FicWad

It's a balmy, summer evening when Izzy decides that he wants to go out. I'm all for it. We've together a little over a month and we've still yet to properly make love. Not that I mind. Well, secretly I do. I want to wrap myself around him and seal my feelings for him. I want to kiss him and hear him tell me he loves me as we tangle ourselves in the bedsheets. But it hasn't happened yet and I feel that getting out of his shabby apartment and getting some fresh air might help to quieten down my raging hormones. I'm trying to understand that he's been hurt and doesn't want to rush things. But damn! Every time I kiss him or suck his cock, all I want is to be completely connected to that beautiful body. He hasn't told me he loves me yet. It's a bit disheartening because I feel like I'm throwing myself into this and getting little in return.

I sit in the window and watch him dress, wrapping scarves and beads around his neck and wrists, before pulling a hat down over his eyes. God, I hate that hat but I refuse to tell him. He seems fragile enough without me laying into him about his dress sense. I look down at my torn jeans and dirty t-shirt. Not that mine is much better and he doesn't complain. But that fuckin' hat makes his ears stick out. I hide my mouth behind my hand as I giggle. As much as I hate that hat and as much as I hate some of his shirts, it all adds up to what makes him cute. Fuck... I just called a guy cute. I giggle a little louder and he straightens up, cocking his head and looking at me.

"What?"

"Nothing," I giggle as I open my arms. "Come here."

He pouts at me, as if he senses that I'm mentally criticising his clothes and steps up to me. I wrap my arms around him, burying my nose in his hair and inhaling the scent that's uniquely Izzy. Cheap shampoo, cigarette smoke along with a hint of body odour. It's not a bad smell and I love waking up, wrapped in his blankets long after he's gone to work and smelling it. It reminds me that he was there and soon he'll be back.

I smile and slide from the window, taking his hand. I'm not ashamed of who I am any more and it seems that neither is Izzy as he gently squeezes my fingers. I'm now quite happy to walk the streets holding onto him. Even though we've had a some abuse, no one seems to care as much as I thought they would. It's nice, nice to be able to show off the man I've fallen in love with.

The sticky summer air hits me as we step out onto the street, enveloping me. I catch my breath and glance at Izzy. He's staring straight ahead, the weather not seeming to bother him. I catch glances of him as we wind our away along streets and back alleys. He doesn't tell me but I know that we're heading towards his favourite park. He loves to sit among the trees and watch the stars, loves to lie in the grass and escape the monotony of life. And now he's including me in his little ritual.

I lean over and gently kiss his cheek, watching a small smile cross his lips. He blushes as he drops his head a little, trying to hide that he's embarrassed by my public display of affection. It's not something I normally do and he knows it. It either means something to him or he's embarrassed by me. My heart drops; I'm still new to this, still nervous and unsure of what I should do. I don't want to be some plaything to him, someone to build his confidence back up before he drops me like a stone. I want to be his. His best friend and lover. I can but live in hope.

"Thank you," he whispers, reassuring me.

I smile to myself and squeeze his hand. He doesn't look at me as we walk, not in the way that I like to look at him. I suppose he's used to this, used to someone holding his hand and walking with him so he doesn't see the need to look at me all the time. But me, I need to look at him, need to assure myself that this beautiful man is actually with me and not just a part of some distant dream.

Quietly we walk the road that leads into the park. Heavenly smells and the alien sound of birds waft over me and I smile. I like it here and I can see why Izzy does. It's peaceful and quiet, the water of the lake gently lapping against the shore. I pause for a moment and watch it, leaves slowly floating over the nearly flat surface. Izzy gently tugs on my hand and I turn my attention back to him, feeling my heart flip as those big eyes stare back at me.

"Come on," he whispers.

I frown and follow, wondering why he's so impatient. As we step into the growing shade of the trees, I wrap my arm around his tiny waist, holding him close. Normally, in public, he would have pulled away and gone back to holding my hand. But here, cloaked in darkness, he seems more comfortable as if he can hide from anything that's going to hurt or abuse him. We walk in silence, weaving in and out of the trees until the only light from the dying sun dapples the ground. It's his little hideaway, a quiet place to escape the world and his thoughts. To escape the fucker who still haunts his dreams and days.

Luckily we haven't seen Bill for a week or so. He spent some time hanging outside the apartment trying, I assume, to look tough. He did a pretty good job on me, those harsh green eyes boring into my head whenever I came or went. But he never said or did anything, just stood and watched, keeping up a vigil from dawn to dusk. He didn't have to do anything; I'm scared of him and he seems to know it, sneering at me whenever he catches my gaze. Izzy says Bill's not violent but it's only a matter of time. If someone wants something bad enough, they'll soon get physical. I'm sure that other things have happened as well but Izzy's not saying. I've seen him scrabbling to hide bits of paper. Notes, I assume, from /him/. Whether they're nice or not is a different matter, although Izzy always looks petrified whenever he's stuffing one into his pocket. Where Izzy's hiding them I don't know. I don't know if he's disposed of them or done something else with the notes. He seems to be a master of making things disappear: books, cigarettes, guitar strings, notes - they all seem to be going somewhere. One day I'll find the black hole that he's throwing things into.

"Slash," that husky voice whispers and I turn to look at him.

He's leaning up against a tree, a peaceful smile on his lips, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging from his tiny shoulders. In the low light, his eyes are black, bottomless pits just waiting for me to fall into them. I sigh happily and step up to him, my hands sliding over his milky skin as my mouth covers that smile. I feel him sigh and my cock twitches as his hands slide under my t-shirt, guitar hardened nails gently scratching at my skin. I purr, slipping my tongue into his mouth and tasting him, grinding against him as he responds. Gently I slip a knee between his legs, pushing up. He hisses in pleasure and slowly rubs himself against it, nails digging into my back. I press myself against him, enjoying the feeling of domination, enjoying feeling him squirm beneath me.

"Please..." he hisses into my mouth.

"Please what?" I reply.

He pulls away and looks at me, panting, the low light glinting off of his glazed eyes. His hands drop from my back and he pushes them between us. I step back, confused, wondering why he's pushing me away. Cocking my head to one side, I watch as he slips his hands into the pockets of his tight trousers, fumbling around for something. He finds whatever he's looking for and holds it out to me. Frowning, I take it, examining it in the coming darkness. It's a small tube of lube, lube I assume for having sex. I've never seen any before and, looking at the state Izzy's in, it's the only thing I can think of. He's leaning against the tree, staring at me and panting, erection straining against those tight jeans.

"Please Slash..." His chest is rapidly rising and falling, a hand sliding to squeeze his cock.

I swallow and stare at him, my own breath coming in pants, but from nervousness.

"Izz... I don't know how..."

He pulls me close, kissing me hard as he whispers, "It's just like being with a girl." He nips my lower lip and smiles. "Not that I'd know about that."

Suddenly he jumps, sliding up the tree, his legs locking around my waist. I groan as his cock rubs against my crotch, reawakening my softening erection. Bending my head, I kiss his neck, nipping at the silky soft skin and smiling when he moans. Carefully I place him back on the ground as I move my head to lick along his exposed collar bone. He sighs and tangles his hands in my hair, pushing my mouth to him as I kneel, licking my way down his chest. Izzy's skin is feels exquisite beneath my tongue, a feeling that I'm going to remember for the rest of my life. I flick my tongue over his nipples before gently nipping on one.

He hisses and gasps, "Oh yes."

Grinning, I give the other nipple the same treatment, listening to him gasp and moan and plead. Gripping his skinny hips, I gently kiss and lick my way towards his cock, my tongue lapping at his ribs and hipbone. I push his trousers down a little, teasing and tasting as I do. A little tuft of hair has appeared above his trousers and I bury my nose in it, kissing the soft skin beneath and inhaling Izzy's earthy scent. I hear him groan and his hips buck forwards.

Resting a hand on his hip, I whisper, "Calm down gorgeous. Nearly there..."

He makes a sound like a cross between a groan and a grunt, thrusting his hips again. Grinning, I grab his jeans and roughly pull them down, his cock springing free. This isn't how I'd imagined my first time to be. I'd imagined that I'd be the one waiting for him to screw me.

Instead, he's willing to let me try it, surrendering himself and sealing us together. Forever I hope. I flick my tongue over the head of his cock, watching it twitch and hearing him groan. Grinning, I pull back and pop the top on the lube, cautiously coating my fingers with the cool liquid. So it was like being with a girl? A virgin girl at that. My cock twitches in anticipation and I smile as I gently nudge his legs apart, listening as he gasps when my nervous fingers stroke along the underside of his cock and towards his puckered entrance. I pause, my fingertips gently brushing over his anus. Izzy trembles beneath my touch, his breathing softly panting.

"Do it," he whispers. "Just be careful."

Holding my breath, I gently push a finger into Izzy. He gasps and his muscles tightly clench around my finger. I gasp but carefully carry on pushing it in and out, stretching Izzy. My free hand softly strokes along his flanks, trying to relax him. He moans and trembles as I push in a second and third finger, gasping as I scissor them. I smile as I listen to him, feeling his hands rake through my hair as I kiss his cock. My confidence is growing, along with my cock. Izzy's hands tighten in my hair, pulling me to my feet. The fresh light of the moon bathes his body, turning him into a panting, horny apparition.

"Please," he begs, tongue flicking out to lick his lips.

How could I resist that? With no inhibitions, I drag my jeans off, watching as Izzy takes the lube from me and begins to coat my aching
cock. I groan and thrust into his hand. He smiles at me, before letting go and jumping and wrapping himself around me. Gripping his butt, I line my cock up to his entrance and gently pushing forward. He groans and buries his head against my shoulder, his nails digging into my skin. He's tight, virgin tight and I know that I'm hurting him.

I slow down and stop but he hisses, "Don't stop."

I press him against the tree and wait for him to adjust, panting and gasping as I luxuriate in the hot tightness. His heels rest in the small of my back, legs locked around my waist. They tighten, Izzy silently begging me to move. Pressing a kiss to his hair, I do, slowly thrusting. I pant in his ear, feeling his warm breath become more ragged against my neck the faster I thrust. I push in deeper and he cries out. Panicking, I stop, terrified that I've hurt him.

Instead he clings to me and yells, "Don't fuckin' stop!"

Smiling, I start thrusting again, speeding up and making Izzy scream in pleasure. He's completely wrapped around me, clinging and howling, sweat making our bodies slippery. His hands claw at my hair, tugging as his howls echo off the trees. His cock digs into my stomach, rubbing against me as we fuck. Actually, this is more than fucking. I'm feeling things that I've never felt before. Warmth and something else,

something deeper. Something primal but sweet, something akin to need.

And then it happens as he whispers, "I love you Slash..."

I feel tears prick my eyes and I tighten my hands around him, pulling him close. It's the push I need and I come, thrusting deep into his as I come, crying out his name. I thrust until I've completely emptied myself, my final thrust hitting Izzy's magic spot.

"Slash!" he screams as his come coats my stomach, his fingers digging into me.

Panting, I slide to the grass, Izzy cradled in my lap. I stare into his shadowed eyes, trying to make out his thoughts, trying to find out his secrets. I don't have to wait long as he smiles and kisses me. Hard. From the way he's holding onto me I think I've done something right. But I don't want to ask, scared that he'll tell me I was shit. I just give into his kiss, our tongues battling, hands grabbing at each other. Eventually he pulls away and smiles. I just stare at him, my heart skipping with happiness. I've never felt like this before, never felt so happy. So loved.

"I love you," I quietly whisper.

He smiles, his eyes dropping. "I know."

For a few moments, I just look at him, my hands gently pulling his shirt around him, amazed by how beautiful he looks in the moonlight. He smiles and closes his eyes against my gaze, long eyelashes dusting those pale cheeks. He takes my breath away, my moonlit porcelain doll.

"How was he?" a familiar voice breaks our spell, making my heart drop and my head turn.

The shadows move and Bill steps out into a chink of moonlight, arms crossed over his chest, a sneer on his face. He's eerily lit, all razor-blade cheekbones and gaunt, hollow cheeks. Like a walking, talking corpse. He takes a step closer, spitting on the ground as he does.

"I saw it all," he sneers, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "The whole, beautiful coupling." He spits again, this time in my direction. I scramble to my feet, grabbing my clothes, ready to face off. "He screams your name with more passion than he ever said mine." He stares into my eyes, his eyes as dead as the stone heart in his chest. "You're just another conquest to him Slash. Another notch on his bedpost."

Bill grins and I can just about see the fangs extending from his jaw. Something snaps in me and I grab his scrawny neck, snarling in his face.

"He'll never come back to you. So quit with the psycho stalker act and FUCK OFF!"

I push him away from me, watching as he stumbles back and into a pile of leaves, eyes wide with shock. Suddenly Izzy's arms go around my waist, making me jump. His head rests on my shoulder as he kisses my cheek, strong fingers brushing my hair out of his eyes. Bill stares up at us, eyes wide. His face crumples and he curls into a ball, beginning to cry.

"Izzy," he sobs. "Izzy he pushed me. He hurt me Izz."

I feel Izzy sigh against my neck, hands lovingly stroking my hair. With Izzy so close to me, my fear of Bill is evaporating.

"Go away Bill," he sighs quietly sighs. "Give up and go away. I'm not coming back."

Bill's eyes are fixed on us, tears glistening on his cheeks.

"Izzy," he pleads. "My precious, beautiful Izzy. Please come back. I love you. I'll love you more than he ever can."

I hear Izzy grind his teeth and I bring up a hand to gently stroke his head, my eyes never leaving the sobbing Bill. Whatever he's saying, I know he doesn't mean it. Bill's pure evil and I know that what he's saying isn't true. All he wants is someone to control. The warmth of Izzy leaves me and I turn to look at him. He gives me a nod, signalling that we're going. I quickly dress and give Bill one last glare as Izzy takes my hand, leading me from the trees and out onto the lit footpath. From behind us comes a pained howl, like that of an animal on its way to slaughter.

"IZZY! PLEASE!"

As I grip Izzy's hand, I have a feeling that we haven't seen the last of Bill.