Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Heritage

Chapter 22

by wimvincken

This is a real harem story. Not the ones you can find everywhere about a bunch of kids having a go with Harry and Harry with them, but an official harem like the old Sultans from Turkey ages ago wi...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: NC-17 - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Bellatrix, Blaise Zabini, Cho, Draco, Dumbledore, Fleur, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Molly Weasley, Moody, Narcissa, Padma, Pansy, Parvati, Professor McGonagall, Tom Riddle, Tonks, Umbridge, Voldemort - Warnings: [?] [X] [Y] - Published: 2007-04-18 - Updated: 2007-04-19 - 4935 words

?Blocked
Chapter 22

A/N: Editor: The Resident
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Breakfast in the dining hall was awkward for Harry. Harry sat again on his place at the head of the dining table staring at his plate full with food. When he entered the dining hall, he was hungry and thirsty, and he took the first chair he saw, until he was stopped by the bloody house elf Gidi. She insisted that this was not the place for the Master, and that he needed to move to his rightful place at the head of the table.

Harry planned not to listen to the ruddy elf, ignored her and wanted to sit down. At the last moment, the chair was vanished from under his arse, and the elf insisted that he must sit on his rightful place at the table.

A mumbling Harry moved his sorry arse to his place and sat down. He heard the girls giggling and laughing, and that did not improve his mood. When he sat down, and was busy to dump all the eggs he could find on his place, he heard Pansy snorting.

"So, our stud has a bigger thingy between his legs?" Pansy said smirking, looking at him, while measuring him up. He heard her loud and clearly, and caught her smirking expression. Her stupid remark caught the attention of every single girl on the table and the whole bunch started to giggle and chat.

Ginny was glowing and flustered, while whispering vigorously to everyone who wanted to listen. Harry felt a pang of irritation because of the childish behavior of the girl. She was fifteen years old, for Merlin's sake.

Ginny sat next to Hermione, who was also looking flustered, but she said not a word. She looked to be in a daze, and was smiling at her plate with food. She did not seem to eat, though... only staring at it. It looked like Hermione felt that someone was looking intently at her... she looked up cautiously and caught Harry looking at her. She blushed and quickly started to eat.

His appetite went down immediately and from that moment he was playing with his food. Sebena, who sat on his right, was smiling wickedly.

"You know, Lord-Baron, I have heard great things about your accomplishments, last night," Sebena said.

Harry looked up from his food and stared at her.

"No," replied a laughing Sebena with her hands up. "I didn't do a thing! It was you that did all the action." She laughed again. "You made several girls very happy, and I think that you have more work to do this night!" She looked around the table at the giggling and gossiping girls and she smiled again, this time a pleasant smile. "I think you did the right thing. Look at them! They do not react depressed, they are all acting quite happy and I think that is worth your efforts, wouldn't you say?"

Harry could not help himself and smiled weakly at her.

"Yeah... right," he said, staring listlessly at his overloaded plate.

A sound of flapping of wings and yelling house elves brought him out of his stupor. Harry looked up, and saw his Hedwig flying crisscross toward him with a letter bound on her talons, followed closely by three house elves, pointing their fingers at Hedwig. Harry saw the trails of spells following Hedwig, but she managed to dodge them by changing her path at the last moment. Harry stood up from his place at the dining table, held up a hand and the elves stopped immediately. A clearly relieved Hedwig flew to Harry and landed on his outstretched hand.

Harry felt a wave of pleasure streaming through his body. He did not realize he missed his girl so much. Hedwig was probably the same, because she rubbed her feathery head against his hand, all the while making pleased sounds. Harry pulled Hedwig close to him and he sat down.

"Are those elves giving you a hard time, my girl?" Harry said to the owl. Hedwig nibbled his hand and glared at the approaching house elves. Harry laughed. He understood what happened. Hedwig had a parchment for him, but the elves did not know that Hedwig was his.

He turned to the elves. He did not recognize any of the elves... he assumed those were one of the many hidden elves working in the castle.

"This is Hedwig," he said, lifted his hand so that the elves could see her. "She is my owl, and she will have the full freedom to do what she wants. If she wants to fly to me, I don't want anyone to stop her."

The elves stopped, looked wide-eyed to the owl, then to Harry and bowed.

"Yes, Master," the biggest elf said and they all popped away. Harry smiled at his Hedwig.

"Let's see what you have for me, Hedwig. He unbound the parchment and recognized the handwriting... it was the reply from Remus! He turned to Hedwig.

"Are you hungry, my girl?" he said. Hedwig turned her head several times in the direction of the table, and Harry put her down carefully near his plate. Hedwig immediately started to eat his bacon.

Dear Harry,

I was pleased with your message and I'd love to visit your place. Gryffindor Castle is a place not many people have visited, and I personally have never been there. I'd really love to accept your invitation, thank you.

I want to let you know that we collected your possessions from Privet Drive. I have your personal stuff, and sent Hedwig to you with my note. Maybe it will interest you to know that we were forced to hex your uncle, because the man was screaming like a banshee when we entered his house. Then he became dangerously purple in his face when we entered the house. He didn't want to open the door! Moody was forced to stun him.

But we will see each other sooner than tonight. Today I wiil be at the Wizengamot and I understand that you make your appearance at the Wizengamot as well. Look for me in the visitor stands. Maybe we can have some words then.

I have some amusing news for you as well. What you did with Bulstrode was masterfully done. I never in my life laughed so hard when I heard the news. I remember Millicent Bulstrode very 'fondly'; because she and Draco Malfoy were the worst students I ever had seen. Anyhow, when Dumbledore and Baron Bulstrode negotiated, the Baron managed to force Dumbledore into accepting a special clause, which forces Dumbledore to produce a male heir for the Bulstrode family, because Millicent Bulstrode is the only child, and a daughter to boot. Isn't that funny? The old man must work at his old age; otherwise he pays the consequences. Ha!

Talking about Dumbledore, he came marching in to Grimmauld Place yesterday evening, and Merlin, he got a naughty surprise. Dumbledore insisted on having an Order meeting and Moody was holding him at wand point to get him out of the place. I never saw Dumbledore so angry before; smoke came out of his nose and ears.

On a more serious note, Harry, I know that you have received your heritage from the Evans family, but I don't think that you have all the facts. When we meet tonight at your castle, we must have a serious talk.

I will see youlater today,

Yours,

Remus Lupin"

Harry smiled and wondered briefly what news about the Evans family would be so important. He looked fondly at Hedwig and joined her finishing his eggs... the bacon was already finished.

"My aunt wants to speak with you Harry!" Susan yelled over the table. "When you arrive at the Wizengamot today, you need to find her. She has some things she wants to speak about before the session at the Wizengamot starts." She waved a parchment in his direction.

Harry smiled at her and nodded.

Hedwig waggled over the table and nipped the pumpkin juice. She seemed very content at the moment and walked to his hand, clawing her way toward his shoulder, where she started to rearrange her beautiful feathers.

"What do you think, Hedwig? You are a girl; do you want me to marry you as well?" Harry said with a warm smile. Hedwig looked up disturbed and glared at him.

Gidi plopped in existence next to his chair.

"Master, you have a visitor," she squealed.

Good morning, Gidi. Did you meet my first girl, Hedwig already?" Harry said fondly.

The little house elf looked confused at the owl, then to Harry.

"Hedwig?" she asked hesitatingly.

"Yes, my first girl," Harry said with a smile.

"No Master... I did not meet her yet."

"Hedwig, this is Gidi. Gidi, meet Hedwig," Harry said.

Gidi did not know what to say and fidgeted in front of Harry.

"Is it Master Hiphook, Gidi?" Harry asked.

"Yes, Master."

"Good, send him in. At last, another male in the room," he said, smirking at the girls.

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Hogwarts was as imposing as ever to Harry. It was his home for a long time, even when he was living in a new castle. The Gryffindor castle was amazing, beautiful and straight out of a fairy tale, but Hogwarts was... Hogwarts. There were no words which could describe the magic of the place, the feelings everyone got when the castle appeared in front of the eyes. Unlike the Gryffindor castle, Hogwarts was build almost entirely from and by magic. The founders did not enhance a castle, but they built it from scratch. When you, as a lonely soul, walk through Hogwarts, you have the impression of something special in the air, something which you can't place your fingers on... something magical.

The corridors of the castle still carried a medieval atmosphere of many hundreds of years; when strolling through them... the smells, the sounds, the soft echoes of water dipping down, the movements of rats hurry through the corridors.

Harry, the Goblin King Albano, Master Pipette, Master Hiphook, Nasar, hundred Goblinettas, Susan, Hannah, Hermione, Luna, Su Li, Pansy, Blaise, Sebena and Daphne arrived in the Great Hall of Hogwarts via Portkeys. At the moment they arrived, the Goblinettas spread throughout the Great Hall, not to the pleasure of Minerva McGonagall, who was looking at them wearily.

"Professor McGonagall," said Harry warmly. "How are you today?"

"Well, Lord-Baron," she said frosty. "I am well, but why did you bring so many people and Goblins with you here to Hogwarts?"

"We need to enter the Chamber of Secrets, Professor. The Goblins lost something, and I'm here to retrieve it." Harry looked to the company. "Let's go, I don't want to lose any time." Harry waved, nodded to Minerva McGonagall and left the Great Hall, followed by the rest of the company. The large procession walked toward the bathroom on the second floor, followed by a sniffing Professor McGonagall and a very happy Professor Flitwick.

"What is the Chamber of Secrets actually?" asked King Albano.

Hermione's eyes lit up and started in her professor mode.

"The Chamber of Secrets was built by Salazar Slytherin, one of the four founders of the school. The Chamber of Secrets was guarded by a great serpent, which is able to understand Parseltongue. In order to enter the Chamber of Secrets, the person opening it must be able to speak Parseltongue. The reason why Salazar Slytherin built the room with the great serpent was because he wanted to kill all those in Hogwarts who were not pureblood.

"According the legend, Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor fought with each other to allow muggle-born students at Hogwarts. Salazar Slytherin lost the fight and left Hogwarts; muggle-born students were allowed, and the Chamber of Secrets was built. Over the thousand years that Hogwarts has existed, many great wizards and witches looked for the Chamber of Secrets, but nobody ever found it. The reason why nobody could find the Chamber of Secrets was because in order to open the entrance to the Chamber, the person needed to speak Parseltongue.

"Tom Riddle was able to speak Parseltongue, and he found the entrance and opened the Chamber. He released the giant snake and killed a muggle-born student with the name Myrtle. She was a student at Hogwarts in 1943, when she was killed by the Basilisk. She had been hiding in the girls' toilet on the second floor because she had been teased by a student with the name of Olive Hornby. That toilet also hides the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets.

"Myrtle died, and she returned as ghost at Hogwarts. She has been called Moaning Myrtle since then, because she regrets her death and acts like she is depressed or something like that."

She looked briefly at the smiling Harry.

"Anyhow," she said, "Tom Riddle wanted to kill all muggle-born students at Hogwarts, and released the Basilisk. After the Basilisk killed Myrtle, the headmaster of Hogwarts, Armando Dippet, wanted to close the school. That was not acceptable to Riddle, because he would be forced to return to the Muggle orphanage. Riddle managed to frame Hagrid for the crime of opening the Chamber. Hagrid was expelled from Hogwarts and the school stayed open."

"How is it possible that the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is in the bathroom?" asked King Albano.

Hermione looked thoughtfully. "I know what you mean, your Majesty. "Bathrooms like the one on the second floor were constructed and built only several years before the Chamber of Secrets was discovered by Riddle. The only thing I can think about is that Hogwarts probably was created looking different then it looks now. The Chamber, the staircases which lead to different locations in Hogwarts, probably adjusted itself to the entrances to fit the form of the magical castle to which it connects."

Meanwhile, the company had reached the gloomy bathroom of Moaning Myrtle. Harry opened the door and looked into the bathroom. The wooden cubicles were worn and tattered, shabby and upheld with many chipped and dirty stone sinks under a large cracked and spotted mirror. No Moaning Myrtle, good. He entered and walked immediately to the dirty looking sink with a particular tap with a tiny snake scratched on the side. Harry kneeled in front of the tap.

"I thought that this bathroom is out of order," King Albano asked surprised, when he was looking at the dirty bathroom.

"Yes, it is out of order, because the bathroom is being haunted by Moaning Myrtle," answered Hermione.

King Albano frowned, but said nothing.

"What is more at this floor?" asked Hiphook.

"Ah, we have the entrance to the Headmaster office. That entrance is in an empty corridor guarded by stone gargoyles. Let's see, we have also the Defence Against Dark Arts professor's office with the suits of armour. "Susan looked thoughtfully for a moment. "That's it, I think. The rest are classrooms."

"Ssssss hhssssssssstt sss chchchhcchc sssss," Harry hissed.

For one moment, nothing seemed to happen, and suddenly everyone heard a vague sound of moving stones. The sink and the wall behind it started to move away and behind the sink was an opening visible. The opening was the entrance to a pipe, which led into the darkness.

"What is the Lord-Baron doing?" asked a stunned Nasar.

"He speaks Parseltongue," whispered Hermione immediately. "Parseltongue is the language of snakes, and it can't be spoken by any other creature then only snakes and certain humans like Harry and Voldemort. The ability to speak Parseltongue is extremely rare. Salazar Slytherin was the one who was able to speak and he was associated with dark wizards. Tom Riddle inherited this ability from Slytherin, because he is the Heir of Slytherin. Harry acquired the ability to speak Parseltongue from Voldemort during Voldemort's attack when he was one year old."

"Are Tom Riddle and the Lord-Baron the only ones, who could speak Parseltongue?" asked Hiphook.

"No, only seven persons known in history could speak Parseltongue," said Hermione thoughtfully. "They were Herpo the Foul, Marvolo Gaunt, Morfin Gaunt, Merope Gaunt Riddle, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Salazar Slytherin and Harry."

Harry looked irritated at Hermione. "This is the entrance, which leads to the Chamber of Secrets," Harry said to the company. "I will go first, which will bring me to the underground passage."

"Is the passage deep under the castle, Lord-Baron?" asked King Albano.

"The passage is not under the castle, your majesty. It is under the lake," Harry answered the King.

He turned, climbed into the pipe, and let himself slide down. The ride down was fast, smelly and dirty. Harry felt that traces of dirt, dust and slime were covering him while he travelled down to the passage under the lake, until suddenly all resistance was gone, and he fell... on the ground, littered with bones of small animals.

Harry pulled him self up against the wall.

"Lumos"

Harry could see a large passage leading - what he assumed - back into the castle, to the Chamber of Secrets. The air was moist and heavy, and the bones of the small animals were everywhere. He heard the sound of small animals somewhere in a corner, but no traces of any other light and no other sounds. It was kind of scary quiet here, and Harry shifted his posture several times. Suddenly the stillness was disturbed by the noise of sliding, and a heavy body fell next to him on the ground. Harry cast a cushioning charm on the ground, so the next one would fall softer.

The next forty minutes were filled with arriving people and Goblins, and Harry was looking more closely at the walls and other entrances of the passage. He found three other entrances to unknown destinies. Harry would really like to explore a bit, but he knew that they had not the time. When everyone had arrived at last, he walked toward the passage leading to the Chamber of Secrets.

They arrived at a wider part of the passage, where the shed Basilisk skin was laying on the floor between the many animal bones. Everyone gasped and looked shell shocked at the skin.

"Is that the Basilisk?" asked Hermione with a small voice.

"No, it is only its skin," Harry answered. "The Basilisk is in the Chamber it self," he said grimly.

Hermione released her breath.

"Now I understand why Ginny did not want to go with us. This is terrible!" Hermione exclaimed apprehensively... staring scared at the shed skin. "That's a monster! How is it that it can become to large and how it survived almost thousand years?"

Harry shrugged, and said nothing.

"Is the Basilisk not the largest snake?" asked Susan.

"A Basilisk is created by Dark Wizards from Cobras. Cobras were portrayed by the Egyptians as a serpent with a crown or a white spot on its head, almost like a Basilisk. A Basilisk can become eighteen to twenty meters long with enormous power and is extremely poisonous. The colour of the Basilisk is brilliant green with long thin fangs and curved yellow eyes. The male has a scarlet plume on its head, the females do not. It is born from a chicken's egg, hatched beneath a toad. The way how the Basilisk kills is by poison with its deadly and poisonous fangs and its murderous stare.

"The only way how to kill a Basilisk is by the crowing of the rooster. The only creature, which is immune against the deathly stare, is the phoenix."

They climbed their way through the caved in passage, where Harry was grinning, but he said nothing. They continued to walk until they were stopped by huge entrance doors.

In the dim light, everyone could see that the doors were made from yellowish metal. The doors were carved with scenes of snakes and vague outlines of humans. The doors were sixty meters wide and thirty meters high... they were huge. Harry walked alone toward the doors, and the carvings were clearer; he could see the outlines of several wizards, who seemed to hunt or follow a huge snake. Harry assumed that that snake was his Basilisk, because the colour of the Basilisk on the door was somewhat greenish. He looked at different scene, where he could see the snake eating wizards or witches.

"Ssssss hhssssssssstt sss chchchhcchc sssss" Harry hissed.

Behind him he could hear everyone grasping, and he sighed.

The entrance doors opened slowly in high-pitched grating, and he could see a huge room behind the half opened doors, with snake-entwined pillars on both sides. Harry knew that at the end of the Chamber was the huge statue of Salazar Slytherin, but, with the bad light they had currently, it was not visible yet. He saw the shadows of the Basilisk on the floor between the pillars; the Basilisk must lie before that statue, Harry remembered. The room itself was about two hundred meters long and eighty meters wide.

Suddenly lights came alive at the far sides of the walls, and he heard the company behind him gasping in alarm. Harry shrugged himself out of the stupor and he entered the Chamber of Secrets. He remembered that the lights came alive when someone opened the doors. He looked engrossed at the statue of Salazar Slytherin at the far end of the room. The statue seemed to be made of the same material as the doors, and also shining faintly yellowish. Was it gold? Harry shrugged again.

"Is that Salazar Slytherin?" he heard Hermione asking.

"He looks like a monkey," muttered Hannah behind him. Susan was laughing.

"That is Salazar Slytherin," said Harry, pointing to the statue. "And there is the Basilisk."

Everyone stared to the huge snake in awe. The hundred Goblinettas spread all over the large hall; several Goblinettas pulled their swords and approached the snake. But the snake did not move, because it was dead, Harry hoped.

Hermione, Susan and Hannah were slowly approaching the Basilisk, studying it in detail.

"That monster is at least twenty five meters long!" exclaimed Hermione. "It is much larger than it supposed to be!"

Nobody said a word, and the Goblinettas were in position securing the hall. King Albano was looking wearily at the statue of Slytherin.

"What shall we do now?" he asked.

"I suggest that you use the Goblinettas to search for the necklace," Harry said. "I think that one of the many pipes here in the Chamber of Secrets leads to all kind of locations throughout Hogwarts."

The King nodded approvable and made a gesture with his hands throughout the hall.

"Spread and search," he said. The Goblinettas abandoned their positions and started to spread out.

"Did you kill this Basilisk, Harry?" asked an unbelieving Hannah.

"Yes, with the help of Fawkes, the Sword of Gryffindor and a lot of luck, I killed the Basilisk," Harry said.

"Where did the Basilisk hide?" asked Susan in awe.

"In the mouth of Slytherin," Harry said, pointing to the Slytherin statue. "In the head of the Slytherin statue is a big opening, where the Basilisk was hiding when I entered the Chamber of Secrets. I have no idea how the Basilisk could reach the head, because there is no visible entrance. I assume that there are many secret and hidden corridors and entrances everywhere. "

Nobody said anything for a while; they were all looking to the statue, the snake or to the searching Goblinettas.

"It misses one of its fangs," said the small Professor Flitwick. "How is that?"

"That fang was embedded in my arm," Harry answered with a flat voice. "I pulled it out, and Fawkes healed me with his tears."

Before anyone could react on Harry's statement, one of the Goblinettas yelled, and held out something small. The Goblinetta strutted toward King Albano, bowed and handed him a small package. King Albano looked at it carefully, and opened it.

"That's it!" he exclaimed happily. "We have the necklace back!"

All Goblins in the Chamber of Secrets were yelling something in their own language, until King Albano held up his hand... everyone was silent instantly.

"Lord-Baron," he began, bowing to Harry. "We are in debt with you. Thanks to you, we have the last piece of jewellery back, which is of great importance to the Goblin nation. We would like to offer you something of great importance..."

Harry wanted to tell the King that he did not want to have anything, but at the last moment he held him self in check. What would happen when he would refuse the King, and the King would see that as an insult? He knew how vicious the Goblins are, and he truly did not want to have the Goblins as enemy.

"In the Goblin Nation, important Goblins have many wives. The more important the Goblin is, the more wives he has. Slaves are something that is necessary, but not an indication of importance. You can't help it if you get slaves because of a mistake by a person, no?

"In the Goblin nation, the most honourable person is a warrior who is pensioned. Such person showed the nation that he has the ability to survive and he served the nation by offering his life and has the ability to survive.

"We believe that in the human society, an honourable human is somebody, who proved to all the world that he is a fighter, a person who is rich or became rich, and a person who has a lot of wives and properties."

The King looked briefly at the Basilisk and he continued.

"Here is proof that you are a fighter, Lord-Baron. Here is the slain Basilisk, the King of Snakes, the most powerful animal all times, more powerful then a dragon in many ways.

"Master Hiphook made us attend on the fact that you speak Parseltongue, which is a sign of Slytherin. Only the descendants of Slytherin are able to speak this ancient language, and you speak the language."

He paused, and Harry was confused. What the hell was the King talking about?

"In the year 1050, Zachary Potter and Winifred Slytherin were married. They had six children. Their oldest son, Galvin Potter is your direct ancestor.

"You are not the direct descendent of the Slytherin line, that is Tom Riddle, but you are the second in line, because of the marriage between Zachary Potter and Winifred Slytherin.

"When Master Hiphook told us about your ability to speak Parseltongue, we started to reinvestigate the Slytherin heritage, which is still not claimed. According our information, a Tom Riddle is the most direct descendent of the Slytherin line, and we sent him several times an invitation to claim the heritage. He never had replied.

"When we applied the heritage magic, we discovered that the direct descendent of the Slytherin line was not alive anymore. We investigated this more in detail, and we suspect that Tom Riddle is or dead or he used dark rituals for what ever reason. The direct heir to the Slytherin line is gone.

"Because there is no direct Heir anymore for the Slytherin line, you are the Heir of Slytherin. Isn't that great, Lord-Baron?" King Albano asked cheerfully.

Harry swallowed... after all those heritages he did not care anymore. He knew that he would get a load of slaves and women again. He hoped this was the last one.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Harry said calmly.

The King waved his hands and easy chairs appeared. The King sat down on his mini-throne, the rest followed. Everyone collected themselves around the Goblin and man... nobody said anything. King Albano held out his hand, and Hiphook gave him a thick file.

"I, King Albano, ruler of the Goblin Nation, open the Gringotts bank file, number 323A.87.11."

The King studied the now-open file and frowned.

"There are a total of twenty-one points in this file. I will summarize for you, Lord-Baron. You become head of the Slytherin family, you become owner of Hogwarts for an additional twenty-five percent, you take one seat in the Wizengamot, and there are twelve family binding contracts, three Arranged Marriages, control of investments in the magical world and finally, you take control of the vaults five, five-A, five-E, five-F and five-G. That's it, Lord-Baron Potter-Black-Gryffindor-Bones-Malfoy-Slytherin," the King said with a grin.

Harry swallowed again.

"Can you tell me with whom those arranged marriages are, Your Majesty?" asked Harry with a composed voice.

"Of course, Lord-Baron, they are with the last female of the family Pince, last female of the family Vane and the last female of the family McGonagall, the King smirked.

Harry's eyebrows went up. "Excuse me?" he asked flabbergasted. For sure he did not hear that correctly. And there were, for sure, many McGonagall's in the world, no?

The King laughed aloud. "Lord-Baron, the last female of the family Pince is Rolanda Hooch, who works here in the castle as flying instructor."

The King looked expectantly at Harry, who had problems with breathing... his mouth was open, but he truly had problems with breathing in the air.

The King continued happily, looking very expectant.

"The last female of the family McGonagall is Minerva McGonagall, who works here in the castle as well, but as Professor," finished the King happily.

Harry's brain halted, his eyes rolled in their sockets and the white was showing... everything went black.

Slam

Harry fainted.

Slam

Everyone looked alarmed to the second unexpected noise... Professor McGonagall fainted as well.

The King, Hiphook and Nasar dropped to the floor, holding their sides and shrieking loudly because of their laughter. Master Hiphook was very right; this was so much fun.

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