement, but then immediately afterwards drew them back in a wince. "Ow!...Professor why is my body so sore?" Feeling that Lucius would probably get more information about this whole ordeal if he just kept quiet, he instead turned to hear Dumbledore's response. He of course knew why the girl was sore, though why she was having a seizure in the first place was a true mystery to him.

"Well Miss Granger I did warn you about the side affects of you being the one to retrieve Harry. I am glad that you succeeded, but only Draco could have done that unharmed." Lucius's ears pricked up at the mention of his son's name, and although his curiosity was practically killing him he still remained silent.

"I don't care what happened to me. The important thing is that Harry is back in his body, and he can go save Draco!" Alright Lucius was a patient man, but this was too much even for him.

"Girl what are you babbling about? How's Potter going to possibly save my son when he's the one who did it to him in the first place?" Two out of the three occupants of the room seemed generally shocked to see him standing there. Dumbledore of course knew he was there, but then again that man seemed to know everything, so that wasn't entirely surprising.

"What are you doing here? Haven't you caused enough trouble already?" Hermione's voice was shaking in anger, and so for that matter was her small lithe body. Lucius however wasn't intimidated in the least, and walked over to where she was standing so that he was towering over her by at least a foot. He was 6'4 and he always found that a good intimidation skill was using his immense height to threaten the other person. Though it didn't seem to be working in this instance, because Hermione didn't back down in the least.

"Listen mudblood I don't care what you think of me, and I don't care if you think that this is in some bizaar way my fault. All I care about is getting my son back in one piece. Now somebody please enlighten me on what's going on." His voice was cold as ice, but no one in the room seemed to get a chill. No, instead it only seemed to fuel the girl's temper so that she was standing there practically snarling like a rabid dog, though that might have been due to his mudblood comment and not so much his tone of voice.

"Both of you stop this bickering at once." Lucius wasn't one to be easily intimidated, but at the tone of Dumbledore's voice he immediately stopped any retort that was quickly forming on his lips. Truthfully he had never heard Dumbledore speak in such a fierce no nonsense kind of voice before. Don't get him wrong he knew the old man was powerful as hell, but he always thought he was kind of half senile so that power was mostly wasted. "Now whether you want to see it or not we have a very catastrophic situation on our hands."

Lucius's legs of their own volition moved towards one of the chairs in front of the headmaster's desk, and from what he could see everyone else seemed to be doing the same thing. It was an extraordinary sight seeing everyone bend to the will of the old man without so much as an order.

"We have to understand that both boys are in tremendous danger at this moment, not only that but the entire wizarding world also seems to be under siege." Lucius raised one of his finely sculpted eyebrows in question, and Dumbledore raised his right back at him. Although his were anything but finely sculpted, in fact most of them were rather long and sticking out in all different directions. He had the sudden urge to take the tweezers to them, or hell if even pull some of those more ridiculous ones out by hand. They were really distracting.

"How so Albus? Why would this matter affect people outside of it?" It was true that the outcome of this situation would have serious consequences on the people involved, and anybody connected to them, but how would it affect anybody else? It's not as if the deaths, or lack there of, of either Draco or Harry would change the course of history. People would definitely mourn, of that there was no doubt, but he didn't see the world coming to an end over something like that.

"Don't be so asinine Lucius." Lucius was about to jump in and tell Dumbledore how he was definitely not asinine, but a hand stopped his would be cunning quip. "If Silas succeeds with killing Voldemort." Lucius couldn't help but shutter. Dumbledore continued on like he hadn't noticed. "Then do you really think he will stop at that? We will get rid of one dark lord only to have one even more terrible in his place."

A bone chilling silence seemed to follow that statement. A silence that was only accentuated by the fact that Dumbledore said no more in an effort to let his words sink in, and sink in they did. Lucius bowed his head in sad acceptance of the fact that the only thing that was keeping Silas back now was because Voldemort was still alive and kicking. When he was dead who knew what the boy would do.

"That's why this Harry and the blond kid can't fail...It's all up to them...well and I guess us." You know that's why he always hated Weasleys. They always stuck their noses where they didn't belong. Most of the time what they said didn't make any sense anyways. Like that statement, what the hell did that mean? Okay, so it might have to do with the fact that the boy had no memories, but really this was important and it didn't give him an excuse to be retarded.

Lucius noticed though that Dumbledore and the stupid mudblood girl seemed generally interested on what the Weasley was saying. Did he say saying? He meant mumbling incoherently. "What are you talking about Mr. Weasley?" That was a good question, one he was only really half interested in hearing.

Ron scrunched up his nose so that his lips faced sideways. His cheeks also seemed to tint pink at being the sole focus of the room. Lucius noted with amusement on how his eyes kept flickering towards the girl, and each time it would get his skin closer and closer to matching his hair. So the Weasley and the mudblood, how fitting. Lucius did a dramatic role of his eyes, that nobody seemed to see, before once again focusing on Ron.

"Well you see sir I don't really remember anything...well anything except this one thing." Ron didn't get a chance to continue because Hermione, too excited to contain herself, burst in.

"You remember something! That's such great news! I read that patients who have some memories almost always come back for a full recovery." Ron gave a goofy smile, which really seemed to stand out because the two adults in the room were sending her glares varying from disappointment to pure hatred.

"Mudblood will you shut the hell up so he can tell us what he remembers. I doubt it's of any use, but it's in any case better than your babbling." Lucius was greatly reminded of a dragon snorting up smoke and about to breathe fire, the girl looked pissed.

"Yes Miss Granger please let Ron continue. Whatever he remembers it could have great significance to what's happening now." Hermione was still glowering at the older Malfoy. Lucius effectively ignored her, which only made her glare harder.

"Well umm it's odd, I remember talking to well him...but a much younger him." Ron pointed to Lucius, which only made the blond more confident that this was going to be bullshit. He had never talked to this particular Weasley before, and certainly not when he was younger.

"So you talked to Draco, I see go on." Oh. Well at Dumbledore's calm evaluation of what Ron was remembering it made Lucius feel mildly retarded. It was just like riddles, he was never good at them, and when he figured them out it always made him feel stupid that he hadn't figured it out sooner. Then a thought just occurred to him.

"You talked to my son? When? What did you do to him?" Ron's eyes bulged from his head as Lucius jumped down his throat over something so inconceivable.

"Lucius please calm down. Ron will tell us what he knows." Lucius glared at Dumbledore. "And might I ask you not to jump to any irrational conclusions until his story is finished." He begrudgingly settled back into his chair, and in a rather childish act crossed his arms across his chest and sulked.

Ron looked apprehensive about continuing, but with a comforting rub on his arm from Hermione he trudged on. "Well he was talking about that Silas person I think." Ron paused, obviously trying to remember anything he could. "Well he said something about them sharing a heart, and well if a person shares a heart doesn't that mean that neither can live or die for the matter without the other?"

It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, and if you looked around you would see three mouths dropped open in shock. Despite all of the bad things Lucius had said about the Weasley family before, he now felt as if he could kiss that gangly red head. Hermione actually did kiss the red head, and Dumbledore cracked a huge grin and the twinkle in his eyes was so bright it could blind you.

"Why Mr. Weasley, I do think you might have something there." At that even Lucius couldn't help but smile.

~~ EnD oF fLaShBaCk ~~


So a plan had been formed, packages had been exchanged, and now Lucius was standing in the hall getting molested by what had to be one of the foulest creatures ever to grace humanity. He would do his part, but he really had to hope that the boys did their part too, or else everyone was pretty much fucked, and not proper fucked either. Although he wouldn't put it past either of the Riddle boys.

Lucius fingered the cold metal that was weighing down his pocket, and held his breath trying to get his heart to stop racing. He snaked one arm around the slimy bastard that had undoubtly caused problems in countless peoples lives, whether it be from them serving him, people losing a member, or just the constant fear that was caused by Voldemort and his army.

Distracting the dark lord with his small kisses across the scaly neck, he used his other hand to reach into his robe pocket and retrieved the dagger that Dumbledore had given him. With one last kiss he plunged the dagger up through Voldemort's ribcage and into where his heart should be. With any luck it pierced it.

Voldemort screamed out in agony as he fell to the floor. Blood was pouring everywhere, no lack of it covering Lucius himself. The older Malfoy backed as far as he could from the body withering in agony on the floor. The odd part was that he kept screaming for Silas, and then there were the few screams about Lucius's betrayal.

Lucius stared with cold eyes down at the now weak form of the most feared man alive. He stared as Voldemort's breathing became erratic, and as his movements slowed. He watched as the blazing red eyes dulled out. He looked on with no regret as Voldemort drew his last breath and moved no more. He was there observing when it became official...the dark lord was dead once and for all.
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The last couple of hours had gone insanely fast for Harry, and yet he wished that all of this would be over as quickly as possible. He looked from the dagger glimmering in his hand, to the bleeding body kneeling on the floor...both bleeding bodies in fact. Though his eyes only flickered to Silas, they remained much longer on the small blond one. Whatever Harry might have been holding against Draco for the part he had played in the plan was diminished when he saw the state his body was in, showing to the world just what he had gone through for Harry.

Draco was still remarkably being able to maintain his position on his hands and knees, and Harry saw that it was in fact taking a lot. His hands were gripping the old musky rug in fierce determination, and yet his head was still animously shaking no. Harry sighed at that. It's not as if he really wanted to upset him like he was, especially not in his condition, but he had to finish this. He owed it to himself, and in fact everybody, he had to finish this.

Harry decided that in order to finish this he actually had to look away from Draco. Not that he didn't always like looking at him, even when he was all bloody and missing chunks of hair, it was just the sight of him broke his heart and he needed to be strong if he was going to continue with his plan.

Looking at Silas once again he started to shake in both anger and apprehension. Though Silas seemed to see a different meaning behind it. "What's the matter Harry, you scared?" This only furthered to piss Harry off, and he took a few steps forward, knowing full well the implications of what was about to happen. He had never killed anyone before, well not personally, but there were quite a few death eaters who were probably willing to testify otherwise. This though, this he was almost looking forward to.

"Harry please stop! Please, if you ever loved me don't go any farther." Harry froze at the blond's words. He had never heard such desperation in that voice before, and it truthfully terrified him to hear Draco sound so scared. The thing was he really couldn't understand what he was so scared about. Silas was practically dead, wandless, defenseless, and bleeding out all over the shitty carpet. What could possibly go wrong now?

Harry gave Draco a sympathetic look, which was answered with what appeared to be a scowl. He really couldn't tell anymore, Draco seemed to be losing his motor functions, making the muscles in his face rather useless. That was just another reason they had to get this done as quickly as possible. In an hour it wouldn't even matter anymore that he had come to save Draco, by then it would already be too late. Glancing again around the room he saw that Tonks was unconscious on the floor. Her breathing was a bit shallow, but other than that she appeared to be fine. He thought about waking her up, but then again an auror might have a problem with him killing someone in cold blood, so he decided not to take the chance.

"Trust me Draco. I promise everything will be fine." Giving the blond a reassuring smile, he kissed his hand then kicked it with his foot, effectively kicking his hurt lover a kiss. It was lame, but he couldn't really think of anything else to do at the time. Besides it seemed to have the desired affect because Harry thought he saw a trace of a smile on his face, but as he said before you really couldn't tell anymore.

"You really shouldn't make promises that you can't keep. I mean in a few seconds the both of you will be dead and you would have lied to your lover boy over there." Silas gave Harry a sadistic smirk before continuing. "You know what I think I have an ideal death for the both of you. Harry I'll tie you down and make you watch as I fuck the last of the strength out of Draco as he dies cumming on my floor...It's how he would have wanted it after all." Harry clenched his fists and his eyes blazed in furry, Silas didn't seem to notice though for he kept on talking. "Then I'll make you lick up ever last fluid that came out of either of us, and gut you right afterwards to be hung up by your innards...How does that sound Harry?"

That was all that was needed to get Harry to respond. It was, as that muggle saying goes, the straw that broke the camel's back. Harry charged forward with the bloody dagger in hand, fury burning brightly in his emerald irises. He couldn't see or feel anything other than hate, it was an all consuming force that finally drove him to his breaking point. That was also probably why he never saw Silas pull the knife he had kept hidden in his shoe.

The next few seconds went by in such a blur that if you asked him some time later what had happened he still wouldn't be able to tell you all the details. He knew this, he was rushing towards Silas to finish what he had started when he heard a scream come from behind him. The next thing he knew a body was flung in front of him, and Harry and that body flew backwards, crumpling in a disgruntled heap on the floor.

Harry's face was smashed into the floor, but he could still feel a warm wet liquid soaking him from above. His first instinct was that it was Silas laying on top of him, and was just about to sit up and goad over his lifeless body, that it until he heard that wretched human being's laughter from what had to be a few feet away.

He sprang to his feet and saw that Draco was lying on the ground, apparently he was what had fallen on him. The blond was slightly grasping the carpet, and Harry assumed that he had just knocked him out of the way out of fear. Not really knowing who he should go to first, his hero instinct won out and he walked towards Silas. His thinking was that if he didn't have his dagger anymore he could always use a wand, or the more manual way of beating him to death.

As soon as he got a foot away Silas grabbed onto his heart and started screaming out in agony. Harry was so surprised that he jumped back, shutting his eyes just in time as a ray of blinding light shot out of the boy's body. The screaming was deafening and seemed to reverberate off all the walls.

Silas was screaming what appeared to be Voldemort's name, though cursing was more adequate. Harry held an arm over his eyes to dim the light as he walked closer to the screaming boy. Silas caught sight of him, looking positively terrified by what was happening to him. Harry would have felt sorry for him if he didn't hate him so ungodly much.

"It seems you have won yet again Potter." Silas's voice was strained and it seemed he was only barely getting his words out. "But at least I had the pleasure of killing the one thing you love before I went..." Harry was confused by this, but was even more surprised when Silas fell forward. The body that he had once feared so much had now stopped entirely.

On instinct Harry leaned down over the body and felt for a pulse, there was none. Silas was dead once and for all. It was only then that Silas's comment came back to him, and he looked over to where Draco was lying. To his horror he saw a fresh pile of blood pooling out onto the floor.

Jumping into action he immediately kneeled down and pulled the whimpering body into his arms. Wait, was that the body whimpering or was it him himself? Neither would surprise him. There was so much blood, and was all coming from... No! he couldn't believe it, he couldn't accept it...He wouldn't accept it! It wasn't real...It was impossible!

"Draco!" He turned the body over in his arms, blanching at what he saw. Harry's eyes traveled from the blond's ever paling face, to his slowly rising chest, to the knife that was embedded in his stomach...The knife that was meant for him. Harry was fully balling now, rocking the body whose life was quickly depleting. "Draco no...No. No. No. No. NO!" He cradled the fragile head in his hands, noticing immediately how Draco's eyes were trying to locate his own.

A few stray tears dropped onto Draco's own eyes, and Harry watched as those now almost lifeless gray irises found his own. The blond put on a smile, which made Harry cry all the harder. "You can't die...I won't let you die! I WON'T LET YOU DIE! DO YOU HEAR ME!?" Draco's body jerked unsteadily, and Harry shrugged off his robe to place over the wound, attempting to pull out the blade. A pale hand settle over his shaking one that was pulling the offending appendage from his stomach, stopping any actions he might have had.

Harry's heart broke when Draco removed his hand from where it was attempting to help him, and instead entwined it with his own cold almost limp one. He looked into the face that had captivated him in more ways in one since the first day he met the boy in Diagon Alley, feeling his heart constrict. Draco's body jerked again, and Harry noticed a large amount of blood was falling from his mouth. He used the robe that had previously been trying to stop the bleeding to wipe away the coppery liquid from that perfect mouth, all the time wishing that this was just some bad nightmare that he would be waking up from anytime.

"It's over my love..." Draco's voice was choked, and he coughed to try to remove the blood from his lungs and throat. Harry all the while was shaking his head back and forth, refusing to give up so easily, refusing to listen to Draco on what might be true.

"No it's not...I'll wake up Tonks...She'll heal you." Harry grabbed his wand to do just that, but the same pale hand that had stopped him before reached out to do it again. Harry's whole body froze and very slowly he looked back. He was shaking quite bad as he watched Draco's body bob up and down on his lap.

"It's no use love...I'm done for, you know that. I don't want to hurt anymore, and soon I won't...Soon I'll be free once and for all." Draco turned his head to the side to cough this time, missing Harry's continuous attempts of shaking his head no. This wasn't real, Draco couldn't be dying, he couldn't leave him.

"You can't leave me Draco." Harry leaned over to place a small kiss on his lips, smearing the blood over his own mouth. He instantly regretted it, because it sent Draco into a fit of coughs and spasms. "You can't leave me here alone...I'm lost without you, I always have been since the moment I met you...I just didn't know it yet is all...but now I do Draco." He cradled the body all the more closer. "That's why you can't leave me, because without you I'm nothing. You're my everything, my heart, my soul, my life...Please don't leave me on this wretched world alone...I can't live without you."

A small tentative squeeze was felt on the hand that held Draco's, and in return Harry squeezed all the harder. He wiped the blond's mouth off again, noticing that throughout all a small smile still graced those lips. "Harry you have the biggest heart I've ever met, but you can't save everyone love...All this means is that I can't go with you on your next adventure...but they'll be other's my love...you're too cute for there not to be." Draco tried a laugh, but it sent his body into the worst spasms yet.

Harry entwined his one free hand into Draco's hair, and squeezed the blond's hand harder. Trying to transfer through the small touch all he couldn't put into words. "No, they'll be no one but you. I love you so much...There could never be anybody else. That's why you can't die Draco...because I love you too much."

Draco's eyes turned completely gentle, and his mouth widened in happiness. In fact even though he was sitting on his death bed Harry had never seen him look happier. A small hand came up to Harry's face to softly stroke his cheek. Harry, all the while looking into Draco's eyes, was still shaking his head no. The blond opened his mouth to speak, ignoring the fact that it was now almost completely overflowing in blood. "All I ever wanted was you..." Draco gave a small sweet smile, and a lone tear cascaded down his cheek, before the hand fell back down and his beautiful silver eyes became completely lifeless.

The last part of Harry's mind that had been holding together broke at that moment, and everything poured out. He pulled Draco's lifeless body to him so their cheeks were touching and began rocking his lover, all the while wailing out emotions that he knew he couldn't speak in words. Word's were too painful, yet his screams of sorrow seemed to deafen out the pain that was threatening to overtake him.

Harry cradled Draco in his arms as tight as anyone could, as if by holding him that close they could be one, and he wouldn't have really left him. With one hand he closed the blond's eyes so now he looked like he was just resting in a peaceful sleep, though Harry knew different. He leaned in and pressed a hard kiss to Draco's mouth, only letting up when another sob escaped him. "Why'd you have to leave me Draco?...Don't you know, I'm lost without you."
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How long had it been? Days? Weeks? Months? Harry didn't know anymore, in fact time didn't really seem to matter at all. It was only during random intervals that he could even remember what had happened since he was found with Draco. Kingsley Shacklebolt had found him rocking the blond's body, and after reviving Tonks, they dragged him and Draco from the manor.

It took a while to explain the sudden deaths of Draco, Silas, and Voldemort, especially because Harry wasn't talking. They actually had to give him veritaserum to get him to talk about what went on in the room between the three of them. Since then he had been hauled up in his room, refusing company, eating little to nothing, pretty much killing himself with his own misery.

He felt nothing anymore, just the all consuming sadness that seemed to have taken over him ever since the frail blond boy had drawn his last breath. Nothing mattered anymore, and why should it? What did he have left? Draco was gone, and he had fulfilled the prophesy. The prophesy...it was strange that it came true but not in the way Harry thought it would. It was true that by killing Silas he had done his half in killing all of Voldemort, though of course the prophesy never mentioned that...tricky things those prophesies were. It was kind of funny when you thought about it. Not that it really mattered, because Harry was pretty sure that he now lacked the ability to laugh.

Dumbledore had been by the Slytherin dorms yesterday, (Harry had been allowed to stay in Draco's room at his request) and had filled him in on what had been going on while he was away, or rather while refused to go to class...as if he cared anyways. Slytherin had apparently won both the Quidditch and the house cup, which only furthered to upset Harry because it brought up memories he was trying his hardest to keep buried at the moment...Though that wasn't really working out all that well.

He had also informed him that in two days time he would be going back to the Dursley's for two weeks, and then to the Weasley's. Ron...Harry hadn't even spoken to him, god knows what he thought. God knows what anyone thought. Not that it really mattered much anymore though. Harry doubted that they cared if their savor was still sane, all they cared about was that Voldemort was once again gone. Harry resented them for being able to lead such simple lives, more often than not he hated them for it.

A knock was heard at the dormitory door, and Harry nonchantily called whoever it was in. It was no doubt Dumbledore again, trying vainly to convince him that everything was going to okay. As if he understood what he was going through whatsoever, as if any of them did. He was a little shocked to see Hermione standing in the entry way. Oh yeah, he forgot about Hermione. From what he was told she had done a lot to help him. That was probably the only reason he wasn't screaming at her to get out.

She seemed to take his silence as and invitation, because she came and sat next to him on his bed. "How are you holding up Harry?" He looked at her with a blank expression, seriously starting to reconsider his earlier idea about yelling at her to get out.

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?" Harry's voice held no emotion, but Hermione winced anyways. "Don't try to start small talk with me, because I'm really not in the mood. If you have something of importance feel free to tell me, if not get the fuck out because I really don't feel like company right now."

Hermione had a bag attached to her arm, and seemed hesitant to reveal whatever it was she was hiding. Finally it seemed she decided to just get it over with, and pulled out four 8 millimeter films. Harry thought he already knew what they were, but that would be impossible, wouldn't it? After they had made them they placed them in a protective bubble and chucked them out into the middle of the lake to found in 20 years. There was no way she could possibly have them.

"Draco's mother found these when she was cleaning his room...They're tapes of the two of you. I thought you might want them." A found small came to Harry's face when he thought about what this might mean, Draco had made copies of the film for him to keep. Just the thought of it made his eyes begin to water, but he quickly blocked out the treacherous thoughts before he broke down again.

"Thank you Hermione...This really means a lot." Harry let himself be pulled into a hug, but he made no move to respond to it. "Tell me, how's Ron?" A few seconds later Hermione pulled back and had a small smile on her face, obviously she was going to give him good news. It was odd because here Harry was thinking such a thing didn't exist anymore.

"He's doing really well! He's in St. Mugos, but he's recovering really quickly and they think he should have an 1/8 of his memory back by next year." Harry put on a fake smile, but really how could Hermione seem so happy over news that sounded to him so grim?

"That's great Hermione...but I'm really tired and I'd kinda like to be left alone right now." The girl looked disappointed, but refrained from saying anything. Harry was once again pulled into an embrace, before the girl got up and left. Leaving Harry alone with his last remaining memories of him and Draco.

Knowing full well that he shouldn't be doing this, and yet doing it anyway, he went over to the Draco's closet and pulled out his projector, setting it up against the wall. Picking one of the films randomly he plopped it into the projector and started to play the reel. Very much aware that this was probably the worst thing he could do at this point. But it wasn't likely he could any more depressed, now was it?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The camera was focusing in and out as the picture kept going from clear to extremely fuzzy. Harry could see the shore line coming into focus. Though it must have been sometime in winter because the lake was frosted over, and there was snow all over the ground. The odd thing was Harry couldn't remember ever making a film there. They had always filmed there winter moments on the inside.

Harry's heart stopped when Draco walked in front of the camera. The blond was wearing all black and had a wool coat on that went down to his knees. He seemed a bit nervous looking into the camera, but after a few deep breaths he steadied himself enough to talk.

"Hello. My name is Draco Lucius Malfoy, age 16...umm well if anybody's watching this than that means that I finally snuffed it." Harry stared at the screen in horror as Draco gave a nervous laugh at the thought of it. The blond rubbed the back of his head, just standing there in deep concentration, it was obvious that this was very hard for him to do.

"There's something I want to confess to anybody who may be watching...I'm a deceitful bastard." Draco gave another nervous laugh, and seemed to be pacing in place. "Yeah yeah I know probably everybody knew that, but this time was like 100 fold...This time I deceived the person I think I fell in love with."

Harry's eyes started to fill with tears, but did nothing but keep watching the screen. "Voldemort's heir Silas was my first love...though I never really loved him...only thought I did." He put a hand on his chin. "See look here now I'm mumbling...Malfoy's don't mumble." Another laugh could be heard.

"Anyways like I said Silas is a pretty big scum ball, and as such put me on a mission to seduce this one person, and the to turn him to his side...The truth was I fell in love with this certain someone." Draco ran a hand through his hair that was slowly filling up with snow.

"That's right I fell in love with Harry bloody Potter! Can you believe that? Well he is pretty adorable, and sweet, and loyal, not to mention great in bed." Harry smiled, but he still felt his cheeks tint red. "And I'm hear to say that if he ever watches this that I'm sorry...I'm sorry for every ounce of pain I might have caused you. Cuz you don't deserve it, and you don't deserve me...You deserve something so much better than I could ever give you."

Harry was crying hard now, and it looked as if Draco might be about to start. "I was never worthy of you, and that's why in the beginning I never let myself feel...but now...now I can't help it." Draco kicked at the ground so some of the white powder mixed with dirt.

"I hate myself for loving you like this, and I hate myself for hating myself just enough to love you." Draco looked down and wiped at his eyes. "You make people want to be saved Harry. You make them want it even if they're as disgusting as I am." Harry wiped his own eyes. "Don't ever stop what you do Harry...You make people want to be better than they ever thought they could be. You save so many people without even knowing it...don't ever stop."

Draco looked back into the camera and Harry saw that his face was streaked with tears. "Even if you never see this Harry, at least I know I took the time to make it." Draco gave the smirk that Harry missed so much, before blowing a kiss to the camera. "Know that I'll always love you. Even if I die I won't ever stop...Good-bye my love." The camera cut black as the film began to rewind itself.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Harry sat there in stunned silence for what seemed like hours before his brain started working again. Draco knew he was going to die? How could he possibly know that unless he had never planned on betraying Harry to Silas in the first place? Harry felt guilt in his heart over everything he had said to Draco the two times he had visited him when he was on the spiritual plane. None of it was true, and if given the choice he would take every last bit of it back in a heartbeat.

None of that seemed to matter though. Sixth year was over with, and he would be starting his seventh and final year in just a couple of months. He would have to start a new life, it would be what Draco would have wanted. Dwelling on what could have been would only make things worse. It's not as if you could go back in time and change anything, could you?

~The End~