FicWad

Thank God You’re Here: The Prefect’s Bathroom

by Big D

Disclaimer: Not Mine. No Profit. No Shit.

AN: This originally started as a challenge to Saruman/BioPlague, but I took it up because he refused and I liked it.

Challenge: When Hermione offered to help Harry with discovering the secret of the Golden Egg, he had no idea that she had this in mind. At least the mermaid is getting a good view.
Length: 1000/1800
Limit: 60 mins

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Harry allowed himself to be dragged along by Hermione, golden egg in one hand, the other grasped firmly by his female best friend as she led him through the broad, empty halls.

“Come on, Harry,” she bossed bossily. “What exactly did Cedric say about the egg?”

Harry sighed again. “He just said to take a bath and bring it along.”

“That’s it?”

“And he said to mull it over.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said with a self-satisfied smile.

Harry could hear the certainty in her voice and a flicker of hope shot through him. Maybe Hermione had seen something in Diggory’s worthless clue that he missed.

“Pine fresh,” Hermione recited as they reached the statue of Boris the Bewildered. The door slid open, and she excitedly hurried him inside.

Harry stopped and stared in amazement at the almost cathedral-like chamber with its high-arching ceilings and glittering fixtures, then turned to comment on it to Hermione.

“Her-Hermione!!!” he sputtered, flinging a hand over his eyes, but not before catching an all-too-intriguing glimpse of his friend’s bare torso as she casually doffed her top. The sight had been brief, but he was pretty sure that it was seared perfectly into his memory. Her skin was a shade or two darker than he had imagined (and he had imagined it before... rather frequently in fact, never mind what he had told Ron), and the back of his eyelids gleefully replayed the image of her pert bare breasts tipped with wide, delicately pink nipples, along with a trim, lovely waist that was accentuated by the way she had her arms lifted up over her head.

He heard her let out an annoyed huff, and then the rustling of more clothes being stripped off and hitting the floor.

“Honestly, you’d think you’ve never seen a pair of tits before,” she groused.

“I haven’t,” Harry yelped.

He heard her stop moving. “But Ginny said...” she muttered in quiet confusion. “And so did Lavender... Not to mention Penelope Clearwater...”

Harry suddenly forgot about the need to cover his eyes. “Hold on, what did they say about me,” he asked, not forgetting at all to ogle his friend’s nudeness. He cocked his head sideways. “Penelope?”

“Lying chits,” Hermione growled. “Making me think I needed to catch up.”

“What’s this again about Penelope,” Harry asked interestedly.

“Never you mind,” Hermione said, striding towards him and firmly seizing the golden egg, setting it on the ground. “Just wishful thinking on her part. I’d make up stories too, if I was stuck with Percy.”

As she spoke, her fingers flew across the buttons of his shirt, stripping it off of him before he realized what was happening. She gathered up the egg again and briskly handed it to him, then knelt down to work on his shoes.

“Hermione?”

“Yes, Harry,” she responded absently, plucking at his laces and lifting his right foot so that she could yank off his trainers.

Harry was having trouble formulating coherent thoughts while his eyes were busy tracing the groove of her spine all the way down to her backside, and had to think for a moment before he remembered his question.

“Why are you naked?”

His feet now bare, she reached up to unfasten his belt, then stopped and looked up at him through a curtain of chestnut brown hair. “Would you rather I weren’t,” she asked with a teasing smile.

Now that she mentioned it, her being naked was by far the best thing that had happened to him all day. But he still didn’t quite understand.

“I still don’t quite understand,” he said unimaginatively.

She shrugged, which did tastefully artistic things to her breasts. “What’s to understand? Cedric told you to take a bath and bring the egg with you. Obviously you’re supposed to figure it out from there.”

“You mean you don’t know the answer,” Harry asked worriedly. He really was hoping that she had figured it out, because he didn’t have a clue.

She shrugged unconcernedly. “No, why would I? Besides, you’re not supposed to have any help with the Task. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Harry suddenly began to get a little frustrated He was under enough stress without Hermione playing games with him. “Then why are you here,” he snapped in annoyance.

She smiled up at him in a way he had never seen before. It was part hunger and part anticipation, and lit up her face like a Christmas tree. “Because you’re going to be very busy trying to figure out that egg,” she said in a quiet, throaty purr. “And while you’re doing that, I’ll wash you.”

That sounded like the greatest plan ever in the history of great plans. Harry couldn’t imagine why they had never tried it before. It definitely beat the shit out of their standard ‘let’s-head-to-the-library-and-read-books’ strategy.

Hermione seemed to think so as well, undoing his belt and yanking down his trousers like she was six years old and unwrapping a birthday present. Apparently she got just what she wanted too, because her face split open with the biggest grin Harry had ever seen on her, despite the fact (or maybe because of the fact) that his erection smacked her right in the nose as it bounded free from its cruel cloth prison.

She stood and took him firmly by the handle, leading him towards the huge tub. He felt a little silly just standing there, holding his egg, while she quickly turned on several taps, never letting go of his throbbing member. His pre-cum was fairly flowing over her hand, and he was sure that he was just seconds away from decorating the walls with a fresh coat of mother of pearl, if only she would give him a nudge in the right direction.

“You just worry about your egg, and let me handle everything else,” she said, reaching to the side and grabbing an extendable showerhead, which she used to rinse both of them down. Harry watched in fascination as droplets of water made their way down her body and quickly decided that the only thing better than a naked girl was a wet naked girl.

Hermione glanced at the erection in her hand and smiled again. “Can’t have this thing distracting you, can we,” she said eagerly, then settled down on her knees, gripping it by the base with both hands and leaning in to swipe her tongue slowly up one side of the shaft and then down the other, paying special attention to the bulbous purple head in between. She shook her hair out of the way and tilted her head to the side so that she could suckle gently at the soft spot just beneath where the head and shaft came together, and one her hands eased its way up to rub little circles around the very tip with the pad of her thumb.

Harry felt his release rapidly approaching and tried to warn Hermione, but all that came out was a curious strangling noise. Apparently it was enough, because she let out a cheerful little squeal and placed her mouth at the end of his shaft, opening wide and sticking her tongue out as her right hand stroked him furiously. His first salvo missed her mouth completely, splattering across her nose and upper lip, but she quickly adjusted, greedily trying to swallow his load and laughing as most of it trailed down her chin and onto her breasts. Her soft pink lips fastened happily onto the tip of his penis as she nursed the last of him down her throat.

He had never imagined that his friend could look so... naughty as she did when stared up at him, her face flushed with pleasure, where it wasn’t covered with his spunk. She pressed a final kiss against the little hole at the tip of his member, then glared at him in mock seriousness.

“Egg... clue... figure it out or you don’t get anymore.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Harry fumbled nervously at the catch that opened the egg, forgetting about what had happened the last time he did, then dropped it in surprise as that horrible, screeching noise filled the bath chamber. Hermione swore loudly in surprise as the heavy metal egg thunked dully off of the top of her head and then landed in the water, the sound abruptly changing to something far more musical. The faint sound of singing could now be heard coming from the bath water.

Harry grinned and looked at Hermione, who was still rubbing her sore noggin and absently licking cum off her chin.

“Well... that was easy.”

(End)