Review for I don`t love you like I did yesterday
(#) Kid_Vicous 2011-05-15 03:42:06 AM
The sentence "To my surprise he didn't look that surprised" sounds, quite frankly, pretty stupid. You can't really use two words like that in the same sentence. Try using a different word for surprised eg astonished, shocked, etc. Also there are a lot of "mikes"' that should be "Mikes"' and a lot of "gee"s that should be "Gee". Also, if I were you I'd make the little voices in Gerard's head italic so it's easier to read and "Cute Mikes" should have a comma after the "cute".
Finally, "half a brain cell" doesn't really work as the brain is made up of a lot of cells and if one of those cells was missing half of itself it could still fuction okay. "Half a brain" works though.
The night before turning 17 Harry discovers that he is adopted, and an ALIEN. Harry finds out he is ...
In: Harry Potter
- Authors: 610674
- Stories: 40308
This is just a series of small one-shots I write when I'm having writer's block. WARNING: COULD CONT...
In: Dragon Ball Z
This will be my first ever fanfiction even though I've been reading them for a couple years now. Thi...
Sequel to ‘Blood and Affection’. After a year has passed since Gerard turned Helena Sheridan int...
A Taylor Swift Fan Fic
Set somewhere in S4. Sam's colds gets in the way of hunting and Dean is terribly hurt. Major display...