Categories > Celebrities > Aerosmith > Shattered Trust
They had announced the tour was canceled. His throat was to blame. A blood vessel had popped and it had to be fixed. Worse of all it was experimental surgery and a film crew would be taking it all in. He knew that if it didn’t work, he could show the fans around the world that he tried. They were going to save this for posterity any way it went it would be shown.
Still he was scared: Maybe he would be the same, maybe just a pale version of what he once was, or he would be a mute for the rest of his life. He didn’t bother going to the message boards, he knew what they were saying. They weren’t happy with him…fuck if they only knew what he’d been through.
As if he wasn’t depressed enough, in three days he would be fifty-eight. Fifty-eight years old. He reflected on just how much he took for granted, like being able to sing. He never envisioned a time when he could never ever sing again.
Then there was the pain of being alone. He’d loved and lost all of them because he took them for granted. It was easy to say he’d lost Bebe and Cyrinda because of drugs. It was easy to throw that excuse around instead of taking the blame. Teresa he knew was bored with his bullshit, and all that shit with Joe. Joe was a completely different pain-he could have tried to patch things up as the years went by, he could have tried to sneak around, but then he had Joey.
His mind went to his dear sweet Joey baby. He took him for granted, not thinking of his feelings. They still hadn’t had the make up sex he craved. He knew if he got him in the sack he could win him back. At this point he didn’t care if it was in a bed, or on a kitchen table, or on a floor. He had to get him back.
Joey said he’d forgiven him, but he wasn’t sure. He was treating him differently that was for sure. The most they had done was hold hands and he talked. He talked about going to India with April, and maybe opening a skate shop, shit like that, nothing about them or their future.
Now he was in his large house, alone. His kids were off to see his sister-they would be back in time for his dreaded surgery; his help came and went. The doorbell interrupted his thoughts. He opened and saw Joey and motioned for him to come in.
“I was gonna call, but I didn’t think you’d mind me stopping by.” He said as he removed his coat.
Steven shook his head and smiled at him. He motioned for him to sit down. “Thanks, so how are you?”
He shrugged then he grabbed his notebook. He purposely gotten a new one, he burned the old one, the one with the damaging information in it. I’m having second thoughts about this surgery. I was hoping that if I didn’t make any sounds the blood vessel would heal on its own, but it didn’t.
“But you have to. You have to go through with this.”
Steven knew he was right. It was his only chance, but he felt his shoulders sink in despair.
“I’m sure they know what they’re doing.” Joey reassured him. “They aren’t gonna do something terrible to you.”
“This is my voice.” Steven said in a cruel murmur. “This is it Joey. I can’t speak any louder than this and to hell with singing. What if I don’t speak any better than this?”
“It’ll work. You’ll be back better than ever.” He clasped his hands, “And thanks for the carpet. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to, sorry it took so long. They made it-a special order thing. I just wanted something to cover up all that blood in your guest room.”
“Still, it was very considerate of you, April just loves it. Goes perfectly in that room.”
He was relived when Steven picked up the pen again, he didn’t know if his ears could pick up on anymore of what he was saying.
Joe and I are all ready booked for the Boston Pops Fourth of July celebration. What if I can’t do it? What if I make a fool of myself on national TV?
“You’ll have plenty of time to recover. July is months away.”
I’m having foot surgery too. They’re taking off my little toe and breaking the rest of my foot to get me to walk right again. Figured, might as well since I’m down anyway.
“Yeah you gotta get that fixed. The last thing you want to go through is a hip replacement.”
Steven gave a slow nod. “Yeah. Fucking hell to get old.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be talking, maybe you should keep writing-”
“This might be the last time you hear my voice.”
“April saw something in the papers,” Joey began slowly, it wasn’t a great conversation changer, but he wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth, “That you’re dating Erin Brady.”
Steven felt himself swallowing hard. “Yeah, well we’ve gone out a couple of times. That’s it. I was gonna say something but I didn’t know how.” He was going to tell him, but after the whole fucking mess with Jesse, he didn’t have the guts. “I’m sorry, you deserved to find out from me. But she’s nothing-nothing like you are. She’s just someone to have dinner with.”
“You fucked her yet?” He asked point blank.
Steven shook his head.
“Yeah right.” Joey snorted. “It’s OK, I mean I knew you’d fine someone. I’m surprised though, she not a blond. Decided to try a different model this time around, huh.”
Steven shrugged. “She’s very nice. She’s very smart and beautiful.”
“Yeah she is.”
“I’ll tell her that I’m with someone else, if that’s what you want. I’ll give her up for you-”
“No, Let’s just forget it.” Joey pulled out a little black jewelry bag from his pocket and handed it to him. “Happy birthday, Steven.”
He smiled as he took it from him; it was a five-chained bracelet, made with little silver skulls, “Thank you. I love it.” After he put it on, he knew he shouldn’t ask, but it was driving him crazy. “Why don’t you call me ‘darling’ anymore?” He could count on one hand how many times he’d called him that since their fight. Before the fight, it was constant-he’d call him that in front of damn near anyone.
Joey frowned, “You don’t call me ‘Thumper’ anymore.”
“You never liked it.” He started calling him ‘Joey baby’ after he’d done kisses on him. It just came out.
“I love you. That’s all that matters.”
“I love you too.” Steven leaned back and sighed. He put his hand on Joey’s. “I’m all alone.”
Joey bristled a bit. “I don’t think we should until you’re feeling better.”
“You’d make me feel better. I know you would.”
“Steven, I know that you have to conserve your strength.”
He began to write-he knew if he spoke this, he would shout and lose what voice he had left. I love you, Joey, my dear sweet Joey. You are the reason why I keep going on, but I don’t understand. I can make love with you. I’m not an invalid. Why don’t you want to love me? Is it because of Erin? Like I said, I’ll throw her away if you want, but I have to know that you STILL LOVE ME and WILL MAKE MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO ME.
“I love you, but I’m not breaking up your life. I’m OK with Erin.” Joey handed him back the notebook. “But I have to take this easy, too. I don’t want to get my heart crushed again.”
“You forgave me.”
“I know, but I don’t know if I can trust you again.”
“You can. Joey I am so sorry about what happened. I’m a fool.” He moved closer.
“I want to know how this happened with Jesse.”
Steven thought about writing, but no, he had to say it. “I sent a message to him, like I said I wanted to tell him how much we appreciated him.
“He came in and I was sitting on the computer. He sat down and I was mouthing what I wanted to say. He couldn’t pick up what I was saying, so I put my hand here,” Steven put his hand on Joey’s thigh, “And said it again.
“His face turned red, and I thought I had embarrassed him by telling him how good he was, but he glanced down and so did I and saw he was aroused.” He stopped and looked into his eyes, “He said he was sorry, and asked if he could use my bathroom to take care of it, and I asked if he was like his dad. Of course he couldn’t understand, so I had to write it.”
“Did you kiss him?”
“No. That never happened. You were right: I didn’t think of you, I was hyped up cause I got him hot by just touching his leg. I took him out and started on him, and he changed, he was like a groupie. In a way that was good-I knew this was just a one-time thing.
“Afterwards, when he was done-fuck then it hit me. The fucking guilt was the only thing on my mind. That’s when I told him not to tell you and he said he wouldn’t.” He blinked back his tears, “I am so sorry Joey. I didn’t think to rip out the page or toss the rubber somewhere else. He left and I got on those message boards.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“What about us?” Steven inched closer to him moving his hand to his chest. “Whatever you wanna do to me, I’ll take it. Golden showers, scat, whatever, treat me like dirt-treat me like the fucking son of a bitch I am.”
“I never really got into that stuff.”
“I got some leather,” Steven licked his full lips, still trying his best to turn him on to get him to make love to him, “Latex, lace. I got all kinds of bondage outfits. Whatever you want Joey baby.”
“I really should be going.”
“Why?”
“I told April I’d only be a minute.”
“She won’t be surprised when you’re late.”
“But I was just dropping off your present and, uh-” He stared at him not finishing his thought. He was lost in this moment. He had forgotten the anger and bitter disappointment in him.
Steven stared back. He looked deeply into those beautiful blue eyes. His hand slowly moved to his neck. He leaned into a kiss.
Joey ran his hands over his back then kept them around his waist. He broke away from Steven. “Are you really alone?”
Steven nodded, “Please stay. I’m so scared, Joey. Please don’t leave me. I don’t care what you wanna do. Just lie beside me on the bed, like when I was sick. Just don’t leave me alone, I need you so bad Joey baby.” His other hand rubbed at Joey’s inner thigh. He looked down and saw the drummer’s erection.
That was a promising sight.
“Will you stay here,” Steven prodded at him, “Please?”
“I didn’t bring anything.”
“I got everything you need,” He kissed him again, “Upstairs.”
Joey just smiled at him then he gave a nod. Steven bolted off the couch and started up the stairs. He followed him to the master bedroom. “Doesn’t this seem weird?”
“What?”
He sighed. He was about to fuck him on the same bed that he fucked Teresa on. It just seemed wrong. “Never mind.”
Steven opened the door and pulled Joey in. His lips were planted on his, both kissed feverishly. Steven broke away, and walked to the armoire. He opened it to reveal a S&M dream. “I got everything. What do you want?” He pulled out a black riding crop.
Joey was taken aback. He knew Steven was kinky, but this, this was incredible. He walked over, and took a better look. Whips, chains, gag balls, plugs, handcuffs, sex toys lined the floor; his eyes moved to the array of ‘clothing’ latex, leather and lace. “You really wear this shit?”
“Not for long.” He smiled then cracked the crop across his own thigh, letting out a low moan.
Joey knew that this is what he wanted, and if he said, ‘Why not just do what we do?’ he’d be disappointed. “So do you really like,” He started as he rummaged through the bizarre wardrobe, “Scat and showers?”
“Teresa used to do that to me when I’d make her mad. Piss and shit on me, then I knew she was cool with me again.” He ran his hand over Joey’s, “You wanna do that to me?”
He just pulled out a random item. “No.” He looked at the garment; it was a tiny pair of black leather briefs. “This will do.”
Steven smiled. “Make yourself comfy, I’ll be right back.” He grabbed a couple of other things and hurried into the bathroom. He was giggling-he hadn’t done that in a long, long time. He was going to have Joey back! That was the greatest turn on of all. But he loved this-the leather-he was glad he picked leather. Leather was so sexy; he loved the smell, the look of leather-the feel of it on his bare skin.
Joey began to undress, he was thankful Steven didn’t have an outfit for him. He was fine with tying a lover up, and maybe some games, but nothing like this. He sat naked on the edge of the bed.
Steven appeared, dressed in thigh high leather boots, the black leather briefs and nothing else. The briefs had a hole in front-his cock was out. He tapped the riding crop in his hand. “Ready?”
Joey stood and swallowed hard, “Whoa.”
He slowly walked over to him, “I’m guessing you like.”
He ran his hand over the leather, “Yeah, yeah, it’s great.”
Steven dropped to his knees, Joey almost let out a moan of disappointment. He didn’t want a blowjob, but Steven put his head down and held the crop out. “Beat me. Just get this out of your system, beat me.”
Joey numbly looked the crop, “What?”
“Beat me. You wanted to. I know you wanted to beat me into a bloody pulp.” His head went down, “Just do it. I deserve it.”
Joey looked at the crop, then back at him. He was just waiting, waiting for him to grab it and smack him around. He couldn’t. He couldn’t strike him, maybe it was his childhood coming back to haunt him.
Steven raised his head, “This isn’t some sexual turn on, cause I know you’ll hold this against me forever and a day. Just hit me.”
“I can’t.”
“What about a belt?”
“Oh no.” Joey shook his head and sat back on the bed. “My dad used to use a belt on me. I hate beating people with belts.”
Steven tentatively put his hand on Joey’s knee. “What if I said I want this, I want you to hit me? Would that make it better? What if I said it really turns me on?”
Joey shook his head.
Steven decided to drop it. He pulled a pair of handcuffs from his back-Joey didn’t even want to know where he’d hidden them. “Let me chain you to the bedpost. You’re OK, with your shoulder being stretched like that-”
“Yeah it’s fine.” Joey looked at the post, there were countless little marks and scratches on the wood. He simply laid back and held his wrist up. He heard the snap.
“There.” Steven ran his fingertips over his chest. “I love you.”
“Darling, I love you too.”
Steven smiled. He said ‘darling’ with the same ring of love in it. He straddled over him and leaned to the nightstand. He pulled out the rubbers and lube. “You ever try a plug?” He cooed as he leaned over him, kissing his shoulder.
“Plug? What a anal thing?”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s got this bullet vibrator, hits the prostate.” He looked at him, “It’s fucking great! But if you don’t wanna, I’m cool with that.”
“OK, I’ll try it.”
“I’ll take it out of you don’t like it, but believe me, Joey baby, you’re gonna love it!” He got off of him and went back to the armoire.
He understood what Joe meant. He wouldn’t do something you didn’t want to do. He let it slide about beating him. Even with the ‘kisses’, he never pushed him-sure he’d pout for a while, but he never ever insisted on him going down. He knew that Jesse was just as much to blame as Steven was. And who wouldn’t want to have some sort of sexual encounter with him?
He returned with a bright blue plug, Joey closed his eyes as soon as he saw it. He felt Steven’s fingers, wet with lube enter into him. He gasped as he hit his prostate. He never really liked this, he always was the giver, but he did know his was around an asshole…
Then he inserted it, Joey let out a slow moan as he switched it on. He gasped as Steven knelt beside him. “So?”
“Yeah it’s good.” He groaned.
Steven smiled then he took the crop and began gently running the tip over Joey’s arm then moved it to his neck. “Oh god Joey, I love you so fucking much.”
The plug-fuck it was an incredible feeling. The riding crop, well he could do without that. It now was moved to his lips, Steven carefully moved the tip around his mouth, down his chin and down the middle of his torso. He moved hit slowly over his erection, the quickly raised it in the air and cracked himself over his thigh again. His head went back as he took a deep breath.
Then just as quickly he dropped it on the bed, his hands now went around Joey kneading him. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Those hands and fingers grasping him-kneading him, those same hands and fingers that did the same thing to his son.
He swallowed hard again. He wanted to break free from his imprisonment and push him away, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t if his hands were free. He’d forgiven him. He couldn’t go back on his word. Besides, he’d use that whole ‘You wouldn’t piss or shit or beat me, you were cool with me, or so I thought we were cool again.’ Logical shit like that.
Joey kept thinking: Jesse was a willing participant. Steven didn’t force him. It isn’t right, but it happened. It’s over. Let it go. He thought it over and over, trying to think about how much he had love this before.
Steven’s mouth now was on his. He kissed him passionately, and Joey returned it. This is the man I love. I love him-I prayed for years that he would show some sign of loving me. This is the only time in our love life where I am certain that he does truly love me and only me.
He finally forgave him-with all of heart and soul. “I need you, Darling,” He whispered, “I need you now.”
Steven silently got on top of him. Joey moaned as the pressure of his body was on top of him. He brushed his ass against his erection a few times then grabbed a different bottle. “I like this shit.” He stated then poured the lube on him.
Joey felt the cold of the gel, then it began to warm up, “Oh,” He caught his breath. “That’s good.”
He thought that he’d take the briefs off, but he didn’t. “What they got a hole?”
“Yeah, easy access.” He swallowed hard.
He watched Steven positioning himself over him. He winced as he slowly took him, bit by bit, until he was fully inside him. He began undulating, pulling at his own erection; then he began to ride on him-up and down, alternating his actions. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah.”
Steven got off long enough to wrap Joey then quickly wrapped himself. He shoved Joey back into himself and clenched his muscles. His head went back and let out a pitiful cry. He wanted to yell his head off as his orgasm hit, but he didn’t dare.
Joey pounded into him, watching his face-he knew that this was the love of his life. He was shocked that it was over with so quickly, Steven collapsed onto his body.
He loved it when he did this. Staying on top of him and keeping him inside. It was great the way he kneaded his muscles around him. His mouth was on his, fighting his tongue. He looked away long enough to unlock the handcuffs.
Joey wrapped his arms around him, noting that one of the bracelets was still around his wrist.
“Are you sure you don’t want to hit me?”
“No. I’m good.”
“Fuck yeah you are!”
Still he was scared: Maybe he would be the same, maybe just a pale version of what he once was, or he would be a mute for the rest of his life. He didn’t bother going to the message boards, he knew what they were saying. They weren’t happy with him…fuck if they only knew what he’d been through.
As if he wasn’t depressed enough, in three days he would be fifty-eight. Fifty-eight years old. He reflected on just how much he took for granted, like being able to sing. He never envisioned a time when he could never ever sing again.
Then there was the pain of being alone. He’d loved and lost all of them because he took them for granted. It was easy to say he’d lost Bebe and Cyrinda because of drugs. It was easy to throw that excuse around instead of taking the blame. Teresa he knew was bored with his bullshit, and all that shit with Joe. Joe was a completely different pain-he could have tried to patch things up as the years went by, he could have tried to sneak around, but then he had Joey.
His mind went to his dear sweet Joey baby. He took him for granted, not thinking of his feelings. They still hadn’t had the make up sex he craved. He knew if he got him in the sack he could win him back. At this point he didn’t care if it was in a bed, or on a kitchen table, or on a floor. He had to get him back.
Joey said he’d forgiven him, but he wasn’t sure. He was treating him differently that was for sure. The most they had done was hold hands and he talked. He talked about going to India with April, and maybe opening a skate shop, shit like that, nothing about them or their future.
Now he was in his large house, alone. His kids were off to see his sister-they would be back in time for his dreaded surgery; his help came and went. The doorbell interrupted his thoughts. He opened and saw Joey and motioned for him to come in.
“I was gonna call, but I didn’t think you’d mind me stopping by.” He said as he removed his coat.
Steven shook his head and smiled at him. He motioned for him to sit down. “Thanks, so how are you?”
He shrugged then he grabbed his notebook. He purposely gotten a new one, he burned the old one, the one with the damaging information in it. I’m having second thoughts about this surgery. I was hoping that if I didn’t make any sounds the blood vessel would heal on its own, but it didn’t.
“But you have to. You have to go through with this.”
Steven knew he was right. It was his only chance, but he felt his shoulders sink in despair.
“I’m sure they know what they’re doing.” Joey reassured him. “They aren’t gonna do something terrible to you.”
“This is my voice.” Steven said in a cruel murmur. “This is it Joey. I can’t speak any louder than this and to hell with singing. What if I don’t speak any better than this?”
“It’ll work. You’ll be back better than ever.” He clasped his hands, “And thanks for the carpet. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to, sorry it took so long. They made it-a special order thing. I just wanted something to cover up all that blood in your guest room.”
“Still, it was very considerate of you, April just loves it. Goes perfectly in that room.”
He was relived when Steven picked up the pen again, he didn’t know if his ears could pick up on anymore of what he was saying.
Joe and I are all ready booked for the Boston Pops Fourth of July celebration. What if I can’t do it? What if I make a fool of myself on national TV?
“You’ll have plenty of time to recover. July is months away.”
I’m having foot surgery too. They’re taking off my little toe and breaking the rest of my foot to get me to walk right again. Figured, might as well since I’m down anyway.
“Yeah you gotta get that fixed. The last thing you want to go through is a hip replacement.”
Steven gave a slow nod. “Yeah. Fucking hell to get old.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be talking, maybe you should keep writing-”
“This might be the last time you hear my voice.”
“April saw something in the papers,” Joey began slowly, it wasn’t a great conversation changer, but he wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth, “That you’re dating Erin Brady.”
Steven felt himself swallowing hard. “Yeah, well we’ve gone out a couple of times. That’s it. I was gonna say something but I didn’t know how.” He was going to tell him, but after the whole fucking mess with Jesse, he didn’t have the guts. “I’m sorry, you deserved to find out from me. But she’s nothing-nothing like you are. She’s just someone to have dinner with.”
“You fucked her yet?” He asked point blank.
Steven shook his head.
“Yeah right.” Joey snorted. “It’s OK, I mean I knew you’d fine someone. I’m surprised though, she not a blond. Decided to try a different model this time around, huh.”
Steven shrugged. “She’s very nice. She’s very smart and beautiful.”
“Yeah she is.”
“I’ll tell her that I’m with someone else, if that’s what you want. I’ll give her up for you-”
“No, Let’s just forget it.” Joey pulled out a little black jewelry bag from his pocket and handed it to him. “Happy birthday, Steven.”
He smiled as he took it from him; it was a five-chained bracelet, made with little silver skulls, “Thank you. I love it.” After he put it on, he knew he shouldn’t ask, but it was driving him crazy. “Why don’t you call me ‘darling’ anymore?” He could count on one hand how many times he’d called him that since their fight. Before the fight, it was constant-he’d call him that in front of damn near anyone.
Joey frowned, “You don’t call me ‘Thumper’ anymore.”
“You never liked it.” He started calling him ‘Joey baby’ after he’d done kisses on him. It just came out.
“I love you. That’s all that matters.”
“I love you too.” Steven leaned back and sighed. He put his hand on Joey’s. “I’m all alone.”
Joey bristled a bit. “I don’t think we should until you’re feeling better.”
“You’d make me feel better. I know you would.”
“Steven, I know that you have to conserve your strength.”
He began to write-he knew if he spoke this, he would shout and lose what voice he had left. I love you, Joey, my dear sweet Joey. You are the reason why I keep going on, but I don’t understand. I can make love with you. I’m not an invalid. Why don’t you want to love me? Is it because of Erin? Like I said, I’ll throw her away if you want, but I have to know that you STILL LOVE ME and WILL MAKE MAD PASSIONATE LOVE TO ME.
“I love you, but I’m not breaking up your life. I’m OK with Erin.” Joey handed him back the notebook. “But I have to take this easy, too. I don’t want to get my heart crushed again.”
“You forgave me.”
“I know, but I don’t know if I can trust you again.”
“You can. Joey I am so sorry about what happened. I’m a fool.” He moved closer.
“I want to know how this happened with Jesse.”
Steven thought about writing, but no, he had to say it. “I sent a message to him, like I said I wanted to tell him how much we appreciated him.
“He came in and I was sitting on the computer. He sat down and I was mouthing what I wanted to say. He couldn’t pick up what I was saying, so I put my hand here,” Steven put his hand on Joey’s thigh, “And said it again.
“His face turned red, and I thought I had embarrassed him by telling him how good he was, but he glanced down and so did I and saw he was aroused.” He stopped and looked into his eyes, “He said he was sorry, and asked if he could use my bathroom to take care of it, and I asked if he was like his dad. Of course he couldn’t understand, so I had to write it.”
“Did you kiss him?”
“No. That never happened. You were right: I didn’t think of you, I was hyped up cause I got him hot by just touching his leg. I took him out and started on him, and he changed, he was like a groupie. In a way that was good-I knew this was just a one-time thing.
“Afterwards, when he was done-fuck then it hit me. The fucking guilt was the only thing on my mind. That’s when I told him not to tell you and he said he wouldn’t.” He blinked back his tears, “I am so sorry Joey. I didn’t think to rip out the page or toss the rubber somewhere else. He left and I got on those message boards.”
“Thanks for telling me.”
“What about us?” Steven inched closer to him moving his hand to his chest. “Whatever you wanna do to me, I’ll take it. Golden showers, scat, whatever, treat me like dirt-treat me like the fucking son of a bitch I am.”
“I never really got into that stuff.”
“I got some leather,” Steven licked his full lips, still trying his best to turn him on to get him to make love to him, “Latex, lace. I got all kinds of bondage outfits. Whatever you want Joey baby.”
“I really should be going.”
“Why?”
“I told April I’d only be a minute.”
“She won’t be surprised when you’re late.”
“But I was just dropping off your present and, uh-” He stared at him not finishing his thought. He was lost in this moment. He had forgotten the anger and bitter disappointment in him.
Steven stared back. He looked deeply into those beautiful blue eyes. His hand slowly moved to his neck. He leaned into a kiss.
Joey ran his hands over his back then kept them around his waist. He broke away from Steven. “Are you really alone?”
Steven nodded, “Please stay. I’m so scared, Joey. Please don’t leave me. I don’t care what you wanna do. Just lie beside me on the bed, like when I was sick. Just don’t leave me alone, I need you so bad Joey baby.” His other hand rubbed at Joey’s inner thigh. He looked down and saw the drummer’s erection.
That was a promising sight.
“Will you stay here,” Steven prodded at him, “Please?”
“I didn’t bring anything.”
“I got everything you need,” He kissed him again, “Upstairs.”
Joey just smiled at him then he gave a nod. Steven bolted off the couch and started up the stairs. He followed him to the master bedroom. “Doesn’t this seem weird?”
“What?”
He sighed. He was about to fuck him on the same bed that he fucked Teresa on. It just seemed wrong. “Never mind.”
Steven opened the door and pulled Joey in. His lips were planted on his, both kissed feverishly. Steven broke away, and walked to the armoire. He opened it to reveal a S&M dream. “I got everything. What do you want?” He pulled out a black riding crop.
Joey was taken aback. He knew Steven was kinky, but this, this was incredible. He walked over, and took a better look. Whips, chains, gag balls, plugs, handcuffs, sex toys lined the floor; his eyes moved to the array of ‘clothing’ latex, leather and lace. “You really wear this shit?”
“Not for long.” He smiled then cracked the crop across his own thigh, letting out a low moan.
Joey knew that this is what he wanted, and if he said, ‘Why not just do what we do?’ he’d be disappointed. “So do you really like,” He started as he rummaged through the bizarre wardrobe, “Scat and showers?”
“Teresa used to do that to me when I’d make her mad. Piss and shit on me, then I knew she was cool with me again.” He ran his hand over Joey’s, “You wanna do that to me?”
He just pulled out a random item. “No.” He looked at the garment; it was a tiny pair of black leather briefs. “This will do.”
Steven smiled. “Make yourself comfy, I’ll be right back.” He grabbed a couple of other things and hurried into the bathroom. He was giggling-he hadn’t done that in a long, long time. He was going to have Joey back! That was the greatest turn on of all. But he loved this-the leather-he was glad he picked leather. Leather was so sexy; he loved the smell, the look of leather-the feel of it on his bare skin.
Joey began to undress, he was thankful Steven didn’t have an outfit for him. He was fine with tying a lover up, and maybe some games, but nothing like this. He sat naked on the edge of the bed.
Steven appeared, dressed in thigh high leather boots, the black leather briefs and nothing else. The briefs had a hole in front-his cock was out. He tapped the riding crop in his hand. “Ready?”
Joey stood and swallowed hard, “Whoa.”
He slowly walked over to him, “I’m guessing you like.”
He ran his hand over the leather, “Yeah, yeah, it’s great.”
Steven dropped to his knees, Joey almost let out a moan of disappointment. He didn’t want a blowjob, but Steven put his head down and held the crop out. “Beat me. Just get this out of your system, beat me.”
Joey numbly looked the crop, “What?”
“Beat me. You wanted to. I know you wanted to beat me into a bloody pulp.” His head went down, “Just do it. I deserve it.”
Joey looked at the crop, then back at him. He was just waiting, waiting for him to grab it and smack him around. He couldn’t. He couldn’t strike him, maybe it was his childhood coming back to haunt him.
Steven raised his head, “This isn’t some sexual turn on, cause I know you’ll hold this against me forever and a day. Just hit me.”
“I can’t.”
“What about a belt?”
“Oh no.” Joey shook his head and sat back on the bed. “My dad used to use a belt on me. I hate beating people with belts.”
Steven tentatively put his hand on Joey’s knee. “What if I said I want this, I want you to hit me? Would that make it better? What if I said it really turns me on?”
Joey shook his head.
Steven decided to drop it. He pulled a pair of handcuffs from his back-Joey didn’t even want to know where he’d hidden them. “Let me chain you to the bedpost. You’re OK, with your shoulder being stretched like that-”
“Yeah it’s fine.” Joey looked at the post, there were countless little marks and scratches on the wood. He simply laid back and held his wrist up. He heard the snap.
“There.” Steven ran his fingertips over his chest. “I love you.”
“Darling, I love you too.”
Steven smiled. He said ‘darling’ with the same ring of love in it. He straddled over him and leaned to the nightstand. He pulled out the rubbers and lube. “You ever try a plug?” He cooed as he leaned over him, kissing his shoulder.
“Plug? What a anal thing?”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s got this bullet vibrator, hits the prostate.” He looked at him, “It’s fucking great! But if you don’t wanna, I’m cool with that.”
“OK, I’ll try it.”
“I’ll take it out of you don’t like it, but believe me, Joey baby, you’re gonna love it!” He got off of him and went back to the armoire.
He understood what Joe meant. He wouldn’t do something you didn’t want to do. He let it slide about beating him. Even with the ‘kisses’, he never pushed him-sure he’d pout for a while, but he never ever insisted on him going down. He knew that Jesse was just as much to blame as Steven was. And who wouldn’t want to have some sort of sexual encounter with him?
He returned with a bright blue plug, Joey closed his eyes as soon as he saw it. He felt Steven’s fingers, wet with lube enter into him. He gasped as he hit his prostate. He never really liked this, he always was the giver, but he did know his was around an asshole…
Then he inserted it, Joey let out a slow moan as he switched it on. He gasped as Steven knelt beside him. “So?”
“Yeah it’s good.” He groaned.
Steven smiled then he took the crop and began gently running the tip over Joey’s arm then moved it to his neck. “Oh god Joey, I love you so fucking much.”
The plug-fuck it was an incredible feeling. The riding crop, well he could do without that. It now was moved to his lips, Steven carefully moved the tip around his mouth, down his chin and down the middle of his torso. He moved hit slowly over his erection, the quickly raised it in the air and cracked himself over his thigh again. His head went back as he took a deep breath.
Then just as quickly he dropped it on the bed, his hands now went around Joey kneading him. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Those hands and fingers grasping him-kneading him, those same hands and fingers that did the same thing to his son.
He swallowed hard again. He wanted to break free from his imprisonment and push him away, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t if his hands were free. He’d forgiven him. He couldn’t go back on his word. Besides, he’d use that whole ‘You wouldn’t piss or shit or beat me, you were cool with me, or so I thought we were cool again.’ Logical shit like that.
Joey kept thinking: Jesse was a willing participant. Steven didn’t force him. It isn’t right, but it happened. It’s over. Let it go. He thought it over and over, trying to think about how much he had love this before.
Steven’s mouth now was on his. He kissed him passionately, and Joey returned it. This is the man I love. I love him-I prayed for years that he would show some sign of loving me. This is the only time in our love life where I am certain that he does truly love me and only me.
He finally forgave him-with all of heart and soul. “I need you, Darling,” He whispered, “I need you now.”
Steven silently got on top of him. Joey moaned as the pressure of his body was on top of him. He brushed his ass against his erection a few times then grabbed a different bottle. “I like this shit.” He stated then poured the lube on him.
Joey felt the cold of the gel, then it began to warm up, “Oh,” He caught his breath. “That’s good.”
He thought that he’d take the briefs off, but he didn’t. “What they got a hole?”
“Yeah, easy access.” He swallowed hard.
He watched Steven positioning himself over him. He winced as he slowly took him, bit by bit, until he was fully inside him. He began undulating, pulling at his own erection; then he began to ride on him-up and down, alternating his actions. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah.”
Steven got off long enough to wrap Joey then quickly wrapped himself. He shoved Joey back into himself and clenched his muscles. His head went back and let out a pitiful cry. He wanted to yell his head off as his orgasm hit, but he didn’t dare.
Joey pounded into him, watching his face-he knew that this was the love of his life. He was shocked that it was over with so quickly, Steven collapsed onto his body.
He loved it when he did this. Staying on top of him and keeping him inside. It was great the way he kneaded his muscles around him. His mouth was on his, fighting his tongue. He looked away long enough to unlock the handcuffs.
Joey wrapped his arms around him, noting that one of the bracelets was still around his wrist.
“Are you sure you don’t want to hit me?”
“No. I’m good.”
“Fuck yeah you are!”
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