FicWad

Title: "I'M SOBER"
Author: Donna McIntosh
Email: dmcintoshtx@yahoo.com
Fandom: Brokeback Mountain
Genre: Slash
Rating: NC – 17 FRAO
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx but they keep visiting me!
Summary: This is a sequel to "I'm Drunk"

"I'M SOBER"

"Huh? What the …Who the hell is pounding on my God dammed door at this hour?" Ennis struggled to untangle himself from his blankets and get to the door before whoever was pounding on it broke it down.

"What the hell you … Jack? What're you doin here?" Ennis said as he yanked the door opened.

"Jesus, Ennis! You scared me to death!" Jack said as he came inside. "I been knocking out there for at least twenty minutes. I was about ready to break the door in. You OK?" he asked as he tossed his hat on the table.

"Hell yes, I'm OK. I was just sleepin in a little. It's Saturday mornin. What're you doin here?" Ennis rubbed his sleepy eyes.

"I come for that beer you offered me. Don't cha remember?" Jack grinned as he stood there, hands on hips.

"Huh?" Ennis ran a hand through his mussed up hair.

"The phone call? Last night?"

"Phone call?"

"You called me last night. You said you wanted to fuck me. You don't remember that?"

"Well hell, Jack. I always want to fuck you but I don't remember no phone call."

"You will when your phone bill comes in. We talked for hours and hours and hours."

"Shit! No kiddin?"

Jack laughed. "Well, maybe we didn't talk for all that long but you did call me. You said you wanted to fuck me and you said you was savin a beer for me."

"I musta been drunk."

"Uh huh." Jack grinned. "Does this mean I don't get that beer?"

Ennis grinned at him. "You come all this way for a beer?"

Jack seized him then; tumbling them both onto the rumpled bed. "You promised me something else besides a beer, Cowboy. You may not remember, but I do!"

Now a morning tussle with Jack Twist was not what he was expecting but it was something he had no intentions of turning down. Some time later they lay together, having a smoke.

"Shit, Jack. I'm gonna be ridin side-saddle for a week!"

"You braggin or complainin?" Jack blew out a mouth full of smoke.

"Neither one; just sayin." Ennis moved closer into Jack's arms.

"You still don't remember callin me?" Jack nosed the small blond curls behind Ennis's ear.

Ennis turned over, propped himself up on his elbows. "I really called you?"

"You sure did. Got me so hot I spent the night in the airport waitin for the first plane headin this way."

"You didn't!"

"Yes I did. You said you need to fuck me so here I am." Jack grinned at him.

"So how come you did me instead of me doin you?" Ennis leaned over and licked a nipple.

"Cause, I guess, it was the way you wanted it this mornin. You was the one, turned over and pushed your sweet ass back at me like you wanted it. Change your mind?"

"Nah. I was just wonderin. How long can you stay? Maybe I can get you before you leave."

"I got a flight out tomorrow at 8:50. I'm sure we can work somethin out in the mean time."

"You know you shouldn't be here; you know that, don't cha, Jack Twist."

"Nope. I don't know no such thing. All I know is you called me and said you needed me and here I am. Ain't no place else I need to be but here."

"Shit, Jack." Ennis leaned his head down on Jack's chest and Jack held him close. "I wish it could be like this always. You right here next to me when I wake up."

"I been thinkin a lot about that, Ennis. Maybe if we talked some, we could work somethin out."

"Ain't nothin to work out. We can't do it; that's all there is to it." Ennis answered miserably.

Jack sighed and kissed the top of the blond head and rested his cheek there. "Ennis, there's lots of different kinds of people in the world. There's blind people, there's people livin in wheel chairs, there's people from different countries. There's people who live in fancy houses and there's people who live in trailers. And there's people like us. We ain't the only ones like us, Ennis. Yes, we're different. But that don't make us bad or wrong no more than it makes those other people bad or wrong for bein different. We ain't somethin to be hid away; we ain't nothin shameful."

Ennis lay quietly against Jack's chest and listened.

"I know you was scared bad by what happened to your neighbor. That was a horrible and terrible thing. But it was what the murderers done that was bad and wrong, Ennis; not what your neighbors were doin."

"I know that, Jack. It's just what happens if folks like us get found out."

"No; Ennis. It was just what happened that time. And that was because a bunch of drunken bigots got out of hand. There are people like us all over the world and they manage to live together and have lives like most everyone else. They go to work, they shop, they help their neighbors, they go to church; they do just about anything else they want to do. They are part of the community they live in. They don't hide out and they don't live in fear."

"But it's happened before and it's happened since." Ennis raised up and looked at him.

"Ennis, lots of bad things have happened before. People die in traffic accidents; are you going to stop driving? No, because you need to drive to get around in this world. People die on the job sometimes. Does that mean every one should stop workin? No, because people need to work. The point is, that there is lots of ways you might die, Ennis. You just have to be mindful and watch what you're doin. Just cause there's lots of ways of dyin don't mean you should stop livin."

"But, Jack; this is different."

"Everything and everyone is different, Ennis. And people's livin arrangements and who they sleep with ain't nobody's business but the two involved."

"People hate people like us."

"Some people do, you're right about that. But they're not all murderers."

Ennis laid his head back down on Jack's chest. "It sure would be nice, Jack. Livin with you; bein together all the time."

"Lots a people do it. It ain't against the law. We wouldn't be botherin nobody."

"But what would happen if they got drunk and got after us?"

"We'd do whatever we had to to protect ourselves and each other. But, Ennis, murder ain't all that common a thing; not here in Wyomin."

"Did you read about that boy they killed cause he was like us?"

"I did and it sickened me. Did you read about that woman who was raped and beaten to death comin out of that liqor store in Dallas?"

"No," Ennis leaned up again. "Was she like us?"

"No she wasn't. The point is, Ennis, that murder happens at different times to different people for different reasons. Yes, it scares the hell out of me sometimes too but I ain't gonna stop livin because there are some nuts out there bent on killin."

"You ain't scared of dyin?"

"Well, hell yes I am. Same as everybody else is but I ain't holing up and hidin out the rest of my life. I want a life, Ennis. I ain't ashamed of what I am."

"I don't know 'bout bein ashamed. I just know I'm scared." Ennis pulled in closer.

"I know you are, Ennis. And I wish I could help you with that; if you could only just think about other things and not worry so much about dyin. It's a beautiful world out there, Cowboy, and I want us to be a part of it. Just think of all the great things we could be doin with our lives, all the great times we could be havin. There just ain't no reason at all why we have to live alone, hundreds of miles apart. No reason at all."

Ennis leaned up again and stared into Jack's face. "You really think we could live together and nobody would bother us?"

"I know we could live together and be happy. Whether people bother us or not would be up to them. And if they did, we would handle it."

"What if one of us got murdered?"

"That would be a horrible thing but you know what would be worse?"

"What could be worse than that?"

"Spending the rest of our lives miserable and alone because of something that might or might not even happen."

Ennis got up and hunted for more cigarettes. He stood against the kitchen cabinets and lit up, tossing the pack over to Jack along with his lighter. Jack sat up in bed and lit up.

"You make it sound like we could actually do it, Jack."

"We could, Ennis. It's been done before, it's being done now, and it will continue to be done."

"By people a lot braver than me." Ennis answered sadly.

"Each of us gets to choose how we want to spend our lives; that's our God given right. You can do what you want to, Ennis."

"What I want to do is crawl back into that bed with you, grab hold and never let go."

Jack smiled at that. "Well then do it!" He reached out his arms.

Ennis tossed his cigarette into the sink and climbed back into bed. Jack stubbed his cigarette out in the ash tray and pulled him into his arms.

"You really think we could live together?" Ennis asked.

"I know we could. You just have to want to bad enough to put up with whatever comes our way. We'd be just like anybody else; facin whatever life sends our way."

"I don't care about bein like everybody else, Jack. I don't mind that I'm different as long as you're different too. I just want to be with you; ain't nothin else matters."

"I wish you meant that, Cowboy."

"I do! I mean every word of it!"

"Then let's get a place. You and me together. Let's find somewhere where we can build a life together."

"If only it was that easy." Ennis sighed.

"It is."

Ennis raised up and looked at Jack in the eye. "I love you, Jack Twist. You know that don't you?"

"Uh huh. I've always known it; even when you sent me away; even when you told me no for so many years. I've always known it."

"How come you're so smart and I'm so dumb?" Ennis snuggled up again.

"Well, that's easy. It's because I dazzle you with my stunning looks and sexy ways and mess up your thinkin so you can't think of nothin else but fuckin me or me fuckin you."

They both chuckled at that.

"I want you, Jack. I want this; you and me together. Tell me how we can do it. Make me believe it as much as you do."

"The first and most important thing you already know about. You love me and I love you. There ain't nothin holdin us apart; nothin says we can't be together. I been keepin up with things goin on here in Wyomin and there's lots of places available. We'll have to talk about what we'd like to do. If you're wantin to make a killin, then cattle ranchin ain't it any more. But if you're just lookin to get by, there are lots of smaller places where we could just run a few cows; maybe breed some horses for sale. We'd need to look for good soil so we could get a good garden growin. We could hunt in the fall and there's fishin; we wouldn't go hungry."

"You don't reckon nobody would bother us?"

"They might, Ennis, you can never tell. But long as we stayed out of the bars and didn't get into it with anyone, I don't see we'd be stirrin up any trouble."

"And if trouble came?"

"We'd handle it."

"You make is all sound so easy."

"It ain't easy, Ennis. Changin your life never is but I think it'd be worth it. There'd be lots of hard work gettin a place up and runnin but ain't neither of us never been afraid of hard work."

"Hard work don't bother me none."

"Me neither. And it would be especially rewarding if it was on our own place."

There was silence for a spell then Ennis said quietly. "Mr. Cole's gettin old. He turned 75 last birthday. He's talkin 'bout sellin out; movin to Denver with his son."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy spendin time with his son. Didn't you say he had a bunch of grandbabies?"

"Uh huh. Seven of 'em. They got a big family. Loud and noisy and everywhere you turn you're steppin on another grandkid." He chuckled.

"He'll enjoy himself then. He's worked hard all his life; he deserves a rest. Not that he'll get much rest with seven grandkids around." Jack smiled.

"Everybody deserves a life, Jack; even us."

"Uh huh."

"You wanna do it? You wanna find a place?"

Jack sat bolt upright and pulled Ennis up with him. "You mean it?"

"I don't see as we'd be hurtin anybody; do you?"

"Hell no! You serious? I mean, I know you're sober and all. Shit, Ennis, you really want to?"

"I always wanted to, Jack. Always. I just never thought it was possible."

"Oh it is! It is!"

"Uh huh. OK then. Where you think we should start lookin?"

"You mean it? You'll get a place with me?" Jack was big eyed with excitement.

"Uh huh. It's 'bout time, I think. Our kids are grown; I only got a couple more payments of child support to make and I got that much in the bank. I don't have a whole lot to put into a place though. I can get a couple grand for the trailer; and another couple for my horses and my truck ain't worth a whole lot but it might bring in maybe five or six hundred more. That's all I got, Jack."

"Ain't nobody could be expected to put in more than all they got." Jack was choked up by Ennis's offer to sell off everything. "Let's just hold off on sellin your stuff right now. We're gonna need horses to run the ranch. Don't make much sense to sell off your horses just to turn around and buy more."

"What about this trailer? It ain't much but I give three grand for it five years ago and I made some improvements; put in a new heater and redid most of the plumbing so it should be worth at least that much still."

"Let's wait until we find a place. We might find some land that doesn't have a house and we'd need this to live in."

"OK. It ain't half bad. Kinda small but it'll keep the wind and rain off."

Jack hauled them both out of bed and stood holding Ennis by the shoulders. "You really gonna do this? You're sober, right?"

"Uh huh. Mind's made up. I'm sober as a church mouse. We got as much right to a life together as anybody else."

"YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Jack leaned his head back and howled to the world. Ennis laughed out loud.

"Jack, you crazy or somethin? Somebody might hear."

"Oh hell, Ennis. It's Saturday. They'd probably just think we was watching a ball game on TV. C'mere." He held Ennis close then and covered his face with sweet little kisses.
When he got to Ennis's lips, he lingered there a while. "Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Uh huh but you can tell me again. I like hearin it." Ennis answered as he returned every kiss with several of his own.

"Good; cause you're gonna hear it a lot from now on." Jack continued the kisses down the side of Ennis's neck.

"I think I can live with that." Ennis agreed.

THE END