FicWad

Disclaimer: As my last one was considered too brief, allow me to remind all and sundry that I do, in fact, not own Harry Potter or anything out of the Potterverse. I also state for the record that if you don't know who does own it, you really have no business reading his fic. If you represent any person or organisation who have an interest in ruining the fun for the talented, gifted, brilliant and attractive crowd who slave thanklessly by their keyboards to gift the world with their fanfiction stories, may you get an orange in your head, on that your entire family will attain the colour. To top this brilliant curse off, You are not allowed to read on.

I have mauled Asgård and Vanaheim. I know that, and I don't own those places either, for which I'm very glad. The Real Estate taxes for divine property would kill me, as I don't get paid for this at all. So there!




“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said




Susan was very familiar with this spell. Her aunt had used it on her for as long as she could remember.
When she had learned that it was a highly advanced diagnostic charm, designed to be used on victims of assault and kidnappings and such, it had amused her to know that her aunt used it to find bruises and scrapes on a clumsy little girl.
Anyway, it was very efficient. It revealed just about everything.

The glowing cloud of colours revealed, for instance, that something had penetrated her rectum. Susan was not so amused about that.
The faint traces of a potent Compulsion field were also visible to a trained observer, and Susan just knew that her aunt would jump to conclusions, especially since the scanner revealed everything she had swallowed in the past day, and that list included alcohol and semen.
The charm had also revealed that Susan was still a virgin, and she did notice her aunt's disbelieving stare.
That was it. Susan was easygoing enough, but she had to draw a line.

“Aunt Amelia, I've been violated.”

“I knew it! Was it Longbottom? Or those beasts you were..”

She didn't get any further. Her niece had never before pulled her wand at her, but this was apparently a special occasion.

“Do not insult my friends, Aunt Amelia. I was talking about you, and that damned charm. Have you no respect for my privacy? You have no business peeking into my knickers like you're doing with that piece of magic. I am over the age of consent, and the state of my maidenhead is None Of Your Business! If you ever use that charm on me again, I'll .... well, you'll see. You won't like it, though.”

“You mean, no one did anything against your will?”

“Yes! You! Didn't you listen? Well, Neville did as well. He stopped, and I didn't really want him to.”

“I'm too old for this.” the Director said, and sank down on a chair. “I'm so sorry, I was just so worried, and I was told off by a house elf and Minnie almost tore me a new one.. I'm sorry.”

Susan saw the lines on her aunt's face. Clearly, she had had a rough day. Susan was still not in a very forgiving mood, though.

“If you called Jorunn and Disa beasts in front of the Kilchurn Chamberlain, I'm surprised you're still in one piece. For your information, I'm now considered a part of the Kilchurn extended family, and I will not have you insult my friends and sisters. Now, you have your three questions, then I'm going to my room.”

Amelia nodded and thought deeply. This was a rule they had made a long time ago, and it still worked. You didn't part in anger without allowing three questions first. With two headstrong people in a household, something like that was needed.

“Okay. Were you ever in any kind of danger, apart from traffic and normal things? I mean, anyone can be hit by a bus, but ..”

“I know what you mean. I was perfectly safe. I admit I was a bit scared when Neville dragged me towards two Huldr and a Giant, but there was never any danger. They're great people, and even though I've known them for only twelve hours, we've grown close. I would take a curse for any one of them, and they would for me. Next question.”

“Erm.. Well. You've had sex, and that's a fact and I'll say nothing more about it without invitation, but ..were you pressured or compelled to do it? Were you in control?”

Susan actually smiled at that.

“I was in control. I was the only one there who were susceptible to the Huldr Allure, and the girls simply forgot to suppress it. Once they remembered, it wasn't a problem. One of the Huldr is the one who trained Neville to be more confident, and when I asked, they gave me a brief lesson in sexual technique, including many non-devirginising ways to have fun. You know, Neville wouldn't do more than kiss me without a commitment? I'm going to marry that man, and those Huldr girls will be my bridesmaids. I won't be a virgin bride if I have anything to say about it, but we're not in any hurry. Neville is mine, and I know how to keep him.”

The last sentences were spoken with Susan's new favourite toy, the sexy voice. She had practised and tried new varieties on Disa and Jorunn, and they had had a lot of fun with it. Harry and Sigyn had agreed that there was a bit of magic laced into it, and thought that it could be a great asset to have. It was clearly unsettling to her aunt. With her throbbing voice, she continued.

“Trust me on this, Aunt Amelia. Nothing except stopping happened against my expressed desires.”

Amelia was stunned. A girl in her teens had left, and a young woman had returned. She understood that the ring on her nieces finger meant much more to Susan than she originally thought. Susan even had a different body language. There was nothing of the teen defiance, the argumentative nature that she had somehow gotten used to. Susan simply stood there and held her ground, determined to defend herself and her lover, come hell or high water. Amelia Bones was actually impressed. She smiled at her niece before asking the final question.

“Minerva was impressed out of her plaid panties with this lord of yours. Obviously, he's got good and powerful friends, and you seem to be in with him on the ground floor. Now, this question is a little out of line, but ..” she hesitated a bit. “What is your assessment of Lord Kilchurn as Liege-Lord to the Bones Family?”

Susan burst out laughing about that. It was just too brilliant! Of course she knew that Harry wouldn't ask it, but she had in fact offered him Jus Primae Noctis, the right to her first night. Oh, how she would tease him. She had no intention of carrying through with it, of course, but the teasing was fun, since she knew he had ways to work off the tension.

“That would be brilliant, Aunt Amelia, but you should really meet him first. It might just shock you a bit. You should also know that since I intend to marry one of his lieges, I offered him Jus Primae Noctis, but he declined, since I'm not his liege, just Neville. This would be brilliant!”

“Wait, you want him to...?”

“Oh Merlin, no. He wouldn't do that. I'm Neville's, and he's married and has three bonded Consorts on top of that. He just wouldn't. It's fun to tease him, though, and he is incredibly hot.”

“You know him well enough to say that after just a day?”

“I do know him well enough. Actually, I only spent about three hours with the Lord himself, but I know him well enough to entrust my life, and my virginity, to him. He knows me better, due to the bond between the girls and him. He can see what they see, and they can share memories, too. Aunt Amelia, if you swear allegiance to the house of Kilchurn, we'll be safe and we'll have fun. We will have a safehouse to go to that You-Know-Who can never find, no matter how many hem-kissers he gets into the Ministry. The Lord is honourable enough not to ask you to compromise your ideals in your work, and I will get a chance to hang out with my friends at Kilchurn a lot more than I expected. Neville and I can get a formal Betrothal legally binding in a day, and the beer will be a dime a barrel. Go for it!”

“I actually do trust your judgement, Susan. I really do. I'm so sorry, but when that house Elf in the funny suit told me about the Huldr and the Giant I just got so worried. He told me to ask Minerva about Huldr, and her impression is identical to yours. Have you met this Sigyn woman? Minerva was very impressed with her, and I got the distinct impression that she is close to the Lord.”

“Vala Sigyn is a wonderful woman. She's the official stepmother to Disa, and the unofficial to Jorunn. She takes some getting used to, though. She's very straightforward, and has a filthy mind, but she's very wise, and can predict the future better than the fraud at school. She just doesn't like it, so she prefers to gaze into the present. She's also married to the Giant, Leif, who made this ring. I've never even heard of Muspellheim Giants before. He's huge, a bit bigger than Hagrid when he's not taking his potion. He's as clever as anyone, even if he learns a bit slower. There's nothing wrong with his understanding, and his English is positively atrocious.”

“I'm just shocked that a Giant can learn a second language at all. They really are all right, all of them?”

“Well, I didn't get to know Stina or Gabrielle that well, but the closeness of the four bonded girls was pretty obvious. Gabrielle is a Veela, and Lady Kilchurn. Stina is some kind of water nymph that I've never heard of before. They were friendly and all, I just didn't have much time with them. The last adult in the group is Surt. That's a nickname, but I can't pronounce his real one. He's a smith, short and built like a rock, all muscles and no hair on his body. Burnt away by the forge, I guess. He has small burn scars all over his body, and great self control.”

“And how do you know the state of his body so well, if I may ask? I mean that. You don't have to answer.”

“The Lord and Surt did a bike tour of 180 miles in one go. I helped massage them both after they finished. The Lord was asleep for most of the time, but the girls and I teased Surt mercilessly. Except Jorunn, of course, seeing as he's her father and all. He didn't respond at all, but I managed to get a bit of a rise out of the Lord.”

The long time director of DMLE, inquisitor and judge, and veteran of hundreds of criminal cases, frowned.

“Why is it that...? You knew the Lord before all of this. You are very careful in calling him by title, and not by name. He's apparently about your age. A student, no doubt, and you know him from school. Neville knows and trusts him. He's athletic. Apparently brave. Minnie adores him. NYMPHADORA TONKS, YOU TECHNICOLOR TRAMP, I'LL KILL YOU, FIRE YOU, REHIRE YOU AND FIRE YOU AGAIN!!
So, Susan, Mr Potter is doing fine, I understand?”

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Harry was in a lovely Hell. He was surrounded by sensually writhing girls, one of them a Veela, who had an ice grip on his balls to make sure he didn't come too soon, but all the girls were doing their best to drive him nuts. To see Gabrielle slowly lick Disa's erect nipples, hearing the moaning and feeling Jorunn's double bosom pressed into his side was killing him. A further mood-enhancer was the Vala in the front seat of the VW-bus, who was watching his suffering in the make-up mirror with shining eyes and moist lips. He could actually smell her arousal. One serious softener was sitting in the driver's seat, though. Surt was glaring daggers at him in his mirror. He knew that it was all on purpose, but he was still reminded that the man was watching his daughter trying to press her nipples into Harry's arm, and that the beautiful Vala was married to an almost thirteen feet tall man, currently sleeping in the caravan behind him. For some reason the ritual, or whatever he was going to be put through, required an almost burnt-out brain. This method was very efficient. He was right on the verge of a full gonad meltdown. Harry was lost in the expanse of female skin surrounding them, when they suddenly stopped. Surt grinned at him, finally, before stating the obvious.

“We're here.”

'Here' appeared to be just another slope in a fairly typical Swedish forest, but the grass was short, and apparently mowed. Harry was not really thinking clearly as the group left the minibus and walked past a runestone, the piles of rocks signifying graves from the Pre-Roman iron age until they reached a group of standing stones. A man was walking around them, drawing a circle around them using a white powder, and dusting the powder inside the circle as well. Sigyn walked up to him.

“A sea salt circle? I don't remember that as important. Did you use that when you went through?”

The man turned and smiled at the group, giving Harry a wink.

“No, I didn't, and I don't know about salt but this is ant repellant. It's bloody hard to focus on procreation when the forest ants are chomping away at your bits, wouldn't you agree?”

She laughed, and gestured for Harry to come closer.

“Harry, this is Daniel, and he has taken the route you're about to. As you just heard, it pays off to have someone experienced around. He's the guardian of this place, and he will help open the gate for you, as well as keep the tourists away.”

The unknown man smiled at Harry. He struck a pose and bowed deeply.

“Harald Fafnersson, welcome to Sjögestad. I can see you're in the proper state of mind, and you should be very happy that you have your harem around. I'm not supposed to tell you what's going to happen, but your physical body will not be involved in it. I was in serious pain for days.”

“Excuse me, but can you tell me anything in general terms? Sigyn has told me nothing at all. Well, she said I was to meet her Goddess, but I never know when she's joking.”

“You can take that very seriously. When I made my trip, it was to learn to control my wonky magic. I had to set things up myself, and that sort of ruined my focus. I did get much more control, but my sacrifice was not enough, and I couldn't strike a very good deal. You shouldn't worry about that, though. You play by a different set of rules, and I believe that once you're naked and sitting in the circle, well, among the stones anyway, things will work out. I have a link to the Goddess, and she's really looking forward to your visit. You already have a connection to her, seeing as you've bonded three of her own, and she tends to think of Veela as hers as well. If you can deal with your harem here, you've got nothing to worry about.”

“So, I shouldn't worry and just take things in stride, is that your advice?”

“Pretty much, yes. Oh, and have fun. That's always important. Shall we begin? I will have to get your girls naked, too, and draw some blood from them. Nothing much, and nothing bad. I was about to say that Sigyn will watch over them, but I guess the girls can take care of themselves. Get your clothes off, kiss your girls and sit down in the middle there.”

Harry walked over to the low, uneven circle and began to take his clothes off. Sigyn was whispering with his consorts, and the girls, one by one, locked their eyes onto his, and stripped. It was a bit too fast to be a proper striptease, but since the three capable girls soaked him in allure, Harry was so incredibly hard that he considered morphing a bigger cock just to make more space for the blood. He did realised in time that it would probably make him faint, so he chose to suffer instead

. He sat down on the indicated place, where there was a cushion on the ground, and quite a lot of the white ant repellent around it. Obviously, Daniel had had some bad ant experiences here.
His blood was pulsing in his ears, as he saw his guide walk up to the girls, and holding a quick whispered conversation with them. To Harry's surprise, Sigyn undressed as well, and the girls spread out around the circle, Sigyn taking a place behind him. As the girls climbed up onto the low stones, barely four feet high, they locked their eyes on his cock, and Harry could both see, feel and smell their excitement.
Daniel tossed him a purple bottle, and he emptied it in one go, and was surprised at the sweet taste. The world became tinged with pink and red as he saw his guide walk up to Gabrielle, sitting right in front of him, with a surgical needle.
She leaned back a little, exposing her lovely vagina to him. She was very wet. Actually, her juices were visibly wetting the stone, making it glow slightly in Harry's lust-addled eyes. As Daniel swabbed a spot on her labia, she had locked her eyes on Harry's, and as the guide stuck the needle into her throbbing nether lip, she released a little squirt of fluids over the stone, mixing with the blood that was seeping through the needle.
The process was repeated with the other girls, with the difference that the Huldr released a minor flood, and Stina had such an orgasm that she was about to fall off the stone. He couldn't see Sigyn, but he recognised her muskier scent immediately.
Apparently, his sense of smell had been enhanced, he thought, just to distract himself as all he really wanted to do was to leap up, and plunge into the displayed delights around him, blood or no blood.
His head was spinning, and his mind clouded. He tried to get up, to take what was offered to him, but he couldn't remember how many legs he was supposed to have, so instead of jumping up he fell down.
And down.
And down.

He was suspended in nothing, and the nothing was pink and red. There were clouds around him, and he was spinning in all directions, as the pastel clouds showed him visions of indistinct pleasure and delight. The only sound at first was his own heartbeat, but as he listened, he heard chanting in a distance. He was almost terminally horny when he felt a warm, soft female body against him. He couldn't see her, but she felt perfect. Her hair was long, like he preferred it, her waist was slim but not skinny, like he preferred it and he just couldn't decide if her boobs were large or small, as he didn't really have a set preference. Her body was hairless, and in his addled state, he sent a gentle blue wave into his unseen lover, hearing her gasp before he entered her, gently probing her depth. It was perfect. Very tight, but not so tight that he was afraid of hurting her. It was hot and wet and wonderful, and Harry enjoyed himself immensely. He never forgot about his unseen mistress, though, and made sure that the voice howled in regular orgasms. After taking the invisible woman over top after top, he felt himself explode inside her. Wave after wave flooded the tight entrance, and he felt her disappear. A second later he felt another one take her place. This one was much taller than him, and very muscular. She took charge, and used him for her own pleasure. He didn't like that much, so he called his power, and flooded this woman's nerve system with pleasure, until he felt her lose consciousness. The next one was a small, submissive pet, and Harry was very gentle as he pleased her to the best of his abilities, and as he felt her being sated, he allowed her to take him in her arse, provoking a quick orgasm, completely filling the unknown entity, and before she disappeared, he felt a soft kiss on his cheek. He got no rest. An endless procession of invisible women came to him, came all over him and left with his come inside them. Some had to be giantesses, but he morphed and satisfied them. Others were very small, and again he adapted, careful not to hurt them. He didn't know how many weeks or months he spent in the pink and red limbo, pleasuring and getting pleased by, an endless number of unseen women, yet it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. It was what he was supposed to do. This one felt just like Jorunn, but had only two breasts. He energized his semen and pumped her arse full, sending the girl into blissful oblivion before the next one took her place. No matter how many times he came, he was never sated, never tired, never soft. Then, without warning he fell, landed hard and lost consciousness.


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Nymphadora Tonks was not a happy woman. The reason was very stupid, and she was well aware of that.
She had gone out the night before, morphed to a long legged Nordic beauty, and she had had many requests for her company.
A wandless revelation charm allowed her to check the men out before committing herself to a full evening, and she had followed a well hung man home.
She knew that he had been a great lover, skilled, caring and demanding in just the proportions she liked.
He had even given her an orgasm or two, but he hadn't been Harry.
The source of her unhappiness was the fact that Harry was not, at that very moment, buried fully inside her, nor did she have the unspeakably delicious flavour of his semen in her mouth. The guy last night had given her orgasms, but had not been able to satisfy her at all, because he wasn't Harry.

She was moving through the Alley, simply wasting her time until her shift ended in ten minutes, and then she would return home and try her “hand” at imitating Harry again. Perhaps the forty-second time was the charm. Merlin, she was horny. She spotted a familiar face or two, but as she kept hers unfamiliar, she moved through the crowds like a ghost. Unnoticed and unremembered, just another face, unknown by all.

“Hi there, Tonks.” She almost jumped out of her skin. The redheaded witch laughed at the Auror's jumpiness.

“Damn it, Ginny, are you trying to kill me?”

“Actually, Tonks, I think I just saved your life. You're headed into Knockturn, and your head is not really along for the ride.”

Tonks deflated. The little girl was right. She was in no state to patrol now, so she might just weasel out of the last minutes.

“Ice cream? I'm buying.”

“Sure. I was headed there anyway. I just visited my hopeless git of a brother. Whatever they're doing to him is not helping him. He still believes I'm Harry's widow.”

“So the paddles are not quite in the water?” The metamorph frowned a bit, remembering Ron mostly as an insanely petty little boy who tried to chat up her cleavage.

“Nor in the playroom.” Ginny grinned at the stunned look at the older woman's face.

“Why, Ginevra Weasley. How would you know of such things?” Tonks said, stifling her laughter.

“A friend of mine, who might remain nameless, had a book on her bedside table called 'anecdotes of the great accountants'. I wanted to see if it really was as dull as it looked, and it wasn't.” Ginny whispered in her ear. The breath of the young girl on her ear was making her pulse race, to the auror's great surprise. She would probably need to cast a drying charm on her underwear soon.

“A whole education in itself?” she tried to quip, but failed. She sounded much to breathless, and the gleam in Ginny's eyes told her that the girl had figured something out.

“Oh yes, and the stuff that dreams are made of.” This time, the whisper was much too close, and she could feel the lips touching her ear.

“Ginny, you are one naughty little girl. So, in your dreams, who's holding the paddle?” She tried to regain the upper hand, but her attempt at embarrassing the girl just fell flat.

“Harry, of course. Who else? Usually, I'm bent over a table while he paddles my backside before having his way with me. Can you imagine how glorious that would be?”
Unfortunately, Tonks could. She could vividly place herself in that position. Spanking had never really been her thing, but with Harry holding the paddle it would be completely different. The thought of her red arse being forced open by Harry's member was too much for her, and thanks to Ginny's reflexes, Tonks didn't collapse on the street, but was half dragged, half carried to Fortuesque's.

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“Neville, may I speak with you?”

Lady Augusta Longbottom wasn't used to ask for things in what she considered to be her house, but she thought it a better part of valour to begin. Her grandson had changed in the past few weeks. He had stood up to her, challenged her and threatened her with being thrown out of the family home if she didn't recognise that things had changed. He was not the forgetful little boy any more, and it was hard for the old woman to relinquish control of the family, but she had no choice. He had positioned himself strongly with the Light side in the ongoing conflict, despite her orders towards a more neutral position. He had followed the Potter boy on his foolish crusade into the ministry and to her surprise, Neville had emerged victorious. Now, he was consorting with dangerous beasts, and striking alliances left and right ,and proving himself to be quite the diplomat. He had just been on the floo with Marcus Abbott, discussing an upcoming legislation for the Wizengamot, and had been treated as an equal by the ruthless old politician in the Abbott seat. Amanda Longbottom had to surrender completely. The boy apparently knew what he was doing.

“Yes, Grandmother?”

“I will be going over to the Bainbridge's for tea. There will be many old bats like myself there, and I was wondering if there was any rumours you would like to have squelched or spread.”

Neville thought about it for a second. He hadn't really considered the potential hidden right under his nose. The GOL's, the Grand Old Ladies was a powersource, no doubt, and if he could use that...

“Yes, Grandmother, there is. Thank you for asking. First of all, Dumbledore is an old man, and is slipping. Nothing Dark can survive to come near Kilchurn Castle, and Harry Potter was treated unfairly, not least by the headmaster, and might just have staged his death. He's clever enough, and his perceived death has shown us how much the Ministry really was prepared to load on the shoulders of a minor. Harry did his best, and we should be grateful. He had, or has, no obligations to the wizarding world, considering how he's been treated. I need him painted as a young man who does his best without being forced to. A hero, who's yet to reach maturity, and has been abused by everybody but his closest friends, and that at least he knows how to choose his friends.”

“Is it true?”

“Yes. Harry is in hiding, Dumbledore is showing signs of dementia and Kilchurn is safe from the Dark.”

“That girl who delivered the wedding invitation? I thought she was a Dark creature?”

“They're not. Huldr are sentient, they have a conscience and as long as they're well fed, they are completely safe. Disa, the girl who was here, is one of the kindest people I know, and she would never hurt anyone on purpose. Unfortunately, her feeding might hurt people anyway if she's starved, but she has fed from me, and I suffered nothing from it. She, and her Bond-sisters are among my closest friends, and I trust them implicitly. This past weekend, I brought my girlfriend to see them, and I was not one bit concerned for her safety.”

“You have a girlfriend? I didn't know that.”

“Yes. During the weekend I entered what is called a silver alliance with Susan Bones. We are as close to engaged as you can be without political or economical considerations. I, of course, intend to replace the silver ring with a gold one as soon as possible.”

“If you need family approval for that, you have it, of course. She's a fine witch and a good match, all things considered. The Bones' may be a young family, but they have all the markings of a great House.”

He grinned impudently at his grandmother before responding.

“Actually, for a man my age it's more important to choose a girl who's children won't starve if they're nursed by their mother. Her intelligence, charm and wit are primary to me, of course, but her overwhelming beauty certainly doesn't hurt.”

The Grand Old Lady of the Longbottom House felt the tension lift. Her once timid little grandson had dared to tease her, and she fully intended to return the favour.

“Have you consummated your relationship yet, or do you stick to the non-impregnating ways?”

Neville's only response was to blush at the unexpected question. His Grandmother turned and pointed at a spot on her back.

“Here, second vertebrae from the pelvis and two fingers left. Channel a trickle of magic into it during anal sex and you'll blow her mind, making her beg for more. Now, if you excuse me, I have some lies to make up before I go out for tea. Don't worry, Neville. I know how to properly monger a rumour.”

Neville sat by his desk, watching his Gran leave. He had succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. Not only was she treating him like an adult, with a value of his own, she was recognising him as Head of the family. She even asked if she could help him! If she could get these rumours circulating among the GOL's, it would be perfect. To top it all off, he did recognise the respect she's paid him by teasing him and telling him about that trick. If Susan ever decided to give him such a gift, he would make certain she didn't regret it. Two up, two left. He'd keep that in mind.

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“You are shorter than I expected. Bodywise, that is. Harald Fafnersson, also known as Harry James Potter, Caradoc Pritchard, The golden boy of Gryffindor and a bunch of other epithets. Lately, you've been called God a lot, but as that's by your consorts during sex, I don't mind. You've impressed me, Harald. That's not an easy feat.”

Harry sat up and rubbed his head, before he turned to the speaker. It turned out to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was perfect, and no imagination could ever produce something so glorious as the naked female body before him. She was sitting, or lounging really, on a wooden throne-like chair. She was blonde, of course. Her blue eyes were watching him with a hint of amusement, and her nipples were advertising a definite interest. She wore a belt, intricate and golden, of course, that was very similar to Sigyn's ceremonial girdle and the total effect of everything told Harry in no uncertain terms that he was facing a Goddess. Acting on instinct, he rose to a kneeling position and bowed his head.

“Freja.”

“The very same. You know, you're supposed to be reduced to a gibbering wreck by my divine presence. It's traditional.”

Harry couldn't stop his impudent grin.
“No disrespect, Goddess, but I have no less than four gorgeous ladies in my life. They may not be up to your level of physical beauty individually, but they have sort of inoculated me from beauty overloads.”

The Goddess laughed, a perfect laugh.

“Well said. I don't think I could handle another go anyway. You have, after all, just spent three subjective weeks doing nothing but having sex with me. This puts me in quite a quandary, however. “You see, your physical limits have nothing to do with your performance here, nor does your physical endowment.
“By seeing and feeling how you act and react, I can get a feel for you, who you are and what I should do for you. There are faster ways of doing that, of course, but why should I rob myself of the pleasure?
“That's why I'm not pulling the whole Divine routine on you now. You don't respond well to authority, and I just bet that includes Divinity.
“Here and now, you know who I am, but as long as I don't try to beat you over the head with it, we're getting along just fine. You are also a great lover.
“I wouldn't know, but it wouldn't surprise me if you actually could rival my brother. Unfortunately, I got a bit carried away, and I have no idea of just what you need, and you have proven yourself worthy of some major effort.
“Let's start with the easy part. You have problems controlling your Sorcery. Now, I had the same problems actually. Sorcery and Divinity are related, and they are handled similarly. The difference is that my will is infinite, as is my power, within my charter, of course. My handmaiden, Gullveig taught me a few things...”

So began three eventful months in the life of Harald Fafnersson.

Unfortunately, by the time he was returned to his physical body, the memories of the daily life faded quickly, except for a strong affinity for cats. Cats were everywhere, and he grew surprisingly fond of having his ankles attacked by murderous kittens all the time.

While he was there, though, he was tutored by Gullveig in Seidsong, apparently the best and easiest way to control the intent-based force of both Sorcery and Divinity.

Heimdall, the only son of Oden to be born in wedlock, taught him how to properly watch the stars, and many things he had seen and heard, including the amusing fate of the Dursleys.

He learnt about healing, herbs and potions from Eir herself.
He was offered a potions session by Oden, but declined. Apparently, the old god had a tendency to get high as a house and rape everything in sight, and Harry didn't really want to be seen under those circumstances.
He learnt that while he was in no way a God, they did have a few things in common. Freja started to call him Cousin after a while, and other entities he met treated him with great respect.

As he got to know some of the real Aesir, he understood why he was considered to belong on the Vanir side.
Aesir were too focused on honour, battle and glory.
There was very little room for a man to cuddle a sweet girl among the Aesir. They were just too harsh for that.
The only Aesir he grew to really like were the triplet dwarven smiths Brokk, Eitre and Sindre Ivaldeson, who he spent some good times with. He also met Loke, the trickster, who reminded him of the Weasley twins, but much less benevolent. Lots of fun still, though.
Harry did strike a deal with Loke, just like he did wherever he went. He made deals with the Ivaldesons,with warriors, healers and beasts. All who could travel to the physical world, Midgård, and who he thought he could have use for was contacted. He was of course warned that the number of odd things that they would be able to do in Midgård would be very limited, but he made the alliances anyway.

A couple of Valkyries did make it fairly clear that if he wanted to rape them, they wouldn't fight very hard, but unfortunately for them, Harry was still a fairly civilised man and as such found the idea of rape repugnant.
Roleplay was one thing, but they were talking about actually forcing himself on them, without them having a say. Aesir were just too rough for him.

The Vanir was much more humane, he thought.
Freja and her handmaidens were delightful companions and they were able to teach him loads without him really noticing.
He mastered the Seid and the Galdr, as well as a few ways of using the Runes that he just bet never made the Hogwarts curriculum.
He was taught warrior magic by the real Einharjers, which had the added bonus that he could go all out on them, since they could heal anything overnight.

He also learned much about himself.
One of those things was that he really could love.
He loved his wife and his Consorts, and in his mind, he prepared himself to add to their number once he understood that love was not likely to run out for him. He had plenty.

He also got the time to deal with his upbringing, his fate and the deaths that he had been close to. All in all, Harry grew up, not in a cupboard or a magic school, but in a tower room in Folkvang.

Surrounded by eternal spirits of fertility and growth, he learned to battle the avatars of destruction and entropy.
He also learned to really appreciate a good tankard of mead, and the subtle differences between the brewing methods.
He learned to use a bronze straight razor and how to plait his hair in the short, stiff plait that actually was called “Wolf's cock”.

When he gathered up the deal-tokens that he had been given, he felt quite ready for anything Hogwart's might throw at him. He knew his stuff.

He had had sex a few times, with Freja and some others, but Freja had warned him about it. Apparently the only part of him that was in Vanaheim was his mind, and that many of his acquired skills might vanish, as his real body didn't have the proper movements down.

He also didn't ejaculate for real, and that he should expect a case of Blueballs that would be on a truly epic scale. After all, there were hundreds of ejaculations that he hadn't had. He worried a bit about that, but was comforted by the fact that his physical body was surrounded by his loved ones.

It was time to return, and Freja gave him a handful of red gold necklaces, with drop-shaped pendants decorated with his crest but with the text in runes. He could tell there was a story there that he hadn't heard, but thanked the Goddess profusely. That was when Freja got serious.

“Harald, you have been gone from Midgård for almost ten hours, and you've been here for several months. I must say that you have used your time well. I like you, but you might have learned by now that I'm never really nice or helpful unless it benefits me. You pleased me greatly, and I have used a lot of my influence here to give you what you wanted or needed for that, but I believe there should be a sacrifice as payment for me making all your deals possible. I want your children to spend time in Bredablick, under the eyes of Balder. I want your children to be taught the Vanir ways, not as worshippers, but as a school. That is my wish.”

Harry laughed. He couldn't stop himself, and he tried to assure the goddess that he wasn't laughing at her by means of frantic hand signals as he tried to calm down. After a while, Jormungandr decided for him that enough was enough, and slammed his mental brakes down, almost making Harry choke.

“My apologies, Divine one. The very thing you asked for in sacrifice, was exactly what I was planning to ask for if you had offered a parting gift. Just keep Oden away from them, and I will gladly send my children here for a while when they reach the age of ten. I understand that this might mess up the whole sacrifice thing, as it is something I want, so you'd better come up with something else you want.”

The Goddess looked smug, and then she frowned.

“It's hard. The only things you care enough about to make good sacrifices are things I can't ask for. Especially, if I wanted to take one of your friends or lovers away. I know you would fight me for it, and I didn't bring you to this level to kill you. Here is your sacrifice. You shall love. Any woman or compatible female who asks straight out to bear your children shall have her wish granted. This does not apply of course, if you judge the situation to be one where I might take the child away, like if she's insane, or a drunkard or things like that. Nor do I ask you to sleep with your stated enemies. You may make whatever legal safeguards you feel necessary, but they better not exclude anyone else. If they ask for your child, you shall let them bear it. The natural way, too. How's that for a sacrifice?”

“As a sacrifice, it's a very Vanir one, and a rather good one at that. I'm quite hesitant, but I will of course obey.”

“Then, Harald Fafnersson, return to Midgård, and think fondly of me sometimes.”

“I will, Freja. I may not be the most devout of people, but if anyone asks who my Goddess is, You are my answer. You have a very nice set of boobs as well, and that really counts for something.”

The Goddess laughed, dissolving the solemn mood.
“You know, you have a way to pay homage to your Goddess that would make the average atheist green with envy. I will miss you, Harald. Don't be a stranger.”

His world grew foggy, and he felt himself rise through the air like a shooting star until he rejoined his body with an unimpressive jolt.
He tried to stand, but he couldn't. He couldn't even open his eyes.
His stomach was on fire, and his crotch ached like he had taken several direct hits by a bludger.
He threw himself backwards and started to convulse.
He threw up the remaining potion, and tried to control his heaving stomach as he felt something close around his swollen, rock hard and almost purple appendage. As he managed to pry his crusty eyes open, he saw Jorunn with tears running down her cheeks riding him furiously. It didn't take him long to come the first time.
He felt like he was trying to shoot a whole bucketful through his penis, and he flooded Jorunn's insides, filling her womb and making the overflow squirt out around his member.
Jorunn was then replaced by Stina, who had changed form to something almost stupidly sexy. She may not have been anatomically correct but she was very tight, and in three minutes, Harry came again. Stina didn't expel anything, but as he could see her belly extend, she had apparently morphed herself a king-size womb.
Disa was next, followed by Gabrielle. By then, the pressure was down so much that she could let him finish in her mouth without risk of drowning. Disa helped with cleaning up the semen, quite greedily a that, and while he hadn't expelled as much fluid as he had during the wedding night, it was still enough for Disa to thoroughly stuff herself.
With the ache gone, and his stomach no longer bothering him about any remaining chemicals, he sat up, and surveyed his surroundings. The circle of ant-repellant was like the border of a warzone. Inside it, the grass was scorched in places and frosty in others. A small purple pool of vomit added a splash of colour and he was still completely naked and quite pale.

“Well, that was interesting. So, how was your day?”



Author's notes: So, I only have the scene at King's Cross left before I can cut loose. I chose to keep things vague in order to make things easier to make up as I go along. He didn't get to meet Freja's brother,(and i'm well aware that Frej and Freja was also lovers.) as I have a few interesting bunnies involving him, so i'm keeping him in reserve in case of idealessness. As you might just guess, i'm not too fond of Aesir myself, and Oden is the first junkie i've found in literature. No wonder he had to have a horse with training legs. Perversion is also one of his attributes, and I found when I reread tha chapter that i'm actually having Harry following Oden's footsteps. Brownie points to those who identify the markers. As if anyone would make such an effort.

Ah well. How about NeoNeville and Susan's Stand? What's wrong with Tonks? Review and let me know. Enjoy!
Vanir