FicWad

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

September 1718
Southwest Coast of Florida

“You cannot continue this way, Lili,” Etienne said. “It is not healthy in one so young and passionate.”

My sexual activities, or rather, lack thereof had become a frequent topic between us since we’d put into harbor here three weeks ago. We’d established a base of operation months past using an abandoned Spanish castillio at the mouth of a small harbor. Our crews had enjoyed abundant game and bounty from the sea. I’d arranged for a large group of professional ladies of pleasure to meet me at Key West, then brought them here. For the next few weeks, they would savor the food, drink and flesh before we returned to Tortuga, then headed to sea to further ply our trade.

“Why don’t you sneak off somewhere with Walks Softly instead of nagging me like a woman.” I swallowed rum and turned to gaze out at the ships, rather than the open air merry-making in the courtyard below. Gato sat nearby, his glossy coat stretching over maturing muscle.

“Because I told him I was going to talk some sense into you,” he shot back. “Merde, Lili. Gamboa would sweep you away to bed at merest invitation. He might even try uninvited did he catch you without your weapons. It would be best if the first time was with a friend.”

I kept silent, unwilling to admit how my body burned. We knew James lived. Dreams of dark gold male skin and the scent of ambergris taunted me. I awoke shaking, the remembered taste of his mouth in mine.

Gamboa’s solicitous, courtly manner and palpable sexual desire kept me on edge. It required effort to appear unmoved by him. Over four months since I’d last made love. My body wanted. My mind balked at the idea of another lover, any lover except James.

I stared at the Lilith Scorned, once his, now mine. With her black hull and merman figurehead, she looked little like the ship that once bore the name Vengeance. A woman in Tortuga had sketched the design for the figurehead with my direction. Not surprisingly, he had turned out with slanted eyes and cheekbones. Walks Softly had noticed the resemblance at once. If anyone else had, they said nothing.

The Lilith’s sister ships swayed on the swells nearby. Once the Cleopatra and Nefrititi, they now carried the names Sanguine Queen and Harlot’s Virtue. Etienne captained the Queen, while my brother handled the Harlot. We’d already taken enough gold and goods off trade vessels to settle down and buy houses. Yet, I did not believe any of us ready for a very early retirement.

Even as we stood there, I saw Gamboa walking up the cochina walk from the harbor. As if he sensed me, he lifted his head and gazed up at me. He waved and continued.

I downed my rum in two hard pulls and set the cup on the wall. “I think I shall speak to Eza then call it an early night.”

#

By the time I located Eza, the rum had taken effect. Seeing my brother pressing her against a wall, kissing as if he intended to eat her sparked my frayed temper.

“A moment, please.”

Christopher released her with plain reluctance. “Good evening, Lili.”

The girl glowed all the time from his constant attentions. It made me seethe with jealousy at moments such as this, despite my true happiness at theirs. “There have been two fights among the working ladies over Gamboa. I am for bed, and would like to leave handling such matters to you.”

“Of course,” she agreed. “Are you unwell?”

“I am fine. Just tired. I shall see you in the morning.”

I walked back down the long main gallery, Gato trotting along beside, and we climbed the stairs. My door stood at the end of the hall. Etienne leaned against the wall beside it. Sparked temper became rum-fueled anger. “Goddamn it! Spare me further instruction on the potential ramifications of not getting fucked.”

The door opened and Walks Softly grasped my wrist and pulled me inside. Candles burned, casting flickering light. Stunned, I stared at him as I heard Etienne close the door.

“What the Devil is this,” I demanded.

“You have yet to mourn him, “ Walks Softly replied. “I won’t see you poisoned the same as he.” I began to feel uneasy as he kissed me on the forehead. “Accept my gift.”

He turned me and Etienne took me in his arms. Against my hair he whispered, “Trust us, cher.”

That ‘us’ disturbed me greatly, as I distinctly heard Walks Softly close the door and someone else bolt it. Etienne turned me and I pressed back to him. Gamboa, shirt open, hair loose walked from the door to me. The anger returned. I fought as if my life hung in the balance. Each time I swung and connected with male muscle, hands would soothe me, low murmurs would reassure. I swore and rebelled until my lungs ached. Somehow I was on the bed, lying beside Etienne, my head pillowed upon his arm and Gamboa coming down atop me.

Etienne smoothed my hair back from my face. Transfixed, I kept very still as Gamboa’s weight pressed me. My heart began to pound dreadfully. I had boarded ships and felt less fear. Etienne turned my face to his. His amber eyes glowed and the tenderness in his face slowly registered in my mind.

“You know I would never do anything to harm you. I love you. We all do in our own ways.”

Gamboa lay half atop me, his body creating a barrier the same as Etienne’s. I looked at him, assessing, alert. Desire stamped every line of his handsome face as he brought it closer to mine. I reached up to push him away. Etienne stayed me, whispering in French.

The touch of Gamboa’s mouth made me flinch. He caressed my face and neck, awakening nerves that had screamed for such stimulation for months. I kept thinking ‘no’. Somehow my lips parted and I let him into my mouth. He groaned, delving into me with palpably tenuous restraint.

My wits scattered. Etienne bared my body and Gamboa came along in his wake, tasting me, touching me. I heated inside, steadily and against my will. When his fingers gently touched me there at my wet core, my entire body shook. His mouth followed and I jerked. “No!”

He held my hips still, Etienne held me down with an arm across my shoulders.

Gamboa’s restraint snapped. He feasted on me and in a very short time, the stimulation won out over emotional distress. I climaxed and buried my face in Etienne’s chest to sob. He embraced me more tightly. Gamboa rose from the bed. I heard him undressing, myself crying, begging Etienne to stop this. Then Gamboa’s hands returned to my body and the tears slowly ebbed. The pleas became moans. But at the moment the wide tip of him touched me, I panicked.

He kissed me long and soothingly, held my face in his hands and gazed into my eyes. “I understand. It’s all right.”

His big hard body felt so good. Even though it was not the one I had so long craved. He eased into me, and I saw in his expression the strain his patience caused. He held back the lust I sensed boiling in him, making love to me with great care until my hips began to lift beyond my control and I forgot everything save the storm of sensation ravaging me.

This time when I peaked, I did not cry. He held me to him with fierce possessiveness as he exploded within me. Etienne quietly left the bed. The sound of the door closing made me open my eyes and return to myself. I felt awkward and ashamed.

Gamboa lifted his forehead from mine and gazed down and me with those bright eyes. Tenderness softened them. He kissed me, keeping himself inside of me, and murmuring, “Do not pull away from me. I could not bear it.”

I realized then that though my heart had died, my body had not. Either I became celibate, or I gave myself permission to have pleasure. I fought and risked my life the same as my men. Why not enjoy the same privileges of the flesh?

“Diego?”

That brought his head up, captured his complete attention.

I gathered my courage. “Burn him from me.”

Restraint vanished. He ravished my mouth, swelled hard and hot within me, hammering away at me like a battering ram. My body responded generously and throughout the night I climaxed more times than I could count.

At dawn I rose, bathed quickly and quietly behind the screen. I emerged, dressed, hair braided, to find him sitting at the bed’s edge, feet on the floor. He was brown and beautiful. A stunning sight. I appreciated it, yet remained unmoved.

“I do not suppose I could convince you to come back to bed?”

I had to set things straight. “I might roll around under you at night. But during the daylight and in public, there shall be naught but behavior befitting colleagues.” I realized Gato’s absence and glanced around.

He explained it. “We agreed given the reaction you would likely give, that Walks Softly should take the animal when he departed.”

“Such conspiracy,” I marveled, not looking forward to facing the other conspirators. Because, they had known what I needed when I had not.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

The crews reveled in their celebrations. I could not. My being became heavier every day. At night I ripped James from me, purged him with another man’s pleasure-giving, only to awake with his memory back deeper than before. It had gone better before, when my body remained unsatisfied.

Diego adored me with actions and words. He lost himself in loving me, pledging his devotion every night, watching me with his bright, hungry eyes during the day.

A week and a half into the liaison, I went for a walk on the beach with Gato. Up in the distance, I saw Walks Softly. I broke into a run, tears streaming down my face. He turned, saw me and strode to meet me. I fairly leaped into his arms, wailing in a manner that would ruin my growing reputation as a marauder.

“He’s out there. Alive.” I knew I made no sense. “I can’t kill the love. I buried it, tried to replace the pleasure. But he won’t die in me.”

He held me tight. My friend, my safety. I could tell him things I could never share with my own brother. I dragged his scent into my lungs and squeezed him tight.

“I hoped you might find love again with Gamboa,” he admitted huskily. “At least find peace.”

“James broke my heart! He used me and discarded me!”

I could tell my pain caused him pain by the strain in his voice. “What can I do?”

To that I wept harder and began to shake violently. “How can you not hate me for shooting him?”

“I was there and heard what he said, knew what he had become. As I removed that ball from his chest and stitched his flesh, he said terrible things to me. I realized the time had come when I could no longer walk the dark path with him.” He held me tighter. “We guarded each other’s lives in battle many times. Still, the debt I owed was repaid when I kept your shot from his heart.“ For a moment he fell silent. My sobs subsided to jerking breaths. The sound of surf and wind surrounded us. “And, I could never hate you.”

After a while, I quieted and realized I sat in his lap on the sand. “I spend a great deal of time thusly.”

“I shall not complain. It is the only time I know you are completely safe.”

“What should I do about Diego?” I reached out to pet Gato. He sat very close, gaze fixed upon me.

“That’s your decision.”

I tugged on a hunk of my friend’s shiny hair. “You made decisions for me all too freely when you concluded I needed ravished.”

“I knew it would make you grieve. My hope was for a purging.” He leaned his forehead against my temple. “Have you given him a chance?”

I felt caught. Of course I had not. The wall around my inner self remained firmly intact. “Mayhaps not as much as I might.”

“He loves you deeply. He was ready to fight James, Etienne, your brother, myself and the entire island to see you safe.”

“He touches me, and it gives me pleasure. Still, it does not feel right. Not as with James.” Admitting it opened a bitter bloom of sadness in me.

“I want you happy, Lili.”

I wanted to sail for Tortuga, attend my business there and then get back to the sea.

My new home.



That night I filled a big mug with rum, and Gato and I went for a walk along the lip of the harbor. I stood, staring at the moonlight slanting into the Gulf and swallowed three or four long pulls.

From behind me, Diego spoke. “Darkness is my time, mi alma. What sends you from me?”

He called me ‘my soul’. I reached down to stroke Gato’s broad head. The cat’s presence gave me comfort. “Restlessness.”

“Would that I were that animal. To be loved and kept close to you every moment.”

I shook my head as he walked around in front of me. “Gato pisses in a box aboard ship. Is that your desire?”

“You are my desire. My happiness, my Heaven.” His features seemed harsher in the moonlight. “Let me row you out to the Folly. The swells will rock us as we make love.”

I found myself wishing for sensual oblivion, forgetfulness. “Gato?”

He stepped closer, caressing me, whispering kisses over my face. “Your pet is welcome on my ship.” Taking my mug, he finished the libation, tossed the vessel aside, and swung me into his arms. As he carried me to the dock, he stopped once to stare down at me and vow, “I would do anything for you.”

Gato, now an old hand, leapt into the boat without hesitation. I sat watching the lunar sparkle on the black water as we traveled out to the craft. An unexpected memory of the way the fields around my family’s manor looked covered in snow returned to me. It seemed a separate lifetime ago, another person’s recollection.

“You’ve no idea what I would give to know what transpires in that lovely head.”

I continued to watch the way the light caught on the liquid silk ripple of the nighttime water. At the ship, two of his personal guards raised our boat. I knew they would rather die than reveal their captain’s secrets, so I had no reason to concern myself. We went straight to his quarters. No sooner than the door closed, his mouth found mine.

Much later, I sat up, the same restiveness troubling me.

A big warm hand touched my hip. “Every time I am inside you is a privilege. But, I never truly touch you, do I, mi alma?”

#

By the time we made sail for Tortuga, my restless discontent had grown to epic proportions. As Florida receded in the distance, I smiled. Off our starboard, the wink of a glass flashed and I knew Gamboa watched me.

I snatched my kerchief from my belt and tied it on my head. Walks Softly stood at my side, feet braced wide against the rocking of the ship. Only loud enough for him to hear, I complained, “Must that man’s eyes find me every moment?”

“You carry his heart in your hands, Lili. A wise man would keep you in his sight.”

Temper baited, I snarled, “’Tis not his heart that motivates this scrutiny.”

He chuckled. I glared at him, intending it to freeze his blood. Yet, in his sparkling eyes and white smile, I saw the foolishness of my anger and laughed as well. After a few moments, Walks Softly said, “When we make port, I must replenish my medical stores, and create more of your tonic.”

I had continued taking the contraceptive even when celibate due to the threat of possible rape in battle. Since allowing Diego into my bed, I swallowed the stuff with fervor. “Aye. I require a barrel.”

He gave me a playful slap on the back and then his scrutiny sharpened. In his best First Mate bark, he ordered. “Look lively! Turn to that main sail!”

The wind favored us. We sailed quickly and without incident to Tortuga. Diego had sold his other ships and the payment waited with bankers at Port Royal. As my brother had yet to formally break with our family, he continued to enjoy extracting funds there as well. We had made plans for Christopher and Diego to stopover in Jamaica after we concluded our business here.

“Do you see the Justo Vento,” I queried as we drifted into the farthest outreach of the harbor to drop anchor. Gato paced, growling quietly in anticipation of putting foot to dry land.

Walks Softly’s keen gaze scanned the moored ships for the vessel of the captain who had boasted his intentions to steal me and turn me into his slave. Captain Aguia, as he called himself, was a cutthroat with a neck-saving letter of marque. He dealt in human sale and trade as boldly as any Barbary Coast corsair, yet managed to retain the Portuguese government’s stamp of approval. Rumor held his father occupied some office and had the monarch’s ear. Whatever the circumstance, we all agreed that the time fast approached when we might meet the captain and several of his confederates in open battle. Our business here consisted of gathering intelligence to use against our enemy.

“I do not see the Justo Vento. However ..”

Before he could continue, I spotted it. A refitted ship, cleverly amended, stood at anchor in the harbor. I recognized it at once as the Dover’s Honor, of the late Huntington and Mallory. Even as I hoped some trade might have brought the ship and its new, unknown owner to this port, I accepted the glass Mr. Street handed me and read her name. Dangerous Beauty. It left not a whit of doubt who sailed the craft.

James.

For the first time in many months, my heart seemed to begin to beat. A rush of sensations swept me, not the least of which was desire. Anger, bitterness, apprehension and passion swirled through my blood in a heady current. I forced myself to regain control. If he sought me out for revenge, let him try. Mayhaps this time he’d not make the mistake of underestimating me.

“What are your orders?” Walks Softly asked.

“I intend to conduct my affairs as planned. Drop anchor and assign guard rotation for the ship. We go ashore.”