FicWad

The problem-well, one of the problems-with being around someone constantly was that you had no time to yourself to think. Light had just concluded anew not to mention the worrying holes in his memory to L when the detective turned away from his monitor to face him.

"Light-kun, you're not telling me everything." Dammit. L hadn't even been watching his expression. How had he managed that one?

"What are you talking about? Of course I am, Ryuuzaki," Light responded defensively. L's brows narrowed.

"No, you aren't. And that time you even sounded like you were lying to me." L's tone, rather than sounding accusatory, seemed dismayed at this statement.

Light looked at him for a moment. "You would prefer I lied flawlessly?"

"Kira would lie flawlessly." L's tone was dead.

"And you would prefer I were Kira." It wasn't a question. "Right."

There was a tense pause.

"I don't have to trust you, Light-kun. That's what these are for." L raised a wrist and the chain in between them jingled. "But you do have to trust me, or we won't get anywhere."

That made Light irrationally frustrated, even though he understood the reasoning. "What do I have to do to prove to you that I do trust you?"

L rotated his chair back to face the monitors and stared up into space, chewing on his thumbnail. After about a minute of this, when Light was starting to wonder if L was just going to ignore the question, he spoke again. "Kira puts himself in the position of a god. He deeply values control, because he trusts his judgment over all others."

Light gritted his teeth slightly. "You want to take away my control? You've already locked me in a room under full observation for two months. I'm currently /chained /to you."

"Now, Light-kun, that's a security precaution, as you well know. It's not meant to completely take away your control. And if you remember, for former was at your request."

"Alright." Light considered just going back to work, but he couldn't let this go. "What would you do to take away my control, then?"

L looked at him consideringly for a moment. Then he stood. "Follow me." As if Light had an option, when L started walking away toward their room without pausing.

When they were in the hotel suite they shared when sleep became necessary, L led him to the bed and gestured to it. "Sit down." Wary, Light did as he was told. L pulled out a cloth handkerchief from a pocket and folded it diagonally. "We'll start with this. Close your eyes."

"Why-" but no. Trust. Light closed his eyes and let L tie the cloth across them. He fought a brief moment of panic as L shifted away. Silly. A blindfold was nothing.

"Now, stay there, Light-kun." He heard metal on metal and then the jangling of chain-had L unlocked his side of the cuffs?-before it fell still. L had likely attached the other end of the cuffs to something stationary, like the bed. But there was the possibility that it was hanging loose. The urge to pull on it and see was almost irresistible, but Light didn't want to defeat the point of this exercise quite this early on.

There was silence for at least a full minute, and Light began to wonder what he'd do if L had just locked him up here and left. Then, suddenly, a voice came from near his ear, close enough for the breath to stir his hair. Light jumped.

"You're tense, Light-kun. What do you think is going to happen while I'm around?"

Trying to keep his voice steady despite his racing heart, Light responded, "It's not a matter of thinking, Ryuuzaki. It's my body's instinctive response to being vulnerable. My brain trusts you." Speaking while blindfolded was strange; like talking to himself, since he couldn't meet the other's eyes. He wondered if he sounded as false outside his own head.

"Hmm." L's voice moved away again. "Unbutton your shirt."

Light bit down on his questions and instead felt for his buttons. Putting him in a vulnerable position and seeing when he rebelled, that's what L was doing. Simple enough to just do what he said. He was no doubt safe in any case.

It didn't stop him from feeling the prickle of invisible eyes across his skin once his shirt hung open.

A few moments later Light jumped again when he felt hands on his skin. L slid his shirt off his shoulders, and after Light shifted to allow it, off of his uncuffed hand. The sleeve couldn't come completely off the handcuffed side, of course, though it felt by the movement that L slid it down the chain a bit, out of the way. Then Light felt the stir of air as L moved away again.

After another uncomfortably long time-"Now, stand up. Take off your pants and underwear."

"/What/?" Light couldn't help asking incredulously.

"Light-kun, please." Gently admonishing.

Light took a breath and stood, noting that the way the handcuff chain hung meant it likely /was /cuffed to the headboard. "Fine." He undid his belt, unbuttoned his pants, and slid them and his boxers off. He made a point of standing calmly, facing directly where L's voice had come from. If L thought taking his clothes off was going to be enough to make him uncomfortable-

"Good." There was a strange tone to L's voice. "Now, get back and lay on the bed." Light did as ordered. "Spread your legs wide, so your ankles hook over the sides." Light grit his teeth and obeyed. It was just a stupid tactic to make him feel vulnerable. Just a test.

After a few moments of it, though, Light had had enough. "This isn't going to work, you know."

There was a brief pause before L responded. Perhaps Light had managed to surprise him. "Oh?"

"Yes. You think that me listening to you will somehow prove that I trust you. But even if I didn't trust you, there's no way that I'd actually think you'd-" he faltered only for a moment-"rape me, or whatever. Because if you did that you'd be betraying whatever trust I did have for you, and compromising my desire to help you. And so you won't. And since I know that, it doesn't actually prove anything."

Light could hear L's smile. "An excellent analysis, as always, Light-kun. I see only two flaws."

Irritated, Light scowled. "What flaws?"

"First, most people would not be quite as rational as you in that position." Light was suddenly very aware of said position as he felt the foot of the bed dip under L's weight. "And second, you may have misread my intentions."

Then he felt L's hand slide under his cock, and a breath of warm air, and before he really processed that he was sitting up and fumbling to push L away.

"What-what are you /doing/, Ryuuzaki?" Light blurted when he managed to find L's shoulders to shove.

There was silence, and Light realized that was a ridiculously stupid question and felt embarrassed for having voiced it. He could picture the look on L's face-raised eyebrow, slight smirk, asking clear as day if he really needed it spelled out for him.

He didn't, and L knew that, so the next words out of his mouth were, "If you would, Light-kun, please lie back down and put your hands above your head."

It was worded as a request, and so Light didn't move while he considered it. His instincts screamed /no/, of course-that it was a violation, it was bizarre, he didn't want it. But they'd been doing that since his eyes had been covered. And if he quit now, it was all to no purpose. And it meant L was right.

Before Light realized he'd come to a conclusion he was lying back down. He clasped his hands above his head, the long chain of his handcuff looping back on itself.

There was another pause in which Light imagined L to be frozen in surprise. /Would Kira do this/? Light thought viciously.

Then L touched him again, his hand curving under his soft cock and lifting, stroking. Light's muscles twitched, but he kept himself still. His hands clenched in on themselves tighter.

He tried to relax, tried to dissociate the physical sensations from what was happening. But it was no use-he couldn't forget that he was here, naked, blindfolded and handcuffed to a bed, with L, the legendary detective who'd had him locked up for two months, who in truth would still prefer it if Light was a mass murderer, stroking Light's cock. And god, he was getting hard for it.

L hummed consideringly. Light heard fabric rustle as L shifted, and then he felt warm, moist air move across the head of his cock again. He realized his knuckles were probably white with how hard his hands were clasped. He forcibly relaxed them.

A few seconds later, L's lips closed around him. Light's hips bucked involuntarily, and the head of his cock slid across the roof of L's mouth. He choked back a groan.

L's hands settled on Light's hips to hold him down as he took him further into his mouth. Light's mouth worked without any words coming out. Then L slid back a bit and did something strange with his tongue, a twisting lick and a push at a spot on the underside of his cock, and Light strangled a scream.

A few minutes of this passed before Light realized that there was only one of L's hands left on his hips, and it wasn't really holding him down. As for the other-Light focused enough to hear a zipper, then the rustle of fabric in motion. Then L took him in deep and moaned around him, and Light's thoughts scattered away from their target.

This was completely strange and ridiculous. Letting L suck his cock didn't prove anything except that L's boundaries were completely unlike those of a normal person. L certainly wouldn't be any less likely to believe he was Kira; he'd already shown he was going to believe that in face of the evidence. Light should unclasp his hands right now, take off the blindfold, push L off and move /away/. Nothing was holding him here.

Except now he was /close/, and he could feel his orgasm coming like a tangible thing. And he was probably still cuffed to the headboard, so it's not like he would get far. He'd pull the fabric from his eyes, push L away, roll off the bed and then not be able to leave. He'd have to stand there, cock hard and dripping with L's saliva, and look at L on the bed, looking betrayed, with slick lips and probably still with his hand down his pants-

The force with which Light came surprised him, and sent shudders through his whole body. He bucked up into L's mouth, and L made a tiny choking sound before pulling back and-damn him-/swallowing/.

Light lay there, body still quaking, for several minutes before he noticed that L had moved away.

"You can take off the blindfold now, Light-kun." L's voice was rough, and it took Light a few seconds to process what he was saying. Once he did, he found himself blinking at the brightness of the room. L was standing, looking surprisingly impassive. But his lips were still moist.

Light turned away and reached for his pants. L went to transfer the handcuff back to his own wrist.

When he had his clothes back on, Light turned to L. "Well?"

L gnawed on his thumb. Light tried not to watch his mouth too closely. "You're not a god."

Light sighed. "I did know that, Ryuuzaki."

"And I knew you'd say that, Light-kun." L said, sounding resigned. The darkness in his eyes was not gone.