FicWad

Author's Note: This was written as a little birthday treat for my favorite monk - don't let the title fool you, the delight is every bit as much his as the kappa's! hg 11/29/97


THE KAPPA'S DELIGHT

It started out pretty much like any other night on our bizarre little journey to the west … As usual, the monkey and I fought over the egg rolls at dinner, and as usual Hakkai was the mellow peacemaker smoothing things over with the puzzled townsfolk in the restaurant. And also, as usual, the monk just sat there and drank his tea and threatened us with the fan or the gun, depending on how out of hand we got - all standard operating procedure. To tell the truth, I may have been a little more fractious than usual that evening, because I was just so fucking bored. B-O-R-E-D. See Sanzo, I can spell.
The inn we stayed in that night was small and fairly grungy, and there were only two rooms available. Hakkai was tired and decided he wanted to turn in early, and Sanzo strongly suggested that the monkey do the same, so they took one of the room keys, said their goodnights and headed upstairs.

“Tch. Not going on your usual night-prowling patrol?” the monk sneered at me with the usual disdain.
“Are you kidding?” I asked him. “Didn’t you see the same women I did when we drove into this sparrow fart of a town? I haven’t seen a single female yet under the age of sixty. Sha Gojyo likes the ladies, but I do have some standards.” I huffed. “Why, would you miss me?” I batted my eyes at him with my best seductive smile.

Sanzo and I had been tap dancing around each other for some time now. He was so fucking hard to read, and had so many damn walls around himself, he had me not knowing if I was coming or going. I hadn’t been interested in a guy many years, and I had absolutely no idea if Sanzo swung both ways. Hell, I had no idea if the damn monk swung at all. I had always flirted with him, and somewhere along the line there had started to be something behind it, at least on my part. Then it seemed like I started getting these mixed signals from him. One minute he would be whacking the holy hell out of me with that goddamn harisen, and next minute I could swear he was playing footsy with my leg under a café table, or staring at my ass. But then if I caught him at it, or said anything about it, he would look at me like I was a candidate for a straitjacket. I was beginning to think he was right.
There was this night a few weeks ago when Sanzo and I wound upin a bar together after dinner. We ended up having way too much to drink, and we both can hold a lot of liquor- we’ve proved that on more than one occasion. That night we were feeling particularly down after a long trying day of losing battles with that Homura bastard and his henchman, and we were in a mood to get really pissed. And we did. I realized Sanzo was more blitzed than I thought he was when he started to wobble around on his barstool. Then I started thinking - with Homura in the neighborhood, we couldn’t afford to get totally passed-out stoned drunk, especially here by ourselves, it just wouldn’t be smart. So I shepherded Sanzo back to our room before things got any more out of control. By the time we got to the room it was clear he was more wasted than I had realized, and I was pretty much the worse for the wear myself.

I took off the Scripture, rolled it up and put it away. I started helping him out of his robes, which wasn’t easy, as loosey-goosey as he was. I was working on those black sleeve things of his when he stood stock still, and got right up in my face.
In this real serious voice he said, “you have got the prettiest eyes, you know that?” and he reached up and stroked the scars on my cheek.

Man, you’d better believe that sobered me up real fast. Thank the gods for my youkai ability to handle alcohol better than humans can. (If you want proof of that one, just get in a drinking contest with Hakkai sometime.)
“You’re just drunk Sanzo. Let me get that other sleeve off.”

“No, really,” he said, waggling his finger at me for emphasis, “I look at them all the time when you don’t know I look them at you do.”
He attempted this very sober look, and it conflicted so much with his hideous grammar, I had to struggle not to laugh at him. For the monk to be so personal was so fucking unusual, it was too tempting not to press my advantage a little and question him just a wee bit.

“Oh you do, do you? Here, take this off.”

I tried to sound nonchalant as I worked at getting Sanzo’s black top off of him. I sat him down on the edge of the bed so I could get to his sandals and socks next. I kneeled next to him and looked up at him.
“What else do you look at, Sanzo?”
I asked him softly, not wanting to break whatever magic spell the booze had worked on him. This much self-revelation from old baldy was something that might never happen again.

“I look at your ass when you are walking away from me,” he hiccupped, “’scuse me. You have the greatest ass.” He nodded his head as if agreeing with himself.
“Why, thank you Sanzo,” I said, smiling, and shaking my head as I took off his sandals and socks, “that’s kinda nice to hear.”

I stood up and sat up next to him on the bed and looked at him as he wobbled around slightly where he sat. I wondered if I shouldn’t put a wastebasket next to the bed in case he got a major case of the urps later in penance for his sins this evening, but I had never known Sanzo to get the heaves before so I decided not to worry about it. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for one more peek into this rare look at the houshi’s psyche however, so I took it.
“So, Sanzo, is there anything else you’ve always wanted to tell me?” I asked him, as I looked him straight in those amazing violet eyes which right now were, admittedly, a bit watery with drink, not to mention all this rampant emotion he was indulging in.

“Nope,” he said pressing his lips together and shaking his head slightly, “but there is one thing I’ve always wanted to do…” and before I could even think about what he might have in mind, his lips were crushed to mine.
His bare muscular arms were snaked around me in an iron clasp. One of his hands had a fistful of my hair and was grasping it and holding my face to his. As the gods are my witnesses, he was kissing me like I was a deep well full of fresh spring water, and he was a man that had been lost in the desert for years.

After all those months of uncertain feelings of my own, there was no hesitation on my part to return the kiss, I can tell you that. I’m pretty much a creature of instinct anyway, and this just felt so right. As the monk pressed his sweet mouth to mine and sought my tongue with his, I felt a white heat that spread across my cheeks and sent a fireball down through my stomach and straight to my groin. Kissing Sanzo was like finding the final piece to the puzzle of Sha Gojyo - so many things just all fell into place for me at that moment. Paradise.

But in spite of myself, and how much I would have liked the embrace to go on forever, as we kissed, I had all these freaked-out thoughts running through my head. What do I do now? What do I say? Where do we go from here…?
When Sanzo finally allowed me to come up for air, I opened my mouth to start asking him what exactly he had in mind with all this, but he put his finger to my lips to silence me. He shook his head vigorously, stared deep into my eyes, and said only one thing.

“That’s what I’ve wanted to do to you for soooooo long. So long.”
And then he immediately fell back on the pillows and passed out stone cold, snoring loudly.

The next morning he was in a particularly vile mood, which is to be expected when one has the hangover from hell.
Shit, I wasn’t feeling particularly spiffy myself physically, but I was on cloud nine otherwise because I thought things were finally going to start happening between the monk and me, right?

Wrong. If he remembered anything at all, he was sure determined to act like he didn’t, because he was meaner than a scalded dog for the next couple of days. Poor Goku really took it on the chin, the poor kid.

Eventually things sort of leveled-out back to where they had been, and of course I, being the relentless water sprite that I am, never let up on him one bit. I teased him just as much as I had before, more actually. I think I started getting a little more blatantly suggestive, especially when it was just him and me – that was when I really cut loose. I could tell that he still had a thing for me, but I could also tell that he was having this little war with himself about it. I don’t know if it was the monk thing, or because he had been hurt when he had loved people before, or the gay thing. I also supposed it could have just been the way Sanzo was, with that infernal series of walls he insists on keeping around himself to keep everybody at arms’ length. But one thing I knew for sure was that he had some kind of feelings for me, and that he was fighting like hell with himself not to have them.
So we toddled along like that for a while until one night, a few weeks later, when we pulled into yet another little town and yet another inn. Once again there were only two rooms left, and when Sanzo announced that Hakkai and Goku would take one and he and I the other, my heart raced and I got this little electrical flip-flop feeling that ran from my stomach straight to my dick. Once again, I had more affirmation that I was in trouble where my feelings for the bouzu was concerned, because trolling for chicks didn’t even occur to me that night.

After dinner I high-tailed it back to the room, saying I was tired and I just wanted to clean up and rest a little. The gang looked puzzled, but said they goodnight and let it go. I went up to the room, took a shower, shaved, put on a little of my good cologne, and got dressed in some fresh silk boxers, jeans, and a white tank top to show off my tan and my muscles to my best advantage. I set the lights in the room at make-out level and put a little mood music on the radio, and sat down at the table with my heart in my throat to wait for Sanzo to come in,. After about a half an hour, I started to get bored so I fished out my cards and started to play a few hands of solitaire, or at least I tried to, but I really couldn’t concentrate.
About forty-five minutes later old baldy comes sauntering in. Seems he and Hakkai had a couple of beers in the bar.

“Turn some goddamn lights on in here. What is this, a fuckin’ cave?” he snarls.

“Yes, your majesty,” I said sarcastically and bowed to him as I turned on another light, “would your majesty be wanting anything else?”
“What is that fucking smell?” he snapped.

Now that pissed me off, as he could only have been referring to my cologne. Hakkai had to special order the stuff for me, I paid mega-money an ounce for it, and the chicks went crazy for it. At that point I decided that both he and the high horse that he rode in on could just go fuck themselves sideways. I went back to my solitaire and started slapping my cards down on the table like the whole thing was their fault.

“I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed.”
Like I give a shit, “Fine.”

“Fine” All exchanged in nearly-threatening grunts and growls.
So then he had his valise up on his bed and was fumbling through it, cursing a blue streak, flinging clothes all over the place, obviously frustrated as all hell.

“Do you have a problem?” I asked him, trying to sound as if I gave a rat’s ass, NOT.
“If you must know, I’ve been having trouble with my skin being dry,” he snarled, “and Hakkai got me some special soap and lotion, and I can’t fucking find it. Goddamn it to all hell… oh, there it is.”

He pulled out a bar of soap and a small bottle of lotion and put the lotion on the bedside table. He stuffed all his clothes back into his valise, shoved it under the bed, and stomped off to the shower without a word.
I heard – and tried to ignore – the usual sounds of him undressing and the shower running. I felt the humidity level in the room increase slightly as the steam crept out around the barely-closed door. As soon as it hit my nose, something wild started to happen. It was like all my senses started to go on hyper-alert, particularly those that had anything to do with sex. My mouth started to water as if I was about to dive into the most appetizing meal ever prepared, and my nostrils flared like a goddamn bloodhound on a trail. And as if that wasn’t enough, goose bumps rose up on my skin all over every inch of my body, and my dick immediately started to get hard as a rock. And I had not one goddamn clue in the world why any of it was happening. All I knew, as sure as my name was Sha fucking Gojyo, was that as soon as that man came out of that bathroom I was going to have him and I was going to have him goooood. No ifs, ands or buts. Well… maybe some butts.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl while I waited for Sanzo to come out of that bathroom. The longer he stayed in the shower – and the bastard takes long damn showers – the more intense the cravings got. I finally was so sure of what I was going to do that I gave up all pretense and shucked my clothes down to my boxers, and put the “do not disturb sign” on the door and double-locked it. I was locked and loaded for Sanzo like a goddamn feral cat stalking its helpless prey. I wasn’t messing around, and I wasn’t going to toy with him either.
When Sanzo finally emerged from the bathroom – wrapped only in a towel, thank the gods - I hurled myself at him like a goddamn football fullback. Before he could say a word to protest I had my mouth on his like white on rice and I didn’t let him come up for air until I had carried his houshi ass to the bed like a June bride. When he started to give me a ration of shit then, I clamped my mouth on his cock so sweetly that nothing else came out of his mouth from then on but a few “Oohs” and “aaahs” and “Oh Gojyo’s.” I could have practically devoured him whole; the smell of his skin was absolutely driving me insane. I was in a madman’s torture of ecstasy by then. My eyes were slotted with lust, and I was relentless in my pursuit of pleasure with the monk, both giving and receiving it. Time stopped as we wallowed and reveled in a paradise of each other’s skin and hands and mouths and swollen cocks, and the room grew heavy with the smells of our lovemaking and our sweat.

After a few rounds of mouth and hand play for both of us, I knew there was nothing for it but to fuck his sweet pretty ass. Sanzo was so easy at that point; it didn’t take a whole lot of convincing. Since it was his first time, I wanted to be as gentle as absolutely possible – no pain for my Cherry-Chan. Fortunately, I remembered he had left that bottle of lotion on the bedside table, and I reached for it. I was already getting pretty hard again, but as soon as I opened that bottle of lotion and got a whiff of it, my cock turned to fucking stone, and it was all I could do not to go off again just putting the stuff on myself. I think, if Sanzo had simply touched me, I would have come right then and there.
I took my sweet time getting him ready, as much to give myself a chance to calm down as to get him relaxed so it would feel as good to him as possible on his first time. But I swear to the gods, every time I got a whiff of that goddamn lotion, it was like I was a male dog and a little bitch in heat walked by waving her ass at me… I just went fucking nuts. Poor Sanzo got a real baptism by fire that night, he did. But I gotta give the houshi credit. He stayed with me through and through, and as far as I could tell he loved every freaky minute. He certainly never once told me to stop, and that has never been one of Sanzo’s problems, telling somebody “no” about anything.

Later that night, or more accurately early that morning because by then the sky was tinged pink and gold with the dawn, I was lying there with Sanzo cradled in my arms, watching the poor exhausted man sleep. I was still so wired; I doubted I could sleep at all. Whatever this thing was that had been affecting me, it was easing up some, but I still felt very jazzed and like all my senses were on hyper-alert. It had been a bit of a struggle getting Sanzo to cuddle up with me as he went to sleep, but I could tell by the particular way he called me an “idiot” as he caved in to me, that he actually liked it.
I realized I had to take a leak and I carefully eased myself out from under him and went into the bathroom. As I stood there, I happened to glance over at the counter, and I saw the paper wrapper from Sanzo’s new soap that he had used earlier that evening - before I had jumped his bones. Something prickled at the edges of my mind as I saw the words there both in kanji and script on the green and white paper, and a faint but tantalizing smell wafted up to me from the torn paper as I stood looking down at it.

“Guan Yin’s Green Tea and Cucumber Formula for Sensitive Skin.”
“Cucumbers! Holy Shit! Maybe I’m really am a goddamn water sprite!”

Then I thought about the events of the evening.
“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing, after all…”

~owari~

Author’s Note: For any who may not know, Guan Yin is the Chinese name for the Merciful Goddess, or Kanzeon Bosatsu. Also, water sprites, or kappa’s as everyone is so fond of calling Gojyo, are figures from Japanese mythology that have a decided weakness for cucumbers. One story says that to capture a water sprite, you just need to throw a cucumber at them with your name carved in it.