FicWad

Warning: Willow babbles. Also, mature themes, and this story contains language.

Pairing: this part, X/W friendship, mentions of X/Anya, X/W Fluking, D/X crushing, F/X, W/T, W/K, and the possibility of X/W/K. Eventually, X/W and others, possibly X/W/B (or X/w/b).

Timeline: Post-Chosen

Disclaimer: I'm broke. If I owned BtVS, I wouldn't be (and I'd treat them better).

With thanks to AlanP, my prereader.

(Yes, I know I named the hotel after a brand of Scotch.)

Prologue:

Former Crown Royal Hotel,
Cleveland, Ohio
Headquarters of Harris Enterprises, Harris Construction,
Star Technologies - A Harris Enterprises Company, and
Summers Security Services - A Harris Enterprises Company.

Saturday, June 14th, 2003

Xander's Suite

One of the advantages of turning a hotel into an office building was being able to live there, an important consideration when emergencies can hit in the middle of the night. Of course, since the Cleveland Hellmouth was in a near dormant phase, and the next big prophecy wasn't happening until November, this wasn't a serious problem.

Xander was already awake when Willow knocked on his door that morning.

"Hi Wills," he said, stepping back from the door to let her in. This kind of non-verbal invitation was force of habit from Sunnydale, and was probably unnecessary in the Scooby Gang's mystically vampire-proof HQ, but still a habit that no-one tried to drop.

"Hey, Xander. I have a bunch of things I want to say, but first the really good news," said Willow, settling down on the couch. "Remember when Anya told us about Valhalla, and she thought Buffy must have gone there when she died, 'cause that's where heroes go, and we did that spell to find out, and she wasn't, and so we thought Buffy was in hell?" She barely paused for breath, much less a response, before pressing on. "Well, I cast that spell this morning, and Anya's there! She's a hero, she made it!" and then Willow was enveloped in a hug from her oldest friend, as he cried joyful tears and thanked her.

"You're welcome, Xander," she said as he calmed down, and they both wiped tears from their eyes. "You're always welcome, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, Will, I do," he said.

"I'm really sorry I didn't think of it sooner, I shouldn't have let myself get wrapped up in other stuff like that."

"You have your own life Wills, I know that."

"But you're part of my life Xand, a really important part! A-and I don't ever want to lose that, but I've been pushing you away since twelfth grade," she said, starting to cry again.

He just held her, occasionally making comforting noises, until she'd cried herself out again.

"S-sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't do this to you."

"It's OK, Wills, you needed it," he said. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Um, water, please, crying is thirsty work."

The apartment was quiet as Xander went into the kitchen, coming back with two bottles of water, and handing her one. They were silent while she drank about half the bottle.

"So, you said you had a lot to say. Shoot."

"Okay, but I really haven't organized my thoughts, 'cause I wanted to tell you about Anya as soon as I could, so I'm just gonna go with stream-of-consciousness, and the main themes are gonna be 'Thank You' and 'I'm Sorry'."

"OK," he said, a little surprised, as today was the first time Willow had thanked or apologized to him in ... was it really that long?

"The really big one is 'Thank you for stopping me from destroying the world,' and I'm totally sorry that I didn't say it sooner, like right when I got back from England. Um, did I ever tell you about the Threefold Law?"

"Eh, no, but I think Tara tried to once. Ahn was... distracting me."

"OK, its 'Good or Evil that you do, will come Threefold back to you.' So, whatever you do with magic, you get back three times better or worse. I mean, just counting the humans, that's over six billion murders, which means 18 billion agonizing deaths, and that's just the humans, not everyone else, and not counting that its multiple counts of Genocide! There are not enough thank-yous in the world to tell you how grateful I am that you stopped me!"

"I'm pretty happy about it too, Will."

"I mean it, Xander," she said, "I'm yours, forever."

"...and I'm yours Willow, we're friends forever."

Willow got the feeling Xander didn't know just how literally she meant 'I'm yours,' but decided that explanation, at least, could wait.

"Oh, ah, the Fluke! We, we both cheated, we both liked it, a lot, and you took the fall for it, and you pretended we didn't go past second base, you even told Faith you were a first timer, and I know how that's a really big thing for a guy. A-anyway, I'm sorry I let you, but thanks for doing that. Oh, and she didn't believe you, by the way, Faith, I mean. She thought Buffy did it, or Kendra before she died, because you 'really know how to please a Slayer,' s-she told me."

"A Slayer's a woman, Will, you know that."

"Oh boy, do I!" she exclaimed. "I mean, Kennedy was wild before, but wow! Um, but, speaking of Kennedy, you saved her, and I know you would have done it for anyone, and I really wish you hadn't lost an eye doing it, but thank you very much for my girlfriend's life. I know her dad already thanked you, with giving you the hotel and the real-estate, and the loan to start Harris Enterprises, oh and thank you for the startup capital for Star Tech..."

"Will, breathe, I'm not going to disappear."

"Um, okay, back to the post-Fluke thing - I'm really, really sorry that I pushed you away, no matter what I said back then, there's no excuse for how I treated you. I was a bad, abusive friend for years, and it stops now!"

"You weren't abusive, Wills, I know what abuse feels like."

By a great effort of will, the redhead didn't cry this time. "...and I'm sorry I didn't try harder to get you to move in with me when we were younger."

"Yeah, that would have gone over well," he said.

"Actually, I asked my dad about it after my bat mitzvah, and he said it was okay, as long as your parents didn't complain. Oh and Mom said something psychobabble-y about 'deconstructing traditional families,' I think (or is that what she said when I brought Tara home?). You probably could have slept with me, and they wouldn't have said anything unless we got to loud at night."

They paused a while, to let that nostalgically pleasant thought run its course.

"Um, what else? Oh, I think I'd better warn you, Dawn found a site online that lists the ages of consent all over the world, and its sixteen in Ohio and in the U. K."

"Buffy's gonna kill me soon, isn't she?" he said after a moment.

"No, Xand, I made her promise not to make her move until she made sure Buffy wouldn't hurt you over it."

"So, I've got 'til Dawn's around thirty, then?"

"I'd give her a month, at most," said Willow, mischievously. "Oh, speaking of ages, you were right about Kennedy, her father wanted my help to plan her eighteenth birthday party next week," she said, handing him the agreed-upon sawbuck.

"Thank you, you little cradle-robber," he grinned.

"I didn't steal her, she followed me home," she said. "Oh, remember when Gnarl ate some of my skin, and Buffy gave me her energy for the spell to make it grow back faster? Well, skin is an organ, and an eye is an organ, its just smaller and more complex, so I thought maybe, and I called Rhiannon at the coven, 'cause she's the best at healing stuff, and she said it would work, but not near a Hellmouth, we'd have to go someplace with lots of Life-Magic, like the coven's Sacred Grove, and we'd need to draw on someone with lots of power, and Dawn, Faith, and Kennedy volunteered..."

"Willow, slow down," said Xander. "You're saying you can make my eye grow back?"

"Yes, definitely, just not here," she said confidently. "This isn't something I'm going to risk making a mistake on. That's part of why we need to go to England, Rhiannon wants to examine you herself, to help with details like how long it will take, and how much power we'll need." (...and to see how bad your battle fatigue is,) she didn't say. It hurt now, not telling him everything, but she had to know how far gone he was. She already knew she wasn't
fully recovered, yet, though she didn't know how far she had to go. "Oh, about the company, a couple of cyber-witches joined the coven a few months ago, and they set up a T1 line, so we can run things online, and we have good people to handle the day-to-day stuff, and Robin and the girls can handle the slaying and Triple S."

"What about Buffy?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't get a chance to ask her last night, but I think she'll agree to help, our trip to Disneyland really wasn't enough of a vacation," said Willow. "Besides, it was mostly her fault that you lost an eye in the first place."

"Does she know that?"

'Ouch!' thought Willow, 'but he's right.' "I'm sure that once we get her thinking about it she'll figure it out, you know she doesn't like to think-"

"At all?" interrupted Xander.

"Um, we're going to have to get her into the habit of doing that again," said Willow.

"Again?"

"Hey, she got 1430 on her SATs, thats better than I got."

"You didn't test well back then, but you've got a point, she's a fool, not an idiot."

"Tara wanted kids," said Willow, desperately changing the subject.

"Huh?"

"Tara wanted kids," she repeated. "We talked about it, both before we broke up, and after we got back together. We were going to ask you to be the father. Um, and not just a sperm donor, but really the father. The day she d-died, we were gonna ask you that night."

"Oh," said Xander. There really wasn't much more he could say at that point.

"Kennedy's okay with it," she said. "With me having your baby, I mean. She just wants to be there."

"Um, when you say 'be there'..."

"Of course," said Willow, "you don't have to decide right away, 'cause, its a-a big decision, becoming a father, and you should think about it, and-"

"Willow!" said Xander.

"Huh, yes?"

"When you say 'be there', what do you mean?"

"Oh, ah, at least when the baby's born, a-and maybe conceived, too," she said. "I-if you don't mind, I've decided I'd like to go with, um, natural insemination, instead of artificial. Tara h-hadn't decided yet when she died, 'cause both seemed kinda creepy to her, and she wasn't sure which was worse, a-and of course, Kennedy's not ready to be a mom yet at all, but she agrees that you're the best choice for a dad."

"You want to... ah, wait, you, me and Kennedy?!"

"Maybe, if you don't mind."

"Mind? No, not minding at all, just kinda shocked."

"W-well, like I said, no rush, just something to think about."

"Oh, don't worry, Wills," he chuckled nervously, "I'm gonna be thinking about it."

"Okay, good," she said. "Now there's some more things I need to say. I'm sorry for taking advantage of you that night in the factory."

"Huh?" grunted Xander, "Which factory?"

"When Spike kidnapped us, and knocked you out. Remember, I asked you if you needed to barf, and then stuck my tongue down your throat ... which sounds really gross when I say it that way."

"You're apologising for that?!"

"Yes, I am. E-even if you're not mad about it, I still probably shouldn't have done that," she said.

"Wills, we both thought we were gonna die."

"You're not gonna agree with me are you?" asked Willow.

"No, Wills, I'm not," he replied.

"Well," said Willow, "I'm really glad you don't think I was taking advantage of you, especially 'cause..."

"'Cause what, Wills?" asked Xander.

"Do you remember my fifteenth birthday?"

"Um, yeah, your parents weren't home, so Jesse, Amy, Jonothan and I came over to give you a surprise party. Why?"

"Y-you remember the rope I had?"

"Yeah," said Xander, having a bad feeling that he knew exactly where this was going.

"I-if you'd come five minutes later, I would have been hanging from it. My parents hadn't even bothered to call, they didn't even remember that it was my birthday, but you did, a-and I know you bought the cake, I asked Amy. So, thank you for saving me from myself back then, and
for being the best, most loyal friend a girl could have. I love you, Xander."

"I love you too, Willow, always," he replied.

End Prologue.