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We both sat staring out the windshield at the motel. “We can find someplace else.” Gerard said slowly.
I forced a laugh, “Hey if you think about it it’s really pretty funny.”
He turned to me “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, but Gerard I gotta tell you it’s been one hell of a day and so I hope you agree. No movie night.”
He nodded, “I’m sorry you had to be a part of what went on today. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking taking you to that house.”
I reached out and touched his face gently, “I’m glad I was there. I know you don’t believe me but I always want to be by your side.” He started to speak but I shook my head. “Please let’s just not talk about what happened anymore tonight.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else but in the end just nodded. He told me to sit tight while he checked to see if they had a room. While he was gone I closed my eyes but he vision of him holding that knife in his old bedroom flooded my mind. God, had he really been planning on using it on himself? I had to find out what had happened at that house. Even if that meant talking to Ray. He knew. After today I understood that whatever had happened Ray and Gerard shared the dark secret.
I was startled when Gerard pulled open my door. “I’ll grab the bags.” Obviously we were staying at the Bates Motel for the night. I couldn’t help but shudder.
He pulled our bags out of the trunk and started across the parking lot. I followed behind him praying we weren’t staying in Room #1. Fate wasn’t that unkind. Gerard sat the bags down in front of Room #6. Okay it’s stupid but I heaved a sigh of relief. I swear the man laughed at me.
Once we got in the room I sat on the bed, well actually I collapsed on the bed. Gerard looked down at me. “You okay?”
I closed my eyes and tried to decide what to say. I wanted to say “tell me what the fuck happened today.” I knew not to. He would shut down again. More and more I was realizing that whatever had happened his mind couldn’t or wouldn’t deal with. I just had to keep him safe from himself until I understood. “I’m just tired.”
“Go ahead and take your shower first.” He said sitting down and lighting a cigarette.
I opened my eyes and sat up. “I swear to God, if you show up in that bathroom dressed like a woman I’m gonna unseal a tin of whoop ass on you.”
“Whoop Ass?” He laughed.
I stood up “Whoop Ass, mister.” I crossed to my bag and grabbed my sweats. I walked to the bathroom “Stay put.” I pointed to him. Shit, the look he gave me was fucking adorable.
A few minutes later while I stood in the shower, the water beating down on me, I heard the door open. Oh hell, now what?
“Laura?” His voice was soft.
I peered from behind the curtain. “Yeah?”
“So if I got in the shower with you just to massage your back, would you still unseal the tin?”
“You’ll just massage my back? I loved this sweet Gerard.
“Oh yeah.” He said smiling, “That’s all I want to do.”
I closed the shower curtain, “Well, I suppose that would be okay.” I loved teasing him, “But that’s all.”
He undressed and stepped into the shower stall behind me. He reached around me for the soap. Fucking hell, I could feel his rock had penis pressing against me. Damn man had to know what he was doing to me.
“Just a massage.” I reminded him with a smile.
“For sure, that’s it.” He grabbed the sponge, soaped it up, and began. Starting at my neck he rubbed small circles. I reached out to hold onto the metal handrail to steady myself. It felt heavenly. The tension of the day had settled in my neck and shoulders. What he was doing was actually helping relieve the stress. After ten minutes of bliss he turned me around so the water spray could wash away all the soap.
“There.” He said, “Feel better?”
I nodded not mentioning that while my neck and shoulders felt relief the rest of my body was on high alert.
He smiled, leaned over and shut off the water. Stepping out of the shower he grabbed a towel and held it open for me. I took a step out of the shower and into the waiting towel. He wrapped it around me then began to briskly rub my skin dry. This was so unexpected. When I was dry he helped me into my sweats then scooped me up into his arms carrying me to the bed.
I saw that he had already pulled back the covers. He gently put me down on the bed then pulled the covers over me. “Night” he said softly.
“No sex?” I found my voice.
“No” He walked back into the bathroom and came out dressed. “I’ll be back in a couple.” He picked up the car keys from the nightstand.
“Where are you going?” Shit, last night when he left he was gone for hours.
“I gotta go talk to Ray. I promise I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“I’ll go with you.” I said starting to get up.
“No” he said sharply.
“Damn it. I’m not gonna let you go alone.” I stood up only to be pushed back down.
“Laura, lay down and go to sleep. I’ll be back soon.” He saw the hurt look on my face and it must have meant something to him. “I’ll be okay, trust me.”
“But…”
“Look get some sleep. We gotta get up early. Mom’s making breakfast remember?”
I looked into his eyes, “Promise me you won’t go back to that house.”
He blinked, he hadn’t been expecting me to ask him that. “What did you feel in that house?”
“Evil” I answered immediately.
He walked towards the door. “That was what I thought. That was me, Laura. The evil you felt was me.”
The door slammed shut and I cried. Shit, I was so fucking afraid. I started praying. Amazing how you remember the words taught to you as a child. I prayed that he would come back. I prayed that I would find a way to help him.
A little over an hour later I heard the key in the lock. I opened my eyes and one more prayer was uttered, a prayer of thanks.
He came to me and knelt by the bed, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
I couldn’t speak. I just stared at him with tears in my eyes. He took his fingertips and wiped them away. “I told you I’d be back.”
“I know.” I said softly.
He stood, shed his clothes down to his boxers and slid into bed beside me. He pulled me into his arms. “Sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’ve fucked up your life cause I’m a selfish bastard. I wanted you so I fucked up your life.”
“Stop saying that. Please just stop saying it. I’m okay.”
He hugged me tightly, ‘But I’m not. I’m not okay. Why the fuck do you think I wrote the song?