FicWad

He walked into the hotel room his eyes just daring me to ask him where he had been. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. I simply got off the bed and went into the bathroom to dress. We weren’t due to leave for the airport for another two hours. I dressed and walked back out to find him lying on the bed sleeping.
I walked over and looked down at him. Shit, he looked so angelic. Well angelic if you overlooked the hickey on his neck. In my mind I reran the lovemaking he and I had shared. Nope, I hadn’t left that mark on his neck. Anger coursed through me.
I sat down at he desk and lowered my head. Hot tears ran down my cheeks. Why the hell was I putting up with this? I should just grab my bag and leave. Yet I knew I couldn’t. He needed me and fuck it I needed him. I realized that whatever was haunting him made him do the things he did. Whenever I would get to close it made him push me away. Damn it. I knew he wanted to love me but the darkness that controlled his life wouldn’t allow it. I had to understand what had happened. I knew the answer lay somewhere in Jersey. His home.
When I woke him he had just enough time to shower and dress before we had to leave for the airport. He came out of the bathroom with his hair still wet. “Should have woke me up sooner.” He said
“Should have set the alarm.” I answered sharply.
He grinned, “I knew you’d wake me. I was just hoping you’d wake me a bit differently. A bit more personal.”
I glared at him. Yeah, I loved him and was determined to help him but still putting up with his shit was in no way easy. “Get real, hickey boy.”
He stared at me. Guess he hadn’t realized whoever he had been with had left their mark. He walked over to the mirror and checked his neck.
“They’ll just think you’re fiancée did it.” I said dryly.
He turned to me. “Yeah, that’s what fiancée are for.”
Holy hell I snapped, “Gerard, you’re such a fucking shit.” I threw the hairbrush I was holding and caught him directly on the head.
He stumbled slightly and put his hand up to the spot the hairbrush had hit. I was standing there with a stunned expression on my face. I never in my life had done anything like that before.
“Sorry” he murmured. He reached down and picked up the hairbrush. Walking across the room he handed it to me.
I took it from his outstretched hand then promptly dissolved into tears. He looked completely shocked.
“Laura, it’s okay.” He said trying to take me in his arms. “I deserved it.”
“No you didn’t,” I said between sobs. “Well, okay you did cause your such a shit but you didn’t.”
I was still trying to push him away but he grabbed my arms and pinned them to my sides. He moved quickly to get his arms around me. “Shhh, it’s okay. I am confused tho. Did I or did I not deserve that?”
“Both” I said still crying.
He slowly rocked me in his arms. “Hey, stop. You didn’t hurt me. Okay, it hurt but not bad. And I did deserve it.”
“Was she better than me?” I asked in a small voice.
He continued to rock me. “She?”
Of shit, “Okay was he better than me?”
Gerard tightened his hold on me. “She was not better than you in the way you are asking. I went to a club near here and met her. One thing led to another and I found myself in a dark hall.”
“I don’t need a play by play,” I said softly.
“Kissing Laura, that’s what she and I did. It was about to go further but I stopped. I won’t have sex with anyone else. I’m engaged to you.”
His words should have made me happy but how could they? “Gerard, you slept with me while you were engaged to Eve.” I reminded him.
“Yeah, but I knew Eve didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. She didn’t care who I slept with as long as it wasn’t her. Course I didn’t care about her either.”
I sniffed, “Are you trying to say you care about me?”
He stiffened. Bloody hell I shouldn’t have asked.
“Yeah, Laura I care about you. I will be faithful to you.” He said before dropping his arms and stepping back.
I grabbed a tissue and dried my eyes. “We have to go,” I said looking over at the clock.
He nodded, “Yeah, the van should be outside waiting for us.”
We gathered up our things and took off for the lobby.


Mikey and Alicia were waiting for us at the airport. Mikey smiled when he saw his brothers neck, “I was gonna ask if you two had a good night but I guess I don’t need to.”
“Yeah, I messed up. The rest of them are hidden.” I said forcing a laugh. What the fuck I thought, might as well take credit for his hickey. Made me seem less pathetic if everyone thought I had done that to his neck.
We got on the plane and Gerard promptly fell asleep. He had only gotten a few hours of sleep because of his romp at the club. I moved over to the vacant seat by Alicia. On her other side Mikey was softly snoring.
“Are you nervous about meeting Donna?” she asked.
“Should I be?” I asked with a frown.
She shook her head, “Hell no. She’s great. She kinda tough but in a good way. I think raising these two.” She looked at Mikey and Gerard, “She had to be.”
I spoke softly, “So why is it so shocking that Gerard is taking me to meet her?”
Alicia scooted closer, “I don’t think it’s just that. I think it’s that Gerard is going back home. Mikey told me he didn’t think Gerard would ever go back. Maybe it’s cause the family home was sold and his mom is living in a new house. Maybe to Gerard that makes a difference.”
“Why would a house make a difference?” I was confused.
“Who the fuck knows? This is Gerard we’re talking about. The guy lived in the basement of the house till he was twenty-five. Maybe he’s got some bad memories from it.”
I sat back and thought while Alicia spoke to the stewardess. She ordered a coke and then turned to me waiting for me to order. I chose the same.
“I’ll have a large rum and coke” Gerard’s voice startled me. I had thought he was still sleeping.
Beside me Alicia looked shocked. She nudged Mikey and whispered something to him. Holy hell, now what was I supposed to do? My fiancée, a former alcoholic had just ordered a drink. I looked over at Mikey who was looking desperate. Shit, he thought I could somehow fix this.
I moved back across the aisle and took my seat next to Gerard. “So, what’s new?’ I asked. I noticed he seemed to be watching for the stewardess to return with the drinks.
He smiled, “Nothing. I feel better now that I took a nap.”
I continued to stare at him.
“What?” he finally said.
I took a deep breath, “So wanna tell me why you just ordered a drink?”
His face took on an angry expression, “Don’t start, Laura.”
“Don’t start? I believe that’s what I should be saying to you. When was the last time you had a drink?”
He folded his hand in his lap. “Just over three years ago. About time don’t you think?”
I closed my eyes and tried to think. Shit, how could I handle this? “Gerard, why now? Is going home that bad?”
He glared at me. “Yeah, going home is that fucking bad.”
“Then don’t.” I said. “But don’t take that drink. Do you want to fucking loose everything you have? Don’t do this to yourself or your brother or your friends.” I spoke softly, “Don’t do this to me.”
Some of his anger faded. The stewardess pushed the drink cart towards us. Gerard pulled down his tray and waited. His fingers were drumming impatiently. I glanced across at Mikey and Alicia. Mikey looked so upset, his eyes were pleading with me.
“Here you go” she handed me my coke.
“And here is yours.” She gave Gerard a huge smile as she sat the tall glass of rum and coke down on the tray before him.
I wanted to smash her in the face. Gerard sat looking down at the drink. I waited a beat then sat my drink down next to his. His eyes still hadn’t left his own glass. I took a deep breath, reached out and picked up his glass. Before he could stop me I downed the entire contents without stopping.
I waited for him to start cursing me but when I dared to look at him he was staring at me blankly. “That was mine.”
“No shit. Look I can put up with a lot of your shit but not that. I won’t sit by and watch you fucking throw your life away.”
“Ill just order another.” He said without emotion.
“And I’ll just fucking drink it.” Hell, I hadn’t eaten all day. Fuck, I hadn’t eaten since yesterday and the alcohol started to hit me. Funny thing alcohol, it warms you like an old friends touch then burns you like a motherfucker.
He was watching me closely, “I’ve seen you drink, Laura. One more and I’ll have to carry you off the plane.”
I nodded. “Yep, and is that really the condition you want me in when you introduce me to your mom?”
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Pain in the ass.” He muttered.
I giggled the alcohol now pleasantly coursing through my brain, “Yep, that’s me.” I looked over at him. “So” I whispered. “Ever heard of the Mile High Club?”
He opened his eyes and shook his head, “Fuck, you have to bring that up now? I told you I don’t fuck drunk women.”
Well shit he was right. “Are you saying I’m three sheets to the wind?”
For the first time since we boarded the plane he laughed, “Another wonderful saying. Yeah, sugar you’re three sheets to the wind.”
I felt all warm and fuzzy when he called me sugar. I let my hand sneak under the tray covering his lap. My fingers moved until they it pay dirt. I started giggling.
“What?’ I was confusing him.
“I just thought another one in my head. My fingers found your cock and I thought in my head ‘Oh they hit pay dirt’. Why do you suppose it’s pay dirt?”
Gerard looked around to see if there was anyone listening. “Laura, a bit quieter, okay?’
I nodded, “Okay.”
He handed my drink across the aisle to Mikey who had seen what I had done with the drinks. Folding the tray back into its upright position he lifted the armrest between us so he could put his arm around me. “Take a nap,” he whispered into my ear.
I started shaking my head no. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid you’ll order another drink if I do.” I whispered back.
He started at me a minute then gently pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I promise I wont’.”
My fuzzy brain couldn’t decide if I should believe him. I stared into his face.
“I promise, Laura.” He said again this time forcing my head down on his shoulder. I promptly fell asleep.