FicWad

COUNTERPARTS PART I



This story was partly inspired by the music of the group Rush, from three of their albums, Counterparts, Vapor Trails, and Snakes and Ladders. I have included lyrics as well as links to YouTube versions of the songs so that you may listen to the ones that served as inspirations. This was actually the first fanfiction story idea I ever had, it just took it a while getting here. Hope it was worth the wait- I leave it to you to decide. hg.




The Larger Bowl Rush (Lifeson, Lee, & Peart)
(a pantoun, an obscure rhyme form)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qn9tpqReYUY

If we’re so much the same as I always hear,
Why such different fortunes and fates?
Some of us live in a cloud of fear,
Some live behind iron gates.

Why such different fortunes and fates?
Some are blessed and some are cursed,
Some live behind iron gates,
While others see only the worst.

Some are blessed and some are cursed,
The golden one or scarred from birth,
While others only see the worst,
Such a lot of pain on the earth.

The golden one or scarred from birth-
Some things can never be changed.
Such a lot of pain on this earth,
It’s somehow so badly arranged.

Some things can never be changed,
Some reasons can never come clear.
It’s somehow so badly arranged -
If we’re so much the same as we always hear.

Some are blessed and some are cursed,
The golden one or scarred from birth.
While others only see the worst,
Such a lot of pain on the earth.
Such a lot of pain on the earth.

Chapter 1
It was usually rain that made Sanzo uneasy, but for some reason that night all it took was the sun going down and the evening shadows creeping across the room. He got up and switched on a couple of the small table lamps, but that didn’t really help. Neither did he get the familiar comfort he usually got from his evening newspaper when he picked it up and tried to read for a while. The words went blurry before his eyes, and he found himself reading the same lines over and over again. Finally he gave up and tossed it down on the floor by his chair in disgust.

“K’so,” he mumbled angily, “can’t even enjoy the goddamn paper.” He lit up a cigarette, inhaled gratefully, and paced around the room a few times before lighting another smoke from the first one. He knew he was smoking too much – the cough he now had in the morning, when he did manage to sleep, was telling him so- but he frankly didn’t give a shit. He leaned against the window frame and stared out the glass into the darkening night. He realized from the fading gold, shell pink, and crimson color of the clouds (crimson!) that he was looking west, and wondered how long it would be before they would see that horizon unfolding before them again as they rolled down countless roads in Hakuryu – or if they ever would again.

He thought of the Maten scripture, neatly rolled and stowed in a box with his vestments and crown in the motel safe. He had refused to wear any of it since… that day. The bloodstains had never entirely come out of his robes, and that alone was too much of a reminder. But there was so much more to it than that. His mind kept spooling down that tortuous path, playing the terrible events of that day over and over again no matter how much he tried to divert himself. How could it not, when the living, breathing reminder – well, barely breathing – was right there dwindling away in the bed next to him?

He was dangerously close to banging his head against the window frame, and not for the first time, when there was a soft tap at the door and Hakkai entered the room tentatively.

“How’s the patient?” he asked softly, coming across to the bed. He stopped to study Gojyo’s still form for a moment and came over to Sanzo. “Any changes?” he queried, sitting in the window seat next to where Sanzo stood.

He instinctively reached up to touch Sanzo to comfort him, the healer in him being exquisitely sensitive to the mental pain the monk was in as well as the physical danger of the kappa. He caught himself, knowing that, Sanzo being who he was, the contact would probably only make this all harder for him than it already was.

“None that I can tell,” Sanzo replied listlessly. “I looked at the outside of the bandage on his belly about an hour ago, it’s dry, and he hasn’t stopped breathing again or anything, but he certainly doesn’t seem any better to me, either.”

Hakkai went over to the bed and did a more in-depth examination of Gojyo’s situation, checking his pulse and his respiration, testing his chi in various places around his body. When he was satisfied that he had done all the assessing he could do, he took a small envelope from a pocket in his tunic and disappeared into the bathroom. He re-appeared stirring some green powder into a small amount of water in a glass.

“The apothecary in town helped me with this mixture. It should help keep his blood pressure up. He has lost so much blood.”
He sat down beside Gojyo on one side of the bed, trying hard not to let Sanzo see how much it disturbed him to see his best friend, normally so vital, lying there so unnaturally pale and still.

“Can you help me sit him up a little so we can get this into him, please?”

Sanzo stood and stared at him blankly for a moment before he slowly stepped to the other side of the bed, trying not to show the hesitance and fear he was feeling. He had been deathly afraid to touch Gojyo since he had been hurt. Afraid he would break because he just looked so godawful fragile, and afraid of the feelings it would bring out in himself to touch the body of this man he had … had what? Just what exactly were you doing with him, you jackass? he chided himself mentally as he approached other side of the bed and sat on it gently. Did you think you could have two or three zipless fucks with the kappa after all you've been through together on this little expedition, and it somehow wasn’t going affect you?

The two men held their fallen comrade up and did their best to get the healing liquid into him. A small amount of it dribbled down Gojyo’s chin and Hakkai pulled a pocket handkerchief out of his jeans. Leave it to him to have something like that, Sanzo thought, and as Hakkai lovingly wiped the excess liquid off of his friend’s chin and they gently laid him back on his pillows. The tenderness and naturalness of the gesture caused a clutch in his throat and Sanzo turned to look out the window so Hakkai couldn’t see the tears that prickled at the edges of his eyes. I have to get a grip on myself, dammit.

Hakkai straightened the bedclothes and brushed Gojyo’s hair and his ever-unruly antennae back from his face.

“I think I’ll wash his hair tomorrow,” he said briskly.

Sanzo marveled at how Hakkai could try to sound like business-as-usual while saying such an otherworldly thing. “We have to wash Gojyo’s hair.”

The whole concept made him wince inside for so many reasons. Once he found out how much Sanzo loved his hair, Gojyo had become inordinately proud of his long crimson locks, even though as a child it had branded him as a hanyou and acted as a stigma of his hereditary shame.

Images came unbidden to Sanzo’s mind of how beautiful Gojyo’s hair looked against the pale skin of own his hips and thighs when the kappa would suck his cock, and how silky it had felt brushing against his skin. He felt a tight knot in his stomach when he recalled a time in the shower after sex when, at Gojyo's request, they had washed each other's hair. The kappa had been forced to do some fast-talking to convince him beforehand, but now it came back to him as one of the most sensuous experiences he had ever had, and the lovemaking afterwards had been deep and explosive.

He remembered how Gojyo's hair smelled so incredible when he always insisted on holding him close before they would fall asleep together after sex. He would drift off to sleep with that mixture of campfires and cinnamon and tobacco and that unfathomable youkai smell that he had only experienced on Gojyo wafting into his dreams. He caught himself wondering if the lack of it now had anything to do with his inability to sleep.

As the sensual memories flashed through his mind Sanzo was horrified when he felt his dick stiffening slightly in his jeans, and he quickly sat down in the windowseat so it would not be discernable to Hakkai. He felt like ten times the pervert that he had ever accused the watersprite of being for getting a hard-on under these circumstances.

Sanzo cleared his throat. “Yeah, I guess that would be a good idea. I’ll help you.”

“Thank you Sanzo, I imagine I’ll probably need it. Oh, ah, Goku sent you a message.”

Sanzo had been staring down at his sandals, feeling chagrined by his undisciplined thoughts. He looked up at Hakkai, who was standing by the door.

“What kind of message?”

“He said to tell you to that you were to let him know if you needed anything at all, that he didn’t want to bother you, and that I was to tell you that he cares deeply about you and Gojyo.”

“He said that?… Is he ok?”

Hakkai cocked his head to one side and considered for a minute. “Either he truly is, or he is doing a damned fine imitation of it. From all appearances he seems to be doing better than any of us.”

“Hn.” The two men looked at each other in silence for a minute. Each knew the other well enough to be able to read the considerable pain in the other’s face, and knew better than to try to offer words of comfort and encouragement, and recognized their mutual need to each deal with their pain in their own way.

“Hakkai,” Sanzo stopped him as his hand was on the doorknob.

“Is he going to make it?” the question hung in the air between them like a cold fog.

Hakkai dropped his head and in a low quiet voice said, “I really don’t know Sanzo. As Gojyo would say, all bets are off.”

***********

Dear Miss Yaone,
I regret to inform you that Sha Gojyo of the Sanzo-ikkou was gravely injured recently during an unfortunate encounter with a shikagami. It occurred as he acted quite heroically to prevent injury to our leader Genjo Sanzo. He sustained a head injury from a fall and a severe abdominal wound from the shikagami. Unfortunately, the doctor in this town is recently deceased, and I have been unable to reach any in the adjacent towns for assistance, so I have been quite alone in my ministrations to Gojyo. I have done all I can to help him, but I am afraid his future is in the hands of fate at this point.
I am writing in the hope that you might send me the formulation for your herbal wound healing mixture that you mentioned to me on one occasion. The one I am currently purchasing from the apothecary in this village is not at all suitable, and Gojyo needs all the help we can give him if he is to have any chance at surviving this.
I assume Dokugakugi would wish to be made aware of his brother’s accident and ill health, so if you would share this information with him I would be most appreciative.
You will find our return address on this hotel stationary. Thank you so much for your kind assistance with this.
Yours truly,
Cho Hakkai



Chapter 2

Nobody in Tenkai, the underworld, or hell itself could dissuade Genjo Sanzo from sitting vigil over Gojyo. The problem Sanzo had was that his self-imposed penance left him with too much empty time on his hands, and that meant too much time to think. The newspaper wasn’t the comfort that it normally was, and he was way too distracted to meditate, consequently much of his time ended up being spent mulling over the events of the months –or was it years? - since he had assembled his little party and begun this ill-fated journey west at the Sanbutsushin’s request. In some ways it seemed like a lifetime since they had called him for in and commissioned him to stop the Minus Wave and its effect on the youkai population of Shangri-la. And in some ways it seemed like only yesterday... As images of the weeks and months – or was it years?- spent with his three fellow sojourners flashed through his mind, the ones that seemed to burn brightest all seemed to feature the smiling red-haired kappa for some reason.

Gojyo had always challenged Sanzo in one way or another, from the very first words he had said to him when he found priest Genjo Sanzo at the door of his cabin.

“What kind of a monk goes around hunting murderers?” he had spat out at Sanzo as he tried to shut the cabin door against him. The monk had blocked his effort, and they had ended up in a scuffle, threatening each other, Sanzo recalled. And I made some smartass crack to him…. Oh gods. I remember now. He sighed deeply and lit a cigarette trying to keep the smoke from drifting over Gojyo where he lay in the bed.

I know exactly what I said to him. I said “I don’t want to have to bloody up those luscious locks of yours, pretty boy.” How could he have known how much he would come to enjoy the feel of that hair under his hands as they fucked … How the hell had they gotten from that day to today, when he and Hakkai were going to have to wash that beautiful scarlet hair that now lay limp on this pale lifeless form… It tore at his heart with that crushing pain that was becoming by now all too familiar. He ground his teeth and sighed and took another drag on the cig before stubbing it out in the full ashtray. He realized he needed to dump the evidence before Hakkai came in or he was going to catch hell from the healer for smoking so much.

He walked over to the bed and sat gently down beside Gojyo. He tried to remember the first time he had ever admitted to himself that he had the hots for the kappa. Of course the hanyou had flirted with him, but he was a shameless flirt with everyone, that was nothing special. He remembered wondering about Gojyo’s relationship with Hakkai when he came to take Hakkai in for his crimes. It was obvious the two were extremely close, they were living in that small cabin with one bed, Gojyo was such an obvious perv, Hakkai was a pretty man… he couldn’t help but have theories about that.

He remembered an off-the-cuff remark Gojyo had made the morning they set off together to recapture Hakkai and take him in. Sanzo had been trying to explain to Goku the concept that the horrible things that the Gonou had done did not necessarily make him a horrible person, and about karma, and how the will to live determining one’s course in life.

Gojyo had been listening very intensely to everything the monk was saying to the young saru, and when Sanzo was finished he stood thoughtfully for a moment mulling it all over. He looked like he had just been given the key to some deep personal puzzle, or the answer to the question of a lifetime. His trademark grin then spread across his face as he put his arm around Sanzo’s shoulder and leaned in close, deliberately violating what he already knew was the priest’s very tight personal space. With more than a hint of a leer on his face and in his voice he said, “what a shame you became a monk.”

He had been laughing when he said it, but it had unnerved Sanzo terribly nonetheless and he had batted the kappa away, saying “What’s THAT supposed to mean? Hands off!”

Of course he had known damn well what that was supposed to mean, and the thought had niggled at the back of his mind all that day as they had gone searching for Gonou. Truthfully, it never fully left his mind from that point on. Looking back, Sanzo realized how that one remark had planted the seed in his mind of his attraction to the kappa. Prior to then he had simply never allowed himself to think about being attracted sexually to men – or anybody for that matter. But once Gojyo introduced that simple kernel of seduction in his brain, Sanzo could never completely eradicate the idea from his thoughts no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that sex with the stupid cockroach was the last thing in the world that he needed or wanted. And it didn’t help that the damned moron was always there, always flirting, always insinuating…

Remembering all of that brought back another rush of memories from when Hakkai was in the cell awaiting trial for his crimes, and it all came flooding back to him. Of course. He knew just when he had first felt really attracted to the kappa – how could he forget?

It was long before they ever went on the road. Hakkai was in a cell awaiting his time in front of the Sanbutsushin. He surrendered and gone there quietly, almost gratefully. After the horrific scene at the destroyed castle where Kanan’s body should have been, and Sanzo chanting the sutra, Cho Gonou had said virtually nothing from then on. He seemed reconciled to his fate, and to simply be preparing himself for what he assumed was his inevitable execution and death. Sanzo knew Gonou had been raised Catholic but long since lapsed, and he had wondered what thoughts about the afterlife awaiting him Gonou had as he sat alone in that cell all those days. He was sure it couldn’t have been pleasant for the man he now knew as Hakkai.

Because of Sanzo’s beliefs in personal accountability and free will, as well as his experience of the man Cho Gonou, he had decided to intervene on the jailed man’s behalf with the Sanbutsushin. It was no big deal, it was simply the right thing to do. As part of preparing his case to present, Sanzo decided to research the life Gonou had been living since he had finished his murder spree, in order to be better able to establish with the Talking Heads that the man had well and truly changed. Because he was not from the area where Gonou and Gojyo had been living, Sanzo had asked Gojyo when he came to visit Gonou one day if he would assist him by acting as local tour guide and help him meet people in the town who knew Gonou. Before he could even complete his request Gojyo responded with an enthusiastic confident affirmative yes, saying he would do anything to help save his friend.

When the day came for his visit to Gojyo and Gonou’s village Sanzo left Goku at the temple – better he should keep up with his lessons, and he knew Goku would only be a distraction with his constant demands for food. Besides, if the two men were in an openly-gay relationship, Sanzo was not sure he wanted Goku hearing about that just yet. At the very least he didn’t want to have to deal with the questions he was sure it would bring up with the very curious young boy.

He packed a small valise and headed to Gojyo’s village. They spent the first day talking to friends Gonou had made around the town – the shopkeeper, the apothecary, the librarian, and so on. All of them went on at great length about how he was the most pleasant, polite, and intelligent young man they had seen in that village in a long time, and how much they had missed him since he had been away. Sanzo took notes on a pad of paper, and asked all of them if they would be willing to testify in front of the Sanbutsushin if called. Being basically simple small-town folk, all of them looked somewhat startled and intimidated at the prospect, but every single one of them said that they would absolutely do it for Gonou, without hesitation. Sanzo began to wonder if Gojyo had been going through the town greasing palms prior to his arrival to make sure that Gonou got good reports, but his intuition told him that the townsfolk were uniformly sincere in their feelings about the man.

They had a fine dinner accompanied by a good bottle of rice wine courtesy of the restaurant’s owner at a small café near the cabin, where Sanzo got yet another earful about Gonou. Besides being a faithful customer, he apparently had shared recipes with the owner and taught him some cooking techniques he had never seen before. At this point in Sanzo’s recollections of his visit he was interrupted by Gojyo stirring slightly in the bed next to him and he looked at his friend in concern.

Gojyo whimpered slightly and his forehead creased. Sanzo felt his own forehead with his cupped hand and compared it with the temperature of Gojyo’s – the kappa’s did feel warmer. At Sanzo’s touch Gojyo’s head turned slightly into his hand, almost like a cat leaning into a caress, and he was making intermittent quiet breathy groans - it was clear that he was in pain, much more than before. Sanzo realized he had better get Hakkai in on this, and slipped on his sandals over his tabi and went to get him.

Hakkai determined that Gojyo’s fever had gone up, and gave his some willow bark and feverfew tea to bring it down. He was fretful about the kappa’s pain and worked over his friend carefully trying to adjust his chi to reduce his pain as much as possible. He lifted Gojyo’s eyelids and looked at his pupils, and shook his head ruefully. Sanzo stood to the side fidgeting while Hakkai sat pensively on a chair near the bed, as if he was meticulously ticking off a mental list of all he had seen and done and carefully arranging his thoughts. He finally looked up at the priest.

“Well?” the tension in Sanzo’s voice was obvious, though he tried to restrain himself.

Hakkai sighed. “I don’t know what to tell you, Sanzo. It’s like no matter what I do, he keeps getting worse, bit-by-bit. It’s like his strength is just gone.”

“Baka!” Sanzo spat, smacking the wall forcefully. “If that moron dies on me… on us,” he corrected himself quickly, ”I’ll chase his ass to hell and back again for it. There has to be something more we can do.”

“I haven’t given up on him, Sanzo. But I wouldn’t be honest with you if I didn’t tell you that it doesn’t look good. I think that the head injury is worse than we originally thought. I believe his brain may be swelling.’

“Can’t you do anything for him at all?” Sanzo asked quietly.

“I don’t know Sanzo, but I’m sure as hell going to try,” Hakkai replied. He shifted his gaze to Sanzo, studying him.

“You look like shit. Let me sit with him for a while. Why don’t you go in my room and take a nap. Or better yet, first go down to the restaurant downstairs and get something to eat. No one expects you to be here twenty-four-seven. Gojyo would want you to take care of yourself.”

“I’m out of smokes,” Sanzo said, obviously ignoring Hakkai’s concerns.

“I’m not at all surprised,” Hakkai dryly responded, eying the over-filled ashtray.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Sanzo said. He stopped to look at the kappa for a moment before he left, and habitually, not even consciously realizing that he had done so, reached down to brush a few strands of crimson hair back from Gojyo’s face.

“Take your time, Sanzo, and get something to eat, please? We can wash his hair when you get back. I’ll go ahead and bathe him while you’re gone. Maybe it will help his fever.”

“Yeah, right.” Sanzo said as he went out, his mind not really processing what Hakkai had said.

Hakkai sat and stared at the closed door for a moment. He sighed and shook his head slightly, pulled some hotel stationary out of the bedside table, and sat down at the little table to re-read the note the desk clerk had given him earlier. It was on pale yellow stationary and written in a fine precise script.


**********


Dear Mr. Hakkai,


I am so very sorry to hear about the injuries sustained by Sha Gojyo recently. Even though our parties have fought at times, I have always had a great deal of respect for Gojyo, and have always found him to be quite a charming and entertaining man. I know that he is your close friend, and I am sure his illness must be quite trying for you. Please rest assured that I am available to help you in any way that I may be of assistance. To that end, please find enclosed a sample of my herbal formula for wound poultices as well as directions both for its use and its formulation. I hope this will be of some assistance and that it will help speed Gojyo to a swift and complete recovery.

I have of course informed Dokugakuji of these unfortunate events, and he has asked me to relay his profound concern for his brother to you, as well as his request that we be kept informed of any changes in his condition. He has spoken with Lord Kougaiji, and our benevolent Lord authorized him to also volunteer the use of our dragons or any other resources of Houtou Castle as needed to aid in Sha Gojyo’s care.

Please call on me any time if there is any other manner in which I may be of assistance in Gojyo’s care as well. He is very fortunate to have you both as his friend and as his healer, and I wish you all the best in this difficult time.

Yours Very Sincerely,

Yaone



Chapter 3


Sanzo had to admit that the rush of cold fresh air that hit his face as he stepped outside the motel felt damned good, and he sucked in big lungful of it, only to be rewarded by a deep hacking cough. OK, Hakkai, OK, I know, he thought to himself, hearing the healer chide him for his heavier than usual smoking since Gojyo’s injury. Piss. Fuck it all anyway, he said to himself as he lit the last one from his pack and started down the street.

The town they were stranded in was a little larger than the usual villages they encountered along the road, more like a town than a village, which was fortuitous. For one thing it meant this hotel they were stuck in was more like a real hotel than the country inns they usually stayed in, and it had some amenities that were proving quite helpful. Sanzo liked that he could order room service and get a pot of real coffee without having to disturb Hakkai, who already had more than enough on his plate at the moment without having to be chief cook and bottle washer. He also appreciated the concept of having a crisp fresh newspaper being delivered to his door every morning, although he was generally unable to do much beyond making a show of reading it these days. He still liked it being there, though - it was somehow a real comfort to him. It represented the days when things were … normal.

There was also a game room in the hotel that apparently had some things in it that were helping to keep Goku occupied – Hakkai had said that Goku had even met some other kids his age. Sanzo mused that that was one area of his charge’s upbringing that he had probably failed miserably at. Although Son Goku was chronologically over five hundred years old, he was still a teenager as far as his basic maturity level was concerned, and he probably needed more socialization appropriate to his emotional age to develop normally. He had been around some acolytes at the temple that were close to his age, but they had been very different than the young boy Sanzo had released from his prison in the side of the earth, and they had a hard time understanding his rough and unsophisticated ways. The priest realized that it would definitely be a good idea for Goku to spend some time associating with some intelligent, refined kids his age, and filed it away on his long mental list of things to do someday when…

Someday when what? When Gojyo’s gone? There you said it, he grimly thought to himself. He kicked at an unsuspecting lamppost with a barely-restrained fury. It was the first time he had actually admitted to himself that Gojyo’s death was a real possibility.

NO! He quickly slammed that door shut in his head. He was still enough of a Buddhist to believe that only when you gave thoughts form did they start to become reality, and he didn’t want to give that particular thought any inroads. He trained his mind carefully away from that possibility as he walked down the street, completely mindless of what was going on around him as he walked. Think of the good things, he scolded himself. What was it you were remembering before you had to call Hakkai in to the room …. Ooh, ... Right, the card game…

At that memory the smallest hint of a smile turned up the corners of Sanzo’s mouth, He realized he was in front of a small city park and chose a secluded bench and sat down.
The card game….yeah, that was the first time the kappa and I were ever really alone together, he remembered. And the first time you ever got plastered together, too, he chided himself. I was lucky to get out of that with my monk’s virtue intact, he smiled to himself.

The memories unfolded in his mind and he could hear Gojyo’s voice in his head teasing him, husky with innuendo, “Oi, monk! Not entirely intact, as I remember it.” Sanzo blushed slightly as it all started to come back to him.

After spending the day information-gathering for Gonou’s trial, they had finished their dinner and rice wine at the café, and Gojyo had given Sanzo several choices as to ways to spend the remainder of the evening. Sanzo demurred, saying he really needed to just find a room somewhere, go over his notes, and get some sleep.

Gojyo looked at Sanzo with genuine surprise. “C’mon, bouzu, it’s the shank of the evening! I know a little place we can have a few drinks, play a little pool, and the ladies there are gonna love that dress of yours…” he teased.

“No, really, I’m quite tired,” Sanzo said, pinching the bridge of his nose and feeling the beginnings of a headache behind his eyes. He realized what a long day it had been since he had said goodbye to Goku at the temple that morning. It felt like ages ago.

“Well, look,” Gojyo insisted, “Hakkai would absolutely never forgive me if I let you stay at some inn when you are here just to help him. You are absolutely gonna come stay in the cabin, and in the morning I’m gonna make you my patented Sha Gojyo pancakes for breakfast.” He was doing his best to win Sanzo over with his typical “how can you not give me what I want?” smile .

Sanzo started to protest, “no really, they gave me an expense account – some kind of card…” but it was useless.

Gojyo had already snatched up his valise and was beckoning over his shoulder for him to follow as he grabbed the check and headed for the door. He would not hear of Sanzo paying, expense account or not, and waved off repeated protests from Sanzo that he really could stay in room somewhere as they walked back to the cabin. Sanzo finally gave up as they got to the familiar front door and Gojyo unlocked it and switched on some lights.

Sanzo surveyed the cabin. It was not as neat and orderly as he remembered it being when Gonou was still living there, but he was surprised to see that it still was relatively clean. Perhaps Gonou had been a good influence even on this seemingly carefree and irresponsible kappa.

Gojyo set Sanzo’s valise down by the bed, “here’s your bunk- I’ll take the couch like I do when Gonou’s here,” and opened the bathroom door, saying inelegantly, “and here’s the shitter. Clean towels in the cabinet.”

“So,” Gojyo exclaimed happily as he flopped down on the couch with his long legs splayed wide and his arms spread out behind him on the back of the couch, “do you ever get out of that priesty getup, or do you sleep in it and everything?”

Sanzo looked at him blankly for a moment – this whole situation was a bit unfamiliar to him, having grown up in the temple. Even when he had gone on the road as a youth to look for his master’s stolen sutra, it had been a solitary venture.

Sitting on the bench alone in the park, Sanzo couldn't help but smile to himself as he thought about that first night they spent alone, back at the cabin. From that point on in their relationship the kappa had definitely kicked up his bawdy jokiness with Sanzo a notch. From then on his flirtatious manner with him, which had always put Sanzo on edge, seemed to take on a whole new dimension of audacity.

For the longest time Sanzo had acted as if that night had not happened. He had pretended he had been too drunk to remember any of it at all when Gojyo hinted around about it. He had hoped if he persisted in his pretense Gojyo would drop the subject (not that it always worked, the kappa could be a stubborn beast when he had his mind set on something.) But during the initial months after it had happened, at least when he was around Gojyo, what few clear memories he did have of that evening in the cabin had made him profoundly uncomfortable. Gojyo never directly referred to it, so at first Sanzo figured that the whole thing had been just another drunken flirtation for him, nothing special or out of the ordinary. Hell, maybe the goddamn erogappa didn't even remember. But as time wore on and he got to know the hanyou better, he thought differently. Sanzo began to suspect that, despite his reputation as a sex hound and his perpetual jokey manner, Gojyo was actually quite chivalrous and gallant, and that his silence on this particular manner proved it.

“Baka!” Sanzo muttered quietly to himself. "If he wasn't such a damn white knight like that, he wouldn't be lying back there in that fucking bed right now."

Thinking back, Sanzo remembered another one of the kappa's amazing gifts that he encountered for the first time that night. It was something that Sanzo was completely clueless about if left to his own devices, and which Gojyo had been patiently teaching him before he had been hurt. One of Gojyo’s greatest gifts was that the damn cockroach knew how to have fun. The man was a good time on legs, despite all the horrors life had thrown at him that could have left him bitter, cold, and jaded.

That night in his cabin Sanzo had been sitting stiffly at the kitchen table, not really knowing what to do with himself, when Gojyo had asked him the question about sleeping in his monk’s vestments.

The question unnerved Sanzo slightly, although he wasn't quite sure why, "uh, no, actually, I should probably get out of these," he replied.

"Make yourself to home," drawled the kappa, smiling and gesturing around the small cabin expansively.

Sanzo opened his valise up on the bed, carefully rolled up the Maten Sutra, and stowed it in the bag. He then removed his crown and the remainder of his vestments, stowed it all carefully in the valise, closed it and slid it under the bed. He stood there in his jeans, sleeveless top, and arm-warmers, eying the obviously-relaxed hanyou sprawled on the couch. Gojyo was studying Sanzo intently in his change of attire, and Sanzo could have sworn he saw a hint of a leer drift across the redhead's face.

Sanzo shifted uneasily; he was really feeling quite flummoxed by the whole situation. In all of his years of travels he had rarely stayed in anyone’s private home, and never on so casual of a basis. He was definitely feeling himself in unfamiliar territory, and he found that unsettling. He held up the pack of cigarettes he had retrieved while folding his robe.

"May I?"

"Shit yeah, man. Hakkai was pretty cool about it, as long as I didn't burn the house down, and emptied out the butts now and then."

Gojyo lit one of his own and blew three smoke rings over his head with his first drag. Sanzo caught himself staring at the kappa’s lush mouth as he performed this feat and shook his head to the clear the thought that was blooming there about what other things those talented leering lips could do.

"So what would you like to do now, man?" Gojyo asked

"Oh...ah..ahem... Well, I guess I really should be getting to bed soon. It's getting late. It's been a long day," Sanzo eyed the clock-radio by the bed nervously.

"Bullshit- it's still early! How about some cards? You play poker?"

Gojyo stood up and went to the kitchen area. Sanzo found himself noticing the well-defined muscles of Gojyo’s ass as they moved under his tight jeans when he walked across the room on his long loose-limbed legs. He saw how the man moved with the grace of a lazy well-fed lion. Sanzo realized his thoughts were betraying him again and mentally pulled himself up short, angry at his lack of self-discipline. Really, after all those years in the monastery, being the important man he was, he should be capable of resisting this moron’s paltry charms better than this…

"A little."

He had learned how to play a little poker while on the road in his teens. It had helped pass a boring evening every now and then in some of the towns he stayed in. Most nights he had kept to himself but once in a while he needed a little human companionship, and cards had seemed like a good way to do that without getting a whole bunch of nose-breathers asking him a lot of questions he would prefer not to answer. Playing cards had been a good compromise where he could be around people for a while, but not have to deal with a lot of chit-chat or make small talk.

Gojyo rummaged around in a drawer and retrieved a pack of cards and two small trays of worn wooden chips of assorted colors.

"Here," he said as he tossed the cards in front of Sanzo on the table. He padded to the kitchen area and retrieved a six-pack of chilled bottles of Tsing-Tao beer from the fridge, which he placed on the floor between the two chairs, and stood next to the chair opposite Sanzo. He opened a beer for each of them and watched as Sanzo started expertly shuffling the cards.

"You've played more than one or two hands before, ne?"

"A few," Sanzo replied cryptically, already getting into poker mode and not wanting to tip his hand. "You play now and then, right?"

"Yeah," Gojyo chuckled softly as he sat down, "now and then."

"What are the stakes?" Sanzo asked, slightly wary.

"Oh, hmm, I don't know," replied the kappa cagily, "how about penny a point plus?"

"Penny a point ‘plus’?" Sanzo queried, suspicious. "Plus what?"

"Plus whoever wins gets to ask the other a question, and the loser has to answer. No backsies."

Sanzo considered this, trying to figure out what in the hell the kappa might be up to. He couldn't think of any question the man could possibly ask him that he couldn't answer safely and honestly - he was a monk, for crying out loud. He took a long pull on his first Tsing-Tao and decided to take the dare.

"What the hell," he said, feeling slightly reckless.

Gojyo was enough of a card sharp to know that a good fisherman doesn't even try to land the big fish on the first tug at the bait, he gives him a little play and lets him wear himself out first before he tries to pull him onto the boat. He had always been a good card player, but all those months of playing with Gonou had sharpened his skills to a whole new level. He let Sanzo win a few hands right off the bat, and acted sheepish about losing so badly. He even made a few stupid bets, but not too many or too stupid, didn’t want to overplay it.

"Man, I don't know what's wrong with me tonight!" he exclaimed. "Stars must be against me..here have another beer," he said, as he opened one for Sanzo. "Where'd you learn to play so well?"

He looked at the man across the table from him, trying to learn his “tells.” There was a slight flush on his pale cheeks and neck above that black thing he was wearing. Was it the alcohol, or was he warm? It was comfortable in the cabin, but that thing he was wearing, well, it did look hot in more than one way, didn’t it? Gojyo wondered if the guy had any idea how good he looked on that damn rig, and thought about how much fun it would be to slowly peel those sleeves down off of those thin white muscular arms of his, sort of like the strippers loved to do in the bar.

"I was on the road for a while when I was a bit younger, and I used to play some then. Thanks," Sanzo said as he took his fourth beer, starting to feel slightly muzzy from the combined effects of the wine earlier, and now the beer, with the fatigue of a long day.

"Aah. Yeah, some of those roadhouse sharps can be killer."

Gojyo smiled. He drew Sanzo out in conversation as they played, getting him to relay tales about his journeys searching for the maten sutra after his master's death, and carefully sidestepping the memories that seemed too painful. As the game went on he shared some similar stories of his misspent youth in the years after he went out on his own at a young age, again avoiding anything too intense or personal.

He was watching the monk very carefully now, searching the face of this pretty boy with the bad attitude and the gorgeous hooded purple eyes who had ended up on his doorstep twice now.

He wondered why Sanzo had decided to intervene for Gonou when he barely knew the man. He remembered what an amazing sight Sanzo had been when he chanted that sutra for Gonou and Kanan at the burned-out castle. The golden light he had created with his prayers had brought the four men together and suffused them all that day, and something had shifted inside Gojyo then. It had inspired him to finally start looking for the “something more” in life that he so badly craved but had always settled for living without.

Since that day he had been unable to stop thinking about the damn monk and that golden light. He had been itching to have some time alone with Priest Genjyo Sanzo, to get to know him better, to find out about his beliefs, to learn more about what was going on inside the head under the crown. But when he looked at the man sitting across from him at the table tonight, in that skintight black top, his mind drifted to the less cerebral question of what he would look like without his robes, with nothing on at all, just all that pale skin and that soft feathery looking hair of his....

Gojyo hadn’t been interested in a man physically in years, but there was something about Genjo Sanzo that had made his pulse quicken and his throat tighten with excitement every time he was around the man since the first time he had met him. When he looked at him tonight something else started to tighten up, too and it wasn’t his throat. He tried to shake it off at first, but as the evening wore on Gojyo found himself having more and more of these very un-monk-like thoughts about this monk, and he knew he had made the right decision. It was time to see what the deal was with this guy.

"Are you in or out?" Sanzo said loudly. Gojyo had drifted off momentarily, and he smiled to himself at the image of where that particular train of thought had been taking him.

"Oh! Ahm.. Hmm. Yes. I'm definitely in. Here, let me get another six-pack out for us."

At this point the tide of the game subtly started to turn for some reason, and the size of Sanzo's pile of chips started to diminish as the pile of empty beer brown bottles on the floor beside them continued to grow.

"K’soooo…." Sanzo groused and grumbled as he lost yet another hand.

He watched Gojyo carefully for signs of cheating, but he couldn't see a single one - besides he was still dealing so how could that be? He scrubbed his hand over his face in an attempt to sober himself up. Confident of his own tolerance for alcohol, he knew he wasn't really drunk, but he feared he wasn't as sharp as he should be to be dealing with someone like the kappa, either.

Gojyo really got on a hot streak then, and from that point on it was over in a matter of just minutes.

"Must be a good night for Scorpios," he crowed, beaming widely, and starting to count his neatly stacked chips.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Sanzo snarled as he stood, hoping he could make a fast and unobtrusive getaway. "You want the bed or the couch?"

"Uh-uh-uh. Not so fast, monk, nice try," Gojyo chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Remember the terms of the game?"

"That was before I knew I was playing with a cardsharp."

"You saying you're wussing out on a deal?"

Sanzo sighed deeply and buried his face in his hand. "No, I suppose not," he said through clenched teeth.

He grabbed another beer, opened it, and as he sat down on the couch he used his thumb and forefinger to flick the bottle cap with deadly aim across the room. Gojyo felt the small projectile whiz by his right ear like a jet-propelled insect.

"Hmm, we’re getting testy, I see." Gojyo said as he plopped down on the couch next to Sanzo.

"No, ‘we’re’ getting fucking tired," Sanzo was almost snarling now, largely to try to cover up the fact that he felt strangely vulnerable in this situation, especially since the harisen and the Smith and Wesson were stowed away securely under the bed in his valise with his vestments.

"So get on with it. What the fuck is this magical question you want to ask?"

"Hmmm, now just wait there, don't rush me, I worked hard for this,” Gojyo teased. "One doesn't get an opportunity like this every day -- I don't want to waste it. I need to consider this carefully." He put his forefinger to his chin and looked upward, knitting his brows, in an exaggerated mock of deep pondering.

"Oh, gods," Sanzo said, starting to get up off of the couch, "I'm going to bed."

"No, now, man," Gojyo laughed and grabbed the waist of his pants pulling him back down to sit again, "now, c’mon, we made a deal, give me just a minute."

He patted the monk lightly on his knee, "relax and drink your beer, blondie."

Sanzo had been startled by the simple physical contact. Living the life he did at the temple, physical contact with other human beings was basically non-existent. Every once in a while the monkey would fling himself at Sanzo him for reassurance or when he was upset or ecstatic about something, but the older he got the more Sanzo discouraged it, it just felt... unseemly somehow. It seemed like for Gojyo, touching him on the knee like he just had was as natural a thing as breathing, but to him it felt… what did it feel? Shit, he realized he must have been a lot drunker than he thought to even be asking himself that question.

While Gojyo continued to make a big show of thinking over what he was going to ask Sanzo with his big wonderful question, Sanzo took the opportunity to study the redhead ed man furtively. The kappa had stripped down during the game to his loose tank top and jeans, and Sanzo couldn't help but appreciate the hanyou’s handsome deep tan, especially when contrasted his white tank top, not to mention measured against Sanzo’s own fair skin.

He looked at Gojyo's long crimson mane and caught himself wanting to touch it to see if it felt as smooth and soft as it looked. His eyes were drawn to those wild springy antennae of the kappa’s and he wondered what they would feel like under his hand, and just what the hell were they, anyway? He looked at Gojyo's scarlet eyes, now lost in thought, and couldn’t help but notice how kind they were. He had a hard time imagining the cruelty he knew the man had been subjected to in his life. Sanzo already knew the cruel origins of the marks on Gojyo's cheek, and marveled how he managed to stay so upbeat and good-natured given everything he had been through, and everything he had apparently lost.

Gojyo shifted around next to Sanzo on the couch, crossing his long legs, and the priest couldn't help but notice the well-defined thigh muscles moving under the denim of the kappa’s tight jeans. Afraid to let his eyes linger there, Sanzo looked upwards and was struck by the well-defined biceps of the kappa’s long lanky arms. He also noticed that Gojyo had very large hands, very broad and strong-looking, with extremely long graceful fingers that ended in short, clean, square-cut nails. Sanzo couldn’t ever remember having ever even noticed what a man’s hands looked like since his master’s hands, and he only remembered them as being kind and gentle. But for some reason that night he was fascinated with Gojyo’s hands - he couldn’t stop looking at them. It was all he could do to fight an irrational impulse to take Gojyo’s hand and press his own against it palm to palm and measure Gojyo’s fingers against his own.

"OK," Gojyo said, smiling mysteriously, "I'm ready. “

**********


Dear Miss Yaone,

Thank you so much for sending the generous sample of your herbal healing mixture along with the information on how to formulate it. It came in the post today. I have not had a chance to administer it to Gojyo yet, but your timing is most appreciated, as his condition is quite grave.

I fear that his head injury is much more substantial than I first appreciated. I am concerned that his brain is swelling and that there is considerable inter-cranial pressure. If this pressure should become pressure on his brain stem, I truly fear for our friend’s life at that point, as I am sure you can understand. I was wondering if you were you aware of any methods or formulations for dealing with this type of brain injury? I would be very grateful for any such information you could share with with me.

I was not surprised to hear of Dokugakuji’s reaction to his brother’s illness. Although they have fought each other when necessary, and often feigned enmity, I believe their love for each other still runs quite deep. Gojyo has told me many stories over the years of his brother Jien and how he protected him from their mother, and he feels he owes his life to his brother in many ways. I have always suspected that the primary reason for Gojyo’s behavior regarding Dokugakuji in the present day is that he sees in him a reminder of unpaid debts from their past.

By all means, please encourage Dokugakuji to come visit Gojyo soon if he wishes to see him. Not wishing to sound melodramatic, but I am afraid hesitation may deprive him of the chance to see his brother altogether.

You or he may contact me at the hotel to arrange a time to visit, or simply show up at your convenience. Please know that in addition to Dokugakuji, you, Lord Kougaiji, and of course Lady Lirin are all most welcome. In a strange way we have all become a sort of extended family, especially where Gojyo is concerned.

Thank you again for your generous sharing of your apothecary expertise and your kind words.

I remain,

Yours sincerely,

Hakkai



Chapter 4


"OK," Gojyo said, "I'm ready.”

Sanzo jumped a bit when the kappa spoke, wondering if he had been caught in his furtive observations of the man’s physique. Sanzo’s heart raced despite his attempt to appear nonchalant, and he cursed his pale coloring as he felt a faint blush race across his cheeks.

"Alright, already, let's get this over with so I can go to bed."

Sanzo tried to cover his embarrassment by affecting his usual air of bored impatience. He cursed himself again, this time for drinking too much.

“Stand up,” Gojyo commanded gently, standing up himself and looking down at Sanzo on the couch.

“What?” Sanzo was suspicious.

“Just stand up, ok?”

Gojyo extended his hand down to Sanzo. Sanzo batted away Gojyo’s hand and stood up.

“Alright, whatever,” he grumbled.

He wobbled a bit from the combined effects of alcohol and the fatigue, but tried not to let Gojyo see.

The kappa did notice, however, and caught Sanzo gently by one of his elbows to steady him, saying, “easy there, man.”

He coiled his other arm lightly around Sanzo and gently pulled the monk as closer to him.

“So what’s your bloody question? Get on with it,” Sanzo demanded, stiff in Gojyo’s arms and with as much defiance as he could muster.

It was far more difficult for him than usual to assume his typical arrogant pose when the floor kept tilting him around like a carnival ride, and the goddamn kappa was holding him so close. With all that skin… and …hair…

“My question is this, Sanzo houshi-sama: would you be afraid to be kissed by a lowly erogappa?”

Gojyo posed his seemingly simple query in a level tone, with an amused and only slightly wicked smile. He froze just as he was, holding Sanzo in the barest of embraces, and watched the priest’s face as he processed and struggled with the situation he was in.

Sanzo stared at Gojyo in stunned silence, his brain wrestled with the possible permutations of all the different replies he could give to the question.

If he said yes, then he was afraid, he looked like a wimp and a coward, and his pride would simply not allow that.

If he said no, he was not afraid, then what did that mean? Would that be a lie?

Was he afraid to be kissed by the kappa? Would that be giving him permission? Was that what he wanted to do?

Did that mean he was a homosexual? Oh gods, what the hell if that was true? His mind reeled. There was simply no way to… it just couldn’t be…

”No, I ….” he said, thinking out loud.

“All I needed to hear,” Gojyo said quickly.

Before Sanzo could pull back Gojyo quickly snaked his face in close to the monk’s, head turned at a slight angle, and kissed him firmly and deliberately on the lips. Gojyo knew better than to move too fast or Sanzo would surely balk. But he also knew if he moved too slow, the pretty blonde man that he finally had his lips on after so long would have too much time to think, and for Sanzo right now, the kappa knew instinctively that too much thinking was a bad thing.

Gojyo kissed the monk again with his lips moist and slightly open this time, and he lingered a moment like that until he both heard and felt Sanzo react with a sharp sighing intake of breath. Knowing from that sound that he was getting just the reaction he wanted, Gojyo was emboldened to continue.

He kissed the monk more fervently this time, teasing Sanzo’s lips with the tip of his tongue, asking entry to his sweet mouth. Sanzo didn’t stop him, so Gojyo pressed on, and when his tongue first met Sanzo’s a slight moan of pleasure escaped the monk’s throat. Sanzo’s arms moved up Gojyo’s sides as if they had minds of their own and his hands splayed out across Gojyo’s back. As the kiss deepened and their tongues sparred Sanzo brought one arm around Gojyo’s waist, and the other hand up onto the back of his head, twining his fingers through the other man’s scarlet hair.

Gojyo let out a little growl deep down in his throat and reveled in the sheer pleasure he felt, having the priest finally and so firmly in his arms. It was already so much better than he had imagined, from the feel of the Sanzo’s hard muscles moving under the smooth pale skin beneath his hands, to the intoxicating feel of their lips crushing together.

He drank in the delicious collection of smells emanating from the man he held in his arms – even muddled with the smells of beer and cigarettes, his youkai senses could discern that blend of scents that was purely Sanzo, that which made him unique. Only now all of Sanzo’s normal smells, which were heady enough to the intoxicate the kappa on their own, were now combined with the beginnings of that aroma of pure sex… It was that smell that humans males put off when they were aroused, which in turn only served to get the kappa all the more turned on by this man he held in his arms.

Gojyo smiled to himself. “When they were aroused”… He knew what that smell meant even before he pushed his hips sensuously up against Sanzo’s that first time. He knew he would find Sanzo’s cock completely hard when he leaned into it, just as hard as he was. He reached down and held Sanzo’s hips as he started grinding his hips against the monk’s, gently at first, just enough to brush their hard-ons against each other, which brought a muffled groan from Sanzo.

Meanwhile their kisses were steadily deepening in intensity, and at times were almost becoming almost violent in their forcefulness. Gojyo kept half-expecting Sanzo to come to his senses and pull away from him at any minute, but whether because of the alcohol, or pure need, or both, he never did. As they kissed Gojyo encouraged the priest to match his lusting tongue thrust for thrust, and every nuance and move he introduced into their passionate meeting of lips and tongues, Sanzo learned and returned greedily.

The more intense their kisses became, the louder the throaty moans issuing from the blonde. He started to push his hips back against Gojyo’s more aggressively, instinctively, driven by needs too long denied and unfulfilled. Gojyo broke away from Sanzo’s kiss and nuzzled and nipped at his ears and neck. Sanzo showed his approval by turning his head to give the kappa better access to his neck above his shirtline, and groaned appreciatively as Gojyo continued on. As Gojyo caught bits of the tender flesh of Sanzo’s neck in his teeth and alternatively nipped and sucked, it sent new shivers thrilling through the priest’s body, and he felt his groin muscles tighten in response. Gojyo tugged the black sleeveless shirt out of Sanzo’s pants and over his head, and then slowly peeled his sleeves off of his arms, stopping to kiss the tender spot at the inside of his elbows, and suck his at his fingers as he slipped each sleeve off of the monk. Guttural pleasure sounds escaped from Sanzo each time a finger disappeared between Gojyo’s kiss-swollen lips, He stared intently into Gojyo’s crimson eyes, not saying a word.

Gojyo was pleased and amazed – he had been sure that as soon as the Sanzo had been allowed to come up for air he would come to his senses and bolt – yet there he was, staring him in straight the eyes. His beautiful purple eyes showed no fear or trepidation, only a lifetime of need and a hunger darker than the night outside their cabin. Gojyo may not have had the book smarts Hakkai had but he was no fool, and he knew better than to question anything that happened now.

In the back of his mind Gojyo couldn’t help but wonder just how worldly this monk was, and if he knew what he was getting himself into. He himself had spent time on the streets, and had experimented with sex in all its forms at one time or another, but Sanzo…. Gojyo felt a pang in the back of his mind even as he felt Sanzo pull his face back up for another ferocious kiss. Gojyo knew he had to keep control of the situation or he would never be able to live with himself later. He already cared enough about this man to want to do the right thing by him. Besides, he may be an erogappa, but he still had a conscience.

Gojyo returned Sanzo’s kiss with as ferociously as it was given, and pulled Sanzo’s hips tightly against his as he ground their jeans-clad hard-ons roughly together one more time.

“You see what you have done to me, monk?” he purred in Sanzo’s ear and nipped at his earlobe.

Sanzo growled deep in his throat and rasped out the first words he had said since before they had kissed.

“What now?” he said in a sotto voce so throttled by want that Gojyo could just barely understand him.

Gojyo scooped Sanzo up in his arms and carried the monk to the bed. Before lying him down he pulled off Sanzo’s jeans. Sanzo gasped as the cold air hit his fully-nude body, and looked up at Gojyo from the bed with wide-eyed realization bordering on fear. The redhead quickly shucked off the rest of his own clothes and slid into bed alongside Sanzo. The priest’s fears were quickly forgotten as he was engulfed in the sheer unadulterated animal pleasure of finally feeling the two bodies merging full length skin-on-skin.

Sanzo pulled back to better look at this man he was with, and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of the kappa fully naked. He was dizzy with the intensity of it all, after so long with so little real physical contact in his life, so little attention ever paid to his body’s human needs. He felt the drunk on the kappa’s dark skin, running his hands all over his body as if he wanted to commit the feel of every inch, of every curve and crevice of his body, to his memory, to be recalled again in those long sad solitary nights.

Gojyo kissed Sanzo deeply just once more and then began to trail small kisses down the monk’s chest, where he laved small wet circles around Sanzo’s hard nipples with the tip of his tongue. This brought a sudden gasp from the houshi, and the harsh groan that he made next when Gojyo sucked and nipped at his small caramel-colored bud told him that Sanzo was not going to be able to last indefinitely at this. At this rate, and as beautiful as the monk looked and felt to him, neither would he.

Gojyo continued to work on Sanzo’s nipple with his skilled mouth, and reached down and grabbed Sanzo’s sleek ass and pulled their hips as close together as possible. Their naked hardened cocks brushed against each other, each now glistening with large drops of slick fluid on the purpled heads. Gojyo lightly ran his hand over both of their dicks together, and Sanzo reacted to his first touch with a quick intake of breath through his clenched teeth, followed by a groan of frank need from deep in his throat. Sanzo shuddered when the erogappa reached down and raked his blunt fingernails through the soft golden curls at the base of his shaft.

Gojyo then began to softly explore and cradle Sanzo’s balls, and ran his hand lightly over his erect shaft, appreciating how handsome Sanzo’s equipment was- his naked body truly looked like a Greek sculpture fresh from a museum. Gojyo was worldly enough to have seen more than a few men up close and personal like this, and while he knew that while many were as well-endowed as the monk, he also knew that very few had a cock and balls as nicely put-together as the blonde’s set was. Sanzo’s equipment was just like the rest of him, easy on the eye to put it mildly, and Gojyo realized he could be happy looking at this monk - and his beautiful cock and his handsome balls - for a very long time.

The thought whirred through Gojyo’s mind, only momentarily, like a breeze blowing through, about how truly odd all this was. That after all the women he had fucked over the years, and all the tits and asses he had chased, that he should feel so happy and so right with this pretty blonde priest and his pretty dick – and he hadn’t even fucked him yet. But for some strange reason it made absolutely perfect sense to him, and it didn’t cause him a moment of concern. He just knew he had been found what he had been looking for all those years, through all those women, all that wandering, and all that sex, and never been able to find it. Of course. This was it. So why wouldn’t it make sense that he would feel like he was so pleased with what he saw, and why wouldn’t he know that this right here was what he wanted to keep looking at and holding close for a long long time? Duh. And as soon as the thought came into his head, it was resolved, and disappeared. Simple.

Gojyo trailed his long fingers casually up and down Sanzo’s dick before wraping them around both of their hard pricks. The blonde gasped as he held them together with just the right pressure and started stroking them both slowly and sensuously. Sanzo was becoming increasingly agitated now and he groaned as he buried his face in Gojyo’s neck and hair. He moved his hips insistently against Gojyo’s, leaning into the kappa’s deft strokes and trying instinctively to find his release in the other man’s hand.

Gojyo started slowly at first, getting more and more turned on by the feel of the monk’s cock in his own hand. He loved the feel of sliding the smooth skin over the hard shaft beneath it. He could barely stand the delicious feeling of holding Sanzo’s cock tightly against his own, sliding his hand up and down their shafts together in unison, feeling that delicious tension building deep in his belly and knowing it he was making it happen for Sanzo at the same time. He reveled in the moans he got out of the monk with each firm stroke, and shivered from the sweet pain of the bites Sanzo was making all over his neck and shoulders in-between his moans.

Gojyo could see Sanzo’s stomach muscles starting to clench, and he could tell from his deep groans and insistent movements that the houshi wasn’t going to last much longer. Hearing how turned-on Sanzo was getting was all it took to bring the redhead right to the edge, too, and he started to pick up the speed he using on their pricks now. As he pumped up and down their cocks he ran his thumb along that sensitive spot on the underside of the head of Sanzo’s shaft, and with each stroke he ran the head of Sanzo’s prick up against his own hard belly for even more friction. The monk growled low as his hips bucked against the bed in time with Gojyo’s motions. When Gojyo increased his tempo and pressure still more Sanzo dipped his head and sunk his teeth in the kappa’s neck, biting and sucking the sensitive skin even harder, the coppery tang of blood flooding his mouth.

Sanzo was lost in a place Gojyo had never expected him to go, and Gojyo was enthralled by the unexpected passion he was seeing revealed in this man that liked the world to think he was so cold and in control. This man in his arms right now was no longer the gruff cynical monk he had first met -when he looked up at Gojyo out of those hooded and night-dark violet eyes, Sanzo seemed to be the one who had yielded to his darker demon side that night. Gojyo almost wondered if the priest had surreptitiously been wearing youkai limiters and taken them one or two of them off, the change in him was so great. The monk that was normally in such absolute control had surrendered it, at least for this one night, to Gojyo and to his own needs.

The exquisite addition of the pleasure and pain from Sanzo’s hot mouth on his neck, combined with the feel of the monk’s stiff prick in his hand and seeing that look of sheer unadulterated ecstasy on his face, was more than enough for Gojyo at this point to make him lose what little restraint he had left. The kappa finally surrendered to the heat that was driving him and brought them both over the edge to their mutual ecstatic climax, grasping and moving their cocks together side by side until they each found their own explosive release accompanied by the spasms of the other, spraying their hot spends mixed together onto their hard bellies.

As Sanzo started to come he clutched at the kappa’s ass and long hair with both hands splayed and grasping. He felt the need to moor himself to something lest the earth lose its bonds on him completely and he hurtle off towards space. His mind and body were totally overwhelmed with waves of heat and electricity that went through him like balls of lightning rolling across the desert, and as the last waves hit him he growled out Gojyo’s name over and over.

A brilliant white light exploded behind Gojyo’s closed eyes as his spasms started, and his body was wracked from the cock outwards through all his extremities with shudders of intense pleasure. Through his ecstasy he heard as if from miles away a voice calling him back, and he opened his eyes to see Sanzo’s purple eyes fixed on his, wide-eyed and almost black. It surprised and pleased the kappa much more than he would have ever expected, to hear Sanzo cry out his name as he came. For some reason he felt his heart would burst at that sound, and he wanted to hear it again and again.

Gojyo pulled Sanzo close with his free arm and kissed him softly, then lay stock still and silent, holding their pulsing cocks in his hand for some time while their breathing and their racing heart rates slowly returned to normal. He was reluctant to let go of his embrace of the monk or his gentle grasp on Sanzo’s slowly shrinking member. It was as if he was afraid that letting go of any of those connections would break the spell and return them back to the normal lives they had resided in before this wonderful interlude together.

He was about to suggest that he get them both some tea or another beer and definitely their smokes when he heard a quiet snoring sound coming from Sanzo, and realized that the priest had neither moved nor uttered a sound since he last cried out Gojyo’s name at the end of his climax.

“Well I’ll be damned,” he chuckled softly to himself, “the bastard passed out on me!”

Smiling and shaking his head, the kappa gently extracted himself from his embrace with the sleeping man. He padded to the bathroom and got a warm wet washcloth and washed himself off, and came back to the bed and gently washed off the monk’s stomach. Pausing to admire the priest as he lay there, naked and by now snoring loudly, Gojyo mused about Sanzo, about the great man, and his pride, and wondered how much of this evening he would even remember. And how much he should tell him… He lovingly kissed the bouzu on his forehead, pulled the covers up around him, slipped on some silk drawstring pants, grabbed a pillow and blanket, and went to sleep on the couch.

Sanzo lit another cigarette as he sat on the park bench and reminisced about the night of the card game in Gojyo’s cabin. The last thing he remembered really clearly was somewhere after the card game, when he and the kappa had been sitting on the couch. He remembered the goddamn question, and that there was no way he could answer it without looking like a fool or a pussy, and he remembered drinking another beer or two while he tried to figure out how he was going to extricate himself from the situation. He recalled dimly Gojyo telling him to stand up, and he got dizzy for some reason, and then it all got very confused after that.

He knew he woke up the next morning in Gojyo’s bed, naked, with the hangover from hell, but then Gojyo was sleeping on the couch, and he wasn’t naked. When he took inventory of himself that morning, he didn’t appear to be any the worse for the wear, other than the effects of the alcohol. There were no obvious signs on him that any kind of hanky-panky had gone on, but then when Gojyo was sitting across from him at breakfast he noticed several bruises on his neck that looked like bite marks. When Sanzo asked him what they were, Gojyo just smiled cryptically.

“What- oh, these? Just mosquito bites.” They didn’t look like any mosquito bites Sanzo had ever seen.

Sanzo also knew whatever had or hadn’t happened between them, something had changed. From that day on he had really started having to fight his feelings of attraction for the damn kappa, feeling like he was in his blood like a goddamn disease. It was one of the reasons he had fought the Sanbutsushin when they had said he was supposed to take Gojyo along on this journey. That nagging feeling, accompanied by the erogappa’s incessant flirting, would certainly prove to be a constant irritant that Sanzo just did not need. Having to deal with the monkey day in and day out was irritant enough.

A rush of shame washed over Sanzo as he pictured Gojyo back in the bed in the hotel, nearly lifeless, and he thought about how he had ended up that way. Irritant or not, the kappa had a big heart, and that heart had latched itself onto Sanzo and cared for him a great deal. Shit! He had never asked him to love him! He had warned him not to, in fact. But the damned cockroach wouldn’t listen, he had to be a fucking hardhead. Always the hardheaded one… Sanzo shook his head, stubbed out his cigarette and looked up. The park around him was starting to get dark – he realized he had better get back to the hotel and help Hakkai with Gojyo before it got much later.


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Dear Hakkai,

I am so sorry to hear that Sha Gojyo’s condition has not significantly improved. Head injuries can among be the most difficult to diagnose and treat, and I am sure it is even more frustrating for you since you and Gojyo are such close friends. It must be quite dreadful for you. I will certainly conduct some in-depth research in my materials here to see if there are any remedies I may have overlooked that may be of assistance, and if I find anything I will let you know immediately.

Naturally Dokugakuji is quite concerned for his brother’s welfare. Despite their past squabbles, every time the subject of his brother comes up it is evident to me that Doku cares very deeply for Gojyo. He has requested, if you don’t mind, and the subject is not too painful for you, that I ask you for the details of how Gojyo sustained these injuries. I think he still feels a big brother’s responsibility for Gojyo, and it is important to him to know how his brother was hurt and at whose hands. If the subject is still too difficult to discuss, I would most certainly understand, but I did tell Dokugakuji I would broach the subject for him with you.

Along those same lines, Doku wishes very much to see his brother without any further delay, so with your kind permission we will be planning a trip to the village you are staying in sometime early next week. Our party will consist of Lord Kougaiji, Dokugakuji, and myself. Our intention is for Lady Lirin to remain here at Houtou Castle rather than travel with us. Given the stressful circumstances of our trip and her penchant for aggravating Priest Genjyo Sanzo, we think it prudent. I am assuming we will stay at least one or two days, depending on circumstances, and will take rooms at the same hotel at which your party is staying if at all possible, for the sake of convenience.

Please let me know if there is anything at all which you need for Sha Gojyo’s care that I may bring with us when we come. I look forward to seeing you despite the unfortunate circumstances and I remain,

Your humble servant,

Yaone



Chapter 5

Goku was glad to hear that the group from Houtou Castle was coming to visit. Maybe he and Kougaiji could go out in the courtyard and spar a little bit… He was actually getting stiff muscles from lack of exercise after sitting around so much since Gojyo had gotten hurt. In some ways it seemed to him like it had been years since that horrible day on the side of the mountain. He wished he could stop seeing it all go by over and over again in his head, and stop himself from spinning out all the different ways it could have gone “if only”… if only he had done this, if only he had known that… He was the strongest one in the party – he should have protected Sanzo from the goddamn shikigami. If any one of them had to be lying there hurt, it should be him, not Gojyo. If only he had gotten to the damn thing first, and not Gojyo, but the damn mountain road was so narrow and Gojyo had been ahead of him, he had been walking next to Sanzo. They had been doing that a lot before the accident.

Goku was no fool. He was around eighteen years old now in “human” years, not to mention the over five hundred years that he had really been around in one form or another. He knew stuff about sex, he had always been able to ask Gojyo questions when he had them, and the kappa had always given him honest answers, with no bullshit. He didn’t even tease Goku when Goku asked him about sex things – he just sat down with him and let Goku ask his questions and explained things in a way he could understand. When Goku had asked Gojyo about him and Sanzo, Gojyo had told him the truth. He had told him that they were having sex together and they really cared about each other. One day shortly before the accident Goku had asked Gojyo if they were in love, because he had noticed they were fighting with each other, and he knew people in love sometimes fought a lot. When Goku asked him that one, it was the only time the kappa ever didn’t give him a straight answer. He got a funny look and turned away, and shook his head, and he said, “I don’t know, Monkey. I honestly don’t know.”

Goku knew that Sanzo had been worried sick since Gojyo was hurt, and it seemed to him that it was more than just that he felt guilty about it. He watched Sanzo, day in and day out, keeping his vigil by the kappa’s bed, helping Hakkai with his care, not eating, barely sleeping. He saw Sanzo getting thinner, and paler, and he worried about him – he worried about him a lot. He knew Hakkai tried to get the monk to eat, and that Sanzo would probably listen to Hakkai more than he would to him, so he didn’t say anything.

Goku remembered Hakkai saying to him one time, “real maturity is when you learn to put the needs of others before your own needs.” He had been really lonely since Gojyo had gotten hurt… he missed the easy camaraderie he had with Gojyo, he missed having Hakkai looking out for his needs, and he missed not getting any attention at all from the center of his universe, Sanzo. But he also could see that he was not the one that was important right now. He knew that the most important thing was trying to take care of Gojyo and get him well. And after that came keeping Sanzo steady, and getting Hakkai whatever he needed to do his work as a healer. Goku knew that his needs paled in comparison to all of those, and he was really ok with that, it was as it should be.

Goku knew that if Gojyo survived there would be plenty of time for them all to spend together and for things to get back to how they used to be. He also knew that there was a chance that Gojyo might not make it; he had overheard Sanzo and Hakkai talking about it. He knew that if that happened Hakkai and Sanzo were going to need him, that they were going to be hurting really badly, and that he couldn’t be whining like a baby because he was hungry or he needed something, he had to be there for them.

So Goku hung back, took care of himself, and helped out whenever he could. When he was hungry he went to the café in the hotel and ate, he washed everyone’s clothes so Hakkai wouldn’t have to do it, he ran errands when Hakkai needed him to, and he mostly tried to stay out of Sanzo’s way. He sent Sanzo a message through Hakkai to let him know that he cared and he was worried, and that if Sanzo needed him, he would do anything he could. Whenever he saw Sanzo, looking reed-thin and so pale, his brow creased with worry, Goku would quietly say hello. He would usually gently reach out and touch his shoulder, and go on his way, even though what he really wanted to do was throw his arms around him and hug him really hard, but he knew that wouldn’t be good for Sanzo.

In the back of his mind he kept hearing this voice saying the same thing over and over like one of Sanzo’s Buddhist mantras. The meaning to him now was something completely different than it had been when he had first heard it, but the voice was always there, in his head, like the moan of a steady night wind across the desert. It was Homura’s dark rich voice, and it was urging him on, over and over again. “be strong, Son Goku, be strong…….



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Dear Yaone,

I am pleased to hear that you and your party there are planning a visit to see Gojyo soon. Although he is unconscious, there is, as you know, evidence that patients in comas can hear much of what goes on around them. I am encouraging Gojyo’s family here to talk to him as much as possible, and I am sure if his brother were to come to see him it would be most beneficial. Of course Goku and Kougaiji always seem to enjoy sharing their banter regarding their rivalry, and I would be quite pleased to see you to discuss herbal cures and the latest in natural healing methodologies of course. I have arranged for accommodations for your party here in the hotel for the dates you specified. I think you will find that while it is not luxurious it is nonetheless quite pleasant.

You mentioned that Dokugakiji wanted to know how Gojyo received his injuries. While it is still a painful subject, I can understand his desire to know and have no problem sharing it with you. Since Sanzo and to Goku (erroneously in mu humble opinion) both feel themselves responsible, I would appreciate it if you would let Dokugakuji know that should he desire any further clarification on this subject, he is welcome to speak with me in private during your visit or any time.

A little over two weeks ago now we were traveling on a mountainous stretch of road approximately twenty miles east of here. The road had gotten too narrow and too treacherous for Hakuryu to traverse so we were traveling on foot. Without warning we were quite suddenly ambushed from overhead by a large and gruesome beast that we have since determined was a shikigami. It headed directly for Sanzo - whether its purpose was Sanzo’s destruction or to obtain the Maten Scripture or both we are uncertain, but our leader was immediately knocked unconscious by the beast, and it obviously meant to kill him.

Being on the side of the mountain like that, there was very little room for maneuvering to fight the creature as we normally would, but somehow Gojyo managed to get to it very quickly and divert it from Sanzo. He went after it with his shakujou, its chain wrapped around the beast, and unfortunately when he managed to kill it and the creature went over the edge of the mountain it took Gojyo with it. He fell to the next ledge down which was nearly a one hundred foot drop, and it is only due to the sturdy youkai side of his constitution that our Gojyo is still with us at all.

Fortunately Sanzo was not seriously injured, and I was able to heal his injuries in short order. Gojyo, however, sustained a serious abdominal injury from the beast, as well as the head injury from the fall. To this day we do not know what the nature of the shikigami was, or why it was after Sanzo. The only thing remaining of the creature when it perished from the fatal effects of Gojyo’s shakujou was a small ivory carving of a fox. If not for that we might not have even known it was a shikigami, but we still have no clues as to its origins. We have some concerns that it or another similar monstrosity dispatched from wherever it issued may follow us here, but at the moment all we can really worry about is tending to our wounded.

If this letter is inappropriately casual, Yaone, you have my profound apologies. I am so worried about the fate of my dear friend, and about Sanzo and Goku as well, that I think the stress is having its effects on me as well. I’m sure you understand how the burdens of being the healer and the heavy responsibilities involved can take a heavy toll as time goes on. Some times I simply feel like getting into jippu along and just driving off into whatever direction Hakuryu decided to take us. (The poor little fellow has been going west so long he probably has forgotten that there are other directions!)

Isn’t that horrible of me, Yaone? Please forgive me for indulging in such self-pity and rampant self-disclosure here, but you are the only one I know who could truly understand what I am going through at the moment. Sometimes one just needs to let things out to another person, and somehow I feel confident that you will as always treat anything I say to you with your usual empathy and compassion.

Thank you once again for your kind assistance, and or all your help, Yaone. Even though I obviously so much wish it was under better circumstances, I truly am looking forward to your visit.

Very Sincerely,

Hakkai


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TBC