FicWad

Title: Candy Coated Jesus
Author: MakaiKitty
Rating: NC-17
Category: Original Fantasy, "Bloody Hell" series
Pairing: Connor/Dorian
Warnings: Slash, M/M, vampires, religious themes, sex, slight violence/BDSM
Distribution: My website, My LJ and any LJs I choose to post at, AFF.net, and FicWad. All of my accounts are under the user name MakaiKitty. If you'd like to use it just let me know.
Disclaimer: The characters, daemon realms, and situations in this story are all original and belong solely to MakaiKitty. Please don't steal, borrow, take, or otherwise use anything from my fics. Also, I do not have anything to do with CNN or the story that is mentioned in this fic. I just thought it was funny is all. No offense is meant either. This isn't a dig at Christianity (even if Dorian can be a little sacriligious) either, so don't get offended. Please.
Updates: Just join my YahooGroup to be informed of any updates to this or any of my other fics - http://groups.yahoo.com/group/makaikittyfics
Status: Complete

Author's Notes: Well, just in time for Easter, I have a nice little fic full of chocolate, vampires, sex... and Jesus? The sex is easy to explain. Before Christianity "borrowed" this holiday it was a celebration of fertility for those of us who follow the Goddess. How better to celebrate than with a little good old fashioned smexing? The chocolate Jesus part might be a little harder to explain. If you don't watch CNN then you might not have seen the story that Dorian is talking about in this fic, but I swear, it's true. And, I for one thought it was hilarious. More for the way that people were offended than for the content of the actual story. No offense is meant for this story. Promise. Not that this is exactly the story that I'd planned on writing. Dorian and Connor (/especially/ Connor) had plans of their own for this fic and didn't bother to consult me on them until we were well into the story. Not that I mind. It might not be the best thing that I've ever written, but it was fun and I'm pleased for the most part. I hope that you enjoy the fic either way. And, please, remember to review.

Candy Coated Jesus

The laughter coming from the bedroom sounded nearly painful it was so loud and intense. It almost made Connor want to stay in the bathroom and prolong his shower. He wasn't sure what had Dorian howling, but he was almost certain that he didn't want to know.

It was inevitable that the hot water would run out eventually, however, and despite the fact that his blood now ran a little colder than it had when he'd been human Connor was in no hurry indulge himself in a cold shower. He looked into the mirror, as though he could somehow find refuge there, but all the vampire saw was his own pale reflection looking back at him with ice blue eyes that had somehow come to look more alive since his death.

Giving one last forlorn look at the massive garden tub that Dorian had insisted they have installed, the former priest pulled his dark grey towel a little more securely around his trim waist and reached for the door.

"Connor, my darling..." there was a pause, filled with more laughter, "my sweet beloved..." Connor seriously reconsidered his decision to leave the bathroom, "my tainted little angel..." Was that a giggle that had just come from Dorian? "You simply have to see this!"

"What is it, Dorian?" Connor sighed, stepping completely into the bedroom to find the other man kneeling on the bed, his long red hair a cloak around his otherwise nude body, his eyes watering but intent upon the obscenely large television that sat across from their bed. The midnight satin sheets set off the pale perfection of Dorian's form and, under different circumstances, that image alone would have awakened a hunger in the normally repressed Irishman. This time, however, his lover's strange expression only left him confused. He almost looked as though he was in pain, he even clutched his hands to his side as he gasp for air, but at the same time his smile was so wide that his fangs were glinting in the reflections from the television set.

"CNN."

"Of course." And his lover said that he was the one who flirted with madness? "Wolf Blitzer is such a comedian that I can hardly contain myself sometimes."

Dorian pretended to glare at Connor. "Well, someone is certainly a comedian these days."

One dark brow rose in response, arms crossing over an alabaster chest, but that was the only response that Dorian got.

"It's the story that's on CNN that's so hilarious." Dorian tried to explain.

An obsidian brow rose even higher, as if to say, /do tell/.

"Some artist in the States has made himself a full scale, big as life, solid chocolate statue of your beloved Jesus Christ, and he intends to display it in some shop window for the Easter holiday!" Seeing Connor's eyes widen with shock Dorian held up a hand, stilling his mate's reaction until he could get out the best part of his story. Although, when hit by a fresh wave of laughter, Connor wondered if he'd ever hear the whole story. Or if he even wanted to. "And, to top it all off, he's anatomically correct!"

Connor was speechless. He wasn't sure what Dorian's strange news made him feel. The other vampire insisted that he'd developed a healthy, if strange and slightly morbid, sense of humor as of late, but the part of him that had once devoted itself to the Catholic church just couldn't find the story as funny as Dorian did. He wasn't, however, as appalled as he thought that he should be either.

"Do you think that Jesus flavored chocolate tastes better than normal chocolate?"

"Shut up, Dorian."

"Do you think that you'd have to go to confession if you ate a piece of him?" The lewd tone of voice told Connor exactly what piece of the martyr that he'd like to eat. "I mean, if he started to melt-"

"Shut up."

Dorian chose that moment to throw himself back onto the bed, his arms outstretched, his body a twisted parody of the religious figure that they currently spoke of. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been ninety-six years since my last confession."

"You do know that you're not in the least bit funny."

"I used to go to confession all the time, did you know that."

"Not likely."

"No, I'm serious." Dorian insisted. "My sire actually found me at an all boys Catholic school in Wales. My uncle had sent me there to get the devil out of me. Fat lot of good that did. I did learn a thing or two there, however." The red head's smile left no doubt as to what he had learned during his time in the boarding school. "Then my sire came along. He was a real dark beauty. Could have been a fallen angel straight out of Heaven. Or Hell. He was fresh from the Fifth Daemon Realm, and, after one look at me... well, he hasn't left the Human Realm since."

A wave of jealousy hit Connor at those words, and their implications. He knew that, although he had been a virgin when they'd first met, Dorian was a highly sexual being who had surely had more lovers over the centuries than he could count. But they'd never talked about the past before and Connor found that even the bare mention of another man touching Dorian made him unreasonably angry. And oddly aroused at the same time. Dorian had probably looked amazing in the arms of his dark angel.

"Just shut up, Dorian."

"Make me." Dorian challenged.

Connor growled, but otherwise he didn't move. He was being baited, he knew that, but they both knew that in the end Dorian always won. He knew just how to play Connor to make him do what he wanted. Connor simply wanted to try to assert some control this time. Dorian's recent revelations had left him feeling a little confrontational, anyway.

"You know," Dorian teased, raising his hands high above his head and twining his fingers between the slats on the bed's headboard, showing off his lean body to Connor's roaming eyes, "I was an alter boy back at school."

"That's not funny." Connor knew what Dorian was trying to say. He really did love to make jokes at the expense of the church. In fact, sacrilege seemed to be a full time hobby for the fiery vampire. "It wasn't funny the first dozen or so times that you made jokes about the subject either."

"I thought that it was." Dorian somehow managed to shrug with his arms still outstretched above his head. What was more, he made the gesture look graceful despite the odd position of his limbs.

"Don't push me, Dorian."

"Maybe I want to push you." His expression was suddenly cryptic, his golden eyes half lidded but intent upon the other vampire, his smile revealing nothing of his intentions. "I always have liked playing with fire."

That was the last straw, and before Dorian's teasing laughter could make it past his lips Connor was on him, covering the slightly larger man with his towel clad body as their lips met in a harsh kiss. Their mouths meshed together with bruising force, Dorian rising up to meet Connor half way until the dark haired vampire pushed him back into the pillows with a growl and forced his lips to part and allow him access. The kiss was all heat and aggression, teeth clacking and fangs nicking, the blood only fueling the passion that the two men shared. Connor plundered Dorian's mouth ruthlessly, reveling in the fact that his strong willed lover was allowing his domination for the time being, tasting him deeply before pulling back to lick at the blood that dotted his lips and then pressing forward once more to start the whole cycle over again until both of their mouths were swollen and smeared with a mixture of their blood.

"Connor." Dorian panted when he was at last released and allowed to breath. His hands clasped rhythmically at the wooden slats of the headboard that he still held tight to, his body arching off of the bed as Connor attacked his neck in favor of his recently abandoned lips. When fangs broke his skin and a strong pull drew the scalding blood from his veins he all but howled. "Yes!"

Connor felt wild, almost completely out of control, as he ravaged the vampire beneath him. He could feel Dorian pushing up against him, the other man's rapidly filling erection easily evident even with the thick towel that still separated their skin, the flush of his chest almost scalding where it touched him. He drank deeply, not enough to weaken his lover but more than enough to draw the feeling of the man into himself, suckling at the wound voraciously until the skin threatened to heal around his still embedded fangs. Dorian tasted impossibly sweet, more saccharine than any chocolate could ever hope to be, and the flavor alone nearly sent Connor over the edge. It was perfect. He was perfect.

He was lost in the feeling of heat and passion, and the smoldering embers of his earlier anger, as he pulled away to lick up the last remnants of the crimson ambrosia that slid down the length of Dorian's pale neck. His growl had almost turned to a purr, his desire for his lover growing as the other man writhed beneath him while his tongue traced lazy circles on his flesh, until Connor felt Dorian's hands sliding down his body to begin wrapping around the expanse of his back. He knew where the vampire's actions were leading, and just then he didn't feel like allowing himself to be flipped and pinned beneath his lover. He rather liked how things were currently.

"No." The command was low and clear, and punctuated by action when Connor grabbed both of Dorian's slender wrists in his own hands and pinned them back above his head. He pressed Dorian's wrists into the bedding with gentle force, silently telling the vampire to leave them where they were and, looking into his golden eyes, Connor all but dared Dorian to fight him on the matter. "If you want to play with fire then you have to deal with being burnt."

"Do I now?" Dorian questioned, but his body relaxed into the hold even as his eyes held challenge. He rubbed his body enticingly against his lover, noting the hitch of breath that the movement produced, but other than that he allowed himself to be held in place. The harsh brush of Connor's towel against his erection was maddening, the normally soft fabric rasping against his oversensitive flesh in a way that felt more like sandpaper than terrycloth.

Dorian wanted nothing more than to throw his lover off of him and take the vampire with bruising force, to bury himself in his lover's heat and build their passions until Connor cried to the heavens, but at the same time it was intoxicatingly thrilling to feel the strength of the other man all focused on him. It wasn't often that Connor allowed himself to be so free, and Dorian wasn't about to stop him, even if his control was already hanging on by a thread. Centuries of experience or not, Connor had a way of making him lose all control, of lighting a fire within him that he hadn't even known himself capable of before he'd first seen the beautiful priest. As a result, there seemed to never be a time that he didn't want the other man. He'd been ready even before the dark haired vampire had left the shower, and only the distraction of the unusual CNN news flash had kept him from jumping his mate the moment he'd entered the bedroom. The look in Connor's pale eyes told him, however, that his patience would be well rewarded.

Connor went back to biting and nibbling Dorian's satiny flesh, leaving the older vampire with no time for thought, and he was soon thrashing in ecstasy as Connor made his way down his body and took to tormenting his sensitive nipples with singleminded determination. Connor plucked at the tiny nubs of flesh, first with lips and then with teeth, loving the way that his bites made Dorian groan and even whimper. It wasn't a sound that he was used to hearing from the other man. When he bit down more harshly on one rosy hued nipple, leaving marks and nearly drawing blood, Connor had to smile. Dorian's whole body had nearly come off of the bed, his breath nothing more than a ragged pant, and Connor was left feeling rather smug with himself as he proceeded to tug at the abused flesh while still holding Dorian's wrists with the other. It seemed that his lover was just full of surprises this night.

"And you've claimed all along that I'm the slut in this relationship?" His voice was slightly muffled as Connor spoke against Dorian's chest, licking playfully at his lover's navel while making his way further down the man's tightly strung body. He flicked his tongue in once, twice, then a third time before grazing his fangs sharply across the rise of one slightly bony hip. "I think that you owe me a bit of an apology."

"Never said I wasn't a whore for this sort of stuff," Dorian laughed breathlessly. "Besides, you should take my response as a complement. Feel honored that I'm letting you see me fall apart like this."

"Honored?" Connor snorted, used to Dorian's conceit after more than a year at his side. "Your singleminded self-centeredness never ceases to amaze me, vampire. I think it deserves punishing."

Dorian was about to snap out a playful retort that would most likely confirm Connor's accusation, but he was rendered speechless when he was suddenly grabbed around the waist and flipped over onto his belly with the lightening speed of a vampire on a mission, his hands quickly returned to their place above his head and pinned back down by his lover. He could feel Connor's weight across the line of his body, the hard length of him pressing into the divide of Dorian's ass, his towel discarded in the flurry of movement. Dorian was shocked, to say the least. Connor was usually almost timid with their lovemaking and, although he had recently become more comfortable with his lover's advances, he always left Dorian to make the first move. This was completely out of character.

Dorian wondered briefly if he had pushed the former priest too far with his sacrilegious comments about the chocolate sculpture, or if he needed to watch his tongue in the future, but then a harsh slap to his exposed rear had him whipping his head around in a flurry of ruby silk to stare open-mouthed at his smirking lover.

"Pay attention to me when I'm trying to punish you."

"You spanked me!"

"Punishment, remember?" To prove his point Connor pulled his hand back with exaggerated slowness and brought his hand down on the firm globes of Dorian's ass once again.

Dorian wasn't the only one wondering what had gotten into Connor, but as he watched his lover squirm under his hand, moving to strike him once again, Connor didn't really care. He almost felt drunk on the control he was being afforded. Connor wondered briefly if Dorian had been drinking, if his blood really had intoxicated him, although the answer didn't really matter when he struck his lover's upper thighs and got a choked moan in response.

The enticing sounds that his lover was making weren't the only signs that told Connor that he was doing something right. Mixed in with the scent of sweat and blood, both heavy in the air, was the heady smell of arousal. Dorian's pleasure became a near palpable thing as it filled Connor's senses, driving him on, fueling his own desire as his hand rose and fell across Dorian's rapidly reddening flesh. Musk and sex mingled in the air, driving Connor on, bringing a feral grin to his lips as he continued to push his lover closer and closer to the edge of oblivion.

The punishment continued until Dorian's butt and thighs were heated and red, his body covered in sweat, his breath coming in short gasps, his hands still held firm above his head. His cock was throbbing painfully beneath him, and as he rode out each blow to his body Dorian thrust himself against the smooth sheets beneath him, loving the way that the sheets tormented him without actually providing any true relief. It was beautiful torture. He hadn't known that Connor had it in him to follow through with the game that he'd started, but the vampire was more than happy that he had.

When the spanking ended Dorian was left feeling slightly light headed, sore in a most rewarding way from both his struggling and from being struck, so he didn't notice at first that he was being moved. Connor momentarily released his hands, although Dorian didn't even consider moving them, and placed a hand on each of his hips to draw his lower body up until Dorian rested on his knees with his ass in the air and his face still pressed into the satin covered pillows. He could hear his lover rummaging around in the night stand while he floated in a pleasant haze created by exertion and passion, fighting in vain to catch his breath, but it didn't register to him what was going to happen next until a heated slickness was suddenly pressed purposefully against his entrance.

Connor and Dorian both moaned as the younger vampire quickly sheathed himself within his lover's depths. As soon as he had breached him Connor snapped his hips forward so that he was flush against Dorian's recently abused skin, grinding with circular motions until he was certain that Dorian could feel every inch of him, one hand moving to the vampire's hip to still any movement and the other going forward to hold his wrists in place once again.

Dorian hissed as Connor's change in position brought most of his weight down on the still smarting flesh, but Connor only nipped at his shoulder and reminded him, "Aren't you the one always saying, /you're a vampire, you can handle it/?"

Dorian didn't answer, although his smirk would have told the other all that he needed to know. Instead, he pushed his hips back as best he could considering his restrained position and let his body speak for him.

After that it was a wordless meeting of flesh on flesh, Connor's body pounding into Dorian with preternatural strength, his hand gripping so hard on the red head's hip that it was sure to leave an imprint of his hand even with a vampire's resiliency. Never once did Connor release Dorian's hands, but even restrained the other man gave as good as he got, and soon the bed was shuddering dangerously with the force of their coupling. It was harsh, and wild, and completely unrestrained. And it left both men with smiles that stretched from one side of their faces to the other as they both came with matching screams of completion.

Then all was silent.

It took Connor a long moment to find the strength to move off of his lover, releasing his wrists at long last and falling to the side in a boneless heap. Dorian winced slightly when Connor withdrew from his body before he too fell face first into the bedding, his smile never leaving his full lips. He would have laughed with amazement, more that a little shocked by what had just happened, but he just didn't have the strength.

They lay, unspeaking, for a long while. Connor was more than a little shocked with himself, and although he was certain that Dorian had enjoyed the unusually rough treatment, he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it. It had been strange to be in control of the older vampire. It wasn't something that he had ever expected of himself. Then again, Dorian did seem to bring out the most unexpected reactions in him. The fact that he was lying at the vampire's side and not six feet under after his attempted suicide was evidence of that fact.

Connor didn't have the nerve to whisper his next question into the dimly lit confines of the room until he thought for sure that Dorian was asleep. He wasn't, however, surprised when he received a response anyway. "Why did you let me do that to you?"

"I would have thought that would be obvious by now. I love you." Then, as expected of the centuries old vampire, "Besides, it was fun. Now go to sleep and I might let you do it to me again sometime."

/I love you/? Dorian always said it so easily, although with seeming sincerity, and it never ceased to unnerve his lover. Connor wasn't sure if he believed Dorian's professions of love. Or if he would ever be able to say those three simple words back to him. He wasn't sure that he knew what love was. He certainly hadn't before meeting Dorian. Did he now? He didn't know, but he did feel strangely contented, his soul quieted, when he was at Dorian's side. For the time being, perhaps that was enough. With that thought in mind Connor rolled towards the man who rested beside him, a pleased smile finding him when Dorian's arms opened to embrace him without the other man even opening his golden eyes. Yes, this was definitely enough for now.

"Remind me to buy you a chocolate rabbit tomorrow."

The End