FicWad

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

I spun around, thinking only to remove him from sight. The sudden movement made my balance almost fail. I hid the weakness. He closed the door and I heard the bolt slide home.

Controlling my tone, I asked, “What do you expect to accomplish with this?”

“Equality. You saved my life, I saved yours. You were at my mercy, now I am at yours.”

I fought my response to the hushed, gentle quality of his voice. “I put a ball in your chest, conscripted your crew and stole your ship.”

“I hurt you enough you wanted to do harm in return.” I heard him step closer and the sound of the chains made me wince. “For all my months plotting punishment upon you, I can no longer desire anything save what I had and foolishly discarded.”

Flame-hot anger seared me. I faced him. “I am to hand my heart back to you and forgive all?”

His intense expression showed honesty and a tenderness I could not bear. “I can only speak for myself. I give you my heart without reservation.”

What I would have sacrificed to hear those words in the days following the battle at his island. Now that I had grieved and suffered, made a life without him, he offered them. Part of me wished to surrender without firing a shot. But, I had fought too hard and traveled too far for that. I would fight. For that I needed a combatant. I walked around him, eyeing the restraints. Normally I hated them, associated them with enslavement. At the moment, I found them appealing for the same reason.

“As gestures go,” I drawled, my blood beginning to heat, “this is a grand one.”

“Flowers are a gesture. I have chained myself.”

“So you have.” I walked to my weapons chest, took out a long knife and cut his shirt from him. Lust, swift and potent filled me. My self-preservation instincts screamed for me not to touch him. Unfortunately, I did not seem to pay them any heed. I could not resist running my hand down his back, coveting the prominent brawn under dark gold, warm skin. My belly fluttered. I would see to what extent his docile acceptance extended.

Catching hold of the length of chain between his cuffed hands, I led him to the bed. Gato leapt down obligingly. Around the strong column of James’ throat, on a chain, hung a set of two keys. It would surprise me greatly did they not release his fetters.

I had removed my boots earlier, though I did not disrobe. Gazing up at him, I suddenly wanted my skin bare. I tugged the chain like a leash with one hand, and pulled his head down to me with the other. His lips closed over mine without courtship and the bewitching pleasure spread like Greek fire. He groaned. I shivered.

“Undress me.”

He did, pushing me to the mattress, pressing his mouth to every bit of flesh he bared, drawing upon me, tasting me. Once in a while, cool metal would slide over my flushed skin and I could not stifle my cries. My nipples tightened until they ached, and under his hungry attention they sent mixed signals of pain and pleasure. I held his head to me, twined my legs around his.

“I want you inside me.”

He brought his lips to mine, kissing me until I felt quite dizzy even lying down. Lifting his head a fraction, he gazed into my eyes. “Release me, then. Forgive me and let the punishment cease.”

I rubbed my breasts against his chest, ran my hand over his hair. That rebellious lock, longer now, fell forward. My heart twisted. Unwelcome tenderness weakened my will. I struggled to recall the reasons I should deny him my love and trust. I reached between us and opened his breeches, in a heartbeat I held him in my hand, huge and silky-hot. I heard James’ breath catch. “I know you want this as much as I. Fuck me.”

He stroked my jaw. “I want you so badly it hurts.”

Before I could stop myself, I snapped, “Stop using that tone with me! Yell or curse. Anything but that!”

His expression changed and I knew I was done for. “Fighting me keeps your heart safe.” He flexed strongly in my hand and my body clenched in response. “Release me, Lili. Release yourself.”

My emotions exploded, anger burned along with passion, fear raced through my blood in tandem with hope. My hands shook terribly as I reached for the chain around his neck. I lifted it, tears beginning to blur my vision. James rolled to sit up at the bed’s edge. I sat up, rattling the key against the cuffs as I opened them. Then, I leaned down and plied the other key to his shackles. I straightened slowly, meeting his eyes.

Between one heartbeat and the next, I was on my back, legs over his arms. That first exquisite thrust made me call his name and hold him tight. He shuddered and pressed himself to my core. I had never been so naked. I laid my soul and heart bare to him and he did the same. He made love to me with ferocious sweetness and when the pleasure overcame us, we climaxed looking into each other’s eyes.

I had forgotten the way my body broke apart with him. The satisfaction and libidinous fire surprised me anew. I clutched him, holding onto what seemed the last solidity.

I know not how much time passed before I slowly roused to lazy caresses. The unguarded expression on his face sent a sharp twinge of tenderness to my heart. He lay on his side, propped upon a bent elbow as he touched me. As I had slept, he’d removed his breeches and lit more candles.

His expression sharpened abruptly. “Damn me for a jackass. Lili, turn onto your belly and let me see that wound.”

“It is fine,” I murmured, languid with the aftermath of passion.

He flipped me over nonetheless, and I began to doze under his gentle touch. “I should be whipped. You’ve bled.”

I smiled, drifting on a cloud of contentment. “Those chains can go back on and I will make myself equal to the task.”

He slapped my bottom and I purred. Affection softened his words. “Shameless baggage.”



CHAPTER FORTY-TWO


I rose early. James woke, looking to me. “I but take Gato out,” I told him. The scent of our lovemaking haunted the air. Faint sounds of industry rose from the lower levels.

He bounded from the bed and pulled on his breeches. “I shall see to that. You rest.”

“I am no fragile flower, James.” I could not help but find pleasure in his concern.

“I know this. But your wound bled thrice last night because of our play. Allow me a salve to my guilt.”

I argued no further. Gato balked, gazing at me. “Go on with you.” I watched them depart and went to see to my personal needs in their absence.

Although the swelling on my skull had reduced, sudden movements still caused a bit of dizziness. And when I bent over, at times it made my vision swim. This morning I had a twinge of a headache, doubtless more due to lack of sleep than the injury. I swallowed my dose, cleaned my teeth and realized I had not eaten the evening meal yester night.

Some time later as I lolled indolently abed, I heard James’ deep laughter. He opened the door and Gato loped in, shaking himself. I smelled the sea air on them.

Good humor cast a glow upon James as he pointed to my pet. “That animal believes itself a fish. I wondered I might have to wade into the sea to fetch him.”

I smiled. “There is a tide pool down the beach a way. I swam there often when we first discovered this place. Gato refused to let me stray so far, and began paddling out with me.”

James went to the pitcher and basin waiting on the marble-topped table across the room. He washed his naked upper body, saying, “I doubted the wisdom of your taking in that creature. Clearly you have made an excellent pet.” He dried with a wide cloth left folded nearby by Eza. “You must have much pride in him.”

“I consider him a friend.” My belly quivered as I watched my lover walk to me. Of a sudden, my gaze fixed upon the satiny-white scar on his chest and I felt quite ill. I vacated the bed and raced behind the screen. Even as my gullet heaved, I gave thanks to Eza. Since her morning sickness began, she insisted upon placing two chamber pots in each of our quarters. I could only imagine did I have to hover over something besides a clean vessel.

Big hands curved over my shoulders. I shoved at him, gasped, “Leave me.”

“I will not.” He gathered back my hair and held it in one hand. Curved his other over my forehead.

Miserable and ashamed at his seeing me like this, tears formed. I shut my eyes hard, heard him open the little cabinet. With a soft, clean cloth he wiped my mouth. I twisted away, avoided his eyes as I shoved to my feet, cleaned my teeth and rinsed my mouth.

He stood. In a calm voice, he asked, “Do you carry Gamboa’s child?”

I wished he would rant and smash things rather than address me so kindly. “Nay.”

“What ails you, sweet?”

I dragged in a jerky breath. “I could have killed you.” The tears dripped onto my breasts as I stood, staring at the screen.

He forcibly turned me and tilted back my head. Those tropical eyes had gone stormy and fierce. “I live. I forgive you. Release the guilt as you released me.”

I sobbed, squeezed my eyes closed again.

“Look at me.” Sovereign command dwelt in those few words. I obeyed. Despite his temper, I saw the tenderness in his face as he said, “That day is done. We shall live for now and tomorrow.”

I nodded. As if to further my embarrassment, my belly growled.

James smiled: white, warm, devastating. “That’s my girl. Quick to recuperate.”

#

We went down to the hall together. I felt rather exposed and still unsteady. James kept his hand at my waist. Etienne, Walks Softly and Christopher rose from their places to greet us. Less that two score of the mayhaps two hundred men inhabiting the castillio had risen and mustered to break their fast. A lesser audience suited me. Walks Softly’s gaze snagged mine and I knew what he asked. I nodded and relief seemed to sigh out of him. He had wondered if all was well with me.

To James, I whispered, “What will the men think of your coming to me chained?”

“Mr. Levit and I carried them in a sack to your door. Only he knows the whole of it, and in his words prefaced with ‘all due respect’, he said it the very least I could do.”

I smiled at that. “Good man.”

We dined with my brother, Etienne and Walks Softly on a meal of fried corn cakes and fish. I felt quite restored by the victuals and camaraderie. My indian friend had to examine my wounds and scold me over the abuse to my back. James accepted blame. Etienne apprised him of the initial strain to it caused by my beating the slaver captain. James stared at me a moment, lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. He continued to hold it in his, and as we sat drinking tea, I found myself enjoying the affectionate gesture.

We planned a bonfire in the courtyard for that night. I arranged for Eza to oversee getting a cooking gang together. Among our crews, about a dozen men and women enjoyed preparing food for the lucky rest of us. Lobsters, crabs, fish, geese, tomatoes, carrots and cucumbers brought from Tortuga, rice cooked a variety of ways, and cornbread baked with cheese and spices would fill our bellies. I put a band of strong backs to loading rum and ale barrels into the old powder magazine to cool.

Midday, James came striding from the hall of the castillio. I stood with Gato at my side, directing table setup and wood assembly for the blaze. I watched him, feeling rather breathless and girlish as he approached. Something in me whispered mine, mine.

“Every place I have gone seeking you,” he murmured, drawing me to him in a possessive manner, “I am told you have just departed.”

“There is much to accomplish before the merry-making.”

I recognized my own words returned to me when he answered. “They can do without you for an hour.”

He led me along until we reached the top of the stairs, then swung me into his arms. I felt compelled to comment, “Every time you do this, I think you must consider me bounty carried to your lair.”

James shifted my weight, opened the door. I reached to lock it door in our wake. My pet trotted to his bed and flopped happily into it. A moment later I found myself abed as well. We stripped each other with equal haste. Playfully, I reached to intercept James’ mouth as he moved impatiently down my body. The game became quite erotic as he tried to get at the wet flesh between my thighs. His tongue dipped between my fingers, sought to plunder underneath. I became overwhelmed with lust almost at once, and had a great deal of difficulty maintaining my side of the sport.

“Here is my prize,” he said huskily. He teased that sensitive nubbin and I could not catch my breath. “Your jewel, my treasure.”

Unimpeded now, he made his way back up my quivering body. He slid deep into me, staring down at me with some primitive fire in his eyes, thrust by thrust coaxing my legs up and over his shoulders until I lay wide open and receptive.

“Tell me.” His voice made me shiver with the authoritative command.

I knew what he wanted, and it did not occur to deny him. “I love you.”

His expression softened a bit. “And I you.”

I climaxed quickly. He held me, soothed me with caresses that soon made me circle and lift my hips, availing myself of the generous, rigid heat inside me. This time, he plunged with me into sexual nirvana.

My men did without me for more than the space of an hour.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

At sunset, Mr. Street and Mr. Levit lit the fire and the festivities commenced. I sat on a spread blanket between James bent legs, leaning back against his chest drinking brandy from his personal stores. The crews’ spirits ran high. Platters of sliced goose, chunks of lobster and whole crabs speckled with spices already weighed down tables. Offerings of cucumbers and tomatoes waited as well; welcome freshness for men who often ate much salted pork at sea. Cheeses, steaming cornbread and fruit rounded out the selections. Later, Eza would bring out a variety of puddings made with cocoa, vanilla, cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg. We as captains enjoyed reputations for taking pains to keep fresh stores and in far more generous amounts than most all others. All the same, I tried to treat them to something special when I could.

James’ hands rarely left me. He stroked my nape and throat, caught my hand to play idly with my fingers, and rubbed the base of my skull where a little ache was want to settle. Walks Softly came to sit with us for a while and I noted the ease between the men. With the events well behind me, my assessment became far clearer. The position I had placed Walks Softly in could have proven far more painful. Then again, I had not set the original chain of events into place. I could dwell on many choices I had made. Yet no amount of it would change a whit of the outcomes. And, had not every choice, each twist and change brought me to this moment?

Several of the men from Etienne’s Queen came out with their instruments and the gathered revelers crowed. Two violins, a flute, a clan drum and piper from Scotland, and one tenor I knew and loved took their places and warmed-up.

James handed me the goblet of brandy we shared. I cupped it in my hand, watching the fire, listening to the musicians and thinking how he had brought ashore much brandy, though presented the single drinking vessel. We had always shared a glass with our bath before. I knew he sought to remind me and I welcomed it. Walks Softly sat more upright. I recognized Etienne’s silhouette moving through the gallery toward the harbor. Our friend excused himself and I grinned.

James’ voice, low and sincere, brought mirth to my lips. “I pray no one else takes close notice.”

“Why should anyone seek a quarrel? Are they not respected and trusted?” I swallowed more brandy, luxuriating in the fine spirit as its fumes billowed into my brain.

My lover plucked the brandy from my grasp with one hand, pulled me closer with the other. “I vow, Lili, your lack of inhibition is at once a blessing and a curse.”

Turning my head, I looked up and back at him. “Any love so sure and strong is beautiful. Do you take offense?”

He drank, signaled a man to refill our goblet. The sailor - a new man from James’ crew - scurried off with the cup. “I once feared Etienne would break my brother’s heart. That Frenchman had a well-deserved reputation as a rogue with both sexes. Aside from that, I have never objected.”

“Etienne loves him very much.”

James agreed. “He does.”

I had spoken to him about this before. However, it pleased me to know he bore no prejudice. Our libation returned and I intercepted the brandy. We had often shared the spirit while together on the island. Afterward I avoided it as not to conjure further memories. I consumed it with little caution and much relish.

We listened to the music and ate helpings of the delicious food. I felt a sudden change in James’ touch and shivered. He traced the curve of my ear and jaw. I turned my head to see his eyes. They glowed, and his fingers rubbed over my tingling lips.

Leaning close, he whispered, “Come with me.” He rose, held his hand down and I let him pull me to my feet. James picked up the blanket, flipped it over his arm a few times and he lead me from the courtyard. We walked to the beach, and then up along the lip of the land. With almost no moon, darkness reigned supreme. Heat lingered in the sand. Inky, liquid silk surf rolled inland. I sipped from the goblet.

James halted, released my hand and spread the blanket upon the sand. He plucked the brandy from me, drank, and then knelt to settle it in the sand. He pulled me down to the blanket. I let him lay me on my side facing him, my head upon his heavily muscled arm. Gazing into his eyes, I had a startling jolt seeing the soul behind them. I so often became overpowered by the physical presence of his body, I forgot about how much I loved his integrity and personality. As we matched stares, I thought of him outrunning Teach to warn me about any potential foolishness. James had been more amused than anything, admiring the fact I invited Blackbeard to dine. I recalled James laying flowers at my feet, vowing he would take my virgin pain if he could, and helping me dress after my recent ambush. I thought about his gifting me with that second pistol.

“What transpires in that head of yours, sweet?”

“I thought how much I love you.”

He closed the distance between us and his lips flirted with mine. I wrapped myself around him as we kissed. He teased and played with my mouth until I shook all over. He rolled me atop him, stripping me as he remarked upon my beauty and sweetness. We helped him from his garments as a unit. I straddled his narrow hips and sank onto his erection. James held me to him as he lifted his pelvis, moving within me.

The lovemaking occurred so naturally and tenderly, I reveled in joining naked under the stars.

Later, we returned to the castillio. Carousing continued. James and I refilled our glass and ascended to our room. He took Gato down for a break. I washed briefly, drank brandy and undressed. When my lover returned, I watched him with much avarice. James locked the door. I lolled upon the bed.

“You put your fingers in my bottom,” I said.

His keen regard snared me. “Aye.”

“Might you make love to me thusly?”

His entire being seemed to sharpen. “You desire this?”

“If it will pleasure me.”

James undressed, brought my rose oil to the bedside table. “You’ve only to tell me if it does not.”

I luxuriated in his attentions. James brought me to a heated state with his tongue, using it upon the jewel of my womanhood. Then, he situated himself at my back, each of us on our sides. Lifting my upper leg, he guided his scented oil-slick erection to that sensitive opening. I felt the blunt tip. Trusting he would stop did I bid it, the gentle easing forward and back became more inflaming than alarming. The crest of him entered me and an internal ring seemed to dilate. Raw, erotic pleasure raked my senses.

His big palm flattened over my jerking belly. James murmured, “Talk to me, sweet.”

I tried to drag a breath into my lungs. “I like it.”

“Do you wish more of me?”

I moaned, “Oh, aye.”

He eased up into me and I can give no accounting of what I said. The gentle withdraw caused me to shake and swear. He filled me again, his fingers teasing that convergence of nerves so pivotal to my lust.

“James,” I groaned, aflame and in love, “James.”

He used such caution, gritting his teeth to hold painfully back until I began to climax. Even in his lust did he take care. My peak ripped through me as a bolt of lightening. He erupted hot and powerful in my bottom.

James turned my head and kissed me. I knew then we had mated for life.


CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

The next day dawned still and beastly hot. Men assigned to fish and trap crabs and lobsters returned empty-handed. Walks Softly had taught me weather signs. This boded ill. Sea creatures often quit the shallows and headed to deeper water before a hurricane. To further solidify the threat, it had not rained in several days. This often heralded a terrible storm as well.

We captains met in the hall. For the first time since James and I reconciled, I saw Gamboa. His eyes had a heavy-lidded look that spoke of little sleep and much drinking. I imagined he had buried his grief in the receptive body of some very willing female. He acknowledged James politely, me with a warmth I did not expect.

“We should assume the worst,” I stated, meaning about the pending storm.

James added, “Let us assign squads for the tasks needing done.”

The day aged under the oppressive stillness. No birds trilled in the trees. Even the small lizards so common on these shores had vanished. We brought stores in from the ships, moved the vessels farther apart and shortened anchor chains. Dead branches, coconuts and any other excess had to come down from trees. Shutters, found half-rotted in grain bins became born again into serviceable condition. Water, both salt and fresh came into the castillio in huge amounts. I stood in the gallery, having a moment’s respite from the sweltering heat when it struck me.

The morning before the bonfire, I had taken my doses then become ill. That night, I had forgotten. This very morning, I had risen, miserable from the temperature and allowed it to escape me again. In a panic, I sought Walks Softly. At the harbor I found him. Grabbing his hand I dragged him some distance from other ears.

Without preamble, I announced, “Thrice consecutively I have missed my doses.”

His fathomless black eyes and composure failed to hide the concern behind them. “How many times did James spill inside you?”

I struggled to recall. “At least six or seven times.” A ray of hope beckoned. I brightened, “Oh, the once was in my bottom.” The heartbeat the confession left me, I flushed so hotly it hurt.

Walks Softly did not so much as bat an inky eyelash at that scandalous revelation. As it dawned he must surely know far more about congress in that particular venue, I blushed the harder. My friend put his arm around me. “When did last you have your menses?”

“They have waxed inconstant since I became so physically active. I believe a little more than a month’s time.”

“I have heard of women’s cycle becoming disturbed by increased exertion.” He snugged me to his side. “Do not worry yet, Lili.”

I finished the afternoon’s labor, throwing myself into preparations. After a long while, I went upstairs to fetch my cat. We walked into the jungle outside the fort’s perimeters and he loped about for some time. The silence of the jungle caused my nerves to prickle. Gato soon returned to my side. We walked back to the fort.

James intercepted us, loping much the same as my cat. “I have searched all over for you.”

My heart leapt sideways. How could one human be so beautiful and vital? “Mr. Street saw me depart.”

He pulled me to him, mouth slanting down over mine with possessive potency. I wondered how long it would require for him to settle a bit, and not take every opportunity to remind me I belonged to him.

We returned to the castillio together. Despite my best efforts to heed Walks Softly’s advice, my mind crept back to my concerns. In a quiet moment as we waited for the other captains, James laced his fingers with mine.

“Do not let the threat of a hurricane worry you overmuch, sweet,” he said. “We have prepared well, this is a solid structure and most all of the men have faced such storms before.”

I nodded, unable to tell him the hurricane worried me not a whit. Or, that the possibility I carried his child robbed me of my peace of mind.




The first strong breeze whipped white caps in the harbor, then the wind gained steady strength. Clouds crowded low and heavy until the sky seemed a slate above the Earth. Rain came in heavy sheets. With shutters closed and barred, doors securely latched, we settled in for the duration.

James and I had a cold supper in our rooms. As I finished, he had soaked in the big metal tub. Now, he sat at the table, a small cup of brandy at his elbow, the inventory of stores assessed today spread under his keen scrutiny. I had my bath, cleaned my teeth and changed into my silk lounging clothes. For a very long while I stood behind the screen, staring at the bottle of contraceptive tonic. Then, I walked from behind the screen, my stomach knotted and my heart twisting.

His gaze lifted immediately. “What is it?” I went to him. He drew me into his lap, catching my jaw and tilting my face that he might look into my eyes. “Lili, speak to me.”

The truth tumbled from my lips. “I missed my doses thrice in a row. It is time I take it, but if I have conceived …” I could not continue. My selfishness screamed for an abortificant. However, something deeper and more primitive rejected taking anything into me that might harm the life just germinating. Even the tonic. “We have a problem.”

“This is no problem for me.” He spoke calmly, tone hushed. For a heartbeat I felt thrown to the wolves, abandoned. Then I saw the sureness and tenderness in his gaze.

“You are not angry?”

“There always existed the possibility you might forget several times, or that you might become pregnant despite the precaution,” he pointed out. “Had I some real concern in the matter, I would have continued withdraw as a further precaution.”

Still unconvinced he could take the revelation so calmly, I argued, “A child would change everything.”

“I am in possession of that fact. I do not cower in the face of potential fatherhood.”

Absorbing his words, I said, “Mayhaps I have not conceived. How shall I protect myself while off the tonic?”

“There are other methods.” He stroked my jaw and cheek. “Would carrying my child be so dark a fate, Lili?”

My emotions shifted about so swiftly, I could scarce name which I felt from breath to breath. “My mind tells me there is no place for a child in my life. My heart whispers life can be made to change.” I tried to think. “I have given no thought to motherhood since I knew I had escaped my intended fate as brood mare. It’s so frightening.”

His voice held a wealth of promise. “I have pledged my arm to protect you, my heart to love you. Our child would share the same.”

Though simple in word, I recognized the profoundness of his assurance. However, dark doubts lingered. “What sort of mother would I make? A pirate?”

“Lili, you have a gift for loving. No child could ask for better.”

The wind howled fiercely. Rain pelted the shutters. Gato stood, circled in place and resettled himself in his hides.

I laid my head against James’ shoulder, my face turned into his neck. His skin smelled of clean, virile male and ambergris. I closed my eyes, trying in vain to settle my racing thoughts.

After a while, he commanded softly, “Say what is in your soul. Do not think, speak.”

“If I am pregnant, so be it. Let us exercise caution in our play until I know for certain. If I am not expecting, then we shall discuss this again.”

“Very well,” he concurred. “If the time for that discussion finds us, I will have nothing more to add.”

James wanted us to have a child. He welcomed family life into this world we had forged with our swords. I wondered if I could boast that kind of courage.