Review for They gave us 2 shots to the back of the head
(#) FrankAIero 2012-07-27 02:02:33 PM
The idea itself it's pretty good. But I feel like you don't know where you're going and it's all over the place. Every now and then you'll have spelling mistakes that I graciously look over. Your grammar is not the best and your writing style is sort of confusing. Maybe you aren't comfortable with your writing style yet.
I think this could be good, but it needs a lot of work. The shortness does not bother me at all. But the story does need a ton of work. Do you have a beta? I'd suggest getting one. It's a lot of help and makes things less stressful.
I noticed you used the excuse of using your phone but that is a terrible excuse. I know tons of authors on here that work on their phone and still get everything in order and post some pretty amazing stuff. Hopefully I'm not coming across as a hater. I'm just trying to help and offering some -hopefully- helpful criticism.
Just keep working and writing and it will progressively get better. You have a lot of potiential and I think if you take criticism and think it over and let it help you, you'll go far.
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