Review for I don`t love you like I did yesterday
(#) Kid_Vicous 2011-05-15 03:42:06 AM
The sentence "To my surprise he didn't look that surprised" sounds, quite frankly, pretty stupid. You can't really use two words like that in the same sentence. Try using a different word for surprised eg astonished, shocked, etc. Also there are a lot of "mikes"' that should be "Mikes"' and a lot of "gee"s that should be "Gee". Also, if I were you I'd make the little voices in Gerard's head italic so it's easier to read and "Cute Mikes" should have a comma after the "cute".
Finally, "half a brain cell" doesn't really work as the brain is made up of a lot of cells and if one of those cells was missing half of itself it could still fuction okay. "Half a brain" works though.
Poor Frankie. That hamster he gave to Gerard is getting more attention than him! What's a jealous bo...
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