FicWad

When we got to the motel he still had spoken to me. He unlocked the door and grabbed his stuff for a shower. I sat down thinking about what I was gonna do. He came out of the bathroom and hit the bed. I sighed as I collected my things and went to shower.
When I came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later he as sitting on the bed waiting. "Ready?"
"Ready?"
"Yeah, you want sex let's do it." He stood and pulled off his clothing quickly.
My temper got the best of me, "Fuck you." I shot back at him. Turning to the dresser I sat my travel bag down. He swung me around and before I knew what was happening he had me on the bed and was pulling at my gown. "Stop it" I shouted.
"Oh no, little Laura. I'm just gonna give you what you want." He pulled off my gown tearing it in the process.
I struggled to get him off me. "Gerard let me go." I screamed. His mouth came down on mine hard to silence me. Roughly his hands ran down my body. He used his knee to pry apart my legs. "Sex that’s what this is all about. Never forget that.” He said in my ear. "That's why I'm marrying you. Nothing more."
His fingers dug into my skin. I closed my eyes and stopped struggling. He bit my neck while moving his body over mine preparing to enter me. I went completely still. I could feel his penis poised to enter me. "I love you." I said softly.
He movements halted and he looked into my eyes. A look of sorrow and regret came over him. I held my breath waiting. Slowly he rolled off me and on to his side so that I couldn't see his face.
I took several deep breaths to steady myself. "I knew you would never hurt me." I said softly.
"I just fucking did" he ground out.
I was still shaken but tried not to let it show. "You stopped, Gerard. You controlled the anger."
He said nothing and I waited for several minutes before I moved over to him. I put my arm around him and kissed his naked back. "It's okay." I whispered.
"How can you say that? I was gonna rape you. That's what it was and you fucking know it. I'm a monster."
I rolled him over on his back and looked down into his eyes, "You didn't. You proved you could control the rage."
He stared back at me. I wanted to cry when I saw the sorrow in his eyes. "Laura." He said my name like a prayer.
I leaned down and gently kissed his lips. My tongue darted out to run along his bottom lip He moaned my name.
"What do you want?" I whispered, "Tell me what I can do."
"Oh God Laura, save me. Please save me." I felt his tears against my cheek.
I laid my body down covering his. My head was on his chest now. "I'll never let you go." I promised. We stayed like that until I heard his soft even breathing telling me he had fallen asleep. I moved off him slowly making sure not to wake him.
When I came out of the bathroom dressed he hadn't moved. I grabbed his keys and the rental car keys and slipped out of the room. My only thought was keeping him safe. Safe from himself.

I only took one wrong turn on the way. The whole time I had tried not to second-guess my decision to return to the house and get the knife. Gerard had simply dropped it in the middle of the floor. Something, an unexplained feeling, kept telling me to get rid of the knife. I didn't understand why I just understood it was something I had to do. It was after midnight when I pulled into the driveway. All the other houses in the neighborhood were dark. I decided to simply go to the front, use Gerard's key and walk in. That way if anyone was watching they wouldn't think I was breaking in and call the police.
The house was exactly as we'd left it. Nothing looked out of place. I took a deep breath and started for the stairs. I was gonna get the knife and get the hell out of here. That sounded simple, right? Then why the fuck was I shaking? At the top of the steps I stopped straining to hear. I thought I had heard a noise. Oh crap I was scaring myself. Damn why didn’t I have any kind of weapon? Shit, hadn't I seen enough horror movies to know I should have something to protect myself with? I gave a small frightened giggle. Fuck, I'm being an idiot I told myself.
Slowly hitting the bottom stair I made my feet move towards Gerard's old room. The only sound I could hear now was rapid heartbeat filling my ears. I reached the room, flipped on the lights and looked down. It wasn't there. He had dropped it and now it was gone. My eyes frantically searched the floor.
"Looking for this?" A voice behind me asked.
I screamed as I turned. Ray stood a few feet behind me holding the knife up for me to see.
"What are you doing here?" I asked my voice shaking.
He looked down at the knife, "Same thing you are. Trying to protect Gerard." He shook his head sadly, his fingers hovering above the blade. He became lost in thought, "There are still a few flecks of blood on it,” He whispered. He shook his head slowly, "There was so much blood and now on a few small flecks."
I stood rooted to my spot. Fear gripped me. Ray looked up from the knife to meet my eyes. "You really should have stayed out of this."
I took a step back not sure what to do. "Something told me to get rid of the knife." I said slowly.
His eyes bore into mine, "How did you know it was here?"
I tried to hide my fear, "Yesterday after you left Gerard didn't come out of the house. I found him down here. He had the knife in his hands."
A look of shock came over Ray's face, "He was holding it? He promised me he would never touch it again."
I gathered all my strength, "Tell me about the blood on the knife."
He walked slowly towards me, "It's the same blood that stains his hands."