I think you're amazing for actually getting out of bed. I know I didn't. It's actually a really strong move when falling back to sleep is so easy and peaceful.
I know it doesn't feel like it now and you probably won't believe me anyways.. But I'm living proof that it does get better. i've been exactly where you are now. I recognize every single word you write.
You need to find someone to talk to. It doesn't matter if it's a stranger like anyone of us or someone at school or a friend you think would understand. Talking about it does help. Just unloading everything for a while and sharing your feelings. It's incredible how much it lightens the load. It's ok to let someone else carry it for a while.
I don't know how it is for you because it's always different but for me I couldn't get better without pills. There was some wiring problems in my brain and I needed some help for it to work right. Maybe that's what you need too.
All I know is that you don't have to feel this way and if you don't find anyone else then you have three awesome people here who cares and who wants to help (yes we're awesome). I'm a very empathetic person and I couldn't stop myself from reading this and replying to you. If you wanna rant/vent/unload I'll be happy to give you my two cents.
Just stay strong and keep getting out of bed because you're amazing for it. You're so strong and you can get through this. Stay Strong
Author's response
Seriously, dude, this review pretty much made me cry, thank you so much. I'm already on meds for my bipolar but I still feel like this all the fucking time, so maybe they don't work for me, maybe I need to try something else but I don't know what. The thing is, I know things will get better, i just...I dont realise it or something, it doesn't register, I dunno, it's weird man. But thank you so much, it really does mean a lot to me.