FicWad

This isn't a happy story. Just to let you know now. It's a one shot.

Don't be scared
We will not lead
You on like you've been doing for weeks
So you're selfish And I'm sorry
Going nowhere fast
Nowhere fast, nowhere fast

"Missy, why won't you talk to me?"

"Leave me alone, Patrick."

He rubbed the back of his girlfriend.

"Babe, what has happened to us?"

Missy didn't say anything.

"You know I love you. Please talk to me.

Missy turned over.

"I love you. I'll never stop."

She touched his cheek.

"Are you happy?" Patrick asked.

"How can I answer that? You make me happy but I'm hurting so much. Make it stop."

"Oh, god. I want to. Tell me what to do."

"There's nothing you can do."

Missy buried her face into Patrick's chest and cried.

"Shh. Things will get better. I promise."

"No, Patrick. They won't."

He kissed her head.

"Don't talk like that."

He rubbed her stomach until she fell asleep.

He crawled out of bed slowly and went to the living room.

"How is she?"

"Not good mom. I have no idea what I'm going to do."

"Give her time. I need to go. Your sister is coming for supper."

"It's fine. Tell Megan we said hi."

"I will. Bye, sweetheart."

She kissed him on the cheek. After Patrick's mom left he laid on the couch.


~Flashback~
"And your name is?"

The teacher asked.

"Missy James."

"Alright. Why don't you sit next to Patrick in the back."

Missy walked in the back and sat next to a short boy with glasses.

"Hi."

"Hi, I'm Patrick. If you need any help or anything just ask."

"Sure."

Missy opened her notebook, but couldn't help not looking at Patrick. She thought he was cute.

After class Patrick walked Missy to her locker.

"Where did you move from?"

"Indiana. My dad's office has him move around a lot."

"That must suck."

"You have no idea."

"How old are you?"

"I just turned 16."

"Happy late birthday."

"Thanks. What about you?"

"15. I have 5 more months till I'm 16. What class do you have next?"

"American lit with Adams."

"I'm in hers too. I'll walk with you."

Two years later~

Missy knocked on Patrick's door.

"Hey, Missy. Patrick is in his room."

"Thanks Megan."

Missy slowly walked upstairs. She always liked walking up to his room. On the wall there were pictures of Patrick and his brother and sister. One for each year.

"Mis, you've seen those a million times. Will you get your ass in here."

She looked up and seen Patrick.

"Yes, sir."

She walked into his room and Patrick closed the door.

"What's up? You sounded horrible on the phone."

"Yeah. I guess I would of. I have some news."

"Really? Good news I hope."

Missy sat on Patrick's bed and he sat next to her.

"Not really. My dad is being transferred again. We're moving to Virginia."

"When are you leaving?"

"He's not sure yet. But I might have some good news. I applied to the College here. If I get accepted they might let me stay."

"Really? I don't want you to go. You mean everything to me."

"How much is everything?"

"It's a lot." He smiled.

"Patrick, you remember what we sort of talked about last year and I wasn't ready."

"Yes. I know it was too soon. I'm sorry."

"No. Patrick I want you to be my first."

She kissed him sliding her tongue into his mouth.

He push her back.

"Not now. My sister is downstairs. I want it to be really special. You're not doing this just because you are leaving?"

"No! If you don't want to that's fine."

"Baby, I do. I love you."

Missy looked into Patrick's eyes.

"You, you never said that to me. Do you really?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't."

"I love you so much, Patrick."

She hugged him and kissed his neck.

A few weeks later~

Patrick put the key card in and opened the door.

"This is it. How do you like it?"

"It's beautiful. I hope it didn't cost a lot."

"Don't worry about it. Did you like supper?"

"Yes."

Missy put her bag on the floor.

"You sure your parents aren't going to be worried or anything?"

"You mean, if they find out will they put you on the chopping block."

"Yeah, something like that."

"I told Christina that if they call to call my cell and I'll call them back. I'm suppose to be at her house."

"Okay."

Patrick walked to Missy and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You want to do this?" He asked.

"Don't make it sound like we're playing a game or something. I'll be right back and you better be ready."

Missy went to the bathroom with her overnight bag. She was nervous but knew she was making the right choice. She put on a light purple nightgown and brushed her hair and teeth. She gave one final look in the mirror and walked out.

All the lights were off, except for one on the table.

"Patrick?"

She looked on the bed and he was under the covers. She smiled at him and walked to the bed and got under the covers. Patrick took her into his arms.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you. I'm really nervous."

"We'll go slow. I'm in no rush."

He smiled and kissed her. Missy ran her hands up Patrick's chest and back down. She took his shirt and lifted if off his body.

"There. Much better."

Patrick kissed her neck while sliding his hand under her nightgown. Missy panicked.

"Patrick, stop. I'm not ready."

He removed his hand.

"It's alright."

"Just give me a few more minutes."

"Anything for you."

"You are so special."

"Tell me when you are ready."

"Just go a little slower."

Patrick placed his lips on hers again. Slowly, he entered his tongue into her mouth. Missy moaned into his mouth.

"Okay, Patrick."

He smiled and slide his hands back up her sides under her nightgown. He took one breast in his hand and squeezed it gently and flicked his thumb over her nipple.

"Oh, Patrick." Missy arched into his hand.

He took off her nightgown and looked down at Missy.

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

"No. You just so gorgeous."

She blushed.

Patrick placed his mouth over her nipple while his thumb teased the other. Missy moved against Patrick's body.

"Oh god, Patrick. I've never felt anything like this."

Patrick ran his hand down her stomach and stopped at her center.

"Are you okay with this?"

Missy shook her head up and down.

Patrick slide one finger and another inside of her and began moving them in and out of her.

"Trick, please. I want you inside of me."

Patrick took off his pants and boxers and grabbed a condom. Missy looked down at him and placed her hand over his cock.

"Move your hand over me."

Missy moved her hand slowly and then faster.

"God, that feels good. You better stop."

"Didn't I do it right?"

"Fuck no. It was amazing. It's just if you continue I'll be done before we get started."

"Oh." Missy laughed.

"You think that's funny."

"No, not at all."

Patrick put the condom on.

"Sure. Are you really ready?"

"Yes. I want you Patrick."

Patrick took her leg and placed it over his hip.

"Tell me if I hurt you. Anytime."

"I will. Please, Patrick."

He guided himself inside of her. Patrick looked down to make sure he wasn't hurting her. He slowly went inside of her.

"Patrick!"

"Oh fuck. Did I hurt you?"

"Um, a little. It's alright. Go a little slower."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

Patrick continued to go in slower until he was at her barrier.

"This is going to hurt. I'm really sorry."

"Just go in."

Patrick pushed his way through. He looked at Missy's face and she had tears in her eyes.

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. Should I stop?"

"No, I'll be fine."

She smiled at him.

Patrick moved slowly and then faster inside of her. He bent down and kissed her. Missy wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her hands down his back.

"Patrick, I'm, I'm coming. Oh god, Patrick!"

Patrick kissed her one more time and came.

~End of flashback~


Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you,
'Cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me and
Near death, last breath, and barely hanging on.
Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?
Don't be so scared to take a second for reflection,
To take a leave of absence, see what you're made of.
So I'm selfish, and you're sorry.
When I'm gone you'll be going nowhere fast.
So who's selfish, and who's sorry?


"Patrick, Patrick."

Missy shook Patrick. He opened his eyes.

"Missy, your up."

He got up from the couch.

"Here you want to sit down."

"I'm fine Patrick! Stop treating me like a fucking baby!"

"I'm sorry. Uh, well, if you need anything I'll be in the office."

She didn't say anything. Before Patrick left the living room he turned and looked at Missy.
"I love you." He whispered.

Patrick went into the office. He opened the computer and seen a picture of Missy before all of the pain started. He traced her face with his finger.

"Where's my girl? I want you back. Fuck Missy, what happened to you? I want to help you."

He started to cry. He just didn't know what to do anymore.

"Patrick."

He wiped his eyes.

"Yeah."

"I need to go and get my meds. Do you want to come with me?"

"Of course. Let me get my jacket."

~Flashback~

"Mr. Stump, Missy is here to see you."

"Send her in, Rose." He said in the intercom.

Missy came into his office.

"Hello, Mr. Stump." She walked to his desk and sat in his lap.

"Staying busy?"

"Yeah, but not to busy for you. What's going on?"

"I have some news. Some very good news."

"Really?"

"Do you want to guess?"

"You know I'm not good at guessing. Just tell me."

"Well, it's something we've been trying at for awhile."

"Your kidding? Are you really?"

"Took the test this morning and went to the doctor. I'm a 100% pregnant."

"Oh my god."

He placed his hand on her stomach.

"How far along are you?"

"Six weeks. So, it's still early. Here's a picture."

She handed him an ultrasound picture.

"Look at her."

Her? And how do you know?"

"Do you want a baby to look like me?"

"Um, yes! Unless it is a girl. But a little Stump boy will be as gorgeous as his daddy."
"I love you, Missy." Patrick said as he kissed her.

~End of flashback~

Patrick and Missy came back to the car after picking up her medication.

"Any new ones?"

"No, the same old ones. Dr. Mitchell is watching the lithium levels though. They were kind of low last week. I'm going in tomorrow for blood work."

"Alright. Missy, we need to talk?"

"No! Talking does nothing, but brings up the past. I want to forget the past."

"Well, I don't want to. She was a part of our life. You are a mother."

"How can you say that. I have no child to hold at night, no child to read to, and no child to rock. I'm not a mother."

"It wasn't your fault, you do know that. It happens to women all the time."

"But it wasn't suppose to happen to me. God, Patrick, I want our baby."

Missy felt the tears come and Patrick took her into his arms.

"Why didn't she want me as a mommy? What was wrong with me?"

Patrick couldn't say anything. He had tears of his own falling from his eyes.

"Patrick, I think I need some time away."

"What? No, we'll be fine. You'll be fine."

"Do I look fine to you? I snap at you for no reason, I can hardly get out of bed, and I want to die. I don't want to live anymore."

"Missy, don't talk like that."

"It's true Patrick. I'm going to talk to Dr. Mitchell about being admitted to the Behavioral Health Unit tomorrow."

"No. Please, baby. I want to help you. You don't need to go there."

"I'm not going to get better sitting at home. Don't argue with me on this."

"Fine. I just don't think you need to go but if that's what you think is best I'll be right by you. I just don't want to let you go. I want to help you, but if you need someone else to help you I'll step aside."

"Thank you. I'm not leaving you. You have helped me so much. More than I can ever thank you for. I love you."

"I love you too."

They sat in the car holding each other.


Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you,
'Cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me and
Near death, last breath, and barely hanging on.
Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?

Someone, somewhere said some things that may have sparked some sympathy, but
Don't believe, don't believe a word you've heard about me


Patrick took Missy to the Behavioral Health Unit the next day.

"This is as far as you can go, Patrick." Dr. Mitchell said.

"Oh, alright."

Missy turned around.

"Things are going to work out. I think I can call you in a week they said. Then in two weeks you can visit."

"Okay. I'm going to miss you."

He kissed her softly.

"Please, take care of yourself. I love you."

"I love you." Missy turned around. "I'm ready. Dr. Mitchell."

"Go through those doors and wait for me. I need to talk to Patrick."

Missy went inside and sat in the waiting room.

"Patrick, this may be very difficult for you. But it's for the best."

"I know that now. She probably should of stayed in longer when she was here before."

"I agree. I'm sorry she wasn't my patient then. It will work out. If you have any questions call me."

"Thank you. Take care of her. She's all I have left."

"I will. Bye."

Patrick drove home in silence. He walked into the home and looked around. He missed her already. He went to the bedroom and laid down on the bed.

~Flashback~
Patrick walked into the bathroom.

"Baby, are you in,"

"Patrick, no! Don't come in."

He opened the door.

"Oh, my god. What happened?"

Missy was on the bathroom floor bleeding. Patrick kneeled down to her side.

"I'm losing the baby."

Missy started crying.

"What should we do? Should I call the doctor?"

"No, I already did. She said I could get a D & C or wait it out. I don't know what to do."

"Let me call again. Will you be alright?"

"Yes."

Patrick went to call the doctor and they decided Missy should get a D & C. Later that night Patrick walked into Missy's hospital room. He walked over to her bed and moved her bangs out of her eyes. Missy opened her eyes.

"Hi. How are you doing?"

"Okay. I'm sorry, Patrick."

"Stop it. It's not your fault. We'll try again when the time is right."

She smiled at him.

"They told me it was a girl. You were right."

A tear slide down Patrick's cheek.

"We should name her."

"Can we talk about it later. I just want to rest."

Patrick took her hand and watched Missy sleep.

Six months later~

"Mom, I don't know what to do anymore. She won't get out of bed or do anything."

Patrick was talking to his mom on the phone.

"Has she gone to a therapist?"

"No, she won't go to one. I'm scared. I wanted to get away this weekend and she was fine with it but then at the last minute she didn't want to go."

"Honey, you need to talk to her. I know you are, but really talk to her."

"Okay. I need to check some messages before I go home. I'll talk to you later."

Patrick hung up and logged on to his email.

He noticed that there was one from Missy. She never wrote him at work. He clicked on it and got a sick feeling at the pit of his stomach.

Patrick
I'm sorry to be doing this. I can't go on anymore. The pain is too much. Please don't be mad at me. I'll always love you. You mean the world to me, but right now I don't need you. Maybe I never did. The baby didn't need me and I don't need you. Goodbye Patrick.
Love you,
Missy

"Oh god, no." Patrick grabbed his car keys and ran out of his office.

"Mr. Stump, I need you to sign these."

"I'll do it tomorrow. I got to get home."

He got to his car and started to go home. He opened his cell and dialed the house. There was no answer. He parked the car and ran into the house and looked for Missy.

"Missy, Missy, where are you?"

"Patrick, I'm in the bedroom."

He ran into the bedroom.

"Are you alright?"

"No, I took these."

She handed him a bottle of her anti-depressants.

"Damn it."

He called 911 and held Missy as they waited.

"Why? Do you know how much I love you."

"You would be better off without me."

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Please, let me go."

"I won't. I'll never let you go."

Missy closed her eyes.

"Don't you fucking close your eyes."

A few hours later~

"Mr. Stump, your girlfriend almost lost her life tonight. If you didn't get there when you did she may have. She will have to spend some time in the Behavioral Health Unit. You may see her now."

Patrick walked to Missy's room and looked in. He didn't know where this would lead them. He was so scared for her and for himself.

~End of flashback~


Someone, somewhere said some things that may have sparked some sympathy, but
Don't believe, don't believe a word you've heard about me.

Don't be so scared.
It's harder for me.
Don't be so scared.
Don't be so scared,
It's harder for me.
Don't be so scared,
It's harder for me.
Don't be so scared,
It's harder for me.
Don't be so scared.

Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you,
'Cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me and
Near death, last breath, and barely hanging on.
Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?


"Hello?"

"Missy, it's Patrick. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. The first week was hard. I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"I'm really scared, Patrick. I wish I didn't come here."

"Baby, it will be alright. You told me you needed to go."

"I know, but now I'm not sure. I want to be in your arms. Not here."

"Missy, your ripping my heart out here. You just have a few more weeks and next week I'll be able to see you."

"I'm sorry. I love you so much."

"I love you too. How is the therapy going?"

"Pretty good. I like the therapist and I've met some people here."

"That's good."

"I have to go I'll talk to you later."

"Take care of yourself. I love you."

Patrick hung up the phone and started to panic. Something wasn't right. He just couldn't place his finger on it. He just wanted to be with Missy and take care of her. The phone rang and he answered it.

"Patrick, haven't talked to you in awhile."

"Hey, Pete. Just been a little busy."

"Do you and Missy want to go out tonight?"

"Uh, Missy is gone for awhile."

"Even better. I mean, not that she's gone but it will just be us two."

"Pete, I don't know."

"Come on. You know you want to."

"Fine. I'll go. Where should I meet you?"

"How about Charlie's at nine?"

"I'll be there."

Patrick hung up and did some work. After supper he changed and took a cab to the bar. Walking in he knew it was a bad idea, but he didn't know what a big mistake he would make. He found Pete and sat at the table.

"Hey, Patrick. This is Angelica."

"I thought you were alone."

"I was." Pete laughed.

The three of them sat drinking and talking. After awhile Pete and Angelica went to the dance floor. Patrick stayed at the table.

"Hi, can I sit here?"

Patrick looked up.

He looked into a pair of blue eyes.

"Uh, sure. My name is Patrick."

She sat down.

"I'm Tonya. Nice to meet you."

"Are you from here?"

"No, my friends and I came for a business meeting. What about you?"

"I live here. All my life."

"Oh, a townie."

Patrick laughed.

"Would you like to dance?" Patrick asked.

"Sure."

A few hours later Patrick opened the front door. Tonya kissed him.

"I've never done anything like this." She said.

"Don't talk."

She laughed.

Patrick kissed her back and closed the door with his foot. Tonya wrapped her legs around Patrick's waist. He fell back on the couch with her. Tonya grinded her hips into him.

"You sure you want to do this? I know you have a girlfriend."

"Yes, I just want to forget for a little bit."

Tonya unbuttoned Patrick's shirt and kissed his chest. The phone began ringing.

"Do you want to get that?"

"No, let the machine get it."

She went back to kissing his chest when the answering machine went off.

"Mr. Stump, we need you to call the Behavioral Health Unit as soon as possible. It's concerning Missy."

"Fuck. Get off of me."

Patrick grabbed the phone.

"I'm here."

"Oh, yes. Something happened tonight."

"What? Is she alright?"

"I'm sorry. Somehow she got a hold of some pills. She overdosed."

"Is she alright? Tell me she's alright, Dammit."

"No, she was pronounced dead a half hour ago. I'm really sorry."

Patrick let the phone drop.

"Patrick, are you alright?" Tonya asked.

"Please leave."

After she left Patrick slide to the floor and screamed. He didn't know what to do. He wanted Missy back. He wanted them to call and say it was a mistake. He wanted so little and he couldn't get it. Maybe she was right and she didn't need him anymore.


Someone, somewhere said some things that may have sparked some sympathy, but
Don't believe, don't believe a word you've heard.

Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?
'Cause I wouldn't believe you
Wouldn't believe you now
Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?
'Cause I wouldn't believe you
Wouldn't believe you now


Patrick sat down going through Missy's journal's. Months ago he buried her and started going to therapy. He started going down the same cycle that she went down. He opened a notebook and looked though the entries.

"Did you really think you didn't need me? Missy, I miss you so much."

All though the entries Missy had written how she was hurting him. He was about to throw the notebook into the box until he got to the final entry. He read out loud.

"I know I won't be on this earth much longer. I'm sorry, Patrick. I hope in time you can forgive me. I know I think I don't need you. Today talking to you I know I do, but I can't live like this. The pain is too much. I'll be waiting for you. Find someone who can truly love you. I did, but the pain overtook me. I'm sorry."

Patrick wiped the tears.

"I do forgive you, but I wish you knew how much I needed you."