FicWad

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters, ideas, and situations created by JK Rowling and owned by her and her publishers. I own the original elements & characters. No money is being made by me, and no trademark or copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter II

It was late afternoon when the trio woke up. Actually, Hermione woke up first, but the bed was so crowded, that woke up the other two.

They each took a turn in the bathroom, and when Harry came out, he said, "I need you two to stay here."

"Harry. . . ." Hermione started.

"Hermione, I am not going to do anything too stupid, I promise. I need to collect as many of the Horcruxes as I can, leave a message for your parents, pick up some food, and things like that. Trust me."

"I don't, not for one minute, but I also know I probably can't stop you," Hermione admitted. "Be careful." She kissed Harry's cheek.

"Hurry back," Luna agreed, kissing the other cheek and patting Harry's butt.

"I will." Harry disappeared without a sound.

"Tell me everything you know or think you know about Horcruxes," Luna told Hermione. "Then I'll do the same."

"Right." Hermione hesitated. "Do you really think they're going to be a concern for long?"

Luna thought about that, and said, "Best to be prepared."

++++++++++++

Harry appeared first at Grimmauld Place. "Dobby! Kreacher!"

"Harry Potter, sir?"

"I need you to officially work for me, instead of this informal arrangement. Will you?"

Dobby started bouncing. "Oh, yes, Harry Potter, sir!"

Kreacher appeared. "Dirty master survived? Dirty master want Dobby? Puh. What does dirty master want of Kreacher?"

Harry scowled. "Why don't you just drop dead!"

Kreacher smiled, and dropped dead.

Harry blinked. He looked at Dobby. "Don't ever tell Hermione."

"No, Master Harry Potter, sir."

"Same hours as at Hogwarts, twice the pay, and don't call me 'master'. Hermione would have a fit."

"Mister Harry Potter, sir?"

"How about just 'Mister Harry' or sir, but never both? Deal?"

"Deal, Mister Harry."

Harry nodded. "First, can I authorize you to draw money for me from Gringotts?"

"Yes, Mister Harry. There is also a strongbox here, filled with over a thousand Galleons and nearly two thousand Muggle pounds."

Harry nodded. "We'll use that for now. Kreacher seemed to know already, but there was a massacre at the wedding, and that has really put me in a bad mood. Do you know where Remus' cottage is?"

"Yes, Mister Harry."

Harry pointed at Kreacher. "Dispose of that however you think appropriate. Then get together food for three, no four, for at least a week, and take it to Remus'. Hermione and Luna are there. All three of us will need clothes, too. If you think you'll need help, contact Winky or any other female you might prefer and offer her the same terms as you, except I know Winky at least won't take the pay. You'll take it for her, and spend it on her as she needs it."

Dobby smiled and nodded.

"Any questions?"

"No, but Mister Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Does you know how different the magic inside you is now?"

"I do," Harry affirmed.

Dobby grinned. "Mister Harry was great wizard. Now Dobby can see Mister Harry is greatest. I go!"

"Wait!"

"Mister Harry?"

"If you can do it without anyone knowing, can you get Luna and Hermione's clothes for them? Instead of buying them, I mean."

Dobby thought about that. "It might be better if Winky talks to Misses."

"Good idea."

"Dobby can get Mister Harry appropriate clothes, and take all things from dirty Dursleys and your Wheezies?"

"Yes."

Dobby blinked out of sight.

Harry collected the locket from where they had left it the previous year, not knowing then that it contained a Horcrux. Harry was just glad that Dung had not stolen it. Then he disapparated to the Grangers. He assured them that Hermione was fine, but suggested it might be safer if they spent the next few nights in Town. The Grangers agreed, but turned down Harry's offer to pay for a London hotel. The Grangers owned some rental property, and there was a furnished flat they could take over.

As the Grangers prepared to leave, Mrs. Granger made a suggestion which Harry promised to look into. Harry then noted the address they were going to, wrote a brief note in case he would need it in his next-to-last planned stop, and left. It only took him twenty minutes to collect two other Horcruxes. The final one was inside Nagini, and Nagini was with Voldemort and, no doubt, some Death Eaters, and Harry didn't feel ready to face that.

Harry instead took a risk and apparated to one of the hide-outs used by the Death Eaters, entering it with a burst of energy which stunned all of the people in the rambling house.

Viewing the effect, Harry nodded. This would likely not have been nearly strong enough to stun Voldemort. Harry did what he had to do to thirteen of the fifteen Death Eaters he found. He dumped the other two on the lawn, and then set a dozen fires inside the house.

All that took less than fifteen minutes.

Then he fully woke up Snape and Draco Malfoy (they were already coming out of the hex). Harry petrified them.

"I am really in a very bad mood," Harry growled. "Getting hit by nine Killing Curses will do that to a person. You both fouled up and missed me on purpose. Still, Snape, Malfoy, if I ever catch you anywhere near another Death Eater, you die with them." Harry magically turned them around so they could see the burning house. "Your thirteen colleagues are in there. They shouldn't come out of the deeper stuns I placed on them before they burn to death. I considered just petrifying Pettigrew, but stunned him anyway. Snape, I know exactly why you did what you did to Dumbledore, but never believe that many will believe you. I suggest you go to anyone who knows you are still a spy, assuming any of them are still alive after the massacre at the Weasleys this morning, and, well, the Muggle phrase is 'come in from the cold'. You're useless now as a spy, because you'll never be able to explain to Tom why you and Draco are alive, and those thirteen are dead. I doubt Tom will last too much longer in any case. My advice is to leave Europe and run to central Africa, India, or South America, so you'll never run into me."

By now, the entire structure was in flames. As Harry canceled the hex on the pair, screams were heard inside the house. "There were seventeen of us in there, Potter, not thirteen," Draco snapped.

Harry shrugged. "So what?" That made Draco and Snape blink in surprise. The screaming died out. "Remember what I said." Harry disappeared.

Draco turned to Snape. "We probably can't escape England magically. If you can get me out of the country and to a Gringotts branch, I can access enough money for us to hide comfortably."

More screams were heard for a few seconds. Snape said, "Let's get out of here.

++++++++++++

Harry next apparated to Voldemort's lair, easily smashing through the wards. He made certain to appear far away from Voldemort's location in the old mine system.

The wards were screaming from Harry's forced entry. He quickly popped to Nagini's location, once he determined that the snake was not near her master. Three quick slicing hexes -- two on Nagini and one for the Death Eater guarding her -- and Harry was gone after leaving a brief message he had pre-written at the Grangers while they had been finalizing their plans. He took the bloody Horcrux with him.

Voldemort was stunned at the crash-and-steal raid. He sent his inner circle off to collect the other Death Eaters, not knowing that Harry had already burned them. Voldemort had to go check on his other Horcruxes -- and to read the note that had been left for him next to the remains of his snake.

++++++++++++

Luna and Hermione each gave a small scream when Harry appeared. "I'm fine," he told them. "All the blood is from Voldemort's snake. I have all four Horcruxes."

"Destroy them later," Hermione snapped. "You're getting blood all over Remus' floor. Go shower or something."

"Shall I wash your back?" Luna offered.

"No, you won't get past his front," Hermione pointed out. "Go on, Harry."

After Harry left, Luna turned to Hermione and asked, "Are you trying to be his mother?"

"No," Hermione admitted. "And I shouldn't scold him. He's about all I have left in the magical world."

"Exactly. If we can't wash Harry, let's go see what that elf is up to in the attic. Then, we need to eat."

++++++++++++

Voldemort looked at the tidal pond in the cave with dismay. Potter's note was correct -- his other two Horcruxes were missing. The note also taunted him, claiming that Voldemort had unknowingly created a sixth Horcrux the night he had been disembodied.

If true, he did not dare to make what would now be a seventh Horcrux. Voldemort believed that death was an end, that there was no afterlife. Therefore, the 'soul' was material, and could only be split a finite number of times. He had planned on six divisions, and had apparently reached that limit. He did not dare create another to test the theory.

True, he had undergone other rituals. Still, while those might have made him 'immortal' in the sense that he would never die of natural causes or old age, as soon as Potter had destroyed those Horcruxes, he could be killed.

From all reports, until Potter had somehow survived multiple Killing Curses (every surviving Death Eater had claimed to have thrown one and to have hit Potter), most of the guests at the Burrow had been killed or injured. Voldemort had no idea who to threaten to force Potter to return the Horcruxes. By the time any suitable survivor might be found, the Horcruxes would likely be destroyed.

It was nearly impossible to believe the story of Potter's revival and destructive power, but the remains of the giants had been portkeyed back with the Death Eaters, and showed unbelievable damage. The fact that all the Death Eaters had told essentially the same story was also amazing (even Voldemort had to admit to himself that while they were all liars by nature, they could never have all agreed to a common story). The most intelligent troll had also told the same story -- more-or-less ("Widdle wizard turn green. Fall down. Get up. BOOM!")

Voldemort also knew that the dementors were fascinated by Potter, and they had fled the scene of battle and were not answering the calls he put out to them.

Voldemort knew he needed a totally new plan, but had no idea what that might be.

++++++++++++

Dobby and Winky had magically expanded the tiny attic over Remus' cottage (30x10, and only five foot high at the center) into a large bedroom and a sitting room (with an open fireplace between), a room with a huge bath and a shower, a small lavatory, and a little nook for the pair of them. The bedroom had a large bed (with three shelves for books acting as the headboard), two tables next tom the bed with magical reading lamps, and three magical trunks. There were also three coatracks, each with a cloak, a dressing gown, and an every day robe, and a pile of cushions, which could be placed in front of the fire.

The sitting room had a large comfy couch and four different chairs. Luna and Hermione immediately sat in two and smiled, as they were perfect. There were also a few small tables and magical reading lamps.

"Dobby, Winky. . . ." Hermione said looking around, "this is perfect."

The two elves bowed.

Harry came up the stairs fifteen minutes later and made a beeline for a third chair. "I always wanted a chair like this one," Harry said, easing into. Dobby pushed an ottoman under Harry's feet. "Thank you. I think I should give you a raise."

"No, Mister Harry," Dobby protested. "Dobby is pleased Ma . . . Mister Harry and his misses are pleased."

"You two are brilliant," Hermione agreed.

"Would the ma . . . Winky does not know what to call you, since Winky may not call you 'masters'," she complained.

"'Family'," Luna said.

Winky smiled even more than Harry. "Yes, Miss Luna. Would the Family wish to eat here off trays, or eat at table?"

"Trays?" Harry suggested. The other two nodded.

"Wolfman comes," Winky suddenly said.

"'Mister Remus'," Harry corrected. "This is his cottage, by the way."

"No, Mister Harry," Dobby corrected. "All elves can sense magical ownership. Mister Remus may live here, but this is all Mister Harry's land."

"You may be right, but in any case, invite Remus to come up. Winky, wait a moment on the food."

++++++++++++

A very wary Remus pocked his head up the stairs a few minutes later. He blinked.

"I have to admit, I didn't expect this," he said.

"If you want to clean up, we can wait a few minutes," Harry said.

"No, I actually got cleaned up and changed before I came back," Remus said, coming all the way up into the attic.

"Have a seat, while Winky gets us dinner."

Remus sank into the very nice chair, just the sort he had long been looking for, in fact, and in less than three minutes, there was a tray for every one.

As they ate through the onion soup, fresh bread, Cheshire cheese, salad, shepherd's pie, and finally a pumpkin custard, Harry gave the amazed werewolf a summery of his day. Finished with both the meal and his explanation, Harry sank back and asked, "So, how bad is it?"

"Fred and George are the only Weasleys left," Remus said bluntly. "One is missing a good part of his left arm, the other will have some severe facial scaring. Most of the Order is dead or seriously wounded. Tonks . . . Tonks should be all right in a few days, but nearly died from multiple concussions. Moody will have a lot more scars, and will be missing the fourth and fifth fingers on his wand hand."

"Scrimgeour took a lot of hits, but he's alive and as mad as hell. Most of the aurors survived, but are in rough shape. Three ran, and if Scrimgeour catches them they'll be more than sorry. He's finally doing what he should have done last summer -- he's asking for help from the other Ministries, through the International."

"The goblins nearly all survived, and if anything, they're even more angry than Scrimgeour. I have to admit, I don't have the full casualty list."

Harry nodded. "I'll send the Minister and Gringotts a note tomorrow, with a list of the Death Eaters I executed. I should feel up to chasing Tom and his friends down in the morning. He still has Malfoy senior, the three Lestranges, Dolohov, and Greyback with him. All the others were taken out sometime today."

"Are you certain, Harry?" Remus asked.

"I'm fairly certain, unless there were others I didn't know about." He stretched. "I know, it's not even Nine o'clock, but I am tired."

Remus took the hint and left.

Harry quickly crawled into bed, and Hermione and Luna snuggled up to him, and they fell asleep.

++++++++++++

Voldemort had not believed the reports, and so had gone to look at the secondary meeting place. The disaster was worse than he had expected. He ordered Malfoy and the Lestrange brothers to collect what valuables they could. Greyback was sent to sniff around for information. Bellatrix and Dolohov went with Voldemort to a hideaway in the Alps.

++++++++++++

Hermione awoke with a slight shaking on her shoulder. "Wha. . . ?" She opened her eyes. "Luna, it's not even light out!"

"Harry's gone," Luna said sadly. "Whatever is going to happen has started."

Hermione thought about that and shivered.

Luna gathered her friend in her arms, and they managed to fall back asleep.

++++++++++++

The Lestrange brothers were deep under the dungeons of an old ruined castle. A necromancer back in the 1400s had created the catacombs for his Dark experiments. Voldemort had discovered them back in the 1950s, and had stored various items there.

"Rudy?" Rastaban called out. He turned around and sighed. His brother was still the least recovered of those who had spent a long period inside Azkaban -- at least among those still alive. He had thought his brother had been following him.

Rastaban went back to the last intersection of tight corridors. His eyes went wide when he saw the beheaded body of his brother down a side passage. He wondered if his brother had tripped some hidden snare.

That was the last coherent thought of Rastaban Lestrange, as his head also fell to the floor.

++++++++++++

Lucius Malfoy had just finished collecting the treasures which he had hidden so that none other, save his master, could locate them. As he started to turn around, he was Petrified.

Lucius was only slightly surprised to see that he had been captured by The Boy. "Hello, Lucy," Harry greeted him. "Still feeling lucky? Still feel that you made the right decision to follow Tom Riddle?" Harry snapped his fingers. "Still feel it was a bright idea to have your wife guard your back?" A Petrified Narcissa floated in front of Lucius' eyes.

"Of all the people I'm really really angry with, you two are near the top of the list. Riddle and Bellatrix are about the only people ahead of you two, although Snape and Draco were close."

Harry easily picked up their thoughts. "Yes, I said 'were'. Oh, I killed all the other Death Eaters, other than the ones who were sucking up to Riddle with you and your bitch here. I spared Snape and Draco, because Snape was a spy -- a piss-poor spy, but a spy. Draco never had the guts to stand up to anyone who wasn't even weaker than he is. So, I let them live."

Harry smiled nastily. "So, they're alive, yes. Unpunished, no. Draco will never have another erection. Ever. And his balls will waste away over the next few weeks. He'll be sterile in a few days. No more Malfoys, or at least none from your branch of the family. As for Snape, well, he's gradually going to develop a serious tremor in his hands. He'll never make a potion again."

Harry glared at the couple. "If I could, I'd turn you both into house elves. Instead. . . ." Harry made a long series of complex motions, and multiple colors washed over the pair. Over all, it took Harry over twelve minutes. When it was over, Harry unPetrified them and handed them back their wands.

Lucius instantly called out a disemboweling curse, but nothing happened. "What did you do?" he demanded.

"Oh a whole series of things," Harry smirked. "Until you each accomplish a task, your magic is locked up."

"Locked up?" Narcissa demanded.

"As in, you can't use it."

"And that task is?" Lucius demanded.

Harry smirked. "You each have the same task. You must each complete . . . the act of oral sex on five thousand Muggles, and accept the act of sodomy from the same number."

The Malfoys were speechless.

"Yes, you have to suck off five thousand different male Muggles, and take the same number up your aristocratic arses. And they have to be different. Do it twice with the same Muggle, and neither count. Bitch? Every man you fuck adds ten to each number. Every wizard you take in any way adds a hundred to each. Think of Sirius each time you have someone up your arse. And you, you bastard, the same penalty for sex with a wizard, or any woman, magical or Muggle. And every time you have an orgasm adds a hundred to each number as well."

"Therefore," Harry continued, "you don't need those wands." He summoned them and snapped them. A wave of Harry's wand and they were dressed in 'sweats' and sandals. "So, you have no identification, no money, and you can't tell anyone who doesn't already know you that you're magical. Nor can you tell anyone why you've lost your magic. Oh, and of course I'm sending you both to different places." He frowned. "There was something else, but I suppose it doesn't matter." He tossed two portkeys at them, and they disappeared. Lucius was sent to Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Narcissa was sent to Calcutta, India.

Harry suddenly snapped his fingers. "Now I remember. When their magic unlocks, it will kill them." He shrugged. "Oh, well, they'll find out."

Harry disapparated.