Review for Up Until a Minute Ago -REWRITE
Up Until a Minute Ago -REWRITE
(#) letsdanceinthedark 2011-08-26 07:48:34 PM
It's quite good but the ending was a little rushed. Put yourself in Gee's shoes, you wouldn't go from being scared because your best friend might think you're disgusting, etc to being all happy and lovey dovey in less than a minute. Not trying to flame but I think you shouldn't go from OHHH NOOO to YAYYYYY too quickly because it ruins the moment. Well, that goes for me at least. IN NO WAY AM I TRYING TO OFFEND YOU!! 8)
Author's response
I'm not offended at all, don't worry! Thank you, in fact, this is one of the first reviews I've ever got that was actually helpful!
I can kind of see your point, and I'll be the first to admit that ending are my weak point. However, I also kind of think that, since the reason he thought Frank would think he's disgusting is that he likes him, and it turns out Frank likes him too, that fact, that Frank likes him, erases the worry Frank will think he's disgusting, therefore he'd be happy, y'know?
But I'm not particularly satisfied with this ending and have been thinking about alternatives. Do you have a suggestion for how it could go differently or anything? That would be super helpful. :)
I can kind of see your point, and I'll be the first to admit that ending are my weak point. However, I also kind of think that, since the reason he thought Frank would think he's disgusting is that he likes him, and it turns out Frank likes him too, that fact, that Frank likes him, erases the worry Frank will think he's disgusting, therefore he'd be happy, y'know?
But I'm not particularly satisfied with this ending and have been thinking about alternatives. Do you have a suggestion for how it could go differently or anything? That would be super helpful. :)
Filter
You won't see stories with a lower score when you browse or search. Log in to adjust filter.
0
Featured Story
-
Hinge of the Year
by Faeline (R)A Solstice fic, unknown timeline (possibly post-game?). Tseng, Rufus, and a small holiday gift.
In: Final Fantasy 7
Site Stats
- Authors: 198068
- Stories: 39117
Recent Stories
-
Ana and Mia are My Best Friends
by mcrluvva101 (PG-13)Story of a girl suffering from anorexia, bulimia and self harm.
In: Drama
-
Why would she be interested in you?
by BlueViolet_Mourning (PG-13)I set this when Brendon was in highschool. He meets new girl Trisha, but will she fall for the nerd ...
-
You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break
by IloveMCRmy (PG-13)Rachel is the new girl at Belleville high school for her senior year, but what happens when she meet...
-
Harry Hibiki and the Philosopher's Stone
by USA_Tiger (PG-13)On the night Voldemort attacks the Potter's home, a completely different person finds Harry before S...
In: Harry Potter
-
Two Heads Are Better Than One.
by X_ragemuch_X (G)This is just a simple love story between Frank and Gerard. Don't like? Don't read. -_-