Review for Up Until a Minute Ago -REWRITE

Up Until a Minute Ago -REWRITE

(#) letsdanceinthedark 2011-08-26 07:48:34 PM

It's quite good but the ending was a little rushed. Put yourself in Gee's shoes, you wouldn't go from being scared because your best friend might think you're disgusting, etc to being all happy and lovey dovey in less than a minute. Not trying to flame but I think you shouldn't go from OHHH NOOO to YAYYYYY too quickly because it ruins the moment. Well, that goes for me at least. IN NO WAY AM I TRYING TO OFFEND YOU!! 8)

Author's response

I'm not offended at all, don't worry! Thank you, in fact, this is one of the first reviews I've ever got that was actually helpful!
I can kind of see your point, and I'll be the first to admit that ending are my weak point. However, I also kind of think that, since the reason he thought Frank would think he's disgusting is that he likes him, and it turns out Frank likes him too, that fact, that Frank likes him, erases the worry Frank will think he's disgusting, therefore he'd be happy, y'know?
But I'm not particularly satisfied with this ending and have been thinking about alternatives. Do you have a suggestion for how it could go differently or anything? That would be super helpful. :)

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