FicWad

It just couldn't be, you know...? It just flat-out couldn't be true. It had never happened before, and it never should have happened. EVER. I just couldn't conceive that one day, someone I loved would die. It was... Unthinkable.
But here I was, at a funeral.
My cousin, Alex, the on I was closest to, had died.

That guy was... EVERYTHING to me! I mean, when I would be alone on my birthdays(which happened more often than you'd think), he'd be the one to come to the movies with me. And when that bitch of a girl I used to call a friend dumped me the day before our super huge party, Alex was my pick-me-up, and we spent the night eating ice-cream.

None of that anymore.
He was dead. Gone. Kaput. No more heartfelt discussions. No more ice cream frenzies. No more late-night movie sessions. No more endless phone conversations.
No more cousin.

"Fye, calm down, it's not your fau-" my brother tried, and I really regret my reaction, since he WAS being completely nice to me for once.

"I don't CARE!" I sobbed, prying myself aways from his 'comforting' hand. "He's the only one who was there for me when I NEEDED someone around! Not like you!" I cried, running out of the church. I just couldn't take it anymore.

It couldn't have been real. We were just walking down the street. Nothing big, y'know? And then I just heard the car tires screech. I knew he wasn't dead. No, in fact, he waited until I dragged him away from the sidewalk, onto a random lawn, to die.

"You're a fighter, right? Guess you'll have to fight for me too. So lay off the ice cream for a while, you're gonna get fat..." were his last words. Yeah, sure, they sound funny, but when they're someone's LAST words...
Not all that funny anymore.

"You alright..?" I heard behind me, though I didn't even bother to turn around.

It felt nice, under the rain. It was cold, but I loved it like that. It's not as bad as a freezing shower. I should know I tried that once to see if the feeling was the same. It only gave me a major brain freeze.
My black(like always) clothes clung to my skin; I didn't care, I liked the feeling. I didn't want to feel warm. I felt cold. I wanted to feel cold.

"...As alright as I can get after my life support just died on me." I said dryly, crossing my arms to stop a shiver from running across my body. Attempt at that FAILED. Miserably.

"You should come inside, it's warm-"
"I don't care. I just don't care. I don't WANT to be warm. I'm not. I just want to be alone..."I choked a sob, feeling to strong arms wrapping themselves around me.

No matter what I'd say, I needed those arms. I needed that voice. Now more than ever.
Gerard had become the one I fully depended on.
He was my life support.


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Three Months Later
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"...Happy birthday, dude. Sorry, forgot the ice cream at home..." I laughed grimly, gently letting the flower drop on the tombstone. My fingers traced the letters almost automatically; Alexander Belmont. Yeah, that's my cousin..!

"...Fye!" I heard behind me again, though turning around this time. It was about three in the morning; around the time Alex was born. I was the only who had thought about his birthday at this hour, it seems.

Along with Gerard.

"What are you doing here?" I laughed lightly, looking at the bouquet of black and red roses. "I didn't think you'd even remember his name..." I chuckled, marvelling at the roses. "He's be telling you you're a jackass for throwing your money out the window like that, you know."

"Who gives a fuck? Not like he could've done anything about it anyways." He snickered, depositing his flowers beside mine. A bouquet of carnations with white and red roses. Why white and red..?
For the time he spat blood on the snow... Heh, he tripped on the ice and ran off, spitting blood everywhere. I freaked at the time, but I actually and it funny now.

"Ooh, that reminds me, I have a job interview today." I said, with a smirk.
"...What job IS it?"
"Advisor in the boxing department at Sports Experts." I laughed, turning back at the grave to drop a quick kiss on it. "Be back later, dude." I whispered, before latching onto Gerard's arm an walking off.
"Why am I NOT surprised..?"
"Because you love me? EVERYONE does."
"...Sure, yeah, let's go with that."

~~~~~~~~~*~

"...Ray, you don't sniff them, you don't drink them, you don't throw them, you don't fuck them, you EAT them." I sighed for the umpteenth time, fiddling with something in my mouth.

A yummy treat-like something called POCKY.
DAMN those guys are so.. Uncultivated. I think Bob never even heard a single word Japanese. Or Chinese. I think he didn't even know we had a Chinatown in New-Jersey before I told him. Jeez, the only guy who stepped up to the plate was, surprisingly enough, Mikey.

"You, sometimes, I swear they-"
"Were raised in the darkest of caves, I know." We both laughed, though I got a punch in the arm anonymously. "...Okay, who's the jackass who did that..?" I growled, smirking deeeviously.

And everyone pointed Frank.

"I love you?"
"You love Jamia, hypocrite..!" I laughed, throwing myself on the puny going, who really IS that puny, since he IS smaller than me.
Ha.
IN YOUR FACE.

"Don't kill me!!" He cried in mock pain and horror, which made me freeze for a second, a very troubling image flowing back through my mind.

"GET. OFF. ME." I growled, not at all enjoying his chapped lips kissing my neck.
"Why would I do that..?" He muttered against my neck, his kisses going dangerously fast towards my chest.

"S-sorry." I muttered, jumping back to my feet and slumping down on the couch beside the one frank was on. "...What?" I grumbled, noticing the guys were all looking at me. Even Jamia, who had barged in along with Frank a few minutes ago.

Then my phone, rang. I saw Mikey from the corner of my eye. I knew he wanted me to explain.

"Uh... My battery's dead, it won't last the call, I'll just call from your phone." I said lightly, ushering myself to the kitchen, Mikey eclipsing himself as well.

"So, what's wrong?" He asked, leaning back on the counter. DAMN. Does he always have to play the role of the younger-brother-who-always-knows-what's-wrong-with-his-brother's-girlfriend?! It's not that it's ANNOYING, really...
No, scratch that.
It IS annoying.

"I just can't fight anymore since the thing with Anton..." I shrugged, crossing my arms. "I know what it feels like to be hurt and stuck in a corner. It just brings back bad memories."

"You'll have to get over it eventually." He shrugged as well, taping a few steps forward and reaching behind me, to the fridge, pulling out a pot of ice-cream. How ironic.
"Want some?"

"I will GLADLY oblige." I muttered, just grabbing a spoon, stealing the tub from Mikey, jumping up on the counter where Mikey was leaning on, and started eating the stuff like my life depended on it. To hell with laying off the ice cream! Alex would have to wait a while before he'd see the day with an anti-ice cream Fye.

"Comfort food much?" Mikey laughed, trying(IN VAIN) to snatch the tub from me. But I growled and held it closer to me.

"MY. Comfort food. Yes. It is."