Oh no. Damn darling, I'm sorry so much is happening in your life right now.
Don't think you can't vent over something like this. It's still a tragedy. It's not revolving around death but since when is death the only painful tragedy?
I wish the best for you and your brother. I'm sorry that happened to him. I'm sorry you felt you had to sell yourself.
If you need help/someone to talk to then email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
I can always try.
I understand if you can't post/type right now but you shouldn't give up Ficwad. Everyone here is here for you, especially when you need positive people in your life.