I would really love to see what happens with this girl. You have me intrigued...if that means anything to you. :)
You're getting better. Perfect grammar in this chapter and only two spelling mistakes:
likley: likely
realise: realize. (It has a z,not an s. I know it is weird. That's just the way English is sometimes though.)
Like I said before,if you ever get sick of my editing,just tell me to shut the eff up and I will gladly do so. :)