Review for The New Order

The New Order

(#) stealacandy 2008-03-11

“What’s going to happen to Malfoy?” asked Harry when he was done telling his story.


“For right now, nothing,” answered the headmaster.


“What! That brat tortured me and then tried to kill me!” shouted Harry.


“It would be your word against his. That would not be enough to convict Mr. Malfoy, especially while Cornelius Fudge is Minister. The name Malfoy still holds some sway with him,” said Dumbledore.



~*~

This has been bothering me in canon, but I long since gave up on JKR seeing sense, and, in CoS, it had at least some, if not much, logic to it. But in fanfiction in general, and here, in particular, it should be pointed out and corrected.

Even if Fudge isn't going to do anything about it, which is only speculation on Dumblednore's part, then at least they should file the complaint, otherwise Draco would get away wioth it all. If they file the complaint, it can sit and wait untill a more favoring political environment comes up, and can then serve as a further point against Fudge! Why not do it? And if Dumbledore wouldn't complain to DMLE, why HArry cant do it on his own?He's shown he's capable of going against Dumbledore's wishes and judgement in the earlier chapters of your story, why not continue doing so when obviously Dumbledore's judgement is lacking?

Also, along the same lines, after he declared he doesn't trust Snape, and ordered him out of his house, why on Earth did he tell everyone the prophecy - in its entirety - and with SNAPE, of all people, still in the room?

He was the one who just pointed the man was a Death Eater, and a traitor, and cannot be trusted with any secret, let alone this one, for crying out loud! Not to mention it's a known rule in espionage, never to trust a spy, and it is a good sense, too, never to trust a one-time traitor.

And Snape didn't even show remorse! What did Harry think? What did YOU think?

And who's to say none of the other Order members would let the prophecy leak out. The Order has more holes than a fishnet!

You know, now that I think about it, most of the story doesn't make much sense either - all along these same lines of illogical decision making and actions.

I'd say: REVISE, REVISE, REVISE! Take your time and re-write the whole thing to make sense, we, your readers, aren't going anywhere.


s,a,c.

Author's response

You make a lot of valid points, the only one i entirely disagree with is your point about the Prophecy/Snape issue. Harry only reveals the whole prohpecy to Lupin, Hermione and the Weasleys. While Snape is there the only line he resites is the very first one, which Snape would have already known since he overheard it.


as for filing a complaint or going to DMLE, the way i explained it at the time i wrote it was that Harry has an inate distrust of the ministry which keeps him from going to them except in cases where he has to, such as to get the wavers. Now in heinsight that does seem to be a pretty weak explanation, and i may rewrite this eventually, though i would like to get a little deeper into the plot so that i know how to change everything.