there is a lot of dialog, which is good because most of it is humorous, and i'm always in need of a good laugh. so kudos on that.
my only complaint is that you aren't really developing the characters. not that they aren't good characters, but it's hard to picture them and make them dimensional without good development.
anyway, i'm not trying to be a bitch, just a little constructive criticism. Keep writing, I’m excited to see where this is going.
Author's response
lol thanks
yeah it is moving kinda slow
i figured it would unfrtunately but im trying! lol