FicWad

Karen! I'd forgotten Karen. Shit...Layla would yell at me for hours. I crawled out of the bed, adjusting the blanket after me. I went out into the chilly living room, shutting the forgotten window. Took my keys and coat on the way out of the apartment, and drove back to the hotel. The radio blabbered something about the winter being on it's way to us now. I turned it off with irritation. A glance at the clock told me it was pointing at five forty. If I was lucky Karen wouldn't even notice I had been gone for three hours. I was getting stressed because it felt like I needed to talk to Ayah, or as if he needed to talk to me. I didn't want him to stab me with those knives the next time I saw him again. I didn't know what I'd done, why he was like that. Was it the drugs? But he looked sober to me. I was thinking too much and it was driving me insane. I knew the stress would only get worse through the day because today I had to work and dine with this guy from the record company whom I'd forgotten the name of and really didn't care about. It would take the whole day.
I opened the door carefully trying not to make it creak, even though it did. Karen moved in her sleep and then woke up, sitting, rubbing her still make-upped face (she was clearly too embaressed to wash it off). Women were truly strange. "Where were you...?"
"Out um for..." Why didn't I smoke?! I didn't know what to say, my brain was shut off. "Buying...candy." I wanted to bang my head on the wall for probably being the worst liar to ever exist. And at the same time I wanted to laugh.
"Oh..." She flopped down on the bed again, not questioning further about my wierd habits. At least she had something to brag about to her friends now: that she'd slept in the same room as me and that I went out for peculiar trips in the middle of the night just to buy candy. It was strange though, how she didn't get suspicious. Maybe she just didn't care, even though my ego didn't let that thought occur to me just then.
I went and took a shower because I knew this night would be sleepless.

The day went pretty much as I'd expected it to. I recorded some new songs, not feeling like it at all because that feeling was creeping over me again, that feeling of restlessness, the one that made me tighten the muscles of my stomach. And because it didn't go well, so we decided to stop for today. Layla made me promise that I'd get better tomorrow.
It turned out the dinner with the record company guy had been canceled, which relieved me , though I had to pretend I was very annoyed. Layla knew me too well to buy it.
"You really didn't wanna meet him, did you?"
I couldn't suppress the laughter anymore. "No...I mean, I lose my apetite seeing someone as ugly as him."
She laughed. She liked this kind of humor, and it suited her.
And finally, the day was over. I closed my eyes, standing outside the hotel just before entering my car. The snow was winding down, but I was standing under the shelter in front of the hotel. I remembered I'd forgotten to call Ayah, but he'd probably understand, wouldn't he? He was waiting for me at home now, I thought to myself. He was waiting with Nine Inch Nails on, singing along with the sorrowful lyrics and thinking morbid thoughts, because morbid thoughts suited his image, I thought. But I didn't really know if he thought morbid thoughts. I couldn't remember what else he liked to do. He didn't play video games or chat on the computer, and he didn't play any instrument as far as I knew. What did he do really? What did he do when I wasn't there? It worried me, even though I had never worried about it before. I drove back fast, the feeling eating on me.
I opened the door, slamming it shut behind me as if to report that I was back so he'd come out with his bare feet and at least look at me. No lamps on, it was pitch-black, and the black was that sort of black that wanted to swallow me. I called for him but recieved only silence. Not there...?