Categories > Anime/Manga > Full Metal Alchemist > Anaconda
Tarts and Witches
Mustang's not having much of a good day today. First, Riza breaks up with him and then, Tawny, the nurses, and col. French make work a living nightmare for him. Songs Recommended: "Go Your Own Way"...
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Summary: Mustang's not having much of a good day today. First, Riza breaks up with him and then, Tawny, the nurses, and col. French make work a living nightmare for him. Songs Recommended: "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac and "Stuck in the Middle" by Steelers Wheel
Tarts and Witches
Simone's Notes:
In some cultures, the women are seen as bad. They are usually cast as weak, stupid, desperate, evil, and oversexed. In fact, women are denied their natural rights to feel sexual pleasure with any men they truly desire. They are supposed to be innocent and fringed. Even in America during World War II the victory girls were looked down upon. Throughout history, women are seen as the enemy. But, are the women really the enemy or is it just some sort of a propaganda created by men just to belittle their counterparts because of fear they are superior to them?
Mustang sat in the bar late in the evening with his third vodka in his hand. His day was crap! It was all thanks to nurses, Hawkeye, Tawny, and the rest of the female species. They all just made his day Hell. "Did they all just come together and plot to drive me today?" he thought annoyed. Sure, he had his moment of glory over Phoenix, but it was short-lived by the other women in his life. These women were just Hell! The colonel downed his drink quickly. "Pour me another one!" he yelled out. "Are you sure sir?" the bar tender asked uneasily. "Yes!" Mustang yelled out. "I deserve another drink!" "Okay..." the bar tender said he poured the man more vodka. He the liquid filled the glass, the colonel reflected on his awful day.
Earlier this morning
Roy came to Riza's door early in the morning. She said she just had to see him again. The colonel became really excited. He hadn't seen his girlfriend in weeks. So, one can imagine that joy that he felt. He even had a huge bouquet of roses in his hand. But sadly, the roses would end up in the trash! Roy rang the doorbell in excitement. "Coming!" a voice called out from behind the door. The colonel straightened himself up a bit while he waited. He had been wanting to shag Riza for weeks now. Maybe she could restore some of the bedroom glory that Daphine had stolen from him. Then, the door opened wide. Riza stood in front of him with a serious face. Mustang's glow slowly began to fade away. "Riza," he spoke up. "You look down. What's wrong?" The lieutenant didn't say a word at first. Then she said, "Oh colonel, come inside. We need to talk." Then, she went back into her house. Roy followed inside concerned. Something truly wasn't right!
They made it straight into the kitchen. Riza sat down at the table. Roy just stood in doorway and watching. The only light in the room was coming from the revealed kitchen window. The clock was softly ticking in the background. Black Hayate was sleeping quietly on the floor. Riza put both of her hands firmly on the table. She tried her best not to tremble at all. The woman had been debating this decision in her head for days now. Many times she tried to tell Mustang, but too many things had gotten in the way. Riza finally toughened up and call Roy over to her house personally. This was going to be hard for her, but she had to do it if she wanted a real relationship with Jakob. "Jakob deserves a full relationship with me!" she reasoned with herself for the last time. "I can't two-time both guys anymore! Jakob is too good for that!"
"What's wrong, Riza?" Roy asked again in concern. The lieutenant still didn't speak at first. She didn't even look up at him. This wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. "For Jakob's sake!" Riza thought bravely. "Listen," she said at last. "Is there really any point to us being together?" "What do you mean?" Mustang asked in confusion. Hawkeye shook her head and drew in a deep breath afterwards. "Lately," she began again. "Our relationship has been going nowhere. You keep going off with different women and we barely talk personally. The only time that we are together is at work. I kept hoping foolishly that things would turn around, but they haven't. So, I did some thinking a few days ago. I don't really see a point to us hanging on like this. Maybe it's best that we went our separate ways and saw other people." Silence lingered over them like the smell of a rotting corpse being left out for days and days. Mustang slowly lowered the roses in his hand. "So... you're saying you're breaking up me?" he asked in shock. Hawkeye nodded to him slowly. The colonel dropped the roses in shock. "B-But... But why?" he managed to ask in shook. Riza turned and looked up at him. Here came the hardest part. "I've fallen in love with someone else!" she announced boldly. Mustang couldn't believe what he was hearing! First French shows up to mock him, then, Jaks turns him down and insults him, then Tawny makes a monkey out of him, then Daphine tells everyone that he's lousy in bed, then he almost loses his career due to Jaks, Phoenix, Anjia, and Izzie, and now the woman he loved is dumping him for another man! "Well, may I ask who you are leaving me for?" Roy blurted out. Riza just shook her head. "I'm so sorry." she replied. That shattered Mustang's world into tiny pieces. He could barely speak anymore. It was as if she had ripped out his heart and shot it multiple times. The lieutenant kept her stoic. "I am so sorry." she said again. Roy still couldn't speak. He just turned pale and walked away. Even though she didn't show it on the outside, Riza was crying in her heart. "It was for the best!" she thought.
Talk about a bad morning! Roy had just lost the one woman who understood him well. He knew that they had been drifting away lately, but he didn't expected things to be that bad! How could he have been so blind not to notice? She had just fallen out of love with him and moved on. But to whom? Who could be so great that Riza would just dump him without hesitation? This had never happened to him before! He was Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist! How could he get rejected by two women for someone else, in the same month no less? This couldn't be his own life right now! This had to be some poor bloke's sad miserable life! Oh, col. French would have a blast with this latest chapter of his book of recorded failures in his head. Mustang shuttered as he heard her voice mocking him right that very second. "Hawkeye finally dumped ya, eh Roy?" she would ask him. "It's about time! I don't know what she said in you, anyway! I bet she left you for a younger man!" Boy, it would be awkward at work from now on. And speaking of work, Mustang began to smile again. He remembered that he was now a brigadier general! Surely, some woman would take interest in him. And right then, Mustang's confidence returned back to normal again. But, that too would short-lived.
Inside, Jacilyn testing a sergeant for STDs when she looked up and saw Mustang walking by. Shocked, she left her patient and followed after the colonel. She wasn't sure if he was back or if she was seeing things. Grinning to himself, Mustang turned to face her. Nurse Ray tried her best not to look shocked. "Hello, Nurse Ray!" Roy greeted her in his usual arrogance. "What are you doing here?!?" she asked aloud at last. "What I do best," Mustang answered. "Leading my men!" Jaks's jaw dropped open. The colonel smirked to himself and kept walking to his office. "I feel better already!" he thought in great joy. But, that was short-lived!
So far, Mustang's morning looked like it would be good after all. There were no arguments, works was easier today, and Hawkeye seemed great about working with her ex. But then, the nightmare started up again. Mustang had finished signing his last paper when he looked up and out the door. Tawny poked her head into the door. The colonel's happiness slowly turned into anger. The hooker looked right at him. "Oh!" she replied innocently. "This is the wrong office..." "What are you doing here, Tawny?" he asked coldly. The hooker smiled at him. "I'm helping out with the Night Slayer case!" she answered proudly. That made Mustang even angrier. "That is the biggest bull shit I have even heard!" he yelled out as he threw his pen to the desk. Tawny kept smiling at him sweetly. "Don't believe me," she replied boldly. "Ask your buddy, Maes!" Then, the hooker walked away laughing. That really pissed Mustang's bonfire! Many times he wanted to kill that bitch! "Don't give in!" he thought to himself over and over again. "She's just trying to make you look worse!" But this time, that wasn't helping at all! That hooker had hit a sensitive nerve with him this time! The colonel found himself rising to his feet and marching straight down to Hughes' office to get the truth!
"Yes, she is helping us on this case!" Hughes answered casually. "WHY?!?" Mustang yelled out. "She's a sex worker and Tawny does well in this area." the lt. colonel replied calmly. Roy looked as if he was going to kill somebody. "But I banned her from the base!" he yelled out. "And I revised your order, sir!" a voice spoke up. Both men turned to see Renee French staring at them. Mustang's blood boiled even more. "Why?!?" he asked harshly. French stepped forward gracefully. "Because," she answered boldly. "We need all of the help we could with this case! Our help seems to the sex trade business perfectly! So, be grateful that she's here with us! If you have a problem with that, get over it!" Mustang was at a loss for words. "Uh... Uh..." he replied in angry defeat. Renee smiled at him. "Good!" she said to him. "Have a nice day!" Then she walked away gracefully.
By lunch time, Mustang wasn't having it so hot! Riza dumped him, Tawny is working on the Night Slayer case with the military, and French had belittled him again. Could things get any worse for him? Unfortunately, the answer was yes! Mustang was eating his lunch when he noticed that everyone was staring dead at him. Some of them were even whispering about him. The colonel had noticed that these men and women had been doing this to him for weeks now. This was pretty annoying to him.
"WHAT?!?" he snapped. The dogs all kept staring at him as if he was a new animal in a zoo. Then, the colonel heard footsteps walking towards him. He slowly looked up and saw Daphine walking towards him with a huge smile on her face. Mustang became both nervous and annoyed. "Oh goodie, the queen of tarts is here!" he thought sarcastically. The nurse made her way over to him. She sat down in front of her former fling. Roy glared at her coldly. "Hi," Daphine said in a sweet and sexy tone. Mustang rolled his eyes in response. "What the hell do you want?" he snapped. The nurse looked as if he had truly hurt her feelings. "Aw, Roy!" she exclaimed. "Don't be like that. I only came to ask you a small question." The colonel still looked at her coldly. "What is it?" he snapped. The nurse kept smiling at him sweetly. "Did Riza Hawkeye really break up with you?" she asked sweetly. That was another sucker punch to the colonel's ego. "How did you know all of that?!?" he snapped angrily. Daphine kept smiling at him. "Oh," she answered gingerly. "Word gets around quick here at Central! So is it true?" The Flame Alchemist didn't want to answer that. The nurse smiled like Satan himself. She had trapped her prey in a corner. Now, it was time to deliver the deadly punches.
"Oh!" Daphine called aloud to draw attention to herself. "So it is true! Riza Hawkeye dumped you for another man! I wonder why! Hm? Could it be because you were lousy in bed? I would know, because I slept with him! I had better sex by myself!" Dead silence was all around. Mustang was close to the edge by now. Now, everyone knew his dirty laundry! He wanted to strangle her to death so badly. But instead, Mustang got up and stormed away. "That's right!" the nurse shouted out. "Run away from the truth!" Then, she looked and saw everyone staring at her. "Okay people!" Daphine yelled out. "Show's over! As you were!" Then, everyone went back to eating. The nurse just gracefully finished the colonel's lunch.
Everywhere Mustang went for the rest of the day, everyone talked, stared, and whispered about him. When, the colonel glared at them, the people acted like they were doing something else. His male subordinates looked on him with great pity in their eyes. They all wanted to see something to him, but they all knew better than that. They might all set off the anger monster within him. The nurses and Tawny weren't helping the situation with their little comments about his short-comings. Renee's comments were like a constant hard hit on the back with a leaf branch from one's annoying cousin following them around. It took all of his self-control not to try and murder his colleague. For the rest of the day, Hawkeye's eyes seemed to always be apologizing to him. "This is all your fault, you stupid bitch!" he wanted to yelled out to her. But what good would that do? They both knew that he was just as guilty as she was for this break-up. Maybe, this was his punishment for being a lousy boyfriend to her. But did it all have to be this harsh?
The colonel all found work to be difficult to focus on today. Most of the papers were until signed and he disconnected his phone to avoid anymore crank calls from the nurses. He even locked his door to keep from having more "visitors" came by and say they felt sorry for him. By evening, he decided to quit for the day and head out to the bar. He needed something to keep from topping himself. The man was heading a major headache from all of this stress and torture. Now, he was on his forth glass of vodka.
Present after a couple of hours
The bar-tender looked at the colonel closely. "Sir," he spoke up. "I think you should go home now, I'm about to close up." Mustang looked up at him with blood-shot eyes and laughed aloud. "Home?" he asked drunkenly. "Why? So I can hic go back and by mortared by some idiots, witches, and slutty tarts? My girl just dumped me for such other guy that seems to have hic a bigger hic penis than me! Hic Now, that's a laugh!" Then, Roy passed on the bar. The tender became nervous. He looked around quickly. "Uh...." the tender said aloud. "Can call a cab for him with I try to get him out of here?" Oh well, poor Roy! Maybe tomorrow well be better. Maybe!
Next Night
Next Time: Due to an act of clumsiness, Madeline becomes Dr. James' victim of bullying. Will Daniel be a man and fight for her?
Tarts and Witches
Simone's Notes:
In some cultures, the women are seen as bad. They are usually cast as weak, stupid, desperate, evil, and oversexed. In fact, women are denied their natural rights to feel sexual pleasure with any men they truly desire. They are supposed to be innocent and fringed. Even in America during World War II the victory girls were looked down upon. Throughout history, women are seen as the enemy. But, are the women really the enemy or is it just some sort of a propaganda created by men just to belittle their counterparts because of fear they are superior to them?
Mustang sat in the bar late in the evening with his third vodka in his hand. His day was crap! It was all thanks to nurses, Hawkeye, Tawny, and the rest of the female species. They all just made his day Hell. "Did they all just come together and plot to drive me today?" he thought annoyed. Sure, he had his moment of glory over Phoenix, but it was short-lived by the other women in his life. These women were just Hell! The colonel downed his drink quickly. "Pour me another one!" he yelled out. "Are you sure sir?" the bar tender asked uneasily. "Yes!" Mustang yelled out. "I deserve another drink!" "Okay..." the bar tender said he poured the man more vodka. He the liquid filled the glass, the colonel reflected on his awful day.
Earlier this morning
Roy came to Riza's door early in the morning. She said she just had to see him again. The colonel became really excited. He hadn't seen his girlfriend in weeks. So, one can imagine that joy that he felt. He even had a huge bouquet of roses in his hand. But sadly, the roses would end up in the trash! Roy rang the doorbell in excitement. "Coming!" a voice called out from behind the door. The colonel straightened himself up a bit while he waited. He had been wanting to shag Riza for weeks now. Maybe she could restore some of the bedroom glory that Daphine had stolen from him. Then, the door opened wide. Riza stood in front of him with a serious face. Mustang's glow slowly began to fade away. "Riza," he spoke up. "You look down. What's wrong?" The lieutenant didn't say a word at first. Then she said, "Oh colonel, come inside. We need to talk." Then, she went back into her house. Roy followed inside concerned. Something truly wasn't right!
They made it straight into the kitchen. Riza sat down at the table. Roy just stood in doorway and watching. The only light in the room was coming from the revealed kitchen window. The clock was softly ticking in the background. Black Hayate was sleeping quietly on the floor. Riza put both of her hands firmly on the table. She tried her best not to tremble at all. The woman had been debating this decision in her head for days now. Many times she tried to tell Mustang, but too many things had gotten in the way. Riza finally toughened up and call Roy over to her house personally. This was going to be hard for her, but she had to do it if she wanted a real relationship with Jakob. "Jakob deserves a full relationship with me!" she reasoned with herself for the last time. "I can't two-time both guys anymore! Jakob is too good for that!"
"What's wrong, Riza?" Roy asked again in concern. The lieutenant still didn't speak at first. She didn't even look up at him. This wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. "For Jakob's sake!" Riza thought bravely. "Listen," she said at last. "Is there really any point to us being together?" "What do you mean?" Mustang asked in confusion. Hawkeye shook her head and drew in a deep breath afterwards. "Lately," she began again. "Our relationship has been going nowhere. You keep going off with different women and we barely talk personally. The only time that we are together is at work. I kept hoping foolishly that things would turn around, but they haven't. So, I did some thinking a few days ago. I don't really see a point to us hanging on like this. Maybe it's best that we went our separate ways and saw other people." Silence lingered over them like the smell of a rotting corpse being left out for days and days. Mustang slowly lowered the roses in his hand. "So... you're saying you're breaking up me?" he asked in shock. Hawkeye nodded to him slowly. The colonel dropped the roses in shock. "B-But... But why?" he managed to ask in shook. Riza turned and looked up at him. Here came the hardest part. "I've fallen in love with someone else!" she announced boldly. Mustang couldn't believe what he was hearing! First French shows up to mock him, then, Jaks turns him down and insults him, then Tawny makes a monkey out of him, then Daphine tells everyone that he's lousy in bed, then he almost loses his career due to Jaks, Phoenix, Anjia, and Izzie, and now the woman he loved is dumping him for another man! "Well, may I ask who you are leaving me for?" Roy blurted out. Riza just shook her head. "I'm so sorry." she replied. That shattered Mustang's world into tiny pieces. He could barely speak anymore. It was as if she had ripped out his heart and shot it multiple times. The lieutenant kept her stoic. "I am so sorry." she said again. Roy still couldn't speak. He just turned pale and walked away. Even though she didn't show it on the outside, Riza was crying in her heart. "It was for the best!" she thought.
Talk about a bad morning! Roy had just lost the one woman who understood him well. He knew that they had been drifting away lately, but he didn't expected things to be that bad! How could he have been so blind not to notice? She had just fallen out of love with him and moved on. But to whom? Who could be so great that Riza would just dump him without hesitation? This had never happened to him before! He was Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist! How could he get rejected by two women for someone else, in the same month no less? This couldn't be his own life right now! This had to be some poor bloke's sad miserable life! Oh, col. French would have a blast with this latest chapter of his book of recorded failures in his head. Mustang shuttered as he heard her voice mocking him right that very second. "Hawkeye finally dumped ya, eh Roy?" she would ask him. "It's about time! I don't know what she said in you, anyway! I bet she left you for a younger man!" Boy, it would be awkward at work from now on. And speaking of work, Mustang began to smile again. He remembered that he was now a brigadier general! Surely, some woman would take interest in him. And right then, Mustang's confidence returned back to normal again. But, that too would short-lived.
Inside, Jacilyn testing a sergeant for STDs when she looked up and saw Mustang walking by. Shocked, she left her patient and followed after the colonel. She wasn't sure if he was back or if she was seeing things. Grinning to himself, Mustang turned to face her. Nurse Ray tried her best not to look shocked. "Hello, Nurse Ray!" Roy greeted her in his usual arrogance. "What are you doing here?!?" she asked aloud at last. "What I do best," Mustang answered. "Leading my men!" Jaks's jaw dropped open. The colonel smirked to himself and kept walking to his office. "I feel better already!" he thought in great joy. But, that was short-lived!
So far, Mustang's morning looked like it would be good after all. There were no arguments, works was easier today, and Hawkeye seemed great about working with her ex. But then, the nightmare started up again. Mustang had finished signing his last paper when he looked up and out the door. Tawny poked her head into the door. The colonel's happiness slowly turned into anger. The hooker looked right at him. "Oh!" she replied innocently. "This is the wrong office..." "What are you doing here, Tawny?" he asked coldly. The hooker smiled at him. "I'm helping out with the Night Slayer case!" she answered proudly. That made Mustang even angrier. "That is the biggest bull shit I have even heard!" he yelled out as he threw his pen to the desk. Tawny kept smiling at him sweetly. "Don't believe me," she replied boldly. "Ask your buddy, Maes!" Then, the hooker walked away laughing. That really pissed Mustang's bonfire! Many times he wanted to kill that bitch! "Don't give in!" he thought to himself over and over again. "She's just trying to make you look worse!" But this time, that wasn't helping at all! That hooker had hit a sensitive nerve with him this time! The colonel found himself rising to his feet and marching straight down to Hughes' office to get the truth!
"Yes, she is helping us on this case!" Hughes answered casually. "WHY?!?" Mustang yelled out. "She's a sex worker and Tawny does well in this area." the lt. colonel replied calmly. Roy looked as if he was going to kill somebody. "But I banned her from the base!" he yelled out. "And I revised your order, sir!" a voice spoke up. Both men turned to see Renee French staring at them. Mustang's blood boiled even more. "Why?!?" he asked harshly. French stepped forward gracefully. "Because," she answered boldly. "We need all of the help we could with this case! Our help seems to the sex trade business perfectly! So, be grateful that she's here with us! If you have a problem with that, get over it!" Mustang was at a loss for words. "Uh... Uh..." he replied in angry defeat. Renee smiled at him. "Good!" she said to him. "Have a nice day!" Then she walked away gracefully.
By lunch time, Mustang wasn't having it so hot! Riza dumped him, Tawny is working on the Night Slayer case with the military, and French had belittled him again. Could things get any worse for him? Unfortunately, the answer was yes! Mustang was eating his lunch when he noticed that everyone was staring dead at him. Some of them were even whispering about him. The colonel had noticed that these men and women had been doing this to him for weeks now. This was pretty annoying to him.
"WHAT?!?" he snapped. The dogs all kept staring at him as if he was a new animal in a zoo. Then, the colonel heard footsteps walking towards him. He slowly looked up and saw Daphine walking towards him with a huge smile on her face. Mustang became both nervous and annoyed. "Oh goodie, the queen of tarts is here!" he thought sarcastically. The nurse made her way over to him. She sat down in front of her former fling. Roy glared at her coldly. "Hi," Daphine said in a sweet and sexy tone. Mustang rolled his eyes in response. "What the hell do you want?" he snapped. The nurse looked as if he had truly hurt her feelings. "Aw, Roy!" she exclaimed. "Don't be like that. I only came to ask you a small question." The colonel still looked at her coldly. "What is it?" he snapped. The nurse kept smiling at him sweetly. "Did Riza Hawkeye really break up with you?" she asked sweetly. That was another sucker punch to the colonel's ego. "How did you know all of that?!?" he snapped angrily. Daphine kept smiling at him. "Oh," she answered gingerly. "Word gets around quick here at Central! So is it true?" The Flame Alchemist didn't want to answer that. The nurse smiled like Satan himself. She had trapped her prey in a corner. Now, it was time to deliver the deadly punches.
"Oh!" Daphine called aloud to draw attention to herself. "So it is true! Riza Hawkeye dumped you for another man! I wonder why! Hm? Could it be because you were lousy in bed? I would know, because I slept with him! I had better sex by myself!" Dead silence was all around. Mustang was close to the edge by now. Now, everyone knew his dirty laundry! He wanted to strangle her to death so badly. But instead, Mustang got up and stormed away. "That's right!" the nurse shouted out. "Run away from the truth!" Then, she looked and saw everyone staring at her. "Okay people!" Daphine yelled out. "Show's over! As you were!" Then, everyone went back to eating. The nurse just gracefully finished the colonel's lunch.
Everywhere Mustang went for the rest of the day, everyone talked, stared, and whispered about him. When, the colonel glared at them, the people acted like they were doing something else. His male subordinates looked on him with great pity in their eyes. They all wanted to see something to him, but they all knew better than that. They might all set off the anger monster within him. The nurses and Tawny weren't helping the situation with their little comments about his short-comings. Renee's comments were like a constant hard hit on the back with a leaf branch from one's annoying cousin following them around. It took all of his self-control not to try and murder his colleague. For the rest of the day, Hawkeye's eyes seemed to always be apologizing to him. "This is all your fault, you stupid bitch!" he wanted to yelled out to her. But what good would that do? They both knew that he was just as guilty as she was for this break-up. Maybe, this was his punishment for being a lousy boyfriend to her. But did it all have to be this harsh?
The colonel all found work to be difficult to focus on today. Most of the papers were until signed and he disconnected his phone to avoid anymore crank calls from the nurses. He even locked his door to keep from having more "visitors" came by and say they felt sorry for him. By evening, he decided to quit for the day and head out to the bar. He needed something to keep from topping himself. The man was heading a major headache from all of this stress and torture. Now, he was on his forth glass of vodka.
Present after a couple of hours
The bar-tender looked at the colonel closely. "Sir," he spoke up. "I think you should go home now, I'm about to close up." Mustang looked up at him with blood-shot eyes and laughed aloud. "Home?" he asked drunkenly. "Why? So I can hic go back and by mortared by some idiots, witches, and slutty tarts? My girl just dumped me for such other guy that seems to have hic a bigger hic penis than me! Hic Now, that's a laugh!" Then, Roy passed on the bar. The tender became nervous. He looked around quickly. "Uh...." the tender said aloud. "Can call a cab for him with I try to get him out of here?" Oh well, poor Roy! Maybe tomorrow well be better. Maybe!
Next Night
Next Time: Due to an act of clumsiness, Madeline becomes Dr. James' victim of bullying. Will Daniel be a man and fight for her?
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